FARK.com: (6902998) Pregnant woman's water breaks on lawn outside the hospital; doctors and nurses come to the fescue and deliver baby

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		Pregnant woman's water breaks on lawn outside the hospital; doctors and nurses come to the fescue and deliver baby (wtop.com)		35
		More: Spiffy, pregnant woman, lawns, Debra Kallgren

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2343 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2012 at 4:29 AM | Favorite | share:

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35 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

darkhorse23

2012-01-26 12:25:55 AM

Okay, subby, this is excellent.

Fark Me To Tears

2012-01-26 12:26:51 AM

(* golf clap *) Nicely played, subby...

Fark Me To Tears

2012-01-26 12:29:35 AM

FTFA: PORTSMOUTH, Va. (AP) - A pregnant woman's water broke before she could get inside the Portsmouth Naval Hospital. So, doctors and nurses came to her.

Out on the lawn, huh? Not their normal turf, that's for sure.

Grand_Moff_Joseph

2012-01-26 12:31:56 AM

And after thanking St. Augustine and clearing the Bermuda from the Carpet, they wrapped the Red-headed child in a Thermal Blue blanket and went inside.

/the end

Xaneidolon

2012-01-26 04:32:36 AM

Such rye humor in the headline. I like it.

Nogale

2012-01-26 04:40:07 AM

Is "fescue" the new "vodak"?

Nogale

2012-01-26 04:41:23 AM

OK, I get it.

ArcadianRefugee

2012-01-26 04:42:40 AM

Nogale: OK, I get it.

I don;t.

cedarpark

2012-01-26 04:46:35 AM

I bet after that episode she'll reconsider having any mow kids.

cedarpark

2012-01-26 04:49:07 AM

I'm suprised the hospital didn't call an ambulance to have the woman carted from the lawn into a delivery room.
/there's protocol to follow

cbackous

2012-01-26 04:54:35 AM

well you know what they say.. if there is grass on the field..

Shedim

2012-01-26 04:54:43 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Nogale: OK, I get it.

I don;t.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fescue

culebra

2012-01-26 04:57:15 AM

Get bent, subby.

MoeSzyslak

2012-01-26 04:58:52 AM

/Shatner approves

PrincessOfPenguins

2012-01-26 05:03:49 AM

That was fast. My baby didn't arrive until 20 hours or so after my water broke...

Old enough to know better

2012-01-26 06:05:41 AM

cedarpark: I'm suprised the hospital didn't call an ambulance to have the woman carted from the lawn into a delivery room.
/there's protocol to follow

This.

A rare example of bureaucrat-free common sense.

rico567

2012-01-26 06:17:01 AM

Ah- a real Farkworthy headline breaks through the background static. +1, Subby.

HAMMERTOE

2012-01-26 07:00:30 AM

Hospital accountant #1: Damn! There goes the L&D suite charge...

Hospital accountant #2: That's alright. Wait until you see the green fee.

JellyDoughnut

2012-01-26 07:25:06 AM

I delivered at this same hospital. Trust me when I say this woman had better care outside in the grass then she would have if she were to go in to the OB/GYN clinic. Almost died by c-section because of these people. Every other clinic there is quite good but the doctors at OB/GYN (for the most part) are a bunch of jaded bastards.

/was looking for the cattle tag on the ear after he was born

DoBeDoBeDo

2012-01-26 08:01:10 AM

WTF? Surely there is more to this story. I would venture a guess that 99% of women, that don't have scheduled C-sections, have their water break outside the hospital. My wife's broke at home, hour trip to hospital, 18 hours later baby was born.

hicksfa2

2012-01-26 08:08:11 AM

This most certainly the result of Obamacare! Regular insurance companies would have never let this happen to this poor woman.

MagSeven

2012-01-26 08:16:43 AM

JellyDoughnut: I delivered at this same hospital. Trust me when I say this woman had better care outside in the grass then she would have if she were to go in to the OB/GYN clinic. Almost died by c-section because of these people. Every other clinic there is quite good but the doctors at OB/GYN (for the most part) are a bunch of jaded bastards.

/was looking for the cattle tag on the ear after he was born

Well with the C-section, at least they preserved your fescue.
/that's a word I'm going to be using a lot more. Fescue. Fescue. Fescuuuuuueeee. Fescuuuahhh.....

