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(Some Guy) Asinine Six year old charged with sexual assault over game of tag. That is going on his permanent record   (sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com) divider line 156
More: Asinine, Hercules, sex crimes  
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19653 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2012 at 2:52 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



156 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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mr_a [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 12:45:44 PM
If they saw some of the stuff that happened on my elementary school playground...they'd be filing assault, armed robbery and probably attempted murder charges.

...and we all survived just fine.
 
R.A.Danny [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 12:50:51 PM
It wasn't until Oswin and his wife got a lawyer that the school backed off.

If they had any faith in their own charges they wouldn't have. Dropping the charge was an admission of being disingenuous douchebags.
 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 01:02:08 PM
I hate being old, but I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be a kid today.
 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 01:36:20 PM
wtf?
 
FloydA [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 01:58:22 PM
Oswin?
 
Theaetetus
2012-01-29 02:02:02 PM
The parent, who asked only to be identified as Oswin, said his son was accused of brushing his best friend's leg or groin while the two were playing on the playground at Lupine Hills Elementary in Hercules two months ago.

Oswin said his child was kept in the principal's office for two hours until he confessed. He was suspended, and a sexual battery charge was placed on his permanent school record.

I'm guessing that it was a little more than being accused of "brushing a leg". Kid probably punched the other kid in the nuts, school overreacted and treated what should have been just a playground fight as a sexual assault.
 
smooshie [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 02:10:07 PM
Hercules Family Battles Sex Assault Claim Against 6-Year-Old

To be fair, even a light game of tag can be quite dangerous if you're being tagged by Hercules.
 
FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 02:22:14 PM
Man, it's a good thing they didn't say they were playing "smear the queer", or this kid would have been charged with a hate crime, too.
 
Jamdug! [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 02:40:03 PM
Don't get so distressed. Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed?
 
This About That [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 02:48:48 PM
This is going to become a permanent part of his education, and that of his whole class: that the world is run by idiotic big people whose greatest achievement is to absolve themselves of blame using some dimwitted non-thinking "no tolerance" this or that to abuse others, including a six-year-old.
 
This About That [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 02:52:55 PM
Relatively Obscure: I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be a kid today.

... or, frankly, any younger than I am. We could have the dark ages again if the right-wing fundies get their way. I don't want to live in a right-wing fundie litigious ignorant world after the great experiment with democracy ends and religion takes over -- again.
 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo
2012-01-29 02:53:43 PM
When I was in 4th through 6th grade, we would play tag all the time. But we called it "Child Molester". No lie. The guy who was it was the molester.
 
PizzaJedi81
2012-01-29 02:54:18 PM
Jamdug!: Don't get so distressed. Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed?

No more rhyming now, I mean it!
 
6655321
2012-01-29 02:55:28 PM
Did this occur at the William George Jefferson Clinton Elementary School?
 
Smeggy Smurf
2012-01-29 02:56:04 PM
This is nothing a carefully applied .45 bullet to the left temple of the administrators can't fix.
 
mrjones61
2012-01-29 02:56:06 PM
Wow, before I even read the article I though to myself "this must be in California". yep I was right. Love my home state, but we are good at raising over-reactive douche bags.
 
Gleeman
2012-01-29 02:57:09 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
OgreMagi
2012-01-29 02:57:11 PM
Every time a school administration does something this stupid, all it would take to get them to back off is enough parents keeping their kids home until the school relents. The schools get money based upon school attendance each day, if a few hundred parents did this, the school would feel the financial bite.
 
nburghmatt
2012-01-29 02:57:34 PM
mr_a: If they saw some of the stuff that happened on my elementary school playground...they'd be filing assault, armed robbery and probably attempted murder charges.

...and we all survived just fine.

this. we called that butt-tag. it was extremely innocent.
 
FloydA [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 02:58:19 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
ScottMpls
2012-01-29 02:58:26 PM
Wait until they play "Smear the Queer" ...

/
 
aaronius
2012-01-29 02:58:40 PM
Jamdug!: Don't get so distressed. Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed?

But do you remember what 8 was for, because I forget what 8 was for.
 
Fano
2012-01-29 02:58:49 PM
This About That: This is going to become a permanent part of his education, and that of his whole class: that the world is run by idiotic big people whose greatest achievement is to absolve themselves of blame using some dimwitted non-thinking "no tolerance" this or that to abuse others, including a six-year-old.

Teach them to have no faith in authority young. Good lesson.
 
DerechoSCK
2012-01-29 02:58:54 PM
PizzaJedi81: Jamdug!: Don't get so distressed. Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed?

No more rhyming now, I mean it!

Anybody want a peanut?
 
Coco LaFemme
2012-01-29 02:58:54 PM
Is a six-year-old capable of understanding what sex is, much less what sexual battery is? How can a six-year-old confess to doing something they can't even define?

This article makes me stabby.
 
bmihura
2012-01-29 02:59:25 PM
mrjones61: Wow, before I even read the article I though to myself "this must be in California". yep I was right. Love my home state, but we are good at raising over-reactive douche bags.

