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(NPR) Obvious College and university presidents would like a private word with Obama about that whole "you need to stop hiking tuition rates just because you want to" thing   (npr.org) divider line 178
More: Obvious, State of the Union, tuitions, colleges, presidents  
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3876 clicks; posted to Politics » on 27 Jan 2012 at 5:30 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2012-01-27 01:55:47 PM
I liked the SOTU for the most part, but that was a really stupid idea. Given the fact that virtually every state is slashing higher ed budgets past the bone, telling schools that they can't raise tuition or they'll suffer federal aid cuts indicates a fundamental lack of understanding.

Don't get me wrong -- tuition is going up at ridiculous rates. There's no doubt of this. However, the REASON it's going up isn't because of some conspiracy on the part of universities to screw with students. It's because they're getting less in the way of operating expenses from other places. My school has taken about a 30% cut in state funds over the last three years. Not the pretend "cuts in the proposed increases" -- we're getting 30% less in state funds than we did three years ago. While our population is increasing. So either the Fed steps in and fills that gap, or we increase tuition. Or we reduce the size of the institution (which will result in lower funding, which starts the cycle over again).

And don't even try the "professors are paid so much OMG" argument. The ones who make the big bucks are the ones that pull in ten times their salary in grants. ADMINISTRATORS are overpaid. COACHES are overpaid. We faculty aren't the problem.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-01-27 02:12:22 PM
The thing you miss with the football coaches is that the major Div I-A college football system is the defacto Number 2 sports league in the U.S. (in a recent poll, College Football was tied with baseball at 13% behind the NFL at 36% with the question to sports fans "If you had to pick one sport, which would be your favorite"). Honestly, it is like major universities are operating a professional football league as a side company off of the schools, except that they don't pay the players anything other than free tuition (which is a pretty good perk if they take advantage of it right). So, those coaches are being paid because of the level that their successful programs bring money in, and nothing more. If you don't "overpay" the coaches, you also probably don't get the insane TV and other revenues from the Football program.
 
2012-01-27 02:13:09 PM
I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.
 
2012-01-27 02:13:14 PM
The biggest problem right now is that politicians have always cut funding for education in time of economic troubles. And they never seem to put money back in.
 
2012-01-27 02:14:41 PM
dletter: The thing you miss with the football coaches is that the major Div I-A college football system is the defacto Number 2 sports league in the U.S. (in a recent poll, College Football was tied with baseball at 13% behind the NFL at 36% with the question to sports fans "If you had to pick one sport, which would be your favorite"). Honestly, it is like major universities are operating a professional football league as a side company off of the schools, except that they don't pay the players anything other than free tuition (which is a pretty good perk if they take advantage of it right). So, those coaches are being paid because of the level that their successful programs bring money in, and nothing more. If you don't "overpay" the coaches, you also probably don't get the insane TV and other revenues from the Football program.

schools and education are the sideline - the college system these days is all about pumping out star football players and making money for the school.
 
2012-01-27 02:20:53 PM
Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

How about a 1% national sales tax that pays tuition for any student at any accredited school who graduates from high school with a C+ average or better.
 
2012-01-27 02:25:21 PM
dahmers love zombie: I liked the SOTU for the most part, but that was a really stupid idea. Given the fact that virtually every state is slashing higher ed budgets past the bone, telling schools that they can't raise tuition or they'll suffer federal aid cuts indicates a fundamental lack of understanding.

Don't get me wrong -- tuition is going up at ridiculous rates. There's no doubt of this. However, the REASON it's going up isn't because of some conspiracy on the part of universities to screw with students. It's because they're getting less in the way of operating expenses from other places. My school has taken about a 30% cut in state funds over the last three years. Not the pretend "cuts in the proposed increases" -- we're getting 30% less in state funds than we did three years ago. While our population is increasing. So either the Fed steps in and fills that gap, or we increase tuition. Or we reduce the size of the institution (which will result in lower funding, which starts the cycle over again).

And don't even try the "professors are paid so much OMG" argument. The ones who make the big bucks are the ones that pull in ten times their salary in grants. ADMINISTRATORS are overpaid. COACHES are overpaid. We faculty aren't the problem.

