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(Wired)   Newt thinks we should upload our firewalls and hack the internets against China and Russia   (wired.com) divider line 129
    More: Dumbass, Russia, firewalls, Iranian nuclear program, rogue states, National Security Agency  
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3924 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Jan 2012 at 9:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-25 06:06:17 PM
I think Newt would have difficulty distinguishing a firewall from a fire hose.
 
2012-01-25 06:14:14 PM
Which internets?
 
2012-01-25 06:30:16 PM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2012-01-25 07:15:11 PM
"Trade secrets developed over thousands of working hours by our brightest minds are stolen in a split second and transferred to our competitors,"

And imagine if those secrets were further developed by our competitors, improved upon, then we steal the secrets back. This goes on for awhile until we have a near-perfect system.

Wow, that makes the internet sound like a horrible idea. (For people with a financial interest, i.e. evil scum).
 
2012-01-25 07:16:56 PM
mitchcumstein1: Which internets?

ALL OF THEM.
 
2012-01-25 07:41:04 PM
Own Gateway stock Mr. Gingrich?
 
2012-01-25 07:43:02 PM
Dear Old People;
Stop talking about, and attempting to engage in serious discussions about, computer technology. You didn't get it back then and you don't get it now. You never will get it. So please go back to what you know: clipping coupons, mowing the lawn, and changing the oil in the pickup. Leave the "complicated computer stuff" to us young(er) folk. OK? Thx. Now go on into the buffet. We gotta catch up on a few things and the smartphone won't work as well inside. Go on now! Go on! We'll be there in a minute.
 
2012-01-25 07:44:26 PM

mamoru: mitchcumstein1: Which internets?

ALL OF THEM.


Every single tube?
 
2012-01-25 07:47:42 PM
I say we reboot all of their hard drives but we wouldn't want to have any illegal operations.
 
2012-01-25 08:03:03 PM
Do you think he knows we already engage in cyberwar with these countries and is just scoring cheap points because he knows nobody is authorized to confirm that we do so? Or does he legitimately believe we don't do this already, in which case he is not competent enough to be shooting his mouth off about this?
 
2012-01-25 08:22:29 PM

CitizenTed: pickup. Leave the "complicated computer stuff" to us young(er) folk. OK?


you mean the nerds? (pops)
 
2012-01-25 08:27:35 PM

FishyFred: Do you think he knows we already engage in cyberwar with these countries and is just scoring cheap points because he knows nobody is authorized to confirm that we do so? Or does he legitimately believe we don't do this already, in which case he is not competent enough to be shooting his mouth off about this?


He's all about scoring points with the roman crowd, so I'll go with the first one.
 
2012-01-25 08:43:04 PM
So, Newt thinks cyberwarfare is basically a declaration of war, and he wants to declare war on China and Russia simultaneously? That seems intelligent.
 
2012-01-25 08:45:51 PM

gameshowhost: i39.tinypic.com


i don't know where that came from or how old it may be, but this is the first time i've seen it and i'm stealing it. i thought you should know that.
 
2012-01-25 08:50:22 PM

GAT_00: So, Newt thinks cyberwarfare is basically a declaration of war, and he wants to declare war on China and Russia simultaneously? That seems intelligent.


no he didn't say he wants to cyberattack back, just that "...we have to respond to that and create a level of pain which teaches people not to do it."

he's saying that all state secrets that are transferred online should first be encoded in graphic newt nudie pics.
 
2012-01-25 08:51:41 PM
That's ignorant.

Why don't we just breed some little tiny soldiers and send them down the tubes?
 
2012-01-25 08:52:31 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: That's ignorant.

Why don't we just breed some little tiny soldiers and send them down the tubes?


you fool, the dump truck-sized tanks would clog up everything.
 
2012-01-25 09:03:58 PM
We should create a GUI interface using Visual BASIC to track their IP address. Does the Pentagon have anyone working on anything like that?
 
