I think most people who suffer the loss of a loved one go into at least a mild depression at some point, it's completely natural. Putting them on anti-depressants right off the bat just seems a little extreme. People need time to grieve, come to terms with their emotions and seek closure without having their bodies full of mind altering chemicals. Coping with death is part of the human condition.

/disclaimer: not a psychiatrist
//took an undergrad psych course or two
//so I'm totally an expert

dahmers love zombie: It's a legitimate disorder.

Oh I so remember that

CSB -

I was in Home Depot awhile back just a screwdriver to buy. Walk up and there are two self serve aisles, each with a customer currently checking out. The one on the right also has a ~50 year old woman waiting to go next. So I stand at the one on the left. For perspective there's actually a display separating the two as well, they aren't actually close. Mine clears first, so I wander up, scan my screwdriver, touch "Pay Now" and select "Credit Card." At this point the woman walks over and says to me "Hey, I was next in line." I swipe my credit card and think to myself I could explain to her she was on the right side and mine cleared first, how she cannot be in all lanes simultaneously. I could explain to her that in the time it took her to biatch at me, I actually finished and it's about to be her turn as soon as I get my receipt. But I didn't feel like explaining anything to her, I was in the right and I didn't care what she thought. This was over the course of a few moments and I also thought it rude to not respond. So I looked right at her and said "you'll get over it" turned around and walked right out. I could hear her sarcastically telling me about what a "fine gentleman I was" and whatnot but I was kinda stunned at myself to do anything else but keep walking out to the car.

Best part is, I'm actually a nice guy in real life and my wife was with me. As we walked out the door I looked at her and laughed saying "whoa, I don't know where that came from, that was awesome." Actually, I lied, I did know where it came from. I blame you, Fark.

/csb

/no idea if she ever did get over it

So many people take antidepressants these days.

Haven't they heard of Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills?

It cures all your ills.

Paging Miss Havisham...

So my lack of human emotion means that I am, in terms of mental health, the healthiest person on the planet?

Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

I'm grieving for mah grief.

So we all agree that modern psychiatry is a farking evil joke?

lennavan: CSB -

I was in Home Depot awhile back just a screwdriver to buy. Walk up and there are two self serve aisles, each with a customer currently checking out. The one on the right also has a ~50 year old woman waiting to go next. So I stand at the one on the left. For perspective there's actually a display separating the two as well, they aren't actually close. Mine clears first, so I wander up, scan my screwdriver, touch "Pay Now" and select "Credit Card." At this point the woman walks over and says to me "Hey, I was next in line." I swipe my credit card and think to myself I could explain to her she was on the right side and mine cleared first, how she cannot be in all lanes simultaneously. I could explain to her that in the time it took her to biatch at me, I actually finished and it's about to be her turn as soon as I get my receipt. But I didn't feel like explaining anything to her, I was in the right and I didn't care what she thought. This was over the course of a few moments and I also thought it rude to not respond. So I looked right at her and said "you'll get over it" turned around and walked right out. I could hear her sarcastically telling me about what a "fine gentleman I was" and whatnot but I was kinda stunned at myself to do anything else but keep walking out to the car.

Best part is, I'm actually a nice guy in real life and my wife was with me. As we walked out the door I looked at her and laughed saying "whoa, I don't know where that came from, that was awesome." Actually, I lied, I did know where it came from. I blame you, Fark.

/csb

/no idea if she ever did get over it

Lennavan, every quadrant of self-checkout stands I have ever observed was a uni-line. She was right to be upset.

r1niceboy: Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

There's a reason why so many people die after losing a loved one. And it's not because grief is trivial.

r1niceboy: Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

And this is why nobody takes depression seriously.

Grief can be profound and life changing. Providing help when someone needs it is kind and humane.

Just cause we're bereaved, doesn't make us saps.


In all seriousness though, while true depression is obviously far more serious, I think grief can certainly lead to it, and it's best to nip it in the bud if possible. I know that's how it was with me. Got cheated on by me ex-fiance, and went through the normal pain. Except a few months turned into a year, which turned into 2 years, which is now at about 2 and a half years, and I honestly don't feel any better. Going on my deployment certainly didn't help. I know there area ways to get help, but in my line of work, both civilian and military, something adverse on your record can get clearances stripped and positions closed in no time. I wish it weren't that way, but it is. And right now, my work is really the only thing keeping me afloat. It's easy to say "well if you're depressed, they're right; you shouldn't have that job". Maybe that's true. But I would hate to think where I'd be if I lost the few things I do have left, career being the biggest one.

Anyways, CSB and all that. Depression is no joke, and getting help is sometimes a lot harder than it should be. It really is best to fix it before it gets to the 2 year+ mark.

You can label me anything you want, that doesn't mean I'm going to feel duty-bound to "get it treated."
As long as one doesn't harm women, children, small animals or law enforcement officers, there are a LOT of conditions the world will let slide.

