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(Cracked)   "Snow White in Narnia has been greenlit? What about Snow and the Seven Kung Fu Badasses?" How Hollywood has decided to reboot classic children's tales   (cracked.com) divider line 56
    More: Strange, kung fu, Hollywood, the Great, Hot Pockets, phone sex, orphans, reboot, fairy tales  
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4847 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Jan 2012 at 1:32 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-25 11:14:44 AM
i522.photobucket.com
 
2012-01-25 11:48:28 AM
Okay, I give Cracked a lot of leeway when it comes to their lists but WTF was that abortion of an article?
 
2012-01-25 11:50:11 AM
Yeah Yeah Yeah when does the next Kung-Fu Panda come out?
 
2012-01-25 12:25:54 PM

brigid_fitch: Okay, I give Cracked a lot of leeway when it comes to their lists but WTF was that abortion of an article?


I am so with you.

I actually like Cracked's lists, but this blog is just drivel.
 
2012-01-25 01:06:47 PM

DjangoStonereaver: brigid_fitch: Okay, I give Cracked a lot of leeway when it comes to their lists but WTF was that abortion of an article?

I am so with you.

I actually like Cracked's lists, but this blog is just drivel.


The worst part is, I'm sure there's a Hollywood exec somewhere reading this and getting ideas.
 
2012-01-25 01:36:37 PM
But will any of the Snow White movies have Stealthy?
 
2012-01-25 01:40:16 PM

texdent: But will any of the Snow White movies have Stealthy?


He's in all of them, he's just that good, you'd never know.
 
2012-01-25 01:49:59 PM
I still want to see Snow White and the seven samurai.
 
2012-01-25 01:53:15 PM
I refuse to read this.
 
2012-01-25 01:57:21 PM
I don't care what anyone says....I liked Sucker Punch.

localmoviereview.com

I heard all the bad reviews and went in expecting to hate it and I thought it was a lot of fun and visually stunning.


/the skimpy outfits and battle mechs helped too.
//Carla Gugino...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

ramascreen.com
 
2012-01-25 01:59:02 PM

DjangoStonereaver: I actually like Cracked's lists, but this blog is just drivel.


It would have to be a bit more coherent to be drivel.
 
2012-01-25 02:03:24 PM
Mirror Mirror looks like silly (ABC Disney Miniseries) fun. Snow White and the Huntsman looks like more of that Twilight-ization daytime soap opera crap trend like Red Riding Hood and I am Number 4.
 
2012-01-25 02:05:16 PM

DjangoStonereaver: brigid_fitch: Okay, I give Cracked a lot of leeway when it comes to their lists but WTF was that abortion of an article?

I am so with you.

I actually like Cracked's lists, but this blog is just drivel.


What a pile of shiat... Is it supposed to be 'edgy' of some kind of 'steam of consciousness' crap? If it's the latter, I've got a friend they need to hire. Her stuff is all over the place, but it's funny as Hell. This mess just gives you a headache.

As for the lists, they are SO off and on. Some are great, and I fell more fulfilled for having read them. Unfortunately, the majority are just stupid, pure opinion, snarky and boring. It's a slim majority, but it's there. I guess what I'm saying is that Cracked could fall off the face of the earth, and I wouldn't miss it, but while it's here, it's always worth taking the chance of losing time that you will never recover.
 
2012-01-25 02:06:27 PM

solcofn: I heard all the bad reviews and went in expecting to hate it and I thought it was a lot of fun and visually stunning.


/the skimpy outfits and battle mechs helped too.
//Carla Gugino...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.



Yeah, if they had just skipped the story, I would have loved it. Seriously, 2 hours of skimpy schoolgirls kicking ass and hanging out with mechs would have been sublime pleasure...
 
2012-01-25 02:08:53 PM

nocturn: Snow White and the Huntsman looks like more of that Twilight-ization daytime soap opera crap trend like Red Riding Hood and I am Number 4.


I've only seen one trailer so far, and it seemed ok. Darker than anything that could be called 'Twilight-ization', I'll withhold judgement until I read a few reviews and hear the general buzz, but I haven't written it off completely.

Yet.
 
2012-01-25 02:09:48 PM

RedPhoenix122: The worst part is, I'm sure there's a Hollywood exec somewhere reading this and getting ideas.


Relax, Hollywood doesn't do ideas:

Highest-grossing films of 2011
1 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
2 Transformers: Dark of the Moon
3 Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
4 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1
5 Kung Fu Panda 2
6 Fast Five
7 The Hangover Part II
8 The Smurfs
9 Cars 2
10 Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
 
2012-01-25 02:11:51 PM
who actually cares?
 
2012-01-25 02:19:58 PM

solcofn: I don't care what anyone says....I liked Sucker Punch.

[localmoviereview.com image 570x370]

I heard all the bad reviews and went in expecting to hate it and I thought it was a lot of fun and visually stunning.


