Haha. I would get shiat for free from the lobby of the dorm. And I'm a tall male. She needs to work on her form.

Amherst. Figures.

fta Nelson says that the school's custodian, who previously had worked for a vending machine company, assisted firefighters in getting the machine open.

I think all janitors have a little MacGyver dna in them.

I wish I could find the picture with Homer reaching through the machine, past the skeletal arm holding the can of Fresca...

Ah the good old days when you could get a free soda just by tipping a 500+ pound vending machine to make the soda drop out. Maybe it was Harvard students being crushed by tipped vending machines but we never lost one student at my school!

Unfortunately, it was later discovered that while the firefighters were rescuing the girl, a lumber yard burned down.

cyberspacedout: Unfortunately, it was later discovered that while the firefighters were rescuing the girl, a lumber yard burned down.

Doh! Lumber has a million uses.

No need to call the fire dept. A liberal application of lard and a lot of squirming will always pop them free.

Teslacle's Deviant to Fudd's Law.

"Nelson added that the girl was able to get her bottle of water."

Nelson added that the girl was able to get her bottle of water.

And, really, that's all that matters.

About what I expect for people who pay for bottled water

FTFA "the girl had purchased a bottle of water from a vending"

Bullshiat. If it's one of those new-we Coca-cola machines with the conveyer belt, then you can reach your hand in there and grab a bottle from the first one or two slots.

Our high school quickly caught on to what was happening, and only stocked nasty juices near the opening.

Ed Finnerty: This was actually less embarrassing than her ill-fated attempt at fisting.

Well... that was out of left field. heh

Sarah Palin's Conscience: FTFA "the girl had purchased a bottle of water from a vending"

Bullshiat. If it's one of those new-we Coca-cola machines with the conveyer belt, then you can reach your hand in there and grab a bottle from the first one or two slots.

Our high school quickly caught on to what was happening, and only stocked nasty juices near the opening.

It was more hilarious to hit the debugs on the machine and make everything free. The school filled that machine up five or six times before they caught on and the company changed the codes. We got away with it another few times by watching the guy when he filled it, but they started filling it after school hours eventually.

I can pick a damn good lock, but I have no idea how to defeat those cylindrical locks behind the padlocks without just destroying them, so we eventually lost the war of free soda. But we fought the good fight while we could, and that's what matters.

When I was around 12 or 13, some friends and I would squirt water into the coin slot on the soda machine in our apartment complex. Sodas and quarters would soon follow. Much easier.

/csb

I am Sancho: When I was around 12 or 13, some friends and I would squirt water into the coin slot on the soda machine in our apartment complex. Sodas and quarters would soon follow. Much easier.

/csb

When I was in college I sliced dry ice to cheat vending machines. Also, some guy lived in my closet. The 80's were farking crazy.

Pffft. Amateurs

katerbug72: I remember when I was a wretched child and running amok with my cousins, we used to reach our skinny little arms up the pop machines and open the cans.

*guffaw*

JonnyBlack: Sarah Palin's Conscience: FTFA "the girl had purchased a bottle of water from a vending"

Bullshiat. If it's one of those new-we Coca-cola machines with the conveyer belt, then you can reach your hand in there and grab a bottle from the first one or two slots.

Our high school quickly caught on to what was happening, and only stocked nasty juices near the opening.

It was more hilarious to hit the debugs on the machine and make everything free. The school filled that machine up five or six times before they caught on and the company changed the codes. We got away with it another few times by watching the guy when he filled it, but they started filling it after school hours eventually.

I can pick a damn good lock, but I have no idea how to defeat those cylindrical locks behind the padlocks without just destroying them, so we eventually lost the war of free soda. But we fought the good fight while we could, and that's what matters.

Take a Bic pen. Remove the aft end and pop out the point and ink tube through the other end. Make 4 shallow perpendicular slots in the aft end. Push the aft end into the cylindrical key slot. Press with all your might and apply torque. It may be necessary to slightly decrease the amount of pressure applied.

Basically, it's the same procedure as those old PC locks or Kryptonite bike U-locks.

If the pen doesn't work try a toilet paper tube that has been wrapped around a pen to form a circular tube of the approximately correct proportions.

Something about Custodian and 13 year old girl gave me the willies.

Insult Comic Bishounen: I wish I could find the picture with Homer reaching through the machine, past the skeletal arm holding the can of Fresca...

where's my fresca!?

+1 subby

this is why I love fark, even a single obscure line from a 15 year old tv episode is not obscure here.

seeing as how the man's name was nelson, came looking for the nelsonhaha.jpg. leaving satisfied.

Shostie: Nelson added that the girl was able to get her bottle of water.

Heh HA HA.

FTFY

Insult Comic Bishounen

Here you go, freshly made.

illbeinmybunk: +1 subby

this is why I love fark, even a single obscure line from a 15 year old tv episode is not obscure here.

seeing as how the man's name was nelson, came looking for the nelsonhaha.jpg. leaving satisfied.

Nothing about heyday Simpsons is obscure.

CS#1: When I was around 13 shilling subscriptions for the Daily Oklahoman at various apt complexes, I would often quench my thirst by reaching my skinny arms up into vending machines and grabbing 5 or 6 beverages. I'm probably the reason 12 oz cans are 75 cents now.

CS#2: The pop machine on the inside part of our complex's pool went crazy from the heat & humidity one day and started spitting out all its change. Only the kids were around. Many lulz and change-bought snacks were had.

moothemagiccow: About what I expect for people who pay for bottled water

Some of the schools my son went to in Oregon put the vending machine in front (Blocking) the water fountain. No choice.