2012-01-25 09:04:30 PM
Newts sites vanishing in 5 - 4 - 3 -
 
2012-01-25 09:04:56 PM
www.wired.com

then I grabbed her pussy like *this*
 
2012-01-25 09:05:50 PM
Meh. At least he knows how to use a computer. Nothing frightened me more about McCain that he didn't even understand how to check e-mail.
 
2012-01-25 09:06:59 PM
Yes, let's make enemies with China, that's an awesome idea.

Paging Jon Huntsman - smackdown required in aisle four.
 
2012-01-25 09:09:10 PM
haven't they learned don't fight the internet... when it finds out, you don't win...
 
2012-01-25 09:10:49 PM
I'm sure Newt then considers any company that sets up factories in China and let's the Chinese government steal all their technology to be traitors, right.
 
2012-01-25 09:11:58 PM
What is the cutoff, in y'all's opinions, in basic understanding of computers and the internet?

I'm 45 and it seems like just about anyone older than that is stuck in analog mode.
 
2012-01-25 09:12:38 PM

Virulency: haven't they learned don't fight the internet... when it finds out, you don't win...


the latest government research has been in making sure the internet doesn't find out. fun fact: last year, the CIA was involved in a large-scale data breach of millions of americans' private data, but no-one ever heard about it because 10 days before the attack went live, they introduced "planking" to facebook.
 
2012-01-25 09:14:25 PM

Shaggy_C: Meh. At least he knows how to use a computer. Nothing frightened me more about McCain that he didn't even understand how to check e-mail.


Any excuse to psot this again

img406.imageshack.us
 
2012-01-25 09:16:33 PM

timujin: CitizenTed: pickup. Leave the "complicated computer stuff" to us young(er) folk. OK?

you mean the nerds? (pops)



What the shiat.
I yearn for the day where someone calls me a nerd to my face just because my career is in computer science.
 
2012-01-25 09:18:28 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: timujin: CitizenTed: pickup. Leave the "complicated computer stuff" to us young(er) folk. OK?

you mean the nerds? (pops)


What the shiat.
I yearn for the day where someone calls me a nerd to my face just because my career is in computer science.


i really wish someone would have started their testimony by saying "you know, that is a derogatory remark based upon my chosen profession. i don't address you gentlemen as 'assholes' just because you are politicians." then i would go nerd out somewhere.
 
2012-01-25 09:19:06 PM
he's a dump truck.
 
2012-01-25 09:19:43 PM
Can't we just make a GUi in Visual Basic to track their IP addresses?
 
2012-01-25 09:22:24 PM
"And I think that we have to respond to that and create a level of pain which teaches people not to do it."

Pain? Pain. Jesus tapdancing Christ. When will he suggest the Thunderdome?
 
2012-01-25 09:23:06 PM
Maybe I am crazy but perhaps the best plan is to use some discretion and improve our capabilities and defenses by investing in infrastructure and education. This may mean higher taxes for people like Mitt Romney but I think if they are really interested in making America safer they will sacrifice.
 
2012-01-25 09:26:10 PM

mamoru: mitchcumstein1: Which internets?

ALL OF THEM.


i158.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-25 09:27:18 PM
a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
Newt-tron to the rescue!
 
2012-01-25 09:27:50 PM
Hey Newt, lets NOT go to war against other people please?

I don't care if its cyber or physical, I think most Americans are getting sick of war.
 
2012-01-25 09:30:20 PM

thomps: gameshowhost: i39.tinypic.com

i don't know where that came from or how old it may be, but this is the first time i've seen it and i'm stealing it. i thought you should know that.


That would make a good "Haters Gonna Hate"
 
2012-01-25 09:32:48 PM
I doubt Newt even knows what he's talking about. A young staffer put together something and Newt read it and sad "so we're going to war?" the staffer said "well, if that helps you it can kind seem like..." "War!" Newt yelled, giddy that he understood all this computer stuff "I know how to sell that!"

Now it's part of Newt's platform to fight all of America's enemies (that Obama hasn't killed which don't count because socialism).
 
