If you don't want to be known and you don't want the money, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUY THE TICKET?
You're either on the run from the law or the mob, but still in either case, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUY THE TICKET?
I'm pretty sure the client is an 8-foor Wookiee living on Endor.

He can give it to me.

I'll take a donation....even a couple of grand would help.

Codenamechaz: Honestly, I don't blame him. As much as I'd love a million bucks right now from a lotto win, it'd only cause me more problems than it would solve.

Lol. I'd take that chance.

Mofo_Jones: I'll take a donation....even a couple of grand would help.

Th^s. gimme 18k. that's all i ask.

/eip

It's stolen, or the person is wanted by authorities for some crime.

Shady lawyer? You don't say.

Ed Finnerty: It's Mitt Romney.

Corporations are lottery winners, my friend!

sandi_fish: Shady lawyer? You don't say.

The criminal lawyer needs a criminal lawyer?

Better call Saul!

The person who actually bought this ticket is a corpse now.

He's just a dick. He doesn't want the company that's suing him to get any money. His stance is either he gets it all in an offshore account or none at all so that way the company that's suing him has no chance of getting any.

sforce: He's just a dick. He doesn't want the company that's suing him to get any money. His stance is either he gets it all in an offshore account or none at all so that way the company that's suing him has no chance of getting any.

He's not the person on camera buying the ticket and no one knows of him going to Iowa at that time. So even if he is the beneficiary of this trust there's still the question of how the ticket came into his possession.

Codenamechaz: Honestly, I don't blame him. As much as I'd love a million bucks right now from a lotto win, it'd only cause me more problems than it would solve.

That ticket was stolen, and he was trying to hide the money in a Latin American tax shelter so the people he stole from couldn't touch it. As an attorney, he has no right to say he doesn't want to collect because he doesn't want to deal with it anymore...................... unless he's his own client. Fraud all the way around.

People who say they don't want the money are incorrect. It's beginning to get under my skin.

You must have never been poor. Just a heads up. You run out of money, you lose respect and friends. You lose your ability to pay bills and eat. You lose your everyday life and go into survival mode, worrying how you are going to make it. You lose your shelter. If you owe child support, you may lose your freedom.

Give me the money, I can put it to good use.

Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

So here is the deal, whoever offers me the best reason for why this happened, consipricay insane fark theories DO apply, I will buy a month of total fark for. this is not a joke, i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself). The story that makes the most sense, while tied with the article, in my drunken brain, wins.

The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?

To prove my credentials of buying total fark from people and other random shiat, while drunk, here is the thread where i bought things from ebay (and the farkers that suggested them TF for 1 month) while drunk:

Link (new window)

Epiphany: i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself)

No seriously, I could use the money. I've got bills. Or if that doesn't work, try these:
What if I'd be your best friend?
What if I gave you five bucks?
What if I told you it's my birthday?
What if I said BIE was ok as well?
What if I said Lucas is a genius?
What if I said that Lucas is a hack?
What if I don't care who wins the Super Bowl, but would rather see a game where it isn't a blowout by the second quarter?

urban.derelict: Epiphany: i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself)
[lh6.googleusercontent.com image 151x57]

Epiphany: To prove my credentials of buying total fark from people and other random shiat, while drunk, here is the thread where i bought things from ebay (and the farkers that suggested them TF for 1 month) while drunk:

Link (new window)

Suck it. White Knight.

Also, keep it up, I'm not joking. I'm giving this thread 12 hours and the person who quotes me and explains it best to me gets a month of total fark.

Epiphany: Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

THANKYOU. For the perfect summary and making me stop questioning my sanity.

So it's not just me. I'm from O/S, y'see.... so I assumed there were better news stories out there explaining everything and I just missed them. This is one STRANGE story.
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david_gaithersburg: The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?
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You gotta be trolling. That adds an exta 2 levels to the 6 existing levels of WTF.

Leskay: Epiphany: Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

THANKYOU. For the perfect summary and making me stop questioning my sanity.

Actually, it wasn't a perfect summary. There are a few extra bits of WTF you could have added.

But I liked your incredulousness. It was a perfect summary of my incredulousness.