[i.imgur.com image 600x545]


Yeah, get rid of the coaches and get rid of football and get rid of the hundreds of athletes having their out-of-state tuition paid by it.

/hope you aren't in the economics or finance dep't.
 
2012-01-27 02:28:26 PM
Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

I'm not sure about the student loans being "evil" I think the main problem is that the promise of a "better life" that a degree offers no longer exists.

That and when you that non executive salaries have stagnated for the last 30 years, means the average parent cannot afford to put enough away for college.
 
2012-01-27 02:30:57 PM
It is absolutely true that many states look to higher funding as the first place to get cut, and they have done a major disservice to colleges and universities across the country as a result. Should a lot of that funding be restored? absolutely...if you could get states to stop wasting the funds on other useless crap, or *gasp* raise some revenue to compensate.

BUT...

Schools need to severely rethink their priorities, and where the students' tuition money goes. In other words, stop building 5-star hotel dorms and $50 million dollar high fashion department buildings, and invest it in subsidized textbooks and campus network hardware. Stop building million dollar weight rooms for the football team and paying the coach NFL level salary bonuses just to play in the Bowl each year. Invest that money into increased teacher salaries and financial aid opportunities.
 
2012-01-27 02:36:12 PM
Darth_Lukecash: Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

I'm not sure about the student loans being "evil" I think the main problem is that the promise of a "better life" that a degree offers no longer exists.

That and when you that non executive salaries have stagnated for the last 30 years, means the average parent cannot afford to put enough away for college.


that certainly doesn't help. I'm lucky - computers are as much a hobby for me as they are a career and I got in on the deal relatively early. But even that's no longer a safe bet these days.
 
2012-01-27 02:40:35 PM
This whole system is a house of cards propped up by federal money.
Every time a college raises its tuition it is in effect begging the feds for more money... because tuitions have long since become unaffordable for mere mortals, and any further increase will be paid out almost entirely in the form of student loans and grants.

At some point there will be sufficient pressure from the right (austerity!), the left (debt is slavery!) or both to prompt the passage of some sort of Student Loan Reform Act which will greatly reduce the amount of federal tuition assistance available.
That's when everything will turn to smoke...
 
2012-01-27 02:43:08 PM
Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

What, exactly, do you think is wrong with the current federal student loan program? Keep in mind that the government completely kicked out all the private lenders in 2010.
 
2012-01-27 02:51:39 PM
dahmers love zombie: We faculty aren't the problem.

Well sadly sometimes faculty is the problem and you know it. Professors who use grant money to line their own pockets. Lazy Professors with tenure that don't pull their weight leaving underpaid and overworked adjuct faculty and grad students to pick up the slack. Professors who game the system. i know there are good profs out there. But I just finished grad school with a MFA and I can tell you that the profs that gave a damn were maybe 30%. And ALL of them were embroiled in petty bullshiat conflict within their department and the campus at large. Campus Colleges are like Medieval Italian city-states and it is very detrimental to students who have to deal with dysfunctional departments. Dysfunctional to the point that you cant get the classes you need to graduate within a 6 year time frame because of how poorly the department is run.

The whole thing is an awful mess in part because of tenured faculty and staff whose only motivation is to minimize their workload.

Mind you I don't know what the answer is but I know it's going to take massive reform at every level to make higher education viable. Grad students got their access to Stafford loans cut this year which is going to end the gravy train of free instructors.
 
2012-01-27 02:53:31 PM
quickdraw: Grad students got their access to Stafford loans cut this year which is going to end the gravy train of free instructors.

No they didn't. Direct Loans (Stafford were the only privately held but government backed loans) are the same amount. There is no longer a subsidy associated with them.
 
2012-01-27 02:54:27 PM
NuttierThanEver: How about a 1% national sales tax that pays tuition for any student at any accredited school who graduates from high school with a C+ average or better.

No, sorry, too much of my tax money already goes to public schools that I never used, and never will use.
 
2012-01-27 03:00:34 PM
serpent_sky: No, sorry, too much of my tax money already goes to public schools that I never used, and never will use.

I don't drive, so I feel the same way about roads.
I've got a gun, too, so I feel the same way about defense.
 
