FARK.com: (6906667) According to scientists, some women can store sperm for years. Your mom finds that a little hard to swallow

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		According to scientists, some women can store sperm for years. Your mom finds that a little hard to swallow (huffingtonpost.com)		102
		More: Spiffy, natural world, reproductive systems, University of Sheffield

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16377 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2012 at 8:24 PM | Favorite | share:

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102 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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Bathia_Mapes

2012-01-27 05:08:15 PM

"Females", submitter, not women.

Lone Stranger

2012-01-27 05:30:47 PM

Subbys Mom has to swallow sometime so I know this is not entirely true.

miss diminutive

2012-01-27 05:41:57 PM

For some reason I pictured a cold storage room filled with mason jars containing sperm and labeled with dates of ejaculation.

Mr. Fuzzypaws

2012-01-27 05:58:19 PM

River otters do too.

img651.imageshack.us

Fark Me To Tears

2012-01-27 06:41:35 PM

According to scientists, some women can store sperm for years.

Oh... crap!

antidisestablishmentarianism

2012-01-27 07:05:00 PM

Early nomination for headline of the year!

Marcus Aurelius

2012-01-27 07:48:21 PM

I prefer females that shower daily, and thus require a fresh injection.

/the mammals are my favorite type

ultraholland

2012-01-27 08:26:03 PM

So long, Christianity.

Marley'sGirl

2012-01-27 08:29:07 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: River otters do too.

[img651.imageshack.us image 640x479]

The otter community frowns upon your shenanigans.

maniac64

2012-01-27 08:29:30 PM

I'm not saying that this is the best headline ever, but it's the best headline ever.

AverageAmericanGuy

2012-01-27 08:30:27 PM

I'm surprised sperm can live that long without being put into cold storage.

That little flagellum is powered by the tiny amount chemical "food" it starts out with. I guess they just stop kicking after a while and drift around those fallopians until they are either peed out or killed by the environment.

Which brings us back to keeping those buggers for 8 years. It's pretty amazing that they can remain alive and viable for 8 years.

Jon H

2012-01-27 08:30:36 PM

What else is in there?

/shudder

tricycleracer

2012-01-27 08:32:56 PM

Bathia_Mapes: "Females", submitter, not women.

THANK GOD.

libranoelrose

2012-01-27 08:33:53 PM

Wait a minute.

Since when can an ant live 30 years?

Julie Cochrane

2012-01-27 08:34:08 PM

"...females could be manipulating sperm..."

Oh, great, one more thing to get blamed for.

/ :-)

Slartibartfaster

2012-01-27 08:34:12 PM

Bathia_Mapes: "Females", submitter, not women.

Yeah, QUIT using funny, deliberately ambiguous, enticing headlines to mock real news stories !!

// wait - golf clap !!!
/ freaked me out

Mitch Taylor's Bro

2012-01-27 08:35:20 PM

Bathia_Mapes: "Females", submitter, not women.

Oh come on! Subby doesn't know the difference!

duffblue

2012-01-27 08:35:42 PM

This headline scared the hell out of me, good thing I RTFA before I went to my gun cabinet.

Hector Remarkable

2012-01-27 08:36:07 PM

That's a low blow, subby. Speaking of low blows...

tgregory6

2012-01-27 08:38:14 PM

Hector Remarkable: That's a low blow, subby. Speaking of low blows...

I see what you did there, +1 for you sir

MooseUpNorth

2012-01-27 08:44:48 PM

That's why you pinch her nose. It forces her to spit or swallow.

Kwality Assurance

2012-01-27 08:45:29 PM

So it might not be mine after all?

/DRTFA

FunkOut

2012-01-27 08:46:23 PM

The key to a good headline is making a headline that is disproven by the article.

GreenSun

2012-01-27 08:48:26 PM

Oh no!

Woman farks poor guy number 1.
Woman leaves.
Woman farks rich guy number 2.
Woman activates sperm and reproductive process.
Profits.

knumbersix

2012-01-27 08:49:17 PM

is unimpressed ...

miss diminutive

2012-01-27 08:49:36 PM

MooseUpNorth: That's why you pinch her nose. It forces her to spit or swallow.

