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(Gizmodo) Weird And lo, the lamb opened the seventh seal and saw that Fleshlight is developing an iPad case you can have sex with (Not safe for work)   (gizmodo.com) divider line 56
More: Weird, iPads, Geekosystem  
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7343 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Jan 2012 at 12:26 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-01-25 11:22:09 AM
Ok, I'm done. Guys controlling the rotation of the earth, if you please?
 
2012-01-25 11:29:08 AM
Is this not the ultimate Apple Fanboy desire, to actually fark their machines? Perhaps Siri could talk dirty to them as well.

/not looking forward to my Subway commute once this is in production.
 
2012-01-25 11:30:19 AM
I would hope that it would come with a waterproof screen cover as well. I don't know if you know this or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
 
2012-01-25 11:53:11 AM
Want.

Not so I can have sex with an IPad but rather, as a new means of holding it.
 
2012-01-25 12:15:00 PM
If they invented one with an opening on either side, it would give those iPad owners who can't land a real threesome the possibility of simulating one. I could even see a market for models posing in very specifically staged positions so that they appear, um, lifelike from the perspective of the live participants. Maybe there could even be some sort of app development where people could flip and rotate the model as the encounter progressed. Think big, people.
 
2012-01-25 12:30:00 PM
{sortofwant.jpg}
 
2012-01-25 12:30:00 PM
Frank Zappa was prophetic.
 
2012-01-25 12:32:52 PM
I understand the need to censor the image in the article, but did they really need to hire The Rock to do it?
 
2012-01-25 12:35:01 PM
Because People in power are Stupid: Want.

Not so I can have sex with an IPad but rather, as a new means of holding it.


I hear ya. It's inconvenient as hell when the wife and I are in bed watching a movie to hold the thing for two hours. If we had this, I could hold the iPad, and she could tickle my balls until she had the viewing angle that she wanted.
 
2012-01-25 12:45:48 PM
 
2012-01-25 12:48:49 PM
DarnoKonrad: Frank Zappa was prophetic.

I just want to know whether it comes in both Sy Borg and Modified Gay Bob Doll or if that will become the new iOS v. android divide.
 
2012-01-25 12:51:40 PM
Reminds me of the FUFME gag (NSFW)... except they're serious.

Sex is a messy prospect, and that particular kind of mess does not mix well with consumer electronics. And you thought smudgy fingerprints were bad...
=Smidge=
 
2012-01-25 12:51:57 PM
Like Apple will let any content developed to, eghem, enhance this device be sold from the App Store. Maybe an Android device might tie-in better.
 
2012-01-25 01:00:55 PM
Misch: And an XBox modder has released a controller for the XBox 360 that dispenses Hot Pockets. Your move, Apple.

That video made me want to punch someone. Show the farking mod at the beginning of your 14 minute video, not at minute 13.
 
2012-01-25 01:01:48 PM
unyon: Because People in power are Stupid: Want.

Not so I can have sex with an IPad but rather, as a new means of holding it.

I hear ya. It's inconvenient as hell when the wife and I are in bed watching a movie to hold the thing for two hours. If we had this, I could hold the iPad, and she could tickle my balls until she had the viewing angle that she wanted.


Get one of these (new window). No more holding the iPad while you watch a movie. Works great.
 
2012-01-25 01:01:50 PM
A whole new use for facetime. You thought the 900 lines were expensive.
 
2012-01-25 01:08:52 PM
Lustful curves indeed.

/The hell did I just read?
 
2012-01-25 01:10:23 PM
i478.photobucket.com

/history repeats itself....
 
2012-01-25 01:20:22 PM
Interesting...
 
2012-01-25 01:22:17 PM
madgonad: Like Apple will let any content developed to, eghem, enhance this device be sold from the App Store. Maybe an Android device might tie-in better.

Yeah, you need an app where the audio responds to the accelerometer.
 
2012-01-25 01:22:24 PM
Next will be a version that has 2 openings so you can run a virtual train on anyone.
 
2012-01-25 01:23:30 PM
And for gays, don't worry, I'm sure there will be a version that dispenses santorum while you go buck wild.
 
2012-01-25 01:30:17 PM
Pocket Ninja: If they invented one with an opening on either side, it would give those iPad owners who can't land a real threesome the possibility of simulating one. I could even see a market for models posing in very specifically staged positions so that they appear, um, lifelike from the perspective of the live participants. Maybe there could even be some sort of app development where people could flip and rotate the model as the encounter progressed. Think big, people.


But "a threesome doesn't count if there is more than one man involved"
-Confucian proverb.
 
2012-01-25 01:35:12 PM
Back in my day, I'd just use a hole-in-the-sheet.
 
2012-01-25 01:46:53 PM
This is actually kind of genius and it seems so simple that I'm surprised it wasn't thought of earlier.