2012-01-27 03:05:09 PM
Darth_Lukecash: Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

I'm not sure about the student loans being "evil" I think the main problem is that the promise of a "better life" that a degree offers no longer exists.


The whole idea that a generic college degree was a guarantee of anything was facially bankrupt in the first place. It was at best a gatekeeper, in that lack of it could hold you back, but somehow, somewhere, a bunch of relatively smart people* somehow got the idea in their head that because they have a sheepskin, that they are owed a job making a salary of at least $X. How this happened I'm not sure, but it's a classic logical fail. Just because A is a necessary precondition for B doesn't mean that upon achieving A that B necessarily follows.

I believe Lynn Anderson put it best.

*They have college degrees, after all!
 
2012-01-27 03:06:25 PM
NuttierThanEver: Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

How about a 1% national sales tax that pays tuition for any student at any accredited school who graduates from high school with a C+ average or better.


The idea has merit in theory, but there are already too many people with useless liberal arts degrees as it is. Tuition breaks should be limited to professions that are actually in demand.
 
2012-01-27 03:19:09 PM
serpent_sky: NuttierThanEver: How about a 1% national sales tax that pays tuition for any student at any accredited school who graduates from high school with a C+ average or better.

No, sorry, too much of my tax money already goes to public schools that I never used, and never will use.


You do realize that an educated proletariat is more likely to work hard to improve their lot in life and a lot less likely to show up at your mansion with pitchforks and torches when the revolution comes?

/let them eat vouchers.
 
2012-01-27 03:22:14 PM
NuttierThanEver: serpent_sky: NuttierThanEver: How about a 1% national sales tax that pays tuition for any student at any accredited school who graduates from high school with a C+ average or better.

No, sorry, too much of my tax money already goes to public schools that I never used, and never will use.

You do realize that an educated proletariat is more likely to work hard to improve their lot in life and a lot less likely to show up at your mansion with pitchforks and torches when the revolution comes?

/let them eat vouchers.


Have you ever *LIVED* with the sorts of people you call the "proletariat"? They'd kick your ass if you called them that to their face.
 
2012-01-27 03:27:01 PM
cnngps.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-01-27 03:27:25 PM
NuttierThanEver: Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

How about a 1% national sales tax that pays tuition for any student at any accredited school who graduates from high school with a C+ average or better.


That's a terrible idea rooted in the misbelief that everybody needs a college education. That same mentality is why we have hordes of unemployed Bisexual Asian Studies majors occupying various cities, crying about their debt. Your proposal would just shift the burden from just those students to all taxpayers.

I might have listened if you'd said B+ or better. Giving smart people money to make them smarter is a good investment, but even then I'd say to only consider it on what I tend to call "real" fields of study. Computer Science major making straight As? Give that guy some money. Sanskrit major making straight As? Meh.
 
2012-01-27 03:28:18 PM
NuttierThanEver: You do realize that an educated proletariat is more likely to work hard to improve their lot in life and a lot less likely to show up at your mansion with pitchforks and torches when the revolution comes?

I'm pretty sure my house isn't a mansion, unless it has a whole lot of rooms that I have yet to discover. I barely get by, though, and have no interest in paying a single cent more in taxes for anything
 
2012-01-27 03:31:38 PM
Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

Part of the reason schools charge so much is because the students can pay it...if they borrow from the government and then pay that back over the next 25 years. Dry up the borrowing, you dry up the demand which in turn drives down the price.

However, the result of that is fewer educated people.

My thought...just spit balling here...is revenue sharing. All NCAA sports profits go into a pool and then are shared among all NCAA schools equally...to be used solely to cover all those costs raising the tuition rates.

That way, everyone profits from the fact that Ohio State's football program, while not completely unresponsible for crime in Columbus, it does bring in a pretty penny.
 
2012-01-27 03:37:29 PM
serpent_sky: NuttierThanEver: You do realize that an educated proletariat is more likely to work hard to improve their lot in life and a lot less likely to show up at your mansion with pitchforks and torches when the revolution comes?

