fluffy2097: that last one, damn. I'm going commando the next time I fly. "Sure officer dropout, I'll drop trow so you can frisk me. IF YOU WANT TO LOOK AT MY DICK! COME ON! STARE AT IT! STARE AT MY DICK YOU GOVERNMENT PATSY! It's what you wanted! Isn't it! That's why you joined the TSA, because you're a homosexual in denial and you want to spend all day looking at COCK! Well here it is, your dream come true. You ordered me to expose myself and I'm doing it!"

I'm like Chuck Norris, when I pull down my pants all you see is ANOTHER FIST!

AntiNorm: Bacontastesgood: It isn't meant to penetrate your body even, that would defeat the purpose unless you swallowed a gun.

It's meant to be concentrated near the surface of your skin. If you enjoy being exposed to concentrated doses of electromagnetic radiation (ionizing, too, if it's one of the backscatter machines and not one of the MMW ones), feel free to go through the machine. I won't.

The machines are leaky as well, and cancer rates for TSA are up.

The only thing the TSA is any good at is stealing from people's luggage.

I make round trip flights to client sites about twice a month. I'm a certified road warrior. Honestly, the TSA screening is more of an annoyance than anything. It's a little more annoying when I go through a place like Denver that has the new scanners. Those things are very slow and delay getting through security quite a bit. Otherwise it really doesn't bother me. Take off shoes, belt, phone. Walk into machine, raise hands above head and wait a moment. Then put your shoes, belt and phone back on. Really it isn't that big of a deal.

Yes, I get angry when I hear stories about a TSA screener that did not use good judgement and groped someone or did something generally stupid. When you consider that well over a million and a half people fly in the US every day it shouldn't be a surprise that somebody farks up sometimes. Having said that, In all the countless times I've been through security, I've never witnessed anything out of the ordinary. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen but the way some people talk you would think that TSA anal rapings are mandatory. I can think of many different things that the government has done that infuriates me. This isn't one of them.

liverleef: Take off shoes, belt, phone. Walk into machine, raise hands above head and wait a moment. Then put your shoes, belt and phone back on. Really it isn't that big of a deal.

That's all well and good if the machines are as safe as they say. I personally don't know, but there appears to be some question about it.
I'd prefer not to fly, but if I had no option and was selected for Freedom Screening, I'd opt for the grope rather than the irradiation. At least with the grope, I'm more confident that I know exactly what the risks are. (I'd also make them put on fresh gloves before groping me)

I always make sure to chub up a bit when I'm in line to give the people watching the screen a good show.

This thread is like a new breed of Internet Tough Guy.... the Airport Security Rebel

Happy Hours: The "guy in the orange vest" wasn't paying attention so I just went on to my gate.

jshine: I always opt for the Freedom Grope rather than the irradiation -- and always in public view.

Ivo Shandor: Eventually someone led me out and swabbed my hands for explosive residue or something. Meanwhile the line of bins coming out of the X-ray machine reached the end of the conveyor and overflowed, dumping a couple of laptops onto the ground. The agent picked up one of them, a Macbook Air, and asked if it was mine. I said no of course, but the actual owner was off somewhere else getting his own personal Freedom Fondle so I probably could have just walked away with it.

Cool story

boomm: jshine: I always opt for the Freedom Grope rather than the irradiation -- and always in public view.

fluffy2097: I'm going commando the next time I fly. "Sure officer dropout, I'll drop trow so you can frisk me. IF YOU WANT TO LOOK AT MY DICK! COME ON! STARE AT IT! STARE AT MY DICK YOU GOVERNMENT PATSY! It's what you wanted! Isn't it! That's why you joined the TSA, because you're a homosexual in denial and you want to spend all day looking at COCK! Well here it is, your dream come true. You ordered me to expose myself and I'm doing it!"

AntiNorm: If you enjoy being exposed to concentrated doses of electromagnetic radiation (ionizing, too, if it's one of the backscatter machines and not one of the MMW ones), feel free to go through the machine. I won't.

jutm543: I always make sure to chub up a bit when I'm in line to give the people watching the screen a good show.

missed this one whilst typing the previous.... good stuff

Raptop: jutm543: I always make sure to chub up a bit when I'm in line to give the people watching the screen a good show.

missed this one whilst typing the previous.... good stuff

I just don't want them laughing at my penis. =/

RedVentrue: Happy Hours: ArrogantGod: Insulin pumps look like cell phones btw

Cell phones look like guns to cops.

This is true.

Two things.

1) Yes, it does look like a cel phone, and NOTHING like a gun.



2) TSA are NOT the cops. Always remember that.

Well I don't have my liberties, but hey at least I'm safe!!
Thank goodness!!

RedVentrue: AntiNorm: Bacontastesgood: It isn't meant to penetrate your body even, that would defeat the purpose unless you swallowed a gun.

It's meant to be concentrated near the surface of your skin. If you enjoy being exposed to concentrated doses of electromagnetic radiation (ionizing, too, if it's one of the backscatter machines and not one of the MMW ones), feel free to go through the machine. I won't.

