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(Some Guy)   Your house is on fire. You are a college student. Who do you first call? C) Mommy and Daddy   (bu.edu) divider line 70
    More: Dumbass, smoke alarms, dean of students, Massachusetts General Hospital, smoke inhalation, students, Brookline  
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7590 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2012 at 1:18 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-24 01:20:36 AM  
Yeeeeeah.....considering that my college was 1,000 miles away from "Mommy and Daddy", I'm going to say that calling them would not have been the best tactic.
 
2012-01-24 01:23:15 AM  
My house was never on fire when I was a college student. I'm not a farking idiot.
 
2012-01-24 01:26:20 AM  
I'd put out an APB for the Talking Heads.
 
2012-01-24 01:28:30 AM  
"Mommy, these conditions are just intolerable. Call the dean and tell her to make the fire stop NOW! "

/glad my parents taught me a little self reliance
//get off my lawn!
 
2012-01-24 01:29:46 AM  
I'd have to say... That's actually not too terrible. Someone in that situation might panic and call mom and dad. Hopefully that conversations takes all of 5 seconds, though, til they say, "Yeah call 911."

IDK, I can't feel too outraged about this.
 
2012-01-24 01:29:56 AM  
9-1-1 is such a hard number to remember.
 
2012-01-24 01:30:37 AM  
"Alright, alright, Tom...I'll write you a check to cover a fire extinguisher tomorrow. I really don't want you to make this a habit, though; part of the reason you're there is to learn to be independent, and your mom and I aren't made of money, you know. Try to use the extra light to get some studying done. Oh, and you could save a few dollars by turning off the thermostat about now. Now get some sleep, and we'll see you on Parents' Day. I'll give mom your love. Take care now. Bye-bye."
 
2012-01-24 01:31:01 AM  
Is anyone under the age of 30 capable of wiping his/her own ass these days?
 
2012-01-24 01:31:10 AM  

cowgirl toffee: 9-1-1 is such a hard number to remember.


I can never find the 11 on my phone.
 
2012-01-24 01:31:39 AM  
Maybe he figured that the downdraft from mommy's helicopter blades would extinguish the flames.
 
2012-01-24 01:33:02 AM  

clear_prop: cowgirl toffee: 9-1-1 is such a hard number to remember.

I can never find the 11 on my phone.


Exactly.
 
2012-01-24 01:34:38 AM  
I didn't even call my mom when we had an attempted break-in until I went home that summer (apartment in a less-than-great neighborhood).
 
2012-01-24 01:34:41 AM  

Murnau Priebenhoffer: Is anyone under the age of 30 capable of wiping his/her own ass these days?


Hey, I'm 23 and I've been wiping my own ass for like a year now.
 
2012-01-24 01:35:31 AM  
"...witnesses saw two people leap from the second floor, one man, who lay motionless on the ground, and one woman, who landed in the arms of a man wearing boxer shorts."


I guess it's hos before bros at BU?
 
2012-01-24 01:36:00 AM  

cowgirl toffee: 9-1-1 is such a hard number to remember.


Duh, they should all know that the emergency number isn't 911, it's 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3.
 
2012-01-24 01:38:19 AM  

HighZoolander: "...witnesses saw two people leap from the second floor, one man, who lay motionless on the ground, