FARK.com: (6900596) Teenage boy died on his birthday evading six young women trying to give him kisses. It even says so on his headstone

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		Teenage boy died on his birthday evading six young women trying to give him kisses. It even says so on his headstone (gothamist.com)		79
		More: Sad, The New York Hospital, court reporter

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23564 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2012 at 9:19 AM | Favorite | share:

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79 Comments (+0 »)

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gopher321

2012-01-25 09:07:29 AM

Why didn't they just carve, "I'm gayer than Liberace in the springtime" on his headstone?

blondski

2012-01-25 09:21:36 AM

A 15 year old boy trying to evade a passel of young women?

thismomentinblackhistory

2012-01-25 09:22:29 AM

The article suggests the whole incident was shrouded in secrecy, with the first policeman noting the evasiveness of those in the office, where at the time Millet was still dying on the floor.

Well, that's unsettling.

KatjaMouse

2012-01-25 09:22:35 AM

bikerbob59

2012-01-25 09:24:06 AM

Was he gay?

/NTTAWWT

fireclown

2012-01-25 09:24:46 AM

Well, how do YOU want to go?

Porous Horace

2012-01-25 09:24:58 AM

Once again, farkers have no worries.

ippolit

2012-01-25 09:26:07 AM

Old news.

Stabone33

2012-01-25 09:26:08 AM

Darwin award?

/DNRTFA

chtorran

2012-01-25 09:27:45 AM

"Ever get the feeling that you're only going with girls 'cause you're supposed to?"

Private_Citizen

2012-01-25 09:29:39 AM

Love hurts.

Prank Call of Cthulhu

2012-01-25 09:30:48 AM

"...the day's work was over, the girls made a rush for him. They tried to hem him in..."

What a coincidence! When I was 15, that's how many of my daydreams began.

Random Discord

2012-01-25 09:31:35 AM

gopher321: Why didn't they just carve, "I'm gayer than Liberace in the springtime" on his headstone?

I was thinking the same thing.

wxboy

2012-01-25 09:31:49 AM

It just says "young". These girls could have been hideous mutants.

HZS9PK

2012-01-25 09:32:43 AM

Maybe the women were really Fugly. This young man should be hailed as a hero I tell you!

AverageAmericanGuy

2012-01-25 09:34:48 AM

WTF kind of English is that?

catusr

2012-01-25 09:37:10 AM

Based on what I've learned from Fark, a fifteen year old boy can't possibly consent to sex. Therefore, I assume he can't consent to being kissed either. But this happened a long time ago. Boys back then were more capable of consenting than the boys of today. I'm confused.

Aidan

2012-01-25 09:38:16 AM

He wasn't gay, for god's sake. They'd issued a CHALLENGE. Admittedly at 15, most guys would happily lose that challenge, but some wouldn't.

lack of warmth

2012-01-25 09:41:14 AM

Okay, who dropped the ball? I came here for the Monty Python's Meaning of Life reference. I can't count on you guys like I thought I could.

doglover

2012-01-25 09:41:54 AM

blondski: A 15 year old boy trying to evade a passel of young women?

Young don't mean hot.

Aidan: He wasn't gay, for god's sake. They'd issued a CHALLENGE. Admittedly at 15, most guys would happily lose that challenge, but some wouldn't.

Yeah, if they were meese or he was gay. Those are the ONLY two possible explanations.

Ponzholio

2012-01-25 09:42:15 AM

He died doin' what he loved.

GoodyearPimp

2012-01-25 09:43:01 AM

Aidan: He wasn't gay, for god's sake. They'd issued a CHALLENGE. Admittedly at 15, most guys would happily lose that challenge, but some wouldn't.

Uh, what does he win if he manages to escape their kisses?

Gabrielmot

2012-01-25 09:44:43 AM

Cupid's arrows hurt like a biatch.

Tyrone Slothrop

2012-01-25 09:46:44 AM

Meh, he'd be dead by now anyway.

Aidan

2012-01-25 09:48:34 AM

GoodyearPimp: Aidan: He wasn't gay, for god's sake. They'd issued a CHALLENGE. Admittedly at 15, most guys would happily lose that challenge, but some wouldn't.

Uh, what does he win if he manages to escape their kisses?

Bragging rights, I assume? The chance to be obnoxiously smug, provided he doesn't fall on a knife in his pocket and kill himself? I don't know, I've never been a 12 year old boy (which is more in line with that kind of thinking than 15, IMO).

doglover

2012-01-25 09:48:38 AM

RTFA. I'm gonna say "Flock of Meese"

IrishBlunder

2012-01-25 09:48:43 AM

lack of warmth: Okay, who dropped the ball? I came here for the Monty Python's Meaning of Life reference. I can't count on you guys like I thought I could.

As to MPFC references, I got to thinking more of Mister Atkinson, who "had heart attack and fall out of window onto exploding bomb" sort of thing.
encrypted-tbn2.google.com

Prank Call of Cthulhu

2012-01-25 09:50:07 AM

lack of warmth: Okay, who dropped the ball? I came here for the Monty Python's Meaning of Life reference. I can't count on you guys like I thought I could.