I'm pretty sure my house isn't a mansion, unless it has a whole lot of rooms that I have yet to discover. I barely get by, though, and have no interest in paying a single cent more in taxes for anything


Then you'll get the decaying society you deserve
 
2012-01-27 03:46:16 PM
NPR is a liberal rag, not to be trusted.

Right, "conservatives?"
 
2012-01-27 04:04:22 PM
Lionel Mandrake: NPR is a liberal rag, not to be trusted.

Right, "conservatives?"


A radio broadcasting organization a 'rag'? I thought the epithet 'rag' was limited to print media. After all, you can't wipe your ass with radio waves, and trust me, as a ham, I've *TRIED*.
 
2012-01-27 04:07:05 PM
dittybopper:

A radio broadcasting organization a 'rag'? I thought the epithet 'rag' was limited to print media. After all, you can't wipe your ass with radio waves, and trust me, as a ham, I've *TRIED*.


You're a delicious pork product?
 
2012-01-27 04:55:47 PM
edmo: cnngps.files.wordpress.com

so if i'm reading this right, the separation between public and private school tuition started around 2001. so...recession-based state funding cutbacks or islamo-fascism?
 
2012-01-27 05:03:53 PM
Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

I don't think we should be lending money to kids who aren't smart enough to get scholarships. I don't get the whole "we want an educated populace" thing. We're talking about dummies here. Education is wasted on them. All these nitwits going to college have done nothing but devalue a college education
 
2012-01-27 05:08:37 PM
rumpelstiltskin: Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

I don't think we should be lending money to kids who aren't smart enough to get scholarships. I don't get the whole "we want an educated populace" thing. We're talking about dummies here. Education is wasted on them. All these nitwits going to college have done nothing but devalue a college education


they make borderline nitwits like me look fantastic by comparison though. i say let them stay.
 
2012-01-27 05:37:30 PM
rumpelstiltskin: Weaver95: I'd like to tear down the student loan system, scrub the evil from it, and then rebuild it.

I don't think we should be lending money to kids who aren't smart enough to get scholarships. I don't get the whole "we want an educated populace" thing. We're talking about dummies here. Education is wasted on them. All these nitwits going to college have done nothing but devalue a college education


Ok course, now that a state university runs about $25K in-state (15 tuition, 10 living in the dorm, but that includes food, not spending a grand on parking every year, etc, so it's not a terrible deal), you gotta have the loans.
 
2012-01-27 05:37:48 PM
Supply and Demand. Cut funding to primary education and watch prices for secondary education drop
 
2012-01-27 05:38:36 PM
I don' think it is the teacher's problem, I think it is a bloated administration.

I've been in lecture halls with 400 people in them to be taught by a TA. That's probably a million bucks in revenue just for that class (depends on the tuition cost) and the expenses are lights, AC, and $5000 for the 'teacher'.
 
2012-01-27 05:39:22 PM
1: Don't blame the universities. The UNC system is about to implement a big tuition increase, because revenues are down, they've cut their budgets so drastically they can't make any more cuts without severely impacting academics, and the NC General Assembly is run by a bunch of "never raise taxes, EVER!" retards. The students protesting the tuition increases have one group of people to blame - their parents and their neighbors who voted for those clowns.

2: Do people on Fark not realize how college athletics work? The coaches are equal-part fundraisers. Their salary, the "million-dollar weightroom", and all the other amenities are paid for by raising money from the athletic boosters. Don't complain about Mike Gundy making $2 million a year - blame T. Boone Pickens for giving Oklahoma State $160 million to remodel the football stadium instead of a new chemistry building.
 
2012-01-27 05:39:58 PM
www.vpcomm.umich.edu
 
2012-01-27 05:42:24 PM
University presidents need to learn what a budget is or tell their donors earmarking is no longer allowed.

Darth_Lukecash: The biggest problem right now is that politicians have always cut funding for education in time of economic troubles. And they never seem to put money back in.

The big question is whether any of that money actually goes toward education. Universities blow so much money on stupid crap and stupid people (admins, bureaucrats, sports, fancy new buildings).
 
2012-01-27 05:42:41 PM
UNC_Samurai: 1: Don't blame the universities. The UNC system is about to implement a big tuition increase, because revenues are down, they've cut their budgets so drastically they can't make any more cuts without severely impacting academics, and the NC General Assembly is run by a bunch of "never raise taxes, EVER!" retards. The students protesting the tuition increases have one group of people to blame - their parents and their neighbors who voted for those clowns.

