It has long been known that PhD comics did this better.

As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

Meh, the list is little too life sciencey / psychology for me.

Those guys have it tough though. They have to design an experiment, spend inordinate amount of time collecting the data crossing fingers that it will make sense when it gets to the analysis phase.

So many students I have seen put off the analysis and then have these hurried last minute please please stats program moments, don't let correlation be 0.2

Through individual interview of the subjects = We farked on a desk in ways previously thought impossible

Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

Suddenly, all the studies on global warming make sense.

LouDobbsAwaaaay: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

"...; however, an in-depth analysis of such a phenomenon is beyond the scope of this study."

Dammit, I've used that one.

Thais chart could actually be used to decipher half the posts on this, or any other internet forum thread.

chimp_ninja: Going by whose door I remember seeing this list posted on, this has been making the rounds since at least 1998.

1889

RogueVortex: Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?


"This study has uncovered evidence of a heretofore unknown force/phenomena/bacteria..."
"Our experiment touches upon an unexplored frontier of science..."
"I have discovered a blind spot in our understanding of..."
"The future development of [insert field here] will depend on the continued support of..."
"Only further research will reveal the conundrum presented by..."

/lawyer.
//I write BS for a living.

RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

It is hypothesized that the results are due to a interference at the subatomic level introducing an unknown quantity of entropy.

Civil Discourse: RogueVortex: Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?


"This study has uncovered evidence of a heretofore unknown force/phenomena/bacteria..."
"Our experiment touches upon an unexplored frontier of science..."
"I have discovered a blind spot in our understanding of..."
"The future development of [insert field here] will depend on the continued support of..."
"Only further research will reveal the conundrum presented by..."

/lawyer.
//I write BS for a living.

OgreMagi: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

It is hypothesized that the results are due to a interference at the subatomic level introducing an unknown quantity of entropy.

All viable. Not sure how I'm going to work them in.

/Damn sure gonna try now.

RogueVortex: Civil Discourse: RogueVortex: Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?


"This study has uncovered evidence of a heretofore unknown force/phenomena/bacteria..."
"Our experiment touches upon an unexplored frontier of science..."
"I have discovered a blind spot in our understanding of..."
"The future development of [insert field here] will depend on the continued support of..."
"Only further research will reveal the conundrum presented by..."

/lawyer.
//I write BS for a living.

OgreMagi: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

It is hypothesized that the results are due to a interference at the subatomic level introducing an unknown quantity of entropy.

All viable. Not sure how I'm going to work them in.

/Damn sure gonna try now.

Make it a goal to work them all into a single paper.

Talon: RogueVortex: Civil Discourse: RogueVortex: Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?


"This study has uncovered evidence of a heretofore unknown force/phenomena/bacteria..."
"Our experiment touches upon an unexplored frontier of science..."
"I have discovered a blind spot in our understanding of..."
"The future development of [insert field here] will depend on the continued support of..."
"Only further research will reveal the conundrum presented by..."

/lawyer.
//I write BS for a living.

OgreMagi: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

It is hypothesized that the results are due to a interference at the subatomic level introducing an unknown quantity of entropy.

All viable. Not sure how I'm going to work them in.

/Damn sure gonna try now.

Make it a goal to work them all into a single paper.

That would be awesome. My boss wants me to publish 2 more papers before he'll let me go.

Maybe I can work those into my dissertation first chapter. No one actually knows what the compound I've been working on making actually targets biologically, so its probably doable.

RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

A miracle occurred.

RogueVortex: Maybe I can work those into my dissertation first chapter. No one actually knows what the compound I've been working on making actually targets biologically, so its probably doable.

æther channels.

Wow. I read this first time when I was like 12. Great job on keeping us up to date modmins.

RogueVortex:

Talon: RogueVortex: Civil Discourse: RogueVortex: Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?


"This study has uncovered evidence of a heretofore unknown force/phenomena/bacteria..."
"Our experiment touches upon an unexplored frontier of science..."
"I have discovered a blind spot in our understanding of..."
"The future development of [insert field here] will depend on the continued support of..."
"Only further research will reveal the conundrum presented by..."

