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(KVUE Austin)   Pastor converts 5 year old neighbor. To atheism. By throwing her cat off of a bridge   (kvue.com) divider line 263
    More: Weird, Bastrop, animal cruelty, Colorado River  
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14606 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2012 at 6:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-25 06:39:57 PM
But remember, God is a loving God. And made us in his image.
 
2012-01-25 06:40:12 PM

flamingboard: Was the cat a librul?


nah, your thinking how Arkansas handles cats....Texas Jr. if you will....

WTF?really? (new window)
 
2012-01-25 06:40:13 PM
Man, I got a paragraph in and saw that the guy was trapping feral cats and thought "OK, the cat was probably untagged and the pastor just sacked and drowned the thing without realizing it was domesticated. Sad, but not really his fault".

Turns out I was way the hell off on that one. Really, three days in the back of a truck without seeing the tags? Killing the animal after you told the cops you were returning it? Throwing it off a goddamned bridge instead of just chucking it in the water like a normal person?

What the fark, dude?

For reference: drowning is actually the usual method to dispose of feral animals, etc in the countryside. Set a humane trap, check to make sure you actually got the raccoon/squirrel/whatever that's eating your garden instead of someone's disobedient puppy or something, toss trap in lake to kill animal. The humane trap is to avoid accidentally killing a domestic animal, not because anyone actually cares about strays, and you drown things because it kills things quickly without the expense or danger to the vet of an injection or the potential collateral damage of a bullet. Just making sure that's out there, since I know that people that have never dealt with animals will probably get on me about being fine with the "chuck 'em in the river" bit.

//You don't keep your trapped animals in the traps for several days, though, dude needs a good whack upside the head for that. Not so much because of the poor widdle animals as because that's a good way to end up with them escaping with a nasty, communicable infection and an axe to grind.
 
2012-01-25 06:42:28 PM

Hector Remarkable: AverageAmericanGuy: Combustion: AverageAmericanGuy: It's a goddamned cat. So what?

You're a goddamned douche. So what?

See how that works?

No one is prosecuting me because I'm a douche.

Notice the difference?

No, but they do have douche traps set, and they might just keep you in the back of the truck for three days.


Don't be ridiculous. They don't have those.

Hey, is that a Drakkar delivery truck outside?
 
2012-01-25 06:42:31 PM
Presumed innocence.

Oh, did you say "pastor"?

CONVICTED BY THE PEOPLE!

/he's probably guilty.
//would love to go back and time but this time, "an atheist throws little girl's cat off of bridge" and see what changes in the comments here.
 
2012-01-25 06:42:42 PM

Now now, let's not get angry. I suggest we follow Christian teachings....

3.bp.blogspot.com

Laying on of hands.

4.bp.blogspot.com
Anointing with oil.


www.examiner.com
By their fruits, ye shall know them.
 
2012-01-25 06:43:29 PM
Maybe God's not such a bad guy. Perhaps he's just shiatty at choosing his representatives
 
2012-01-25 06:43:58 PM

Jingo Ate Your Baby: Having said that, I am from DeepSouthHellhole and I knew tons of people who believed that crap about cats sucking breath from babies and it has to be the dumbest superstition I've ever heard.


To be fair, at least not letting the cat lie on the baby is a reasonable thing to want to prevent (one word: kneading). Not quite as pointless as the spilled salt over the shoulder thing, for instance.
 
2012-01-25 06:44:58 PM

tortilla burger: Maybe God's not such a bad guy


If it exists, it's either evil, incompetent, or entirely disinterested.

There are no other options.
 
2012-01-25 06:45:52 PM
s2s2s2: //would love to go back and time but this time, "an atheist throws little girl's cat off of bridge" and see what changes in the comments here.

we'd heap our praise upon him, saying that we're glad he cast the beast off into nothingness. Then we'd lament that it wasn't a Christian baby. But hey, this is a good start.

You shiatbag.
 
2012-01-25 06:46:10 PM

oilfieldtrash39565: Coelacanth: I can't think of a worst thing to be than a goddamn Christian.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life either.

/Just saying.


You might want to tell that to the pastor Link (new window)
 
2012-01-25 06:46:12 PM

s2s2s2: Presumed innocence.

Oh, did you say "pastor"?

CONVICTED BY THE PEOPLE!

/he's probably guilty.
//would love to go back and time but this time, "an atheist throws little girl's cat off of bridge" and see what changes in the comments here.


Give me a farking break. Killing a cat in that manner, when he KNOWS who's farking cat it is is just all kinds of evil. The fact that he's a bleating godbotherer is merely the icing on the cake.
 