// In Canada now, not an issue
/ yea we put water in his bag, and no "lunch money"
// corporate sponsoring should stay away from school
/ or maybe not - so the rest of the world can keep invoicing american children

falkone32: Insult Comic Bishounen

Here you go, freshly made.

[img823.imageshack.us image 343x257]

Thank you for your cooperation.

This WAS a vending machine at my job.
This is not from any earthquake, this is from someone's drink getting stuck in the corner, then a bunch of farking idiots that kept ordering drinks above it in hopes to knock down the stuck drink, then some asshole shook the machine, knocking down a bunch of other drinks. And as you can see, the drink was still stuck.

/asshole that shook said machine, btw, was escorted out the building
//congrats on getting fired over a farking soda

cousndick: [fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 528x720]

This WAS a vending machine at my job.
This is not from any earthquake, this is from someone's drink getting stuck in the corner, then a bunch of farking idiots that kept ordering drinks above it in hopes to knock down the stuck drink, then some asshole shook the machine, knocking down a bunch of other drinks. And as you can see, the drink was still stuck.

/asshole that shook said machine, btw, was escorted out the building
//congrats on getting fired over a farking soda

Got fired for trying to fix an equipment problem? Some worthless exec not able to buy his favorite flavor of drink from his favorite source at his favorite time of day? Those who did the sacking should've been sacked.

nytmare: cousndick: [fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 528x720]

This WAS a vending machine at my job.
This is not from any earthquake, this is from someone's drink getting stuck in the corner, then a bunch of farking idiots that kept ordering drinks above it in hopes to knock down the stuck drink, then some asshole shook the machine, knocking down a bunch of other drinks. And as you can see, the drink was still stuck.

/asshole that shook said machine, btw, was escorted out the building
//congrats on getting fired over a farking soda

Got fired for trying to fix an equipment problem? Some worthless exec not able to buy his favorite flavor of drink from his favorite source at his favorite time of day? Those who did the sacking should've been sacked.

Yeah, what kind of a shiathole do you work in?

nytmare: cousndick: [fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net image 528x720]

This WAS a vending machine at my job.
This is not from any earthquake, this is from someone's drink getting stuck in the corner, then a bunch of farking idiots that kept ordering drinks above it in hopes to knock down the stuck drink, then some asshole shook the machine, knocking down a bunch of other drinks. And as you can see, the drink was still stuck.

/asshole that shook said machine, btw, was escorted out the building
//congrats on getting fired over a farking soda

Got fired for trying to fix an equipment problem? Some worthless exec not able to buy his favorite flavor of drink from his favorite source at his favorite time of day? Those who did the sacking should've been sacked.

This was not the first time drinks had gotten stuck in that machine. It had been going on for months. What got that employee fired was another employee a few months prior, that had succeeded in tipping the machine over. Because of that employee, shaking the machine was now a safety hazard.
Management posted signs all over the machine (except for on front on the glass as you can see there) and in the break room telling employees,

"Don't shake the machines. If your snack or drink is stuck, go to the receptionists' desk and they will give you a refund. If they're gone for the day, go to a supervisor for a refund, because a supervisor is always on the floor."

Plus there was about 6 of that same type of machine in our building, and this was the only one that had problems that people kept farking with cuz they knew they could score free drinks! That asshole knew what he was doing, what you don't see in this pic is one of them signs lying on the floor that was ripped off the side of the machine while the guy was trying to get a good grip on it to shake it.

really? they need to sell bottled water from a vending machine in a school?

back in my day we had to make do with a bubbler, or even a chilled bubbler (if it was working)

Vending machines are a big part of my life. I like when you reach into the vending machine to grab your candy bar and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up. That's a good invention. Before then it was hard times for the vending machine owners, "What candy bar are you getting?", "That one... and every one on the bottom row!"

smadge1: really? they need to sell bottled water from a vending machine in a school?

back in my day we had to make do with a bubbler, or even a chilled bubbler (if it was working)

I would have sworn you were a fellow Wisconsinite, but then I saw your profile. Do Aussies call a water fountain a bubbler as well?

This happened on "That 70's Show" with Kelso's stash.

...and on "Scrubs" when Turk got his hand stuck in a vending machine. Coincidentally, both shows have a character with the last name Kelso....Weird, huh?

TheFlyingGoat: smadge1: really? they need to sell bottled water from a vending machine in a school?

back in my day we had to make do with a bubbler, or even a chilled bubbler (if it was working)

I would have sworn you were a fellow Wisconsinite, but then I saw your profile. Do Aussies call a water fountain a bubbler as well?

Yeah, we've always called them bubblers, dunno why, it's a good a name as anything.

It sucks when I want a snack at work and look in my wallet and only have 20s. Guess I can't have that bag of garlic pita chips.

/employeed people problems

cousndick:

This WAS a vending machine at my job.
This is not from any earthquake, this is from someone's drink getting stuck in the corner, then a bunch of farking idiots that kept ordering drinks above it in hopes to knock down the stuck drink, then some asshole shook the machine, knocking down a bunch of other drinks. And as you can see, the drink was still stuck.

/asshole that shook said machine, btw, was escorted out the building
//congrats on getting fired over a farking soda

CSB: I used to shake that kind of machine at my old workplace. Lots of free beverages, but I did it when no one else was in the cafeteria and threw them in my coat pockets. I keep my eyes open for those style of machines but when I find them they are usually in a crowded public area.