/lawyer.
//I write BS for a living.

OgreMagi: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

It is hypothesized that the results are due to a interference at the subatomic level introducing an unknown quantity of entropy.

All viable. Not sure how I'm going to work them in.

/Damn sure gonna try now.

Make it a goal to work them all into a single paper.

That would be awesome. My boss wants me to publish 2 more papers before he'll let me go.

Maybe I can work those into my dissertation first chapter. No one actually knows what the compound I've been working on making actually targets biologically, so its probably doable.

See if you can work in a reference to Cole's law while you're at it.

"What's Cole's law?"

"Shredded cabbage and mayonnaise, but that's not important just now."

Science Farktion: LouDobbsAwaaaay: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

"...; however, an in-depth analysis of such a phenomenon is beyond the scope of this study."

Dammit, I've used that one.

I think Daniel Keyes used that one in Flowers for Algernon.

I usually make a point to use "desalniettemin" at least once a paper. Or the English: "nevertheless" which is a pretty good translation. If you have to use obtuse and unreadable writing standards you might as well have some fun with the words you use. Archaic/little used words ftw.

"We did not find a significant interaction between A and B, nevertheless it should be noted that this does not mean that B is not important in explaining C"

/making science popular could be as easy as producing readable papers
//stop making me reference theories and other crap a first year student would know
///And stop placing references in the text. "Socioemotional Selectivity Theory explains X^{1, 2, 3, 4}" is preferable over "Socioemotional Selectivity Theory explains X (A, 1986; B and C, 2002; D, E and F, 1998; G, 2010)"
//If you don't know what I'm talking about, I might just be writing for people who aren't you
/Such as the person actually grading my thesis

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

Despite logical arguments otherwise, we have found that (topic of research) are not drivers for XXX.
Data proved to be intractable

I used the sentence:
The most exciting phrase in research is not "Eureka! I've found it!" but "Huh, that's kind of odd".
in my thesis.

"X is beyond the scope of this paper" - yeah I just added that one in order to satisfy Dipshiat Reviewer C who wanted to reject the paper because I hadn't done a comprehensive parameter study of Y using model Z (dismissing the very good model I did use out of ignorance).

Hmmm... what are the chances that Reviewer C produced model Z and was looking for more citations?

HighZoolander: Talon: RogueVortex: Civil Discourse: RogueVortex: Talon: As someone who has read scientific literature... I LOL'd. Very nice find subby.

As someone who writes scientific literature, I found myself wondering how many I had actually used.

The two I actually used in my last paper was "scant precedent was found.." meaning "We ain't found shiat" followed by "We postulate ..." to mean "I'm guessing this is what happens because my data doesn't make sense otherwise."

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?


"This study has uncovered evidence of a heretofore unknown force/phenomena/bacteria..."
"Our experiment touches upon an unexplored frontier of science..."
"I have discovered a blind spot in our understanding of..."
"The future development of [insert field here] will depend on the continued support of..."
"Only further research will reveal the conundrum presented by..."

/lawyer.
//I write BS for a living.

OgreMagi: RogueVortex: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

It is hypothesized that the results are due to a interference at the subatomic level introducing an unknown quantity of entropy.

All viable. Not sure how I'm going to work them in.

/Damn sure gonna try now.

Make it a goal to work them all into a single paper.

An academic star would find a way to work them into a single paragraph.

/a full professor could probably fit it all into the abstract

I think I have seen versions of all of those in grant proposals, sometimes all in the same one. I probably have used at least one of those in a proposal.

In a paper the one reviewer who actually reads it, out of maybe 3, would call you on it.

Say what you mean.



/intelligent material...straight-forward and simple...easy

I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

The underlying mechanism is not well understood.

I'm getting ready to submit my first paper for review and we use several of those phrases.

chimp_ninja: Going by whose door I remember seeing this list posted on, this has been making the rounds since at least 1998.