Citation added for just one school in the UNC system -

CHAPEL HILL -- UNC-Chapel Hill's funding from the state will be reduced by nearly 18 percent - or more than $100 million - making the historic flagship the hardest hit among the UNC system's 17 campuses.

Link (new window)

You wanna know why tuition is going up, you only have to look at how state support is going down. Obama's wrong to blame the Universities on this one.
 
2012-01-27 05:44:03 PM
Public universities are nonprofit institutions. The "equation", if you will, should look as follows:
State Grant + Federal Grants + Tuition/Fees + Alumni/Private Donation + Other (Sports, memorabilia, etc) = Operating Expenses

It's not like losing federal money will cause a university's costs to decrease. They'll still have to cover their expenses. You remove state funding (as has been happening for years) and then remove federal assistance, all you've accomplished is making tuition and fees even higher. The other option is to cut funding for programs and diminish the university.

President Obama's plan is as stupid as Republicans who try to do the same thing with the federal budget at large. His idea would turn university classrooms into overcrowded, underfunded, and poorly functioning hellholes. Essentially he wants public universities to turn as shiatty as public high schools.
 
2012-01-27 05:44:04 PM
moothemagiccow: The big question is whether any of that money actually goes toward education. Universities blow so much money on stupid crap and stupid people (admins, bureaucrats, sports, fancy new buildings).

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-01-27 05:46:24 PM
Let's be honest, a college education is the new high school education.

Keeping college tuition high is the new way to keep the poor sweeping the floor. But hey, someone's got to do it.
 
2012-01-27 05:47:08 PM
quickdraw: dahmers love zombie: We faculty aren't the problem.

Well sadly sometimes faculty is the problem and you know it. Professors who use grant money to line their own pockets. Lazy Professors with tenure that don't pull their weight leaving underpaid and overworked adjuct faculty and grad students to pick up the slack. Professors who game the system. i know there are good profs out there. But I just finished grad school with a MFA and I can tell you that the profs that gave a damn were maybe 30%. And ALL of them were embroiled in petty bullshiat conflict within their department and the campus at large. Campus Colleges are like Medieval Italian city-states and it is very detrimental to students who have to deal with dysfunctional departments. Dysfunctional to the point that you cant get the classes you need to graduate within a 6 year time frame because of how poorly the department is run.

The whole thing is an awful mess in part because of tenured faculty and staff whose only motivation is to minimize their workload.

Mind you I don't know what the answer is but I know it's going to take massive reform at every level to make higher education viable. Grad students got their access to Stafford loans cut this year which is going to end the gravy train of free instructors.


I think we found why your problem.

In the technical fields (at competitive schools anyway) there really is no such thing as professors lining their own pockets with grant money (how is this even possible? Everything we purchase goes through three levels of bureaucracy and slows down research) or professors getting tenure and slacking off (you stop bringing in grant money or stop pulling your weight academically - my department requires all 38 profs teach or co-teach one course per semester - and you'll be driven out with prejudice).

If anything, maybe your example is evidence of how we need to start expecting more from our liberal arts programs. Of course, I might be biased as the whiny biatches in the liberal arts are trying to unionize all grad students. I'm sorry, but you're a student. You're paid what you're worth. There are plenty of other people who'd be happy to take your liberal art grad student job. If you want more pay, contribute to sponsored research like those of us in technical fields.
 
2012-01-27 05:49:53 PM
Does anyone know if colleges have higher tuition rates for international students than out-of-state students? I mean, since Americans are subsidizing all colleges and universities regardless if they are private or public, why don't international students pay the full rate of tuition?
 
2012-01-27 05:51:09 PM
Woot college thread! Ok here goes:

1. Too much money is going toward students who study history or art. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO WORK IN MANUFACTURING LIKE A REAL AMERICAN WITH A DEGREE LIKE THAT? I, for one, am glad those entitled douche bags can't find jobs. They think that just because they worked hard for 4-5 years learning communication, time management, networking, interpersonal skills, researching skills, and critical thinking skills, they deserve some kind of hand-out. GO WORK IN A CAFE YOU WORTHLESS HIPPIE.

