Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Houston Press)   Experts say to expect more arrests of people shoving steak down their pants as meat prices skyrocket this year   (blogs.houstonpress.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, car theft, chicken nuggets, rockets, communications center, carjacking  
•       •       •

4248 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2012 at 5:29 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



119 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-01-24 05:30:40 PM  
Now that's a T-bone!
 
2012-01-24 05:32:24 PM  
Bring back Longpig.
 
2012-01-24 05:33:35 PM  
So basically it's going to be 1990 all over again? Except that I no longer work in retail hell, so someone else can chase the asshole with the ten T-bones and the eight boxes of diaper rash ointment.

Damn track stars could wear a guy out; you'd think with running skills like that, they'd all be running marathons and winning prizes n shiat.
 
2012-01-24 05:34:34 PM  
i5.photobucket.com
Approves
 
2012-01-24 05:34:35 PM  
www.showcase.ca
Just get a man on the inside and it is easy...
 
2012-01-24 05:35:35 PM  

Captain_Ballbeard: Bring back Longpig.


Don't laugh; if you ever see a North Korean that isn't a major player who doesn't look like they stepped out of Auschwitz on the final day of operation, chances are pretty good that they ate someone's baby. Also, the homeless problem there sorta solved itself :(
 
2012-01-24 05:35:58 PM  
Former Rep. Weiner unavailable for comment.
 
2012-01-24 05:37:34 PM  
I am not a vegan by choice.
 
2012-01-24 05:37:53 PM  
Don't the police normally arrest people pulling meat out?
 
2012-01-24 05:39:10 PM  
Good thing my dog strongly prefers chicken.

I, on the other hand, worry for my dining future! Is this, "meh, you won't notice it" skyrocketing, or "kill your neighbors in their sleep for their last 1/2 pound of ground beef" skyrocketing?

And I do *not* want to hear that bacon supplies are threatened!

/ sounds fat
// is fat
 
2012-01-24 05:39:20 PM  
Obamanomics in action.
 
2012-01-24 05:39:20 PM  

QuinnTheFetus: Steak prices are skyrocketing?!? This is an OUTRAGE!


/your dog wants a handout


Actually, this was predicted several months back when the ranchers in Texass culled all their herds, since cows don't eat or drink dust, and imported hay wasn't worth the price. Honestly I'm amazed it took this long for the market to correct.
 
2012-01-24 05:39:32 PM  
Ummm didnt Obama just approve slaughtering horses for meat? Thats gotta be pretty cheap. Little hot sauce and some ketchup you wont even know the difference.
 
2012-01-24 05:40:39 PM  

SFSailor: Good thing my dog strongly prefers chicken.

I, on the other hand, worry for my dining future! Is this, "meh, you won't notice it" skyrocketing, or "kill your neighbors in their sleep for their last 1/2 pound of ground beef" skyrocketing?

And I do *not* want to hear that bacon supplies are threatened!

/ sounds fat
// is fat


Have you been paying attention to bacon prices lately? I really hope you like Soy :(
 
2012-01-24 05:42:28 PM  
"Meathief" thread!

Yay! It's been over a year since the last one. :-)
 
2012-01-24 05:42:39 PM  
Bah.

I've been shoving steak in my pants for years. And not for theft purposes. Just for fun.
 
2012-01-24 05:43:17 PM  
so eat mor chikin?
 
2012-01-24 05:44:46 PM  
But I already have a huge hunk of meat in my pants...

\heyo!
 
2012-01-24 05:46:08 PM  
Corn

Ethanol

I here the petal pushers want to up the percentage of ethanol in gasoline to 15%

Great for auto mechanics. Bad for everyone else.
 
2012-01-24 05:46:12 PM  
Times like this, I LOVE my in-laws and their (currently being semi-purged) herd of Scottish Highlanders. I'm set till at least summer...