Supposedly the list was originally published in the journal Metal Progress, back in 1957. Here's (new window) a more complete list.

...accidentally strained during mounting.
-dropped on the floor.

Antz: Supposedly the list was originally published in the journal Metal Progress, back in 1957. Here's (new window) a more complete list.


Metal Progress would be a good name for a rock band.

"However, the phenotype observed may be multifactorial and alternative mechanisms remain to be elucidated."

mathmancometh: I sort of want a new way to say "Hell if I know why this happens." But I haven't come up with a good way yet. Any suggestions from the fark community?

The underlying mechanism is not well understood.

Nope, used that one in the recent publication. Exact phrasing.

Ishkur: RogueVortex: Maybe I can work those into my dissertation first chapter. No one actually knows what the compound I've been working on making actually targets biologically, so its probably doable.

Work in some Star Trek tech babble too..... to see if anyone notices.

"....and so, by repolarizing the phase inducers to increase bacterial efficiency by 23%, we can hypothesize that the emitter array should be enough to contain the dilithium matrix....."

Not sure I ever watched Star Trek enough to actually do that. Spaceballs and Star wars, yes.

It is always tempting to speculate ...

and:

"Further work is needed ..." = "Please keep funding my grants"

b0rscht: "X is beyond the scope of this paper" - yeah I just added that one in order to satisfy Dipshiat Reviewer C who wanted to reject the paper because I hadn't done a comprehensive parameter study of Y using model Z (dismissing the very good model I did use out of ignorance). The paper was invited from an abstract presented at a conference - we had 3 months to turn it into a full paper, so yeah, it's only the beginning of things. So I eloquently told Reivewer C to shove it up his ass. Thankfully the editor seems to be on our side, and only signaled 'minor revisions'.

So some of that shiatty language shows up due to trying to satisfy asshole reviewers.

Just had a paper accepted with two glowingly positive reviewers who basically accepted the paper as written (asking only minor textual revisions), and as asshat Reviewer 3 who seemed determined to kill the paper, demanding ridiculously labor-intensive additional experiments.

During the 2nd revision, this reviewer demanded experiments that would have taken an additional year of work, at least, as "imperative." To add to a piece of work that is already very complete and thorough. We assume that the reviewer runs a competiting lab and is just trying to delay our publication. Luckily, the Editor sided with us the last time, overruling the most ridiculous of the reviewers demands.

It's always the third goddamn reviewer that screws us over! (new window)

Doc Daneeka: b0rscht: "X is beyond the scope of this paper" - yeah I just added that one in order to satisfy Dipshiat Reviewer C who wanted to reject the paper because I hadn't done a comprehensive parameter study of Y using model Z (dismissing the very good model I did use out of ignorance). The paper was invited from an abstract presented at a conference - we had 3 months to turn it into a full paper, so yeah, it's only the beginning of things. So I eloquently told Reivewer C to shove it up his ass. Thankfully the editor seems to be on our side, and only signaled 'minor revisions'.

So some of that shiatty language shows up due to trying to satisfy asshole reviewers.

Just had a paper accepted with two glowingly positive reviewers who basically accepted the paper as written (asking only minor textual revisions), and as asshat Reviewer 3 who seemed determined to kill the paper, demanding ridiculously labor-intensive additional experiments.

During the 2nd revision, this reviewer demanded experiments that would have taken an additional year of work, at least, as "imperative." To add to a piece of work that is already very complete and thorough. We assume that the reviewer runs a competiting lab and is just trying to delay our publication. Luckily, the Editor sided with us the last time, overruling the most ridiculous of the reviewers demands.

Luckily a lot of times the editor will be reasonable especially if it is obvious you just scooped one of the reviews.

/csb - Lab I worked in got the reviews from a paper back, I was not involved in the work. Two reviews had some minor revisions, nothing out of the ordinary. The third reviewer had a 20 some odd page tome. The editor basically said to ignore it and the paper was published based on the two other reviewers.