Epiphany: Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

So here is the deal, whoever offers me the best reason for why this happened, consipricay insane fark theories DO apply, I will buy a month of total fark for. this is not a joke, i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself). The story that makes the most sense, while tied with the article, in my drunken brain, wins.

I cannot understand it fully myself let alone explain it, but somehow, some way, I keep thinking that a Nigerian Prince is involved in this mess.

you are a puppet: The person who actually bought this ticket is a corpse now.

Pretty much. RIP Unknown Lottery Ticket Buyer.

------------------------------------------------

Sarah Palin's Conscience: sandi_fish: Shady lawyer? You don't say.

The criminal lawyer needs a criminal lawyer?

Better call Saul!

Not just any criminal attorney needing a criminal lawyer, either. The father in law of the president of Morgan Stanley Investment Management. What gets me is that the asshole lawyers were still trying to get hold of the money by claiming they wanted to claim it *for charity* now:

FTFA: "Making matters more complex, Shaw's lawyers told the Lottery that Shaw was retained by an attorney who was representing the ticket purchaser - whose identity was unknown, even to Shaw. Shaw agreed to represent the purchaser's attorney on the condition that both of their identities and all discussions would remain secret because of attorney-client privilege, they said.

"At the same time, Shaw's lawyers said in their Tuesday offer to give the money to charity that the person who legally bought the ticket, possessed it and transferred it to the trust approved the deal. They said Iowa law did not require the disclosure of the name and address of the buyer, but giving the money to charity would assure "that no prohibited player may benefit from the payment of the prize." Iowa law does not allow anyone under the age of 21 or employed by the Lottery to play.

"Neubauer said Lottery officials rejected the offer because they weren't sure the claim was legal. She said Iowa law requires the release of the winner's information, which she said could potentially be a trust. She said the Lottery in the future will evaluate claims of winners who wish to keep their identities from the public for safety or other reasons on a case-by-case basis."

This is so retarded.

- unknown possibly underaged, possibly ineligible person buys ticket in Iowa
- unknown Attorney A enters picture claiming to be on behalf of the Lottery Ticket buyer
- Shaw says he'll represent Attorney A if Attorney A doesn't tell him who the Lottery Ticket buyer is, and all communication between Shaw and Attorney A are sealed... including Attorney A's identity???!
- Shaw signs the lottery ticket with his own name (!!!???) in New York
- Shaw has the lottery ticket fed-exed to Iowa with two hours to spare
- Attorney B enters the picture to represent Shaw

There are now three groups of attorneys involved, allegedly.

I hope by the time all of this unravels all three groups go to jail. (Fat chance, right?) Someone *is* dead. There is no reason for normal people to go through all this rigamorole just to remain anonymous. The whitest of white collar criminals? Sure.

I'd like to know who the 'charity' was Attorney B was trying to give the money to. I also notice that they don't claim that the Lottery Ticket Buyer made the offer, only that Lottery Ticket Buyer approved the offer. I don't know who these attorneys are trying to fool. Even if it was on the up and up, they still come across as making decisions for someone who is not in a position to make decisions for themselves, they're only along for the ride as the attorneys decide what's best for them.

But they're not on the up and up. And just like everyone else here says, nobody who legitimately wins, is going to say 'fk it I don't want the money anymore it's too much trouble' unless they're the mother of the dead baby in that old Solomon story.

Find the body. Find the motive. Jail them all.

TV's Vinnie: Epiphany: Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

So here is the deal, whoever offers me the best reason for why this happened, consipricay insane fark theories DO apply, I will buy a month of total fark for. this is not a joke, i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself). The story that makes the most sense, while tied with the article, in my drunken brain, wins.

I cannot understand it fully myself let alone explain it, but somehow, some way, I keep thinking that a Nigerian Prince is involved in this mess.

I have a feeling some old foggie in an old foggie home won this thing, and has since been overly medicated while the orderly who stole his ticket tries to figure out how to get the money anonymously.

david_gaithersburg: The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?

Wat? Is that in the article? Why would that be outsourced to Belize in the first place?