2. Professors are lazy entitled leeches, spreading the disease of liberal propaganda to our youths. They are totally over-paid and are the real problem with universities.

3. Coaches and administrators are the backbone of university. The schools pay high salaries because they "need the talent." If you offer a university president only 200,000 a year you'll prob end up with a mouth-breather.

4. All of this problems are mainly Obama's fault, who has simultaneously managed to asphyxiate small business with taxes AND drain the public school system of money AND exclusively fund feminist-sanskrit-modern-dance students.

God, I am so frustrated and old!!!!!
 
2012-01-27 05:52:56 PM
WxAxGxS: Of course, I might be biased as the whiny biatches in the liberal arts are trying to unionize all grad students.

Can the engineering grad students unionize, then? RPI has had a few tries at it. They got pretty close on the vote when I was there.

Classes + lab work + TA/grading = grad students who have to be brought food because they haven't been out of the lab in three days.

/also, RPI needs to stop spending money on stupid shiat like an "Athletic Village".
 
2012-01-27 05:53:47 PM
lennavan: moothemagiccow: The big question is whether any of that money actually goes toward education. Universities blow so much money on stupid crap and stupid people (admins, bureaucrats, sports, fancy new buildings).

[imgs.xkcd.com image 500x271]


Also, how they spend money is not always the university's choice. Los Angeles CCD is seeing major renovations on most of their campuses as the result of a bond. They don't have the choice to spend it on tuition, teachers, or staff. There was a major educational campaign on campus so people would quit protesting because we have brand new buildings but no classes to fill the rooms. It's to the point now where you can't complete many majors or transfers in two years because the schedule is so farked (had to go 5 semesters for my A.S, and that was in spite of having the 18 GE units before I even started).
 
2012-01-27 05:54:57 PM
Darth_Lukecash: The biggest problem right now is that politicians have always cut funding for education in time of economic troubles. And they never seem to put money back in.

there has been virtually unlimited money.
that might be the problem.
higher education has even outpaced medical inflation by a huge margin on the backs of loans guaranteed by the fed (which means anyone on earth can get one for almost anything from anywhere) that cannot even be discharged in the event of bankruptcy by the student. the rate of inflation is almost impossible to fathom.
everything in this country is a f*cking racket.
this is the best thing obama has done. (gay thing was nice as well).

satyagraha.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-01-27 05:55:09 PM
justinguarini4ever: Does anyone know if colleges have higher tuition rates for international students than out-of-state students? I mean, since Americans are subsidizing all colleges and universities regardless if they are private or public, why don't international students pay the full rate of tuition?

They do.

It's generally 2 to 5 times what in-state kids pay.
 
2012-01-27 05:55:20 PM
justinguarini4ever: Does anyone know if colleges have higher tuition rates for international students than out-of-state students? I mean, since Americans are subsidizing all colleges and universities regardless if they are private or public, why don't international students pay the full rate of tuition?

The premises of your question demonstrate you have no idea how Public or Private Universities are funded. To answer your question would require me to first educate you on how Public Universities are funded, then move on to how Private Universities are funded and the differences between the two. I would then need to explain the role the federal government plays in this and compare to the state government, along with an explanation of how state and federal governments are different and which one Obama is a part of.

Once you understood all of that I would then be able to answer your question in a manner I was confident you would be able to appropriately interpret.

But this is Fark.com, so instead I'll just answer them honestly and let you derp away with the results.

1) No, it is not higher.
2) They do. Out of state and foreigners both pay full tuition.
 
2012-01-27 05:55:55 PM
quickdraw: The whole thing is an awful mess in part because of tenured faculty and staff whose only motivation is to minimize their workload.

You seem to be mistaking college for high school, there. Tenured faculty have no workload beyond showing up to give lectures, all the grading/writing/office hours stuff is what grad students and post-docs are for.

I mean, I guess they could potentially slack off on their research, but if they didn't enjoy research they wouldn't have made it through the 10-20 years of research training it takes to get to the point of being an academic researcher.
 
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