/the skimpy outfits and battle mechs helped too.
//Carla Gugino...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[ramascreen.com image 640x480]


I'm usually the first one to defend Zack Snyder, but Sucker Punch was an extremely poor story simply used as an excuse to string together some visually stunning, but incongruent, action sequences.
 
2012-01-25 02:29:02 PM

nocturn: Snow White and the Huntsman looks like more of that Twilight-ization daytime soap opera crap trend like Red Riding Hood and I am Number 4.


Because those two movies did so well, they need to carry on that trend?
 
2012-01-25 02:32:35 PM
For gods sake, hollywood, you're looking for cross over films when the internet has demanding this for over a decade?

www.reflective.net

Just have 16th century Pirates get blown off course and land in Japan! It practically writes itself.
 
2012-01-25 02:32:48 PM
Apropo FTFA: "BAM! Greenlit!"

/whatthefarkamireading.jpg
 
2012-01-25 02:50:35 PM

serpent_sky: nocturn: Snow White and the Huntsman looks like more of that Twilight-ization daytime soap opera crap trend like Red Riding Hood and I am Number 4.

Because those two movies did so well, they need to carry on that trend?


Does that ever stop them?
 
2012-01-25 03:02:50 PM

serpent_sky: nocturn: Snow White and the Huntsman looks like more of that Twilight-ization daytime soap opera crap trend like Red Riding Hood and I am Number 4.

Because those two movies did so well, they need to carry on that trend?


Yep.

Red Riding Hood (new window)
Production: $42m
Wordlwide Gross: $89m

I am Number Four (new window)
Production: $60m
Wordlwide Gross: $144m
 
2012-01-25 03:08:26 PM
Cracked does a good job with their lists and their videos, but their articles written in this style leave a lot to be desired.

None of these guys are really on the level of the National Lampoon-level satire they're trying to emulate, and it shows when you read one of their abortions of an attempt at it.
 
2012-01-25 03:11:28 PM
Funny how people get so worked up over this sort of thing. Most of the "classic children's tales" everyone whines about being rebooted/mashed-up/reimagined are themselves rebooted/mashed-up/reimagined versions of previous tales.
 
2012-01-25 03:14:46 PM
I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

csusmpride.com
 
2012-01-25 03:25:14 PM
I'm actually working on a neoconservative version of the Lord of the Rings for limited release. Basically Obama is the second coming of the antichrist (aka Sauron) and a small group of rebels has to stop him by bringing the birth certificate to DC. We'll have to start in the shire (Omaha, NE) and work our way across the treacherous NE which is filled with liberals who want to team with the Orks in the Democratic party. The party will be a diverse cast for the fellowship. We'll have four white college republican males, a white man businessman, a white male member of the clery, a female white housewife, a white male job creator, and a white male local Christian politician. 9 walkers vs. the 9 Marxist riders


/got nothing to entertain us since the article sucks
//poor P.L. excuse, sorry
///can try one to reverse characters
 
2012-01-25 03:26:40 PM

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Funny how people get so worked up over this sort of thing. Most of the "classic children's tales" everyone whines about being rebooted/mashed-up/reimagined are themselves rebooted/mashed-up/reimagined versions of previous tales.


Just going back to their roots would be an excellent reason to reboot. I'd be all for that. The old days were scary and dark. Moral fantasy should return to what made it great in the first place - dark and mean.

No Tim Burton, not yours. Terry Gilliam can do one or two if he promises to give it the Tidelands treatment. Tidelands was as close to Brothers Grimm as you get nowadays. Great film.
 
2012-01-25 03:28:24 PM

PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]



It's a mix between stupid and interesting. It's somewhat fun to find out how they mix up the different tails.

Plus evil queen sex slave? I'm down with that
 
2012-01-25 03:32:33 PM
I wouldn't mind seeing an epic battle between Snow White and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
 
2012-01-25 03:35:13 PM
I liked Snow White and the Seven Samuri

Link (new window)
 
2012-01-25 03:36:02 PM

MugzyBrown: PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]


It's a mix between stupid and interesting. It's somewhat fun to find out how they mix up the different tails.

Plus evil queen sex slave? I'm down with that


t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-01-25 03:42:22 PM

solcofn: I don't care what anyone says....I liked Sucker Punch.

[localmoviereview.com image 570x370]

I heard all the bad reviews and went in expecting to hate it and I thought it was a lot of fun and visually stunning.


/the skimpy outfits and battle mechs helped too.
//Carla Gugino...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.



It was a bad movie. Bad bad movie.

And the lead part should have been given to Vanessa Hudgens

bloggfiler.no

All in all, it was a movie designed to give 13 year old boys jerk off material.
 
2012-01-25 03:43:44 PM

MugzyBrown: PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]


It's a mix between stupid and interesting. It's somewhat fun to find out how they mix up the different tails.