Rabbitgod: TV's Vinnie: Epiphany: Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

So here is the deal, whoever offers me the best reason for why this happened, consipricay insane fark theories DO apply, I will buy a month of total fark for. this is not a joke, i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself). The story that makes the most sense, while tied with the article, in my drunken brain, wins.

I cannot understand it fully myself let alone explain it, but somehow, some way, I keep thinking that a Nigerian Prince is involved in this mess.

I have a feeling some old foggie in an old foggie home won this thing, and has since been overly medicated while the orderly who stole his ticket tries to figure out how to get the money anonymously.

Why use an attorney who completely bankrupted a company to the tune of millions while acting as both CEO and consultant, while setting up a blind trust in Belize to do it, though? Regular orderly is not going to do this, and doesn't have the connections to do this. Regular orderly is going to be like any number of fools who scam the old fashioned way and get caught.

I don't believe this is an 'orderly' scam, at least, it's not an orderly running the shots. This is pure white-collar. Which I guess makes you right.... maybe there is an 'orderly' involved. Not just the regular kind. But a caretaker taking advantage of their charge, sure. I just believe if there is a charge, the charge is a criminal who stole from someone else.. and doesn't mind being taken advantage of as long as they get a cut. I wonder what favors Shaw owed to whom to get involved in this crap............. and how often he's done it before, with other types of windfalls.

Rabbitgod: I have a feeling some old foggie in an old foggie home won this thing, and has since been overly medicated while the orderly who stole his ticket tries to figure out how to get the money anonymously.
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Yeah, that's right up there in my list of probables.

But are the lottery dudes DEMANDING the dude on CCTV buying the ticket show up in person? Is that a farking rule now, is it?

I won $10 on a scratchie once [I think you Yanks call 'em scratch offs?]. Left it in my wallet for a week or so and tried to cash it in. The old Asian scumbag battleaxe slut frowned at it for 30 seconds and told me to fark off and claim the $10 from where I bought the ticket.

I was FARKING HOMICIDALLY ANGRY at her. I was half drunk at the time so I gave her an absolute earful of abuse.

Kind of regret it now. She's a local, so I see her around a bit.


_CBS?

ExperianScaresCthulhu: david_gaithersburg: The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?

Wat? Is that in the article? Why would that be outsourced to Belize in the first place?
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That's why I thought it was a troll post. But....... maybe an American company with a Belize head office flag of convenience?

Where did Iowa find $14mill for a lottery?

batcookie: Epiphany: Ok, can someone please explain to me the entirety of what the fark is going on here? Seriously. I read the news article but I am pretty drunk right now.

As far as what I can read, there was a lottery, and then all of a sudden 2 hours before the deadline someone from new york showed up to claim the prize, having a VALID farking ticket. the chances of that are monumentous!

So here is the deal, whoever offers me the best reason for why this happened, consipricay insane fark theories DO apply, I will buy a month of total fark for. this is not a joke, i have bought many farkers a month of total fark (although I despise it myself). The story that makes the most sense, while tied with the article, in my drunken brain, wins.

Okay, here's the real story, exactly how it happened:

It involves a guy named Nash who enlisted 'an unidentified friend' to "help in robbing an old man" -- who would be lured into a compromising situation by Nash's skanky, but pole-dancing worthy, wife (and her crack-head girlfriend).

The old man [the intended victim], an attorney and fired CEO of a scamming bank and investment firm, had come into possession of a winning lotto ticket that, since it was from Ohio (or Iowa), was HOT. It was worth more than $14 million.

The idea was to get the old man (the crooked, pedophilic lawyer) to cash in the winning ticket. The Bad guys (Nash, the unidentified friend, and the skanky pole-dancing wife) would then hold him hostage in a Jacuzzi and force him to write them a check for $9,999 every day for four years -- until all the money was gone.

They had forgotten that the account would be earning interest -- slightly more than 1% -- and would take more than 1,400 days. They needed a new plan . . . but time was running out. With mere hours before the deadline for cashing in they scrambled for a new plan.

They already had the Jacuzzi and the old guy had been stewing for about five days -- a new plan was desperately needed. They had the old guy contact another scam lawyer -- cuz they're all scam lawyers -- a lawyer whose fingers weren't all prune-y from five days in a hot tub and had him approach the lotto officials.