/No can has steak/burger/roast, not yours.
//Drool
 
2012-01-24 05:47:38 PM  

thespindrifter: QuinnTheFetus: Steak prices are skyrocketing?!? This is an OUTRAGE!


/your dog wants a handout

Actually, this was predicted several months back when the ranchers in Texass culled all their herds, since cows don't eat or drink dust, and imported hay wasn't worth the price. Honestly I'm amazed it took this long for the market to correct.


It should take a while and actually get worse before it gets better. When the bad drought first starts causing rancher to cull their herds, you would see an over saturation in the market. Then you will a under supply since the cows that should be going to market now were forced into the market 6 months ago by the drought. Then you'll see a larger glut in the market when the ranchers don't sell the cows they do have because they need them for breeding. You need full growth heathly cows in order to make ones for slaughtering.
 
2012-01-24 05:48:23 PM  

ladyfortuna: Times like this, I LOVE my in-laws and their (currently being semi-purged) herd of Scottish Highlanders. I'm set till at least summer...

/No can has steak/burger/roast, not yours.
//Drool


I know who decided to raise his own cattle to slaughter, I've already asked if I can get some of the meat
 
2012-01-24 05:48:54 PM  

QuinnTheFetus: Onkel Buck: Ummm didnt Obama just approve slaughtering horses for meat? Thats gotta be pretty cheap. Little hot sauce and some ketchup you wont even know the difference.

Too gluey. That, and Mr. Hands handled your meat before you ate it.


What do you know? You're in a Babyquarium! You've never even had meat!
 
2012-01-24 05:49:56 PM  
anewanswer.com
 
2012-01-24 05:50:02 PM  
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
 
2012-01-24 05:50:36 PM  
Why yes that's a log of pancetta in my pants.
/i'm glad to see you
 
2012-01-24 05:51:29 PM  
Forget the steaks, how about stealing an entire case of Guinness? (new window)

/I'm pretty sure this has been on here before, but it still amazes me.
 
2012-01-24 05:52:00 PM  

thespindrifter: Have you been paying attention to bacon prices lately? I really hope you like Soy :(


Meh. Seems like there's always some brand on sale for < $5/pound. I hope that doesn't go up and thus risk competing with gin in my massive overconsumption budget!

And soy? Soy? Surely you jest. Soy? Pistols at dawn, sir!

Broktun: I here the petal pushers want to up the percentage of ethanol in gasoline to 15%


Why would florists care about ethanol? Are there some who really like using corn in their bouquets?
 
2012-01-24 05:52:34 PM  

QuinnTheFetus: your dog wants a handout


sic balls.
 
2012-01-24 05:52:50 PM  

Onkel Buck: Ummm didnt Obama just approve slaughtering horses for meat? Thats gotta be pretty cheap. Little hot sauce and some ketchup you wont even know the difference.


I've heard people say horse is delicious. probably is. most mammals that eat plants are delicious.
 
2012-01-24 05:53:45 PM  

pute kisses like a man: most mammals that eat plants are delicious.


eat a vegan
 
2012-01-24 05:53:57 PM  
Eat steak, eat steak eat a big ol' steer
Eat steak, eat steak do we have one dear?
Eat beef, eat beef it's a mighty good food
It's a grade A meal when I'm in the mooood (new window)
 
2012-01-24 05:54:02 PM  
A grocery store near me had a string of thefts involving beef tenderloin (years ago when they went for $10/lb @10lbs/package). Two guys were ripping them off for awhile and that is all they would steal. After being caught the guy said he was selling (@$20/package) the meat to the residents of Warrick Hills where the Buick Open used to be held. He used the money for drugs and bail money.

/full of win
 
2012-01-24 05:54:12 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Babyquarium


LOL.

Speaking of, if it's because the herds were thinned and need to catch back up, maybe veal prices will fall / cuts will be more diverse and wide spread? Veal seems like a greener answer, anyway... mmmm, delicious baby-cow tears....
 
