This article is very insightful. Thank you to the fark admins for greenlighting another interesting and informative news story. I can always count on fark for my up to date headlines and investigative reporting from around the world. Kudos fark. 5 stars.

Can we replace the Obvious tag with a Romero one?

why read the product reviews at all?

because sometimes they're comedy gold

For $25 I will write positive review of the Holocaust ...

TravisBickle62: For $25 I will write positive review of the Holocaust ...

plenty of people already do that for free

ultraholland: TravisBickle62: For $25 I will write positive review of the Holocaust ...

plenty of people already do that for free

But his will have the credibility of peer review!

If the thing needed a case, wouldnt it come with one

The Tom Cruise Butt Plug is the most comfortable, enwidening sensuous extender I have ever used.

How about paying them with good service and products? It's cheaper and easier to do, as that's usually in the business plan already.

Cyno01: Or just out and out fake ones. When my last company launched reviews on their website, the day the feature went live every single item had about a half dozen 4 and 5 star reviews that were really obviously fake because they included way to many demographic details. "As a young female college student, this laptop is perfect for on the go..." Really?

On the go what? We want to know more about what a young female college student does with her laptop!

/giggity?
//GIG-I-TY!

ultraholland: why read the product reviews at all?

because sometimes they're comedy gold

Trailer hitch toilet seat, from amazon:
"Before using this product, make sure you remove the keys from the ignition and place them securely in your pocket. I learned this the hard way.

My cousin Billy installed one of these things on his pickup and soon after we went camping. We had just polished off the last of our Pabst Blue Ribbon when my gut started rumbling. (Another safety tip: never rehydrate dehydrated camping food with beer. Trust me.)

Soon after I settled on the surprisingly comfortable commode, Billy decided to make a beer run. He hit 25 MPH on the campground dirt road, which doesn't sound very fast unless you're sitting on a toilet seat bolted to the back of a truck, your arms bent behind you clinging to the tailgate, and your pants turned inside out by the wind and flapping past your ankles, saved from flying off forever only by your hiking boots. I tried to catch Billy's attention by screaming but he had Lynard Skynard cranked up to 11 in the cab and couldn't hear me. The other campers heard me just fine though, including the college woman's soccer team that was camped out in the big meadow on the right. I guess they alerted the park ranger because he was waiting for us in the gravel parking lot of the general store. Billy hit the brakes, fishtailing the truck and spraying gravel right up at my tender parts.

That was three months ago. It was Billy's first DUI and instead of going to jail, he was was allowed to enroll in a 12-step program. I lucked out too. The charges of lewd and lascivious behavior were dropped and I'm pretty much walking normally again. And the commode came through like a champ. I can't recommend this product highly enough. "

If customers can't even trust each other to write an honest review, why read the product reviews at all?

Has anyone ever submitted an honest review/complaint to consumerist?

/No

The internet was a friggin utopia in the late 90's. You could get honest reviews, customer service was awesome (etoys kept sending the wrong product and kept saying keep it we'll send the correct one), ebay buyers and sellers weren't trying to scam each other, some sellers would even send you the product before you even sent the money. Now, we get the corporations finding a way to fark up the web like they farked up the real world. This, because they can't control their QC dept, they'd rather buy votes of affection.

LarryDan43: If customers can't even trust each other to write an honest review, why read the product reviews at all?

Has anyone ever submitted an honest review/complaint to consumerist?

/No

You can read between the lines with a lot of them. When you get a story like

buyer/consumerist story submitter "Sir, this computer is not booting up correctly, can you ever so kindly exchange it for another"

bestbuy" fark off and die"

then you know the buyer is bs'ing

Romero not surprised.

ultraholland: why read the product reviews at all?

because sometimes they're comedy gold

5.0 out of 5 stars Make this your only stock and store, July 8, 2008
By
Edgar (Baltimore) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz (Misc.)
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'

/Still convinced Pocket Ninja must have done this

This is a great Fark thread! I wasn't sure if I should read it, but now that I have I don't see how I could ever have skipped it!!! Lots of great comments - I feel that I've gained so much by reading this thread on Fark.com. I'm very satisfied and will direct all my Farker friends to this thread!

I saw nothing in there the required anyone to do anything more than submit an honest review of the product. Offering a refund for doing it is not different than places that offer coupons for completing a survey. Not everyone is keen on working for free.

RandomExcess: I saw nothing in there the required anyone to do anything more than submit an honest review of the product. Offering a refund for doing it is not different than places that offer coupons for completing a survey. Not everyone is keen on working for free.

And you don't think someone who's been bought is more likely to vote your way. Are you kidding me?

In 2004, I worked for Circuit City (bleh). One summer day as the Olympics were gearing up, someone came in asking about an Olympic Games PS2 game (or something like that). I looked it up on the company site and it already had 2 glowing reviews from users... and it wouldn't be released for at least another day or two.

Just one more reason I'm glad that company went down the shiatter...

almandot: This article is very insightful. Thank you to the fark admins for greenlighting another interesting and informative news story. I can always count on fark for my up to date headlines and investigative reporting from around the world. Kudos fark. 5 stars.

I'm always suspicious of over-the-top positive reviews. I tend to think they were written by the organization or a schill for the organization. On the other hand, when I see a negative review, I can't help but wonder if was planted there by some competitor. Probably more me being paranoid and distrustful than anything else, but I imagine it is something I would resort to if I ran a restaurant and wasn't getting enough positive reviews organically.

few years back did a survey for Kaspersky anti-virus i bought and used. i was honest (pleased). they sent me a $50.00 Amazon gift card.

4 out of 5 prostitutes give my penis five stars!

You know why Newegg's product reviews are so high? They'll remove any reference to a DOA (Dead On Arrival). They actually reserve the right to in their rules!

/yeah, those are performance reviews... a DOA isn't performing, so it doesn't count... that makes sense

Lone Stranger: 4 out of 5 prostitutes give my penis five stars herpes!

FTFY

PizzaJedi81: Cyno01: Or just out and out fake ones. When my last company launched reviews on their website, the day the feature went live every single item had about a half dozen 4 and 5 star reviews that were really obviously fake because they included way to many demographic details. "As a young female college student, this laptop is perfect for on the go..." Really?

On the go what? We want to know more about what a young female college student does with her laptop!

/giggity?
//GIG-I-TY!

"I demand to know what happened to the plucky young lawyer and her compellingly short garment!"