Or bite.

E.S.Q.

2012-01-27 08:53:05 PM

Cricket sperm holds the secret to slowing the aging process

fusillade762

2012-01-27 08:55:48 PM

E.S.Q.: Cricket sperm holds the secret to slowing the aging process

Do you have to drink it or inject it?

PsiChick

2012-01-27 08:55:57 PM

Subby, I know it's hard to believe, but scientists are talking about crickets.

Unless you're having sex with crickets, of course...

/But please, Subby, keep it to yourself.

HellRaisingHoosier

2012-01-27 08:58:51 PM

Anyone else's heart skip a beat for a moment?

Nuclear Monk

2012-01-27 09:05:31 PM

That reminds me...I really need to wash that sock.

ExperianScaresCthulhu

2012-01-27 09:07:39 PM

Came for....

knumbersix: [cdn-premiere.ladmedia.fr image 470x317]

is unimpressed ...

... leaving satisfied.

fredbox

2012-01-27 09:08:24 PM

Always keep a ziploc handy and take the condom with you and never let it out of your sight. Or, vasectomy.

KStDrew

2012-01-27 09:12:34 PM

Here is one:

static.ddmcdn.com

Lone Stranger

2012-01-27 09:16:31 PM

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

fusillade762

2012-01-27 09:17:12 PM

I see a new episode of "Hoarders" coming.

FunkOut

2012-01-27 09:23:44 PM

fredbox: Always keep a ziploc handy and take the condom with you and never let it out of your sight. Or, vasectomy.

Why would you deny women who have a fetish for swallowing live sperm?

eatin' fetus

2012-01-27 09:26:18 PM

I'd like to propose a solution

libranoelrose

2012-01-27 09:27:40 PM

fusillade762: I see a new episode of "Hoarders" coming.

Oh gawd, that last episode was just horrible.

Now I've got this mental image of sperm crawling all over the walls like those roaches.

bhcompy

2012-01-27 09:28:49 PM

So that's how my wife got pregnant 6 months after we last screwed

que.guero

2012-01-27 09:31:03 PM

bhcompy: So that's how my wife got pregnant 6 months after we last screwed

I was gonna say, this opens up a WHOLE new area for paternity suits...

2012-01-27 09:39:42 PM

Came for Aeryn.

Leaving gratified, but unsatisfied, because there will never be enough Aeryn.

thisisarepeat

2012-01-27 09:41:43 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm surprised sperm can live that long without being put into cold storage.

That little flagellum is powered by the tiny amount chemical "food" it starts out with. I guess they just stop kicking after a while and drift around those fallopians until they are either peed out or killed by the environment.

Which brings us back to keeping those buggers for 8 years. It's pretty amazing that they can remain alive and viable for 8 years.

I left something in the other thread about how stupid average is, though I didn't have you in mind specifically.

thisisarepeat

2012-01-27 09:42:39 PM

hung like a catheter.

boomm

2012-01-27 09:42:45 PM

TFA: But how these sneaky females pull it off?

How these babby? It pull off. Sneaky babby. But females?

jimmyjackfunk

2012-01-27 09:44:18 PM

read article no mention of humans so i guess this means you could cancel that maury povich taping

treecologist

2012-01-27 09:46:24 PM

See, that's just gross, and it kinda makes me wanna be gay.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, wait, this isn't in humans?

Carry on, then.

fredbox

2012-01-27 09:46:30 PM

FunkOut: fredbox: Always keep a ziploc handy and take the condom with you and never let it out of your sight. Or, vasectomy.

Why would you deny women who have a fetish for swallowing live sperm?

I wouldn't, but if I wasn't already covered by the 2nd case, I'd need visual confirmation of the swallow, and probably still suggest a whiskey toast afterward. My partners post-vasectomy have been pleased about the fact, not disappointed, though. But I'll let you know if it comes up.

gerbilpox

2012-01-27 09:53:17 PM

the nifty ability to store sperm within their bodies for weeks and even years.

I think I speak for most men when I say that's not what I'd call "nifty."

ElPollotonto

2012-01-27 09:55:19 PM

So that's why my ex kept having kids that looked like her old boyfriends. Good thing they were always around to help out!

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