I dunno, after my mom died in 1995, my dad descended into a hell of hoarding and drinking himself to sleep on the nights he didn't have to work (bus driver). He sort of climbed out of it for a while a few years ago when he got a housemate that cleaned and cooked and whatnot, but even then he was bad at taking care of himself. His new gf seems to be making him happy, but apparently they're BOTH hoarders so things are going downhill again.

/yeah yeah, css.

Cid_Highwind: r1niceboy: Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

And this is why nobody takes depression seriously.

Which is why people sometimes come home from work to find a loved one dangling from a rope. D'you reckon they take that seriously?

Psychology: Psuedoscience, but very profitable. Ain't capitalism wonderful.

Enigmamf: r1niceboy: Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

There's a reason why so many people die after losing a loved one. And it's not because grief is trivial.

Grief can trigger depression, but the depression existed beforehand. Grief is a reaction to a loss. Depression is an illness needing treatment. Not necessarily with pills, but it needs addressing. The main worry is that people will seek medicinal help for what is a natural event that we'll all have to struggle with at some point. I'd never trivialize grief, but am wary that drugs will be used instead of learning to cope.

r1niceboy: Cid_Highwind: r1niceboy: Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

And this is why nobody takes depression seriously.

Which is why people sometimes come home from work to find a loved one dangling from a rope. D'you reckon they take that seriously?

That happened in this community. Twice. To people who didn't "seem like" they'd be capable of even being depressed. One was a 12-year-old boy, another was a successful adult, a musician. But that's how I know it's an illness, anyway. Because of them.

miss diminutive: People need time to grieve, come to terms with their emotions and seek closure without having their bodies full of mind altering chemicals. Coping with death is part of the human condition.

But it affects worker efficiency. This way, making money from the drugs keeping people at work is just the icing on the cake.

One day we'll realize that drugs don't solve everything and what we consider "illnesses" and "disorders" are just facets of the massively diverse disco ball of the human psyche.

/seriously, being too happy is considered a mental illness and has drugs for it, what the hell

Huck And Molly Ziegler: r1niceboy: Cid_Highwind: r1niceboy: Way to diminish those who actually suffer actual depression. Grief is a party compared to waking up and feeling like you're a black hole sucking away hope and joy from the world.

And this is why nobody takes depression seriously.

Which is why people sometimes come home from work to find a loved one dangling from a rope. D'you reckon they take that seriously?

That happened in this community. Twice. To people who didn't "seem like" they'd be capable of even being depressed. One was a 12-year-old boy, another was a successful adult, a musician. But that's how I know it's an illness, anyway. Because of them.

Most people suffering depression don't show obvious signs. A lot of times they won't seek help because they think people will judge and look down on them. If Fark is representative of society, they're right.

Grief is a very powerful thing, and sometimes it really just sneaks up on you. Here's my csb.

I'm an only child. My father died when I was 17. I imagine I went through the normal stages of grief, but much of the first couple of weeks after his funeral are kind of a blur. When my mother died 8 years ago, I had to deal with the funeral alone. Not in the making of the arrangements, my aunt on my fathers side helped with that (my mother hadn't spoken to her family for years at this point). But no matter how much someone is loved by their friends, as her only child, and with my dad gone, I had no one in my immediate family to grieve with. The loss of a parent is a very profound experience, one that is unique to each person. I was with my mother when she passed, she had advanced lung cancer and after consulting with her doctors, I had to make the very hard decision to put her in hospice and not seek treatment, as it was so advanced she would only be in pain from the chemo and it wouldn't extend her life. Most of the time, I go on with my life, however if caught in a moment of personal honesty I will openly admit to still be grieving for my mother. Part of that is guilt, but a large part is a loss of childhood, feeling of safety and security. I hadn't lived with my mother for over 10 years when she passed, we didn't even live in the same state, but I always knew, if something happened, she was there. And an even larger part is just missing having her in my life to share the joy as well as the pain. I have friends I can do that with, but it's different with your mother. Would I benefit from anti-depressants, don't know, I don't like taking pills and would rather feel emotion than suppress it. But I do wonder, if I did get on anti-depressants years ago, would I still be struggling with her loss.

r1niceboy: Which is why people sometimes come home from work to find a loved one dangling from a rope. D'you reckon they take that seriously?

Yes, because nobody has ever committed suicide out of grief, like, ever. Never happens.

Nope, all the pathos in the world must go to the clinically NOBODY CAN KNOW MY PAIN depressed. They're the only ones who need the meds because they're the only people in the world who ever feel despair. Your wife died? FARK YOU PUSSY, I'M SAD FOR NO REASON. Try having a REAL problem, asshole!

Taking a rather juvenile backhanded pride in your issues to the point you insist other people's problems are miniscule isn't going to get anyone to take you seriously.