2012-01-25 06:46:46 PM
i52.photobucket.com
 
jvl
2012-01-25 06:47:34 PM

Splinshints: If it exists, it's either evil, incompetent, or entirely disinterested.


I let my children skin their knees sometimes even though I can prevent it. Am I evil, incompetent, or entirely disinterested?
 
2012-01-25 06:48:33 PM
When Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people die!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-01-25 06:49:09 PM

Splinshints: tortilla burger: Maybe God's not such a bad guy

If it exists, it's either evil, incompetent, or entirely disinterested.

There are no other options.


So, then, what's it's Fark handle?
 
2012-01-25 06:49:39 PM
Isn't this 4 days early?
 
2012-01-25 06:51:45 PM
The girl should be allowed to throw the 'pastor' off of the same bridge. Kit for cat.

My hatred list:
1) child abusers
2) animal abusers
3) spousal abusers
4) Nickleback
5) spiders
6) family
7) really rotten farts that aren't mine
8) skinheads
et al.
 
2012-01-25 06:52:23 PM

Coelacanth: I can't think of a worst thing to be than a goddamn Christian.


You know, not all Christians act like douchebags.
 
2012-01-25 06:53:57 PM
/b/ will make short work of this prick.
 
2012-01-25 06:56:09 PM
Wait a sec here. Has anyone thought that maybe the cat was a dick?
 
2012-01-25 06:56:52 PM

Hawnkee: /b/ will make short work of this prick.


They going to DDOS his website?
Send large pizza orders to his house?
Make funny image files with his picture and a clever quip on the bottom?

Oh noes!
 
2012-01-25 06:57:31 PM
Satan doesn't need to send demons to Earth. Christians do all of the infernal work for Him.
 
2012-01-25 06:57:45 PM
I'll always have indoor cats. Always. Can't trust the locals with my little friends.
 
2012-01-25 06:58:37 PM

Splinshints: tortilla burger: Maybe God's not such a bad guy

If it exists, it's either evil, incompetent, or entirely disinterested.

There are no other options.


We could be entirely mistaken in our conception of 'good' and 'evil', potentially. Maybe the overriding moral concerns that God is trying to impart are more

F = G*m1*m2/r^2

and

phi.e = Q/permitivity

than

"thou shalt not murder"

and

"honor your father and mother".

I mean, I know which rules he enforces more harshly, for sure.
 
2012-01-25 06:59:37 PM

Jim_Callahan: Man, I got a paragraph in and saw that the guy was trapping feral cats and thought "OK, the cat was probably untagged and the pastor just sacked and drowned the thing without realizing it was domesticated. Sad, but not really his fault".

Turns out I was way the hell off on that one. Really, three days in the back of a truck without seeing the tags? Killing the animal after you told the cops you were returning it? Throwing it off a goddamned bridge instead of just chucking it in the water like a normal person?

What the fark, dude?

For reference: drowning is actually the usual method to dispose of feral animals, etc in the countryside. Set a humane trap, check to make sure you actually got the raccoon/squirrel/whatever that's eating your garden instead of someone's disobedient puppy or something, toss trap in lake to kill animal. The humane trap is to avoid accidentally killing a domestic animal, not because anyone actually cares about strays, and you drown things because it kills things quickly without the expense or danger to the vet of an injection or the potential collateral damage of a bullet. Just making sure that's out there, since I know that people that have never dealt with animals will probably get on me about being fine with the "chuck 'em in the river" bit.

//You don't keep your trapped animals in the traps for several days, though, dude needs a good whack upside the head for that. Not so much because of the poor widdle animals as because that's a good way to end up with them escaping with a nasty, communicable infection and an axe to grind.




It's funny that you're concerned with "humane" treatment of animals, because drowning is one of the most horrific ways of killing an animal. It would be kinder to bash its head in with a hammer. At least then it's over quickly.

To compare, have someone who doesn't like you very much, hold your head underwater for three minutes, not letting go no matter how much you struggle. Then you'll know what drowning feels like and you'll stop doing it to caged animals.

Hopefully you won't last the three minutes and we'll be rid of you, which would be a bonus.
 
2012-01-25 07:00:20 PM

Coelacanth: I can't think of a worst thing to be than a goddamn Christian.


You're catching a lot of shiat for your comment. But you know, judging by what I've seen and heard coming from these peoples pieholes in recent years, I have a hard time arguing with you.

Though I'd probably expand it to cover most major religions.
 
2012-01-25 07:01:11 PM

TV's Vinnie: Satan doesn't need to send demons to Earth. Christians do all of the infernal work for Him Cats are already here..

