FARK.com: (6903512) You ever have a moment when a rousing political speech seems like it's plucked straight out of a movie?.....Well sometimes it's worth checking

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		You ever have a moment when a rousing political speech seems like it's plucked straight out of a movie?.....Well sometimes it's worth checking (ibtimes.co.uk)		98
		More: Amusing, Anthony Albanese, Labor Party, Aaron Sorkin, Australians, speeches, Leader of the Opposition, Martin Sheen

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Sybarite		2012-01-26 08:43:02 AM

Critics pointed out the almost word-for word similarity between Albanese's speech and one given by Michael Douglas in the Aaron Sorkin-scripted The American President.

I prefer speeches that draw their inspiration from Pokemon.

Pocket Ninja		2012-01-26 09:02:04 AM

You know, there are going to be a lot of people coming in here and assuming this is about the State of the Union address without RTFA, and I for one am very disappointed that it does not therefore open with something designed to enable and exploit such foolishness.

I_C_Weener		2012-01-26 09:17:02 AM

For once I'd love to see a politician quit with the speech from Network.

"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

ManateeGag		2012-01-26 09:27:52 AM

it was only a matter of time.

PhiloeBedoe		2012-01-26 09:34:11 AM

Cantor, I want you to know... that I try. When Michelle and the kids tell me that I'm supposed to control my violent temper, and be passive and nonviolent like they are, I try. I really try. But when I see this nation... of such a beautiful spirit... so degraded... and this country... that I love... sprawled out by this Great Recession here... and my countrymen, who are so special to me I call them"God's little gift of sunshine"... and I think of the number of years that they're going to have to carry in their memory... the savagery of this idiotic moment of yours... I just go BERSERK!

ArkAngel		2012-01-26 09:41:17 AM

So it is with America. Each time I look at that flag, I'm reminded that our destiny is stitched together like those fifty stars and those thirteen stripes. No one built this country on their own. This nation is great because we built it together. This nation is great because we worked as a team. This nation is great because we get each other's backs. And if we hold fast to that truth, in this moment of trial, there is no challenge too great; no mission too hard. As long as we're joined in common purpose, as long as we maintain our common resolve, our journey moves forward, and our future is hopeful, and the state of our union will always be strong.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

Rusty Shackleford		2012-01-26 10:13:57 AM

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. The last of the V8 interceptors on fire off the Great Ocean Road. I've watched beer piss beams glitter in the dark near the Sydney Opera House gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears down a Bogan's face."

SmackLT		2012-01-26 11:29:36 AM

"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces."

SmackLT		2012-01-26 11:33:53 AM

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shiat we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

SmackLT		2012-01-26 11:37:02 AM

"You're always gonna have problems lifting the body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do, is cut up the corpse into six pieces, and pile them all together. And when you've got your six pieces, you've gotta get rid of them. Cause it's no good to leave them lying around in the deep freeze for your Mum to discover now, is it? Then I hear, the best thing to do, is feed them to pigs. You've gotta starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped up body will look like candy to a pisshead. Then you've gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggie's digestion. Now, you COULD do this afterwards of course, but you don't want to go sifting through pig shiat now, do ya? They will go through bone, like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds, in about... eight minutes. That means that each pig can consume over two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: 'As greedy as a pig'."

DjangoStonereaver		2012-01-26 12:22:41 PM

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. [pause] Time to die.

lennavan		2012-01-26 12:26:03 PM

1) That's it? He plucked a few generic lines from a movie?

2) You think the politician plucked the lines? More likely it was some lazy speech writer for the politician.

Fart_Machine		2012-01-26 12:28:13 PM

Meh, he's just taking a page from Reagan.

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian		2012-01-26 12:28:59 PM

I like to quote lines from V for Vengence, just cause the dialog in that movie was so awesome.

YodaBlues		2012-01-26 12:29:05 PM

biatches, Come!

Fart_Machine		2012-01-26 12:31:44 PM

So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much farkin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that blah gene.

toraque		2012-01-26 12:32:47 PM

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

LazarusLong42		2012-01-26 12:32:52 PM

lennavan: 1) That's it? He plucked a few generic lines from a movie?

The central lines from the climactic speech of one of the best-known political movies of the last two decades? I mean, did anyone here on Fark not know what movie was being discussed before clicking the link?

2) You think the politician plucked the lines? More likely it was some lazy speech writer for the politician.