Re: Ohnoes, teh Big Pharma! posters: People have self-medicated for grief with alcohol for millenia. I don't see the big deal.

Cid_Highwind: r1niceboy: Which is why people sometimes come home from work to find a loved one dangling from a rope. D'you reckon they take that seriously?

Yes, because nobody has ever committed suicide out of grief, like, ever. Never happens.

Nope, all the pathos in the world must go to the clinically NOBODY CAN KNOW MY PAIN depressed. They're the only ones who need the meds because they're the only people in the world who ever feel despair. Your wife died? FARK YOU PUSSY, I'M SAD FOR NO REASON. Try having a REAL problem, asshole!

Taking a rather juvenile backhanded pride in your issues to the point you insist other people's problems are miniscule isn't going to get anyone to take you seriously.

Re: Ohnoes, teh Big Pharma! posters: People have self-medicated for grief with alcohol for millenia. I don't see the big deal.

I recommend becoming a counselor. With that kind of empathy you'll likely solve global over-population.

r1niceboy: I recommend becoming a counselor. With that kind of empathy you'll likely solve global over-population.

You'll note that I never argued against seeking treatment for depression. I was going after the incredibly douchey dismissal of the suffering of others engaged in by "compassionate" champions of the depressed, like yourself.

FTA: shaping treatment and insurance decisions

Cut to the chase; insurance companies have your decision making by the balls, and you'll pay for it. Or get arrested. Government backings of "private" insurance companies are the goddam biggest legal racket on the planet. Should I be surprised that linkedin is sending me job offers for insurance sales positions when my resume has jack shiat to do with sales?

What's that demotivational poster? I don't like corruption, but if not, how can I get in?

david_gaithersburg: So we all agree that modern psychiatry is a farking evil joke?

Yes, but not just modern psychiatry. And it's more of a cruel, sad joke.

/Am not referring to psychiatry before it adopted a biological model.
//Am not referring to psychology.
///There is a difference, except in all movies and TV shows, where they are used interchangeably.

Um, isn't one of the fundamental aspects of a mental disorder supposed to be that it falls outside the norm of human experience? I'm pretty sure that being experienced by literally 100% of people at one time or another pretty much disqualifies it form being a mental disorder.

//Yeah, I know "hurr durr everyone's depressed sometimes and that's a disorder"; fark off, clinical depression is something completely different from your random feeling of sadness/ennui and it's actually extremely uncommon. It's also characterized by being inappropriately sad, if you're sad for a reason, even a lame reason, you don't qualify.

they really want to get everyone on some kind of medication don't they jesus christ.

lennavan: CSB -

I was in Home Depot awhile back just a screwdriver to buy. Walk up and there are two self serve aisles, each with a customer currently checking out. The one on the right also has a ~50 year old woman waiting to go next. So I stand at the one on the left. For perspective there's actually a display separating the two as well, they aren't actually close. Mine clears first, so I wander up, scan my screwdriver, touch "Pay Now" and select "Credit Card." At this point the woman walks over and says to me "Hey, I was next in line." I swipe my credit card and think to myself I could explain to her she was on the right side and mine cleared first, how she cannot be in all lanes simultaneously. I could explain to her that in the time it took her to biatch at me, I actually finished and it's about to be her turn as soon as I get my receipt. But I didn't feel like explaining anything to her, I was in the right and I didn't care what she thought. This was over the course of a few moments and I also thought it rude to not respond. So I looked right at her and said "you'll get over it" turned around and walked right out. I could hear her sarcastically telling me about what a "fine gentleman I was" and whatnot but I was kinda stunned at myself to do anything else but keep walking out to the car.

Best part is, I'm actually a nice guy in real life and my wife was with me. As we walked out the door I looked at her and laughed saying "whoa, I don't know where that came from, that was awesome." Actually, I lied, I did know where it came from. I blame you, Fark.

/csb

/no idea if she ever did get over it

this marks the downfall of modern civilization as we know it. and you were here.

"Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day

Grief can be devestating to some. We lost our son at 30 to a disease that came out of the blue. I suppose I will actually never stop grieving to a certian extent. The wife however, it has consumed her life and I doubt she will ever get over it. There is a lot more to do with it like being abandoned by her dad and the loss of her first husband and I think that death was just what capped off her lifelong depression. 5 years of weekly therapy didn't really seem to help nor do the medications. I have even gone to the point of buying another house in another town so we could move away from the memories that keep haunting her. I'm not sure this will be the answer, but some people do have a hard time with this.

Time for your dose of Prozium, citizen.

Still unhappy? Well there's a cure for that too:

But I do wonder, if I did get on anti-depressants years ago, would I still be struggling with her loss.

my opinion is that you still would be, and you'd be addicted to anti-depressants to boot. i think attending a support group (of other people possibly in your situation) for a year would have been more helpful.

/total layman's opinion, my degrees are in physics , not psychics