FARK.com: (6906067) "Your honor, I accidentally beat my wife with a hammer. Then I accidentally doused her with gasoline.... and then I accidentally tossed a lit candle at her"

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		"Your honor, I accidentally beat my wife with a hammer. Then I accidentally doused her with gasoline.... and then I accidentally tossed a lit candle at her" (wptv.com)		52
		More: Florida, found guilty, hammers, witness stand, gasoline

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5346 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2012 at 11:55 AM | Favorite | share:

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52 Comments (+0 »)

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Shakespeare's Monkey

2012-01-27 11:59:14 AM

Well okay then; case dismissed.

The Stealth Hippopotamus

2012-01-27 11:59:30 AM

COME ON!! Who hasnt had that happen??

hillary

2012-01-27 11:59:42 AM

It could happen.

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian

2012-01-27 12:00:03 PM

Damnit biatch, I warned you to stop having so many accidents!!!!

Why Would I Read the Article

2012-01-27 12:00:11 PM

Hey...accidents happen, you know. That's why pencils have erasers.

oryx

2012-01-27 12:03:48 PM

He explained how accidentally the candle and accidentally the hammer but not now how accidentally the gasoline. No wonder he got convicted.

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian

2012-01-27 12:04:15 PM

Just read the article....damn that guy is an asshole. Someone needs to set him on fire, after the required ass raping by his fellow inmates.

The_Pink_Pimp

2012-01-27 12:06:44 PM

At least after this guilty verdict she has been vindicated, which means she should keep her chin up, and her head held high.

/aisle seat please

lockers

2012-01-27 12:07:08 PM

She knows what she did.

Leo Bloom's Freakout

2012-01-27 12:08:11 PM

Really your honor, I just accidentally... the whole thing.

/oblig.

KrispyKritter

2012-01-27 12:09:37 PM

should have just made the sandwich

jayhawk88

2012-01-27 12:10:58 PM

It could happen!

Crewmannumber6

2012-01-27 12:13:44 PM

I was cleaning my gun and it accidentally went off. eight times. Stopping only once to reload.

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight

2012-01-27 12:14:26 PM

She had it comin'! She had it comin'!
She only had herself to blame!
If you'da been there - if you'da seen it -
I betcha you would'a done the same!

Crewmannumber6

2012-01-27 12:14:49 PM

I'm not saying he shoulda done it

but I understand

beerrun

2012-01-27 12:15:12 PM

That's what happens when you can't afford an attorney on your own.
You get legal aide.

Accidentally hit her with a hammer? Accidentally set her on fire?!
Seriously?!

yogurt-the-wise

2012-01-27 12:15:31 PM

Accident? You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means! Inigo Montoya is not amused...

Gergesa

2012-01-27 12:15:47 PM

He probably tore his rotator cuff slapping her around and need to rely on other tools to explain to her how serious he was about dinner.

Incredulous

2012-01-27 12:15:51 PM

It was an accident, I tell you. All three times!

J-stroy

2012-01-27 12:16:11 PM

kill it with...

/nevermind

MissFeasance

2012-01-27 12:16:27 PM

That happens to me all the time!

NutWrench

2012-01-27 12:17:22 PM

Wow, that guy sure is accident-prone.

Evil Mackerel

2012-01-27 12:17:38 PM

What part of India did this take..Oh, a Florida tag.....

willfullyobscure

2012-01-27 12:17:47 PM

RELIGION OF PEACE

LeroyBourne

2012-01-27 12:19:39 PM

everyone knows you want to have lots of candles going when you tie someone up, to set the mood.

Leo Bloom's Freakout

2012-01-27 12:20:54 PM

beerrun: That's what happens when you can't afford an attorney on your own.
You get legal aide.

Accidentally hit her with a hammer? Accidentally set her on fire?!
Seriously?!

Yeah, just by sheer overkill (no pun intended), there's gotta be a stronger shot at some fashion of emotional/mental incompetence.

DubyaHater

2012-01-27 12:23:08 PM

It's like when I have to explain to my girlfriend "The porn accidentally showed up on my computer and I accidentally put your jar of lotion on the desk, and I accidentally took my pants off and started fapping". Completely plausible

leonel

2012-01-27 12:23:55 PM

These things happen all the time

jst3p

2012-01-27 12:24:32 PM

AHHH! KILL IT WITH FIRE

/oh, wait...

otto the bull

2012-01-27 12:25:37 PM

Whoopsie!

MBooda

2012-01-27 12:32:25 PM

Why Would I Read the Article: Hey...accidents happen, you know.

approve:
i86.photobucket.com

/lots of accidents for such a quiet neighborhood

abhorrent1

2012-01-27 12:32:33 PM

I'm shocked!

/not really

Noobian Noob

2012-01-27 12:35:24 PM

this happened in 1999. wonder why it took so long to go to trial.

un_farking_real

2012-01-27 12:37:33 PM

Subby needs to learn when and when not to use quotes.

mod3072

2012-01-27 12:45:18 PM

Man, if I had a nickle for every time that's happened to me....

//seriously - that's messed up. Burns are absolutely horrible. I can't think of a worse way to die, and I'm not sure if surviving it would be better or worse.

MBooda

2012-01-27 12:45:21 PM

abhorrent1: [media2.abcactionnews.com image 320x240]

I'm shocked!

/not really

i0.kym-cdn.com

jst3p

2012-01-27 12:48:22 PM

Accidents happen, believe me I know!

www.celebitchy.com

MBooda

2012-01-27 12:56:13 PM

Damn, too bad. Before all the accidents she looked kinda like yeoman Janice Rand.
media2.abcactionnews.com

/was the guy's name Charlie?

wingnut396

2012-01-27 12:58:23 PM

See, he went with the wrong defense.

I know I hammered, fueled and lit you, but it was because I was just so stressed from my love of being a cop and doing my duty to the nation.

//and I got Jesusified, so its all cool now.

jst3p

2012-01-27 01:01:35 PM

If I had a hammer,
I'd burn her in the moooorning
I'd burn her in the evening, (where?)
In my garage!

Lone Stranger

2012-01-27 01:15:38 PM

M0nkeyp0x

2012-01-27 01:16:39 PM

Keep your chin up.

jst3p

2012-01-27 01:21:24 PM

I bet she made him watch the Sex in the City movie. If so, then I understand.

Oznog

2012-01-27 01:26:14 PM

DVDave

2012-01-27 01:30:09 PM

My wife tends to have a lot more accidents when I've been drinking.

baronvonzipper

2012-01-27 01:32:08 PM

I said a toasted sammich!

boatbetty

2012-01-27 01:33:28 PM

Lone Stranger: [images0.cpcache.com image 350x350]

hammer time?

jmr61

2012-01-27 03:17:58 PM

She married him, she's responsible.

Rhames

2012-01-27 03:35:52 PM

We've had a hum dinger of a day!

0.tqn.com

Doink_Boink

2012-01-27 04:33:00 PM

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: Just read the article....damn that guy is an asshole. Someone needs to set him on fire, after the required ass raping by his fellow inmates.

Seriously, if justice was to be served he should be given a life sentence... after his arms are removed and the DD implants heal.

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