Pollexter

2012-01-26 08:17:50 AM

"Bob, your lawn looks great. Cindy is so jealous, I just have to know your secret!"

"Well Steve, if you promise not to tell the other neighbors, come on over and I'll show you." *cheesy laugh* "It's new TurfBuilder Afterbirth. Nothing brings out the green in your lawn quite like rotting cord blood and amniotic fluid..."

/TurfBuilder Afterbirth: Now contains 15% more placenta. Available at your local HomeDepot or where ever fine human tissue fertilizer products are sold

hypocaffeinemia

2012-01-26 08:37:21 AM

cedarpark: I'm suprised the hospital didn't call an ambulance to have the woman carted from the lawn into a delivery room.
/there's protocol to follow

EMTALA (the last part is, of course, "...and Labor..") has been clarified by CMS to require coverage within 250 yards of the hospital "campus". We have a MOB across the street from us and because we provide some outpatient services affiliated with our hospital, this counts as our campus for legal reasons and I've had to respond to emergencies there instead of them calling 911. I mean, if I run full sprint from the middle of my ICU to across the street I might make it there in under 10 minutes, but it isn't ideal.

What I don't understand is why they would deliver on the lawn if her water merely broke. You typically have a bit of time in between water breaking and delivery, so some piece of data seems missing. Apparently, Palin, the moron that she is, took a series of flights from Dallas to Anchorage and then drove to her hometown hospital, all after her water broke, as an example.

hypocaffeinemia

2012-01-26 08:39:36 AM

I should note that I'm glad CMS clarified the campus rule. When I worked as an EMT prior to their ruling, I'd have several calls a month to hospital parking lots, which is just pathetic.

The Singing Bush

2012-01-26 08:51:28 AM

PrincessOfPenguins: That was fast. My baby didn't arrive until 20 hours or so after my water broke...

I found that odd as well. My wife had twins 11 days ago. Her water broke at home and she had the c-section about 3 hours later. I've heard of quick deliv....zzzzz......zzzzz.......zzzzz......zzzzz

BizarreMan

2012-01-26 08:53:26 AM

Were the Stones there to come to her emotional fescue?

foonly

2012-01-26 09:08:19 AM

Aretha Franklin's gardener

Violet Insinuendo

2012-01-26 10:28:13 AM

DoBeDoBeDo: WTF? Surely there is more to this story. I would venture a guess that 99% of women, that don't have scheduled C-sections, have their water break outside the hospital. My wife's broke at home, hour trip to hospital, 18 hours later baby was born.

Some women don't labor for extended periods of time after the water breaks. With my second baby, the water broke just before he crowned (w/i seconds).

eeyore102

2012-01-26 10:49:54 AM

With my second child, we were playing WoW and people were teasing me about taking castor oil and bouncing on a trampoline. I logged off and my water broke.

I turned to my husband and told him to log off. He thought I was joking until I said, "NO, SERIOUSLY, LOG OFF NOW."

Went to the hospital, they checked me out and sent me home to get some sleep. Had the baby the following evening (which is a whole other gory, dramatic story).

So...anyway, I agree, this article is poorly written.

fugeeface

2012-01-26 01:17:17 PM

+1 subby, awesome headline!

TK-593

2012-01-26 03:15:45 PM

My wife was there with my daughter for a routine appt. when this happened. What the article fails to mention is that brilliant hubby drove around the garage for half an hour looking for a parking spot and as they were walking in she started to crown.

Hector Remarkable

2012-01-26 05:30:06 PM

Classic headline. +1

Firethorn

2012-01-27 04:23:36 PM

hypocaffeinemia: Apparently, Palin, the moron that she is, took a series of flights from Dallas to Anchorage and then drove to her hometown hospital, all after her water broke, as an example.

Palin, for good or bad, also had plenty of experience with childbirth, and she isn't rational to begin with, you expect rationality out of her when she's in labor?

Of course, the only site I found mentioning what you talked about also had a bunch of even crazier things, so do you have a non-crazy source?

Hector Remarkable

2012-01-27 04:49:02 PM

I am still laughing at this headline.

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