The machines are leaky as well, and cancer rates for TSA are up.

The thing you LILY LIVERED LIBRULS don't understand is that this is to PROTECT the FREEDOMS the GOVERNMENT lets you HAVE. GOD BLESS GEORGE BUSH AND AMERICA!

hang on a minute, it ain't 2007 anymore...lemme see...

It's OUTRAGEOUS that OBAMA and his ACORN THUGS get to FEEL PEOPLE UP! Don't you LILY LIVERED LIBRULS care about FREEDOMS?

i fly round trip almost every week--some weeks i actually fly more---i fly out of an airport that for some reason they put all the new latest and greatest detectors in. i always opt out--i dont want to get any additional radiation at all---and nobody has convinced me that there is or is not any more radiation--but why take the chance.

at the same time, when tsa gets done, they have nicely tucked my shirt in front and back, straightened my jeans out, taken all of the wrinkles out, and given me a foot massage.

you cannot beat the price for that kind of service.

Raptop: This thread is like a new breed of Internet Tough Guy.... the Airport Security Rebel

The musings of an Internet Taxonomist.

/At least try to name it after the discoverer
//The "red-breasted rebellious rapey Raptopcites"

boomm: jshine: I always opt for the Freedom Grope rather than the irradiation -- and always in public view. If we're going to have a police-state, it's a Good Thing that it not become too sanitized. The spectacle of people being physically searched for no reason is at least a small reminder of how bad things have become.


I've declined every time. Once I was given the TSA Huddle of Intimidation®. Only twice have I been asked why. I've always just claimed I want to avoid the radiation.

The last time I was thinking a bit too loudly when I said, "I'm more sure I can get over someone touching me than I'm convinced the radiation is harmless."

I always loudly proclaim "I refuse to go into your cancer box."

I thought about asking "Is it okay if I maintain my erection?" during the pat down, but always chicken out.

Next time I fly, I'm bringing an aluminum-foill-covered, pp-shaped, papertowel tube in my bag. Maybe a couple of them, arranged to spell "F U TSA".

Can I be penalized for the toys that I bring in my bag?

LessO2: I feel safer...

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Two by two,

hands of blue!

boomm: jshine: I always opt for the Freedom Grope rather than the irradiation -- and always in public view. If we're going to have a police-state, it's a Good Thing that it not become too sanitized. The spectacle of people being physically searched for no reason is at least a small reminder of how bad things have become.


I've declined every time. Once I was given the TSA Huddle of Intimidation®. Only twice have I been asked why. I've always just claimed I want to avoid the radiation.

The last time I was thinking a bit too loudly when I said, "I'm more sure I can get over someone touching me than I'm convinced the radiation is harmless."

The truth is that it's a lot easier to say "can you please use a new set of gloves because i don't want to get crabs from that person there" than "i'm not really all that sure that you have any idea when that quasi-medical device was last calibrated by someone competent"

I wear an insulin pump. I have only have had it checked once. It was right after I had surgery on my sack (vasectomy gone bad - nothing like a blood clot the size of an orange - TMI). The TSA guy was about to violate me and I told him I just had surgery on my nuts. He gave me 'the look' and I told him I just had a blood clot removed from my right nut. He had the 'sorry bro' look and just tapped my knee and let me go. If I am ever going to take a plane down, I will remember to tell the dude I had sack surgery, they to have a human side to them after all.

/not so CSB

grimlock1972: Morons R Us strikes again. they should not let them work in an airport until they have had 100 hours of training and pass a tough competency exam. disband the TSA.

Seriously these people are supposed to be protecting us and they seem to screw up regularly, I realize some mistake will happen but many can be prevented. should all be put up against a wall.

FTFY

jshine: I always opt for the Freedom Grope rather than the irradiation -- and always in public view. If we're going to have a police-state, it's a Good Thing that it not become too sanitized. The spectacle of people being physically searched for no reason is at least a small reminder of how bad things have become.

The fact that you let law enforcement agents search you without probable cause or a search warrant is a small reminder of how bad things have become.

The only thing worse that the TSA is the millions of people who submit to being searched. If everybody refused, the TSA would collapse. Fark all of you... I hope you get the anal probe.

RedVentrue: An insulin punp looks nothing like a gun.

Im a diabetic and on a device line that it would kinda resemble a gun because the cap that connects the tubing would look like a very short barrel. Of course the TSA agent would have to be an idiot and think it was like the smallest gun ever made. One in paeticular i know is shaped similar is the Deltec Cosmo, i used to have one

Ok, this is now the second story this month where a passenger with a "gun" calmly walks away with it from the checkpoint and boards the flight.