2012-01-25 09:38:56 PM
We've always been at cyber-war with Eurasia.
 
2012-01-25 09:39:19 PM
""I think that we have to treat state-based covert activities as the equivalent of acts of war," Gingrich said"

But I suppose it's different when the US does it, right Newt?
 
2012-01-25 09:39:55 PM

odinsposse: I doubt Newt even knows what he's talking about. A young staffer put together something and Newt read it and sad "so we're going to war?" the staffer said "well, if that helps you it can kind seem like..." "War!" Newt yelled, giddy that he understood all this computer stuff "I know how to sell that!"

Now it's part of Newt's platform to fight all of America's enemies (that Obama hasn't killed which don't count because socialism).


Send in the Rangers!!!
www.frumforum.com
 
2012-01-25 09:39:57 PM

Shaggy_C: Meh. At least he knows how to use a computer. Nothing frightened me more about McCain that he didn't even understand how to check e-mail.


It's weird how he doesn't know how to check his own email, yet was able to write the "Internet Freedom Act".

I mean, it almost looks as if someone wrote the act for him, and then gave him a bunch of money to push it.

Jeez, I hope they give out free tin foil hats with that act, because my theory is completely wacky and unlikely to be true!
 
2012-01-25 09:42:19 PM

CitizenTed: Dear Old People;
Stop talking about, and attempting to engage in serious discussions about, computer technology. You didn't get it back then and you don't get it now. You never will get it. So please go back to what you know: clipping coupons, mowing the lawn, and changing the oil in the pickup. Leave the "complicated computer stuff" to us young(er) folk. OK? Thx. Now go on into the buffet. We gotta catch up on a few things and the smartphone won't work as well inside. Go on now! Go on! We'll be there in a minute.


I'll stop the computer stuff if you stop using commas.
 
2012-01-25 09:43:48 PM
He really seems to be hoping for some sort of war.
 
2012-01-25 09:44:43 PM

A Dark Evil Omen: We should create a GUI interface using Visual BASIC to track their IP address. Does the Pentagon have anyone working on anything like that?


It's time to do some serious hacking.
 
2012-01-25 09:45:10 PM

KarmicDisaster: He really seems to be hoping for some sort of war.


It's the Republican way.
 
2012-01-25 09:47:03 PM

jayhawk88: A Dark Evil Omen: We should create a GUI interface using Visual BASIC to track their IP address. Does the Pentagon have anyone working on anything like that?

It's time to do some serious hacking.


OH MY GOD! Why am I just now seeing this?
 
2012-01-25 09:47:08 PM
1980s: The Superpowers have relaxed. The Cold War has found detente. The world begins to speak of disarmament, SALT I & II have been signed. The conversation in international policy turns to quality of life in the third world.

Then Reagan starts talking about winning wars with Russia.

This opens the door to unprecedented defense spending, supported by a neo-paranoid American public.

This has a ring.
 
2012-01-25 09:54:49 PM

CitizenTed: Dear Old People;
Stop talking about, and attempting to engage in serious discussions about, computer technology. You didn't get it back then and you don't get it now. You never will get it. So please go back to what you know: clipping coupons, mowing the lawn, and changing the oil in the pickup. Leave the "complicated computer stuff" to us young(er) folk. OK? Thx. Now go on into the buffet. We gotta catch up on a few things and the smartphone won't work as well inside. Go on now! Go on! We'll be there in a minute.


Well, that's nice and all... but it would look funny if you accepted this bribe, seeing as how you aren't important. You see, us old folk know how to shove a suitcase full of used bills under a mattress, whereas you youngsters would probably spend it on the drugs and the dubstep and whatnot.

So, basically, go fark yourself. I'll legislate as I'm told, unless you can outbid the MPAA and RIAA. If you have a problem with that, maybe you should try doing my job.

Otherwise, fark you.
 
2012-01-25 09:55:04 PM

2wolves: Own Gateway stock Mr. Gingrich?


I'm betting he still owns Netscape.
 
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