2012-01-24 05:55:00 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Eat steak, eat steak eat a big ol' steer
Eat steak, eat steak do we have one dear?
Eat beef, eat beef it's a mighty good food
It's a grade A meal when I'm in the mooood (new window)


Before or after my interracial cowboy homosexual kind of love?
 
2012-01-24 05:56:06 PM  

Herr Morgenstern: But I already have a huge hunk of meat in my pants...

\heyo!


your thighs?
 
2012-01-24 05:56:22 PM  

lack of warmth: After being caught the guy said he was selling (@$20/package) the meat


According to John Waters via the show I recently saw (CS,B!), this is/was a Baltimore tradition... except people came to your door and *took*your*order* before heading to the supermarket, returning with your requested meat and expecting 50% of the sticker price.

Couldn't decide between, "WIN!" and < cringe >
 
2012-01-24 05:56:32 PM  
Just bought a California kingsnake, I'm glad they don't sell mice by the pound
 
2012-01-24 05:56:45 PM  
I was trying to find a screen cap of that scene from Slums of Beverly Hills but got distracted. I know what I'm doing tonight!

(yes, grilling)
 
2012-01-24 05:59:12 PM  
Well, what do you expect when you want something and you don't want to pay for it?

blogs.sfweekly.com
 
2012-01-24 06:00:17 PM  
Pork chops ftw. In addition to being associated with bacon, an average-quality supermarket pork chop is much better than its beef counterpart, and usually around half the price.
 
2012-01-24 06:00:44 PM  
Glad I got a quarter beef this year for $290. Should last two of us a year.
 
2012-01-24 06:01:03 PM  
I worked in grocery loss prevention for a while, now in another sector, but let me tell you... steaks get farking stolen constantly.

We call it the styrofoam sandwich -- the steaks come in that white styrofoam container with plastic wrap over the top. If you shove one down your pants the plastic wrap will rip and youll have well... meat on your meat.

Instead get two, put them sandwich style, styrofoam facing out. Slides right on in.

But most steak lifters just pushed the cart out the door, accomplice and get away car waiting at the curb...


Enjoy your free steaks, farkers without scruples!
 
2012-01-24 06:03:42 PM  
I wonder how much my annual hog purchase is gonna be this year?

I get a whole hog each year, lots of bacon and other sundry pork awesomeness.
 
2012-01-24 06:04:11 PM  

medius: pute kisses like a man: most mammals that eat plants are delicious.

eat a vegan


A related question, can anyone confirm that thing from movies and Fallout that people who go cannibal get the shakes after a while? I couldn't find it on wikipedia...

/yeah, I'm weird
//I know I'm not the only one...
 
2012-01-24 06:04:11 PM  
img267.imageshack.us

Not impressed.
 
2012-01-24 06:05:49 PM  
Mmmm...pants steak. Oh. What?!
 
2012-01-24 06:06:05 PM  

Boondock3806: Pork chops ftw. In addition to being associated with bacon, an average-quality supermarket pork chop is much better than its beef counterpart, and usually around half the price.


I have been doing absolutely awesome things with pork loin lately. My kids love it, and they hate everything. I looked at a similar beef loin, and about shiat at the price. I pay around $8 for a good chunk of pig. For the cow, they wanted ten times that.
 
2012-01-24 06:07:09 PM  

ladyfortuna: medius: pute kisses like a man: most mammals that eat plants are delicious.

eat a vegan

A related question, can anyone confirm that thing from movies and Fallout that people who go cannibal get the shakes after a while? I couldn't find it on wikipedia...

/yeah, I'm weird
//I know I'm not the only one...


You mean Kuru? (new window)
 
2012-01-24 06:09:09 PM  
Your weiner wants steak!

Das ist ein miniature weiner, just like yours!

They call them Vienna sausages so you'll pay more money for hot dogs in a can.
 
Displayed 50 of 119 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report