What, does someone need to invent a machine that detains passengers and only costs 2 million a piece?

fluffy2097:
that last one, damn. I'm going commando the next time I fly. "Sure officer dropout, I'll drop trow so you can frisk me. IF YOU WANT TO LOOK AT MY DICK! COME ON! STARE AT IT! STARE AT MY DICK YOU GOVERNMENT PATSY! It's what you wanted! Isn't it! That's why you joined the TSA, because you're a homosexual in denial and you want to spend all day looking at COCK! Well here it is, your dream come true. You ordered me to expose myself and I'm doing it!"

if you hit the lottery you could fly to a different event weekly, outing TSA closeteers along the way. quickly you would the necessary provoking down pat, insuring a kill with every flight. people would write songs about you and sing them off-key on YT.

liverleef: I make round trip flights to client sites about twice a month. I'm a certified road warrior. Honestly, the TSA screening is more of an annoyance than anything. It's a little more annoying when I go through a place like Denver that has the new scanners. Those things are very slow and delay getting through security quite a bit. Otherwise it really doesn't bother me. Take off shoes, belt, phone. Walk into machine, raise hands above head and wait a moment. Then put your shoes, belt and phone back on. Really it isn't that big of a deal.

Yes, I get angry when I hear stories about a TSA screener that did not use good judgement and groped someone or did something generally stupid. When you consider that well over a million and a half people fly in the US every day it shouldn't be a surprise that somebody farks up sometimes. Having said that, In all the countless times I've been through security, I've never witnessed anything out of the ordinary. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen but the way some people talk you would think that TSA anal rapings are mandatory. I can think of many different things that the government has done that infuriates me. This isn't one of them.

It's because you suck at life.

/road warrior

liverleef: I make round trip flights to client sites about twice a month. I'm a certified road warrior. Honestly, the TSA screening is more of an annoyance than anything. It's a little more annoying when I go through a place like Denver that has the new scanners. Those things are very slow and delay getting through security quite a bit. Otherwise it really doesn't bother me. Take off shoes, belt, phone. Walk into machine, raise hands above head and wait a moment. Then put your shoes, belt and phone back on. Really it isn't that big of a deal.

Yes, I get angry when I hear stories about a TSA screener that did not use good judgement and groped someone or did something generally stupid. When you consider that well over a million and a half people fly in the US every day it shouldn't be a surprise that somebody farks up sometimes. Having said that, In all the countless times I've been through security, I've never witnessed anything out of the ordinary. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen but the way some people talk you would think that TSA anal rapings are mandatory. I can think of many different things that the government has done that infuriates me. This isn't one of them.

Yeah? How's the medical safety of those non-tested scanners (not just medically) working out for ya? Get cancer yet?

erewhon: But the real question is - was there more than 3 ounces of fluid inside the pump? If so, she'd need to remove it and put it in the bin.

No - there was not. A typical pump only holds a few ml. Far less than one oz.

/also, insulin is not explosive

FizixJunkee: dudemanbro: DeRosso: I'm impressed they didn't shoot her.

I was surprised she didn't get tased, and/or tackled and beaten senseless.


Or detained for several hours without a meal or snack...

We have snacks available for purchase, will that be cash or credit card?

"But before screeners could search her, she walked away toward the boarding gates. "

Wow, that security really was LAX.....

/makes me laugh every time I see people wearing "LAX SECURITY" badges..... You should probably tighten it up then, eh?

patentguy: erewhon: But the real question is - was there more than 3 ounces of fluid inside the pump? If so, she'd need to remove it and put it in the bin.

No - there was not. A typical pump only holds a few ml. Far less than one oz.

/also, insulin is not explosive

How do WE know? Maybe it's a clever ruse!

Gyrfalcon: Look, if it wasn't for them there might be all kinds of terrorists from Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Indonesia, Australia, look, someplace, trying to blow us up with something or other. I'm sure they're doing a really good job protecting us from something. Somehow. And anyway, terrorism.

I have a question.
Have the TSA EVER caught ANY ONE who was actually going to hijack or blow up any plane?
If they have I have NEVER heard of it.

wolfjc: =
I have a question.
Have the TSA EVER caught ANY ONE who was actually going to hijack or blow up any plane?
If they have I have NEVER heard of it.

Highly doubt it, for just that reason. Given the hate everybody has for the TSA, if they did one thing right, they wouldn't shut up about it for months.

Freedom isn't free! It costs some of your liberties.

The Southern Dandy: Freedom isn't free! It costs some of your liberties.

No matter how many freedoms are sacrificed on the alter of fighting terrorists, we will still have terrorism - but we will not have liberty.
-- adapted

boomm: Raptop: This thread is like a new breed of Internet Tough Guy.... the Airport Security Rebel

The musings of an Internet Taxonomist.

/At least try to name it after the discoverer
//The "red-breasted rebellious rapey Raptopcites"

Oh Snap! I just got myself taxonomized by my own taxonometric taxonomachinations

Honestly, I don't care to coin a new word, I'm pointing it out that because I've never seen anyone do or say anything anywhere close to what is being described in this and every other TSA thread, not mention run on sentences.

The Southern Dandy: Freedom isn't free! It costs some of your liberties.

And occasionally some expensive electronic items.

/thieves