 
2012-01-25 07:01:30 PM
There is a huge difference between someone who doesn't like cats and a cat hater (like this assclown). Cat haters are usually insecure control freaks who feel threatened by anything they don't have power over - which is also a good description of most staunchly religious people.
 
2012-01-25 07:02:47 PM

trippdogg: There is a huge difference between someone who doesn't like cats and a cat hater (like this assclown). Cat haters are usually insecure control freaks who feel threatened by anything they don't have power over - which is also a good description of most staunchly religious people.


Exhibit A - The uncontrollable, unredeemable and sexy criminal in the Batman series is the Catwoman. Cats are Eve brought to life. Cats are evil.
 
2012-01-25 07:03:41 PM

I_C_Weener: Wait a sec here. Has anyone thought that maybe the cat was a dick?


That's funny because your Fark handle has the word Weener in it.
 
2012-01-25 07:03:58 PM

SchadenFraud: Riche: Well, if i were the father in that family I would at the very least be spending the next several Sundays in front of the pastor's church with a sign saying "pastor Bartlett slowly tortured and killed my little girl's cat." I would also hand out flyers with a link to a website laying out all the info.

Assuming the church had a board of directors, I would be on the phone with every one of those members making sure they knew what the man did.

It may not do any good (especially it being Texas and all) but who knows?

Actually, Bastrop is just outside Austin, which has become so liberal it had to be split up into multiple voting districts to dilute its influence on Texas politics.
This guy is going to have a rough time of it for a while from Austin animal lovers. I hope he does lose his position, permanently. Our pets provide the purest
form of love most of us will ever see and should be used as an example of God's love, not tossed off a bridge. "Christians" like this guy really piss me off.


Authoritarians hate cats because they don't recognize authority. That includes god's, obviously.

Taking, hurting or killing a pet is also a great way to control a child. But Pastor Bastard Bartlett surely had no beef with the neighbor child - he was probably reliving a lesson taught him in his own childhood.
 
2012-01-25 07:05:09 PM

Splinshints: tortilla burger: Maybe God's not such a bad guy

If it exists, it's either evil, incompetent, or entirely disinterested.

There are no other options.


My vote is for disinterested.

If it is evil, then we could get people torturing other peop...........

OK.

But if it is incompetent then we might get something like a mammal that lays..............

Nevermind.
 
2012-01-25 07:05:20 PM

That "man of god" might find himself shaking hands wid Jeebus if he tried to put his sticky hands on one o' my cats. God I love livin in Texas.



Sec. 9.42. DEADLY FORCE TO PROTECT PROPERTY. A person is justified in using deadly force against another to protect land or tangible, movable property:

(1) if he would be justified in using force against the other under Section 9.41; and
(2) when and to the degree he reasonably believes the deadly force is immediately necessary:

(A) to prevent the other's imminent commission of arson, burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, theft during the nighttime, or criminal mischief during the nighttime; or

(B) to prevent the other who is fleeing immediately after committing burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, or theft during the nighttime from escaping with the property;


In other words, preacher-boy touches my cats, I draw and cock. He turns to run and the last thing he hears is the sound of thunder.
 
2012-01-25 07:07:04 PM
"She knows the man who did this is a pastor at the Bastrop Christian Church and she said, 'I don't believe in Heaven anymore, Moody's just dead.'"


As a pastor, he should know what Jesus said about stuff like this:

"If anyone causes one of these little ones - those who believe in me - to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
 
2012-01-25 07:08:00 PM

Jim_Callahan: Jingo Ate Your Baby: Having said that, I am from DeepSouthHellhole and I knew tons of people who believed that crap about cats sucking breath from babies and it has to be the dumbest superstition I've ever heard.

To be fair, at least not letting the cat lie on the baby is a reasonable thing to want to prevent (one word: kneading). Not quite as pointless as the spilled salt over the shoulder thing, for instance.


Well yeah, there are lots of reasons to not let a cat near your baby; my cat likes to punch and run and attack the drawstrings on my clothes. I'm just amazed at the kinds of things that people really believe. I had a friend say that baby air suck thing to me and I tried to be as rude as possible in telling her that she was too farking old to believe that crap. I'm not usually a "what you believe is dumb" kind of person. I chuckle privately (at fan death).
 
2012-01-25 07:08:55 PM
Meh, some Korean was probably waiting at the bottom, meow yung chicken sounds good right now.
 
2012-01-25 07:09:17 PM

fat boy: Was it the Rainbow Bridge?


You monster.
 