I was thinking Massachusetts then California, having lived in both. Good call.
 
anuran
2012-01-29 03:00:06 PM
These days it just might go on a permanent record. There's been some litigation over how much of elementary school academic and disciplinary records the Feds can siphon off into their databases. Homeland Security is VERY interested. The schools are tending to dig in their heels.
 
Tainted1
2012-01-29 03:00:17 PM
Theaetetus: The parent, who asked only to be identified as Oswin, said his son was accused of brushing his best friend's leg or groin while the two were playing on the playground at Lupine Hills Elementary in Hercules two months ago.

Oswin said his child was kept in the principal's office for two hours until he confessed. He was suspended, and a sexual battery charge was placed on his permanent school record.

I'm guessing that it was a little more than being accused of "brushing a leg". Kid probably punched the other kid in the nuts, school overreacted and treated what should have been just a playground fight as a sexual assault.

Of course, they did put the heat on a six year old for two hours to get a confession.
 
nburghmatt
2012-01-29 03:00:44 PM
nburghmatt: mr_a: If they saw some of the stuff that happened on my elementary school playground...they'd be filing assault, armed robbery and probably attempted murder charges.

...and we all survived just fine.

this. we called that butt-tag. it was extremely innocent.

to clarify we would chase girls around and smack their butts.
 
7th Son of a 7th Son
2012-01-29 03:02:07 PM
mr_a: If they saw some of the stuff that happened on my elementary school playground...they'd be filing assault, armed robbery and probably attempted murder charges.

...and we all survived just fine.

THIS! If you came back to class without a cut or a scrape or grass stains on your clothes you needed to seriously re-evaluate what recess was all about.
 
rikkidoxx
2012-01-29 03:02:08 PM
This About That: Relatively Obscure: I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be a kid today.

... or, frankly, any younger than I am. We could have the dark ages again if the right-wing fundies get their way. I don't want to live in a right-wing fundie litigious ignorant world after the great experiment with democracy ends and religion takes over -- again.

It's the Liberal Left that's responsible for all the idiotic school suspensions. Read more about the no tolerance to weapons if you want to see asinine stupidity.
 
jiesenPSD
2012-01-29 03:02:43 PM
www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com
/Hercules, Hercules!
 
Jon iz teh kewl
2012-01-29 03:08:16 PM
WAS THERE ANY BLOOD IN THE VICTIM'S ANUS?
NO. THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THERES BLLOOOD IN THE TOILET ALMOST EVERY TIME I GO AND IT HURTS LIKE THE DICKENS. BUT I CANT CHARGE QUAKER OATS
FOR NOT PUTTING ENOUGH FIBER IN THEIR CEREAL. NOW CAN I.
 
DontMakeMeComeBackThere
2012-01-29 03:10:44 PM
OgreMagi: Every time a school administration does something this stupid, all it would take to get them to back off is enough parents keeping their kids home until the school relents. The schools get money based upon school attendance each day, if a few hundred parents did this, the school would feel the financial bite.

Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. School districts get funding based on enrollment on a single day - usually day 100 of the school year. So, keeping your currently enrolled kid home from school does nothing. You'd have to unenroll them, before the critical day, to do anything.
 
skinink
2012-01-29 03:10:58 PM

"Oswin said his child was kept in the principal's office for two hours until he confessed"


Confess to your crime or you will never have Jell-O for lunch again. Ten minutes tops to get the confession.


I'd bet money that one thing the lawyer might have said is you administrators cannot use your Mickey Mouse confession to use as a crime basis. What idiot in the school thought everything he learned on CSI made him a detective?

 
Captain Couscous
2012-01-29 03:11:07 PM
Coco LaFemme: Is a six-year-old capable of understanding what sex is, much less what sexual battery is? How can a six-year-old confess to doing something they can't even define?

1 - No.
2 - Confine the six-year-old until a confession is extracted.

This article makes me stabby.

Yep.
 
DerechoSCK
2012-01-29 03:11:35 PM
Jon iz teh kewl: WAS THERE ANY BLOOD IN THE VICTIM'S ANUS?
NO. THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THERES BLLOOOD IN THE TOILET ALMOST EVERY TIME I GO AND IT HURTS LIKE THE DICKENS. BUT I CANT CHARGE QUAKER OATS
FOR NOT PUTTING ENOUGH FIBER IN THEIR CEREAL. NOW CAN I.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
Desmo
2012-01-29 03:11:58 PM
Unless the kid in question kicked, punched or grabbed the crotch of the other kid with the intent to do harm, it's not SEXUAL battery.

And besides, WTF?!
 
PsyRatty
2012-01-29 03:12:05 PM
This About That: Relatively Obscure: I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be a kid today.

... or, frankly, any younger than I am. We could have the dark ages again if the right-wing fundies get their way. I don't want to live in a right-wing fundie litigious ignorant world after the great experiment with democracy ends and religion takes over -- again.

1/10... I'd say 0, but someone took the bait.
 
HammerHeadSnark
2012-01-29 03:12:18 PM
We played 'poison tag.' You had to hold the place where you were tagged as you tried to tag someone else. Favorite sites, for both genders, were ass, crotch, and boobs.