How about a Holy Grail reference?

"And after the kissing, the oral sex!"

doglover

2012-01-25 09:51:04 AM

Aidan: GoodyearPimp: Aidan: He wasn't gay, for god's sake. They'd issued a CHALLENGE. Admittedly at 15, most guys would happily lose that challenge, but some wouldn't.

Uh, what does he win if he manages to escape their kisses?

Bragging rights, I assume? The chance to be obnoxiously smug, provided he doesn't fall on a knife in his pocket and kill himself? I don't know, I've never been a 12 year old boy (which is more in line with that kind of thinking than 15, IMO).

Ahh, you're a girl. Explains your take.

HailRobonia

2012-01-25 09:52:09 AM

He didn't die. He became a werewolf:

gothamist.com

Abe Vigoda's Ghost

2012-01-25 09:52:50 AM

Before we cast judgement upon this tragic young man, perhaps a bit of perspective is in order.

img135.imageshack.us

doglover

2012-01-25 09:54:24 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Before we cast judgement upon this tragic young man, perhaps a bit of perspective is in order.

[img135.imageshack.us image 620x540]

I'd hit them. Gravity man, can't fight it.

You Are All Sheep

2012-01-25 09:58:25 AM

You know, it is funny just how times have changed over the course of 100 years. Back then, he probably considered it a sin to have that happen to him, and feared for his soul. So, once again, irrational belief in a sky wizard doomed this poor child to the knife of sacrifice.

Norwegian Squirrel

2012-01-25 09:59:21 AM

Sadly I couldn't find a SFW picture:
NSFW Monty Python girls that can chase me to my death anytime (new window)

turboke

2012-01-25 10:00:01 AM

This is a repeat from 1909.

blondski

2012-01-25 10:04:19 AM

Norwegian Squirrel: Sadly I couldn't find a SFW picture:
NSFW Monty Python girls that can chase me to my death anytime (new window)

Running naked looks painful

Bondith

2012-01-25 10:09:14 AM

doglover
I'd hit them. Gravity man, can't fight it.

I'd orbit them, then slingshot myself back in time to warm my past self not to go near them.

TomD9938

2012-01-25 10:09:34 AM

You Are All Sheep: You know, it is funny just how times have changed over the course of 100 years. Back then, he probably considered it a sin to have that happen to him, and feared for his soul. So, once again, irrational belief in a sky wizard doomed this poor child to the knife of sacrifice.

Or you could say he was killed by an early form of sexual liberation and an increasing presence of woman in the work-place.

Probably a pack of chunky mono-brows at that.

Latinwolf

2012-01-25 10:10:24 AM

blondski: A 15 year old boy trying to evade a passel of young women?

In 1909 when he died, people's altitudes towards sex and relationships were a lot different than from today.
FTA:

This happened the day after Valentine's day, on February 15th, 1909-which also happened to be his 15th birthday. And to clarify, an ink eraser is not an eraser, it's more like a knife.

shankfoo

2012-01-25 10:10:45 AM

Inspiration for a Decemberists song?

turboke

2012-01-25 10:11:03 AM

Bondith: doglover
I'd hit them. Gravity man, can't fight it.

I'd orbit them, then slingshot myself back in time to warm my past self ~~not~~up to ~~go near~~ them.

Fixed the type for you.

doglover

2012-01-25 10:12:51 AM

Bondith: doglover
I'd hit them. Gravity man, can't fight it.

I'd orbit them, then slingshot myself back in time to warm my past self not to go near them.

Fat chicks are soft ALL OVER. RAWR!

TomD9938

2012-01-25 10:13:38 AM

Latinwolf: And to clarify, an ink eraser is not an eraser, it's more like a knife

GIS

www.antiquesnavigator.com

George didnt bother with the sheath.

HaywoodJablonski

2012-01-25 10:14:39 AM

Norwegian Squirrel: Sadly I couldn't find a SFW picture:
NSFW Monty Python girls that can chase me to my death anytime (new window)

Why would you want s SFW picture of them?

Mighty_Mouse

2012-01-25 10:17:41 AM

Death by Snoo Snoo!

www.mundosimpson.com.ar

adeist69

2012-01-25 10:18:10 AM

Ironic tag on holiday? He worked in the Met Life Building for chrissake.

mahkno

2012-01-25 10:19:38 AM

There are worse ways to go than being chased by a gaggle of women trying to kiss you.

doglover

2012-01-25 10:23:09 AM

mahkno: There are worse ways to go than being chased by a gaggle of women trying to kiss you.

腹上死(Fukujyoushi lit: death on the stomach) which means to die during intercourse is much cooler than any other of the Japanese named deaths. Unless you're the chick.

Freakin Rican

2012-01-25 10:28:43 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Before we cast judgement upon this tragic young man, perhaps a bit of perspective is in order.

[img135.imageshack.us image 620x540]

they said 6 young women NOT the equivalent of 16 women

Iceman_Cometh

2012-01-25 10:29:39 AM

Those girls should get the death penalty.

/Oh wait, they did.

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