Almost certainly. I don't think he came up with those off the top of his head.

----

The worst part? Obama could use that section of the speech word-for-word as part of his campaign and it'd be completely true.

Nexzus		2012-01-26 12:33:20 PM

"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

Sin_City_Superhero		2012-01-26 12:33:54 PM

Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell's the matter with you? Stupid! We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw "Old Yeller?" Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? *sarcastically* Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure.
I cried my eyes out. So we're all dogfaces, we're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we're soldiers. But we're American soldiers! We've been kicking ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1! Now we don't have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud.

One Bad Apple		2012-01-26 12:34:06 PM

My sons, the galaxy is burning. We all bear witness to a final truth - our way is not the way of the Imperium.
You have never stood in the Emperor's light.
You have never worn the Imperial eagle.
And you never will.
You shall stand in midnight clad, your claws forever red with the lifeblood of my father's failed empire,
Warring through the centuries as the talons of a murdered god.
Rise, my sons, and take your wrath across the stars,
In my name. In my memory.
Rise my Night Lords

max_pooper		2012-01-26 12:34:08 PM

Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It takes two people to run a concert: one back stage, and one out front. One man alone cannot do this. Wayne, you will run the backstage team. Milton, you are my liaison between Wayne's backstage team and Garth's front-stage team which includes myself in the booth. To the left and right of the stage are machine-gun pillboxes, M-60 Browning. Now these babies tend to heat up so shoot in 3 second bursts. In the event of capture I will personally distribute these cyanide capsules to be placed under the tongue like so.

Madbassist1		2012-01-26 12:35:16 PM

"What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men."

Shaggy_C		2012-01-26 12:36:11 PM

Just get up off the ground, that's all I ask. Get up there with that lady that's up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won't just see scenery; you'll see the whole parade of what Man's carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so's he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That's what you'd see. There's no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And, uh, if that's what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we'd better get those boys' camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it's not too late, because this country is bigger than the Taylors, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don't get lost once they come to light. They're right here; you just have to see them again!

Urmuf Hamer		2012-01-26 12:36:45 PM

yeah, frankly I wish more politicians and or their speechwriters would lift or plagiarize when appropriate. Some of the drivel they spout while completely well intended and for good cause completely falls flat and causes them to lose their games. At least with this my immediate impression was meh, and he might have a point anyway.

x-unknown		2012-01-26 12:39:18 PM

Nexzus: [i177.photobucket.com image 640x360]
"Teacher says, 'everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.'"

RAWISRADFORD		2012-01-26 12:39:24 PM

all i know about australia is
chris lilly mocumenteries
great 80s bmx movies
koalas
"thats not a knife"

well I guess i could go on ... but

if its true (it can be said about most poiliticians) - those are some great lines
good artists copy, great ...

Nexzus		2012-01-26 12:40:07 PM

"I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day "Armageddon" - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrongs and the discord; through all of the pain and suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we all, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you."

Philip Francis Queeg		2012-01-26 12:40:10 PM

We watched as the bombs shattered the second comet into a million pieces of ice and rocks that burned harmlessly in our atmosphere, and lit up the sky for an hour. Still, we were left with the devastation of the first. The waters reached as far inland as the Ohio and Tennessee Valleys. It washed away farms and towns, forests and skyscrapers, but the water receded. The wave hit Europe and Africa, too. Millions were lost, countless more left homeless, but the waters receded. Cities fall, but they are rebuilt. And heroes die, but they are remembered. We honor them with every brick we lay, with every field we sow, with every child we comfort and then teach to rejoice in what we have been regiven. Our planet, our home. So now, let us begin.

ryant123		2012-01-26 12:41:12 PM

Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is, Mr.Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too f*ckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place! Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say that you are executing his soul! And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, f*ck you too.

wildcardjack		2012-01-26 12:44:17 PM

So the problem with politics today is that the speeches are written by political speech writers who want to be as rousing as the scenes in the movies. You know, movies where the director gets to prod the paid audience into rousing cheers.

So the obvious solution is to hire Hollywood script writers and craft services.

Sin_City_Superhero		2012-01-26 12:46:16 PM

This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

Shrugging Atlas		2012-01-26 12:47:05 PM

SmackLT: "Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces."