We were a randy bunch o' grade school kids.
 
mrjones61
2012-01-29 03:13:08 PM
OgreMagi: Every time a school administration does something this stupid, all it would take to get them to back off is enough parents keeping their kids home until the school relents. The schools get money based upon school attendance each day, if a few hundred parents did this, the school would feel the financial bite.

Unfortunately many states have laws that prevent this. Here in Oregon if a student misses too many days of school, the school can actually fine the parent $1000. I'm not saying its right, but it's the law.
 
RoyBatty
2012-01-29 03:13:37 PM
Theaetetus: The parent, who asked only to be identified as Oswin, said his son was accused of brushing his best friend's leg or groin while the two were playing on the playground at Lupine Hills Elementary in Hercules two months ago.

Oswin said his child was kept in the principal's office for two hours until he confessed. He was suspended, and a sexual battery charge was placed on his permanent school record.

I'm guessing that it was a little more than being accused of "brushing a leg". Kid probably punched the other kid in the nuts, school overreacted and treated what should have been just a playground fight as a sexual assault.

So you go from friendly incident to it was a fight.
Then from it was a fight to it was a punch in the nuts.

You also go from it was five year olds playing innocently to one of them was wrong, one of them must be blamed, it could not be teacher over-reaction.

What happened to you as a child, dude?
 
This About That [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 03:13:53 PM
rikkidoxx: It's the Liberal Left

OK, altogether it's authoritarians avoiding blame (and lawsuits) that create the "no-tolerance" nonsense. There are authoritarians on the left, too, especially the anti- this or that (guns, smoking, alcohol, etc, etc.). It's the poor folk who need to be told what to do, and have no idea how to proceed when they accidentally find themselves with a bit of authority, like the local school administration or school board or county supervisor. But I will say that the poor frightened, inept souls tend to be authoritarian, in hopes that "someone" will tell them how to be, or in hopes of exerting "authority" over others -- often both at once. These authoritarian types tend to be religious and republican, but they also exist on the left side of politics. Manipulation of these poor souls is the main strength of right-wing politics and Big Religion. By membership in groups, these people excuse themselves from all blame and vilify others, as can be seen in the current smear campaign against Obama by the right.
 
PizzaJedi81
2012-01-29 03:14:11 PM
mrjones61: OgreMagi: Every time a school administration does something this stupid, all it would take to get them to back off is enough parents keeping their kids home until the school relents. The schools get money based upon school attendance each day, if a few hundred parents did this, the school would feel the financial bite.

Unfortunately many states have laws that prevent this. Here in Oregon if a student misses too many days of school, the school can actually fine the parent $1000. I'm not saying its right, but it's the law.

Yeah, but if enough parents do it, say...hm...75%? THAT might affect some change.
 
matterri [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 03:15:40 PM
ScottMpls: Wait until they play "Smear the Queer" ...

/

//How about Attempted Murder for playing "Cowboys & Indians"?

/// Abduction charges for "Hide Seek"?
 
Boondock3806
2012-01-29 03:16:43 PM
Permanent school record, which is still an over-reaction, but it's not the panic-inducing WTF that subtard's headline implies.

So, any ideas how long a permanent school record stays with a student? Is it just until he leaves that school? That district?
 
clear_prop [TotalFark]
2012-01-29 03:19:06 PM
matterri: ScottMpls: Wait until they play "Smear the Queer" ...

//How about Attempted Murder for playing "Cowboys & Indians"?

/// Abduction charges for "Hide Seek"?

Don't forget about the weapons charge for using your finger as a 'gun' in "Cowboys & Indians".
 
RoyBatty
2012-01-29 03:20:58 PM
OgreMagi: Every time a school administration does something this stupid, all it would take to get them to back off is enough parents keeping their kids home until the school relents. The schools get money based upon school attendance each day, if a few hundred parents did this, the school would feel the financial bite.

So my kids are now probably old enough that this kind of idiocy won't happen to them.

I think this gets fixed when lawyers stop white knighting these schools, and start suing the shiat out of them, each and every time.

The whole zero tolerance thing is a virus our human culture is susceptible to, because who could be against safety and precaution? So it's a race to the bottom driven by a weird teaming up of lawyers, feminists, conservative and liberals . Sexual Assault! Drugs! Weapons! And the ever present lawyers in the background advising the schools how to avoid future liability.

Just say no to zero tolerance.
 
thisisyourbrainonFark
2012-01-29 03:24:46 PM
Relatively Obscure: I hate being old, but I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be a kid today.

i2.kym-cdn.com
 
tseven7
2012-01-29 03:25:10 PM
clear_prop: matterri: ScottMpls: Wait until they play "Smear the Queer" ...

//How about Attempted Murder for playing "Cowboys & Indians"?

/// Abduction charges for "Hide Seek"?

Don't forget about the weapons charge for using your finger as a 'gun' in "Cowboys & Indians".

It's "Cowboys & Native Americans". Get it right. Otherwise it's a hate crime.
 
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