I wonder how many people are going to end up breaking their ipads by being too vigorous though?
 
2012-01-25 01:47:49 PM
If you can blow your sticky spoo all over an iPad, then you obviously have too much money and don't deserve to own such nice things.
 
2012-01-25 01:48:29 PM
But what if I accidentally the whole thing?
 
2012-01-25 01:48:51 PM
Old news to Final Cut Pro users; Apple's farked us for years.
 
2012-01-25 01:50:46 PM
I don't see the point. As far as any realism goes, its worse than a blow-up doll. Even with integrated video to match you thrust-for-thrust you're still obviously f*cking a rectangle. Watch the screen, use the Fleshlight, but don't mount the thing on the screen.
 
2012-01-25 01:53:37 PM
So what happens when you are going hot and heavy and your mom rings in on Skype?
 
2012-01-25 01:54:59 PM
I know there's a Santorum.com joke here somewhere......
 
2012-01-25 01:55:51 PM
Knara: Get one of these (new window). No more holding the iPad while you watch a movie. Works great.

LOL
I like that they make one with a keyboard ....
so close
 
2012-01-25 01:57:30 PM
what the everloving fark
 
2012-01-25 02:03:14 PM
Prof.Farnsworth.jpeg
 
2012-01-25 02:14:08 PM
Ennuipoet: Is this not the ultimate Apple Fanboy desire, to actually fark their machines? Perhaps Siri could talk dirty to them as well.

no wonder the article is from gizmodo
 
2012-01-25 02:16:43 PM
Devolving_Spud: So what happens when you are going hot and heavy and your mom rings in on Skype?

She fixes the cable?
 
2012-01-25 02:17:37 PM
That will keep people from wanting to touch my iPad.
 
2012-01-25 02:19:13 PM
Eddie Adams from Torrance: I know there's a Santorum.com joke here somewhere......

so for people who want the anal experience (fleshlight makes a version)
do they have to smear feces on their fleshlight to get a more realistic experience?

bwhahahahahahahahahahaha
 
2012-01-25 02:23:34 PM
swahnhennessy: I don't see the point. As far as any realism goes, its worse than a blow-up doll. Even with integrated video to match you thrust-for-thrust you're still obviously f*cking a rectangle. Watch the screen, use the Fleshlight, but don't mount the thing on the screen.

um
do you not understand how porn works?
my guess is that realism has nothing to do with it ...
it is a POV thing ...

"oo look, my penis is going right into their orifice"

this has nothing to do with realism ... it is porn


plus
fleshlights feel great, cheaper than whores, dont biatch when you dont call them back
at least that's what I heard ...
 
2012-01-25 02:44:53 PM
namatad: fleshlights feel great, cheaper than whores, dont biatch when you dont call them back
at least that's what I heard ...


We must have same friends. They also tell me that you don't have to try to wine-and-dine the goddamn fleshlight, and then have it complain later that it feels all bloated and fat, and doesn't want to have sex.
 
2012-01-25 03:10:35 PM
images.flabber.nl

Probably more convenient than this.
 
2012-01-25 03:19:05 PM
Two Hearted: namatad: fleshlights feel great, cheaper than whores, dont biatch when you dont call them back
at least that's what I heard ...

We must have same friends. They also tell me that you don't have to try to wine-and-dine the goddamn fleshlight, and then have it complain later that it feels all bloated and fat, and doesn't want to have sex.


wants you to share your feelings, meets its friends and parents, move in together, not kick its retarded cat, children

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
2012-01-25 03:22:54 PM
Does the iPad have a built-in vibrator like the iPhone?
 
2012-01-25 03:30:26 PM
If you love that iPad so much why don't you marry it?
 
2012-01-25 03:32:40 PM
namatad: not kick its retarded cat

That all sounds too familiar, but her retarded cat became my awesome cat. He's a great judge of character, apparently.
 
2012-01-25 06:24:51 PM
IrateShadow: Misch: And an XBox modder has released a controller for the XBox 360 that dispenses Hot Pockets. Your move, Apple.

That video made me want to punch someone. Show the farking mod at the beginning of your 14 minute video, not at minute 13.


Awesome. Thanks for posting this... I skipped to the 13th minute and avoided all the BS. You, sir and/or ma'am, are a saint.
 
2012-01-25 06:39:21 PM
Sex toys are for people so ugly, even they won't fark them.
 
2012-01-25 06:57:58 PM
Am I the only one who scrolled down to the comments for a serious WTF moment?

No thanks; I've no need for that silly contraption.

img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-01-25 07:02:33 PM
Rule 34
 
2012-01-25 07:02:51 PM
fusillade762: Am I the only one who scrolled down to the comments for a serious WTF moment?

No thanks; I've no need for that silly contraption.

[img.gawkerassets.com image 300x225]


Does anyone happen to have the unshopped version of that? Its for a friend.
 
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