2012-01-25 07:09:27 PM

Splinshints: 'I don't believe in Heaven anymore, Moody's just dead.'"


i40.tinypic.com
 
2012-01-25 07:09:53 PM

safetycap: That "man of god" might find himself shaking hands wid Jeebus if he tried to put his sticky hands on one o' my cats. God I love livin in Texas.



Sec. 9.42. DEADLY FORCE TO PROTECT PROPERTY. A person is justified in using deadly force against another to protect land or tangible, movable property:

(1) if he would be justified in using force against the other under Section 9.41; and
(2) when and to the degree he reasonably believes the deadly force is immediately necessary:

(A) to prevent the other's imminent commission of arson, burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, theft during the nighttime, or criminal mischief during the nighttime; or

(B) to prevent the other who is fleeing immediately after committing burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, or theft during the nighttime from escaping with the property;


In other words, preacher-boy touches my cats, I draw and cock. He turns to run and the last thing he hears is the sound of thunder.


4.bp.blogspot.com

Now go clean your room like you were told.
 
2012-01-25 07:10:05 PM
Another feline tragedy this week?

I need to go snuggle my cat.
 
2012-01-25 07:10:46 PM

tlchwi02: i don't support cruelty to animals and this man is obviously callous and pretty evil for starving and then throwing it in a river.

but i'm also not nearly as sympathetic because these people were letting their cat run around free. cat's are very destructive to local small animals and environments. They're also not well suited to life outdoors vis a vis traffic, coyotes, large raptors, traps, etc. If this guy had gone full psycho and kidnapped the thing from their porch or something to torture, i'd have a lot more sympathy. but you let your pet run wild, chances are pretty good its not going to end well for the pet and its irresponsible of you to let that happen


Agreed. It's hard to pick a side between grossly irresponsible pet owners on one hand and religious assholes on the other.
 
2012-01-25 07:14:58 PM

trippdogg: There is a huge difference between someone who doesn't like cats and a cat hater (like this assclown). Cat haters are usually insecure control freaks who feel threatened by anything they don't have power over - which is also a good description of most staunchly religious people.


Case in point, courtesy of everyone's favorite Christian conservative psychopath, James Dobson. (new window)
 
2012-01-25 07:17:34 PM

abb3w: Splinshints: Sadly, this also means that callous, disgusting monsters like the pastor who tortured and killed your cat will never ultimately suffer any real consequences for their abhorrent and immoral actions.

Depends on whether or not little miss godless grows up to be a vicious psychopathic vigilante.


Always with the positive messages full of hope, you.

mamasoozinnerpieces.files.wordpress.com
/Would like a word
 
2012-01-25 07:19:05 PM

The Blind Fury: You know, not all Christians act like douchebags.


Old enough to know better: You're catching a lot of shiat for your comment. But you know, judging by what I've seen and heard coming from these peoples pieholes in recent years, I have a hard time arguing with you.


Ladies and gentlemen, the immortal Mrs. Betty Bowers Link (new window)
 
2012-01-25 07:19:14 PM
Horrendous. That "pastor" is muy loco. God bless the poor kitty and her family.
 
2012-01-25 07:21:08 PM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Riche: Well, if i were the father in that family I would at the very least be spending the next several Sundays in front of the pastor's church with a sign saying "pastor Bartlett slowly tortured and killed my little girl's cat." I would also hand out flyers with a link to a website laying out all the info.

Assuming the church had a board of directors, I would be on the phone with every one of those members making sure they knew what the man did.

It may not do any good (especially it being Texas and all) but who knows?

There will be no shortage of members from his church defending his actions and trying to intimidate this family into letting the whole thing go. I would not be surprised in the least if a follow-up story came out about the family receiving death threats.


And they'll be grateful for the opportunity to do their Christian duty.

/CATS BELONG TO TEH DEBIL!!!!
 
2012-01-25 07:22:55 PM
Jesus Goddam Christ!
 
2012-01-25 07:23:25 PM
Glad this will be getting to his congregation so they know who is caring for their souls'.
 
2012-01-25 07:24:57 PM

safetycap: That "man of god" might find himself shaking hands wid Jeebus if he tried to put his sticky hands on one o' my cats. God I love livin in Texas.
...
Sec. 9.42. DEADLY FORCE TO PROTECT PROPERTY.


Not quite as shooty, but California has this guy:

California Civil Code Section 3340:

For wrongful injuries to animals being subjects of property, committed willfully or by gross negligence, in disregard of humanity, exemplary damages may be given.


So, if you're a giant douche and injure a cat, you might not get away with paying the only the "replacement" value.
 
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