Jeez, follow the rules and you still get punished.

This is why terrorist didn't attack NY back then. We had to make it safe enough for them first.

Approves:




/Hot like bonnie little Heather

I wish the article had mentioned that the headline provided the title to a book about headlines.

Ship him to Texas.

For a weird moment I thought the author of the original article was in jail. I knew the headline without reading the article, but didn't connect it the felon. I am in dire need of more coffee.

What luck! A mortician on hand to do the severing.

Shakespeare's Monkey: FTFA: The severed head was placed in a box labeled "Fine Wines" and stuffed with party streamers torn from a bar decoration.

While I deplore the violence he did, I just have to say I like his style on the head stuffing.

It was good foresight on his part to stuff the box. You wouldn't want a severed head just banging around in there.

Shakespeare's Monkey: FTFA: The severed head was placed in a box labeled "Fine Wines" and stuffed with party streamers torn from a bar decoration.

While I deplore the violence he did, I just have to say I like his style on the head stuffing.

I believe that was the alternate 'happy' ending of Se7en.

Damn! If that guy can't get parole, who can?

cgraves67: Shakespeare's Monkey: FTFA: The severed head was placed in a box labeled "Fine Wines" and stuffed with party streamers torn from a bar decoration.

While I deplore the violence he did, I just have to say I like his style on the head stuffing.

It was good foresight on his part to stuff the box. You wouldn't want a severed head just banging around in there.

You see, I envisioned that as party streamers popping out when the box was opened. Add a New Years Eve party horn and you'd be all set.

FTA -

Dingle blamed the media frenzy for denying him a fair trial and faulted the parole board for asking him to "plead guilty and take responsibility for the crime."

"I can't do it because I didn't do it," he said.

So you are arrested in the stolen car, with the severed head, with the gun you shot the guy with, turned in by the two women you took hostage, identified by the folks left at the bar, and identified by the cab owner whose car you took, YET, you maintain you did not do it.

Well played good sir, well played. Deny, Deny, Deny, right up to and even when they put you against the wall, never let the "man" get to you.

I'm feeling a little overly stimulated by all this word-play

Dingle, Cummings, head, headless

I always liked the headline "The sheik'shiat the fan" during an oil embargo and the gas lines; and "Bernie Goetz a break" when the subway vigilante was acquitted of most charges.

That may well be the best headline in US history, not just NY.

/Dewey Beats Truman
//Ford to City: Drop Dead

JohnCarter: So you are arrested in the stolen car, with the severed head, with the gun you shot the guy with, turned in by the two women you took hostage, identified by the folks left at the bar, and identified by the cab owner whose car you took, YET, you maintain you did not do it.

Well played good sir, well played. Deny, Deny, Deny, right up to and even when they put you against the wall, never let the "man" get to you.

Like the old joke: A woman walks in on her husband banging some chick. The chick runs out and the man starts making the bed. The wife says, who was that woman? The man says, what woman?

Least now we know her pedigree.

best headline ever.

That was the first one I thought of.

But, for sheer constant awesomeness of headlines, nothing will ever beat The Weekly World News. So many great ones to choose from, but my favourite was a 2-fer... Satan Captured! (apparently some monks in Italy caught Satan and locked him in a shed)... followed a couple of weeks later by Satan Escapes! (when the monks went to show everyone Satan in the shed, he was gone)

CSB... back before I had a lawn to shoo people off of, I was in a band that would name itself after whatever the headline in the local tabloid was that day. The two best band names we ended up with were "Fog Carnage" and "Dental Catastrophe".

Bah!

Sick transit's glorious Monday

Was a much better headline.

Senor Spielbergo: I wish the article had mentioned that the headline provided the title to a book about headlines.

Sounds interesting. Do you recall the title?

RalphW: Bah!

Sick transit's glorious Monday

Was a much better headline.

It's better, but it's more obscure.

That is a great HEAD line

I swear it sounds like something that should be in the "Clue" boardgame

I know we have the headline of the year, but is there a generally acknowledged best Fark headline of all time?

The thing that bothers me the most is that a guy who shot someone in front of multiple witnesses, forced one of those witnesses to decapitate the victim, took hostages, raped one, stole a cab and was then apprehended in that same cab with the very gun he used to kill the bar owner and the bar owner's head and has done nothing but lie and demonstrate an utter lack of remorse ACTUALLY GETS F*CKING PAROLE HEARINGS.

I get that in this case it's largely for show but had he initially pled guilty and acted like he was sorry for what he'd done they might seriously be considering whether or not he could go free.

I'm gonna go try to find some articles about his trial, maybe more information about what evidence was actually presented will temper my annoyance that he's even eligible for parole.

The article makes him out to be so normal...

Senor Spielbergo: I wish the article had mentioned that the headline provided the title to a book about headlines.

it did
The headline provided the title for the book "Headless Body in Topless Bar: The Best Headlines from America's Favorite Newspaper."

See?

keep reading

Musetto's headline also provided the title for the book "Headless Body in Topless Bar: The Best Headlines from America's Favorite Newspaper."


GET IT

My favorite headline is from the Cleveland Plain Dealer the day I was born. The story was about how human error contributed to the NYC blackout, and it wasn't an act of God as originally state: "God had help in blackout, Con Ed concedes"

Fantastic headline. I, like most people here probably, knew exactly which one Subby was referring to.

What a horrifying night for all involved though, sheesh!