Plus evil queen sex slave? I'm down with that


That's until she decides to crush your heart.

seriable.com
 
2012-01-25 03:45:46 PM

PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]


Here are six three reasons to watch:

3.bp.blogspot.com

images5.fanpop.com

www.celebritiesheight.com

/hot hot hot
 
2012-01-25 03:57:44 PM

OtherLittleGuy: PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]

Here are six three reasons to watch:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x676]

[images5.fanpop.com image 595x446]

[www.celebritiesheight.com image 300x400]

/hot hot hot


Agreed, but I would also include Red.
 
2012-01-25 04:19:15 PM

TheManofPA: I'm actually working on a neoconservative version of the Lord of the Rings for limited release. Basically Obama is the second coming of the antichrist (aka Sauron) and a small group of rebels has to stop him by bringing the birth certificate to DC. We'll have to start in the shire (Omaha, NE) and work our way across the treacherous NE which is filled with liberals who want to team with the Orks in the Democratic party. The party will be a diverse cast for the fellowship. We'll have four white college republican males, a white man businessman, a white male member of the clery, a female white housewife, a white male job creator, and a white male local Christian politician. 9 walkers vs. the 9 Marxist riders


/got nothing to entertain us since the article sucks
//poor P.L. excuse, sorry
///can try one to reverse characters


That is some edgy work.
 
2012-01-25 04:25:01 PM

OtherLittleGuy: PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]

Here are six three reasons to watch:


I thought the evil queen was hot for a mature woman. Looking at IMDB to see what else she's done... I see that I'm actually older than she is.
 
2012-01-25 04:36:33 PM

NewWorldDan: OtherLittleGuy: PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:

[csusmpride.com image 500x375]

Here are six three reasons to watch:

I thought the evil queen was hot for a mature woman. Looking at IMDB to see what else she's done... I see that I'm actually older than she is.


What might have been:

"Swingtown" (which was a nice show in and of itself) was supposed to go to Showtime.

Lana Parilla in a TV-MA (LSV) show.

/bunk
 
2012-01-25 04:51:33 PM
I will admit to liking the show Grimm - which is somewhat related to this topic (turning fairytales dark)
 
2012-01-25 04:53:01 PM

p the boiler: (turning fairytales dark)


They started that way, actually.
 
2012-01-25 04:58:29 PM
That article was farking hilarious. I want to money-fark it.
 
2012-01-25 05:58:53 PM
I am Number 4 featured some fine examples of my husband's handiwork. A sequel would be nice!

If I want a retelling of Snow White, I watch Once. Disney gave their blessing to a twisted little show there!
 
2012-01-25 06:11:56 PM

ConConHead: I am Number 4 featured some fine examples of my husband's handiwork. A sequel would be nice!

If I want a retelling of Snow White, I watch Once. Disney gave their blessing to a twisted little show there!


RIP Stealthy
 
2012-01-25 06:52:53 PM

texdent: RIP Stealthy


Poor RedShirt the Dwarf.
 
2012-01-25 07:00:36 PM
Stealthy was awesome.

RIP Sherrif-Woodsman! For a show so obviously aimed at the ladies and gay dudes, killing off 50% of the man-candy was a serious mis-step.

That town really should be over-run with hunky princes. Rumplestiltskin isn't going to be inspiring any slash-fiction any time soon.
 
2012-01-25 07:02:13 PM

RedPhoenix122: DjangoStonereaver: brigid_fitch: Okay, I give Cracked a lot of leeway when it comes to their lists but WTF was that abortion of an article?

I am so with you.

I actually like Cracked's lists, but this blog is just drivel.

The worst part is, I'm sure there's a Hollywood exec somewhere reading this and getting ideas.



Apparently you didn't click the links. They're ALL ideas which are actually in production. That's the joke.

Once I started clicking on those links and saw where he was going the whole time with it... I thought TFA was pretty awesome, actually.
 
2012-01-25 07:29:14 PM

Max Awesome: That town really should be over-run with hunky princes. Rumplestiltskin isn't going to be inspiring any slash-fiction any time soon.


Although my husband REALLY wants that reptilian coat of his in the fantasy world...
 
2012-01-25 07:58:43 PM

PsyLord: I have to admit it, I like watching this series so far:


Yes!!! The dialogue can be kind of corny, but that's just part of the fun. Is it just me, or is Robert Carlyle more creepy as Mr. Gold than as Rumple?
 
2012-01-25 08:13:52 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: All in all, it was a movie designed to give 13 year old boys jerk off material.


Why do people say this? Why do I hear so many people saying Sucker Punch is only good for teenage boys? I'm 32 and thought it was awesome. Am I not supposed to like hot chicks? Or comic-book style visuals? What would have made it more adult? Blood? Nudity? It's ridiculous. More than teenage boys liked Sucker Punch... and to be honest, I've encountered more girls than guys who do, too.
 
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