I lol'd. Well done sir.

wren337		2012-01-26 12:50:41 PM

The personal, as everyone's so farking fond of saying, is political. So if some idiot politician, some power player, tries to execute policies that harm you or those you care about, take it personally. Get angry. The Machinery of Justice will not serve you here - it is slow and cold, and it is theirs, hardware and soft. Only the little people suffer at the hands of Justice; the creatures of power slide out from under with a wink and a grin. If you want justice, you will have to claw it from them. Make it personal. Do as much damage as you can. Get your message across. That way you stand a far better chance of being taken seriously next time. Of being considered dangerous. And make no mistake about this: being taken seriously, being considered dangerous, marks the difference - the only difference in their eyes - between players and little people. Players they will make deals with. Little people they liquidate. And time and again they cream your liquidation, your displacement, your torture and brutal execution with the ultimate insult that it's just business, it's politics, it's the way of the world, it's a tough life, and that it's nothing personal. Well, fark them. Make it personal.

thelordofcheese		2012-01-26 12:52:51 PM

See, my damie, Pootie Tang don't wa-da-tah to the shama cow... 'cause thats a cama cama leepa-chaiii, dig?

Dahnkster		2012-01-26 12:57:27 PM

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

guygadbois		2012-01-26 01:01:08 PM

I've just finished ballasting the corpse, see?
That means you fill it with certain things because...
You may not be aware that a corpse under water swells up with air, see?
So it tends to float to the surface. You have to load it with ballast so it sinks. You weight it down with stones and other heavy stuff. There's a ballast ratio for corpses...
Three times body weight for an average adult like this victim.
But for children and midgets it's different. Kids are lighter. So it's four times body weight... Midgets are heavier, so you double the weight. Midgets have denser bones so you double the weight.
For old people, multiply by five. Old bones are porous.

general tso		2012-01-26 01:02:05 PM

But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

EmRack		2012-01-26 01:03:20 PM

Nexzus: [i177.photobucket.com image 640x360]
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

I was looking for that speech, now I'm done with this thread

ExperianScaresCthulhu		2012-01-26 01:03:29 PM

(I like this meme. I like it a lot)
/not a bookmark

Desquamation		2012-01-26 01:06:46 PM

See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fark all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shiat all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get farked by dicks. But dicks also fark assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fark the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shiat!

chknjetski		2012-01-26 01:08:22 PM

[i177.photobucket.com image 640x360]
"Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?"

dalovindj		2012-01-26 01:10:41 PM

My biatch better have my money. Through rain, sleet, or snow. My whore better have my money. Not half, not some, but ALL my cash. Cause if she don't, I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.

burndtdan		2012-01-26 01:11:37 PM

Final report of the commercial starship Nostromo, third officer reporting. The other members of the crew, Kane, Lambert, Parker, Brett, Ash and Captain Dallas, are dead. Cargo and ship destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about six weeks. With a little luck, the network will pick me up. This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.

rosiem88		2012-01-26 01:11:49 PM

SmackLT: [i177.photobucket.com image 640x360]
"You're always gonna have problems lifting the body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do, is cut up the corpse into six pieces, and pile them all together. And when you've got your six pieces, you've gotta get rid of them. Cause it's no good to leave them lying around in the deep freeze for your Mum to discover now, is it? Then I hear, the best thing to do, is feed them to pigs. You've gotta starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped up body will look like candy to a pisshead. Then you've gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggie's digestion. Now, you COULD do this afterwards of course, but you don't want to go sifting through pig shiat now, do ya? They will go through bone, like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds, in about... eight minutes. That means that each pig can consume over two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: 'As greedy as a pig'."

I lol'd so hard. Well done.

BMFPitt		2012-01-26 01:12:17 PM

EmRack: Nexzus: [i177.photobucket.com image 640x360]
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

I was looking for that speech, now I'm done with this thread

Beat me to it.

dalovindj		2012-01-26 01:14:50 PM

Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.

chknjetski		2012-01-26 01:15:33 PM

[resources2.news.com.au image 640x360]

"I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen."

Moogable		2012-01-26 01:15:35 PM

"I am your enemy, the first one you've ever had who was smarter than you. There is no teacher but the enemy. No one but the enemy will tell you what the enemy is going to do. No one but the enemy will ever teach you how to destroy and conquer. Only the enemy tells you where he is strong. And the rules of the game are what you can do to him and what you can stop him from doing to you. I am your enemy from now on. From now on I am your teacher."

chknjetski		2012-01-26 01:17:56 PM

[resources2.news.com.au image 640x360]

"People like that security guard. They don't really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart."

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