Meanwhile the guy in the Jacuzzi began to get woozy and would sometimes slip below the surface on the now soupy mess that filled the tub.

In a panic they inserted an electric radio up and into the rectum of the neighbor's cat and tossed it into the tub. They had no use for the crack-head girlfriend as she couldn't even make sammiches so she went to work in a crack house as a chair and sometimes as a footstool.

And that is exactly what happened. Oh, and the skanky, pole-dancing wife -- that once had breasts that would make men forgive her for just about anything but ended up with tits that looked like a pair of sweat socks with a lemon in each toe -- she went off to Belize.

The Aristocrats.

ILeskay: ExperianScaresCthulhu: david_gaithersburg: The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?

Wat? Is that in the article? Why would that be outsourced to Belize in the first place?
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That's why I thought it was a troll post. But....... maybe an American company with a Belize head office flag of convenience?

I'm not a trolling, or perhaps I misunderstand the definition of trolling. I'm offering a perfectly logical explanation as to how a person in Belize ends up with a valid ticket two hours before the deadline, and everything else that then followed. Go back and RTFA. I will now don my tinfoil hat and bid you good day.

david_gaithersburg: ILeskay: ExperianScaresCthulhu: david_gaithersburg: The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?

Wat? Is that in the article? Why would that be outsourced to Belize in the first place?
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That's why I thought it was a troll post. But....... maybe an American company with a Belize head office flag of convenience?

I'm not a trolling, or perhaps I misunderstand the definition of trolling. I'm offering a perfectly logical explanation as to how a person in Belize ends up with a valid ticket two hours before the deadline, and everything else that then followed. Go back and RTFA. I will now don my tinfoil hat and bid you good day.
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You're such an idiot I have to argue for you:

By explanation, you really mean theory?

You stated your theory as fact in your initial post. Correct?

Where does it talk about the software designer in the linked article?

Leskay: david_gaithersburg: ILeskay: ExperianScaresCthulhu: david_gaithersburg: The company that designed the security software that prints end encodes the tickets is also based in Belize. What at the odds of that?

Wat? Is that in the article? Why would that be outsourced to Belize in the first place?
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That's why I thought it was a troll post. But....... maybe an American company with a Belize head office flag of convenience?

I'm not a trolling, or perhaps I misunderstand the definition of trolling. I'm offering a perfectly logical explanation as to how a person in Belize ends up with a valid ticket two hours before the deadline, and everything else that then followed. Go back and RTFA. I will now don my tinfoil hat and bid you good day.
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You're such an idiot I have to argue for you:

By explanation, you really mean theory?

You stated your theory as fact in your initial post. Correct?

Where does it talk about the software designer in the linked article?
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Ok, I went back through all of my posts, I even did a Ctrl+F on the word "fact". Nope I'm not sharing your hallucinations.

Since when did conspiracies begin to involve facts, and you are here calling other people idiots. Good lord man, this is Fark.

And did I not say GOOD DAY!?!

P.S. - Please stop arguing for me, I am quite capable of arguing on my own behalf.

If he needs someone to cash it, I am available.

Codenamechaz: Honestly, I don't blame him. As much as I'd love a million bucks right now from a lotto win, it'd only cause me more problems than it would solve.

Well, to be fair, since under the current tax structure you have to pay more taxes the more money you make, if he took home $14.3 million then he'd have to pay $50 million in taxes, so there's no point in trying.

smadge1: Where did Iowa find $14mill for a lottery?

They sold $30 million worth of lottery tickets...

smadge1: Where did Iowa find $14mill for a lottery?

From the people who spent $15-20 million on tickets until that jackpot was won.

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: smadge1: Where did Iowa find $14mill for a lottery?

From the people who spent $15-20 million on tickets until that jackpot was won.

So, it's like a tax for stupid people.

smadge1: Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: smadge1: Where did Iowa find $14mill for a lottery?

From the people who spent $15-20 million on tickets until that jackpot was won.

So, it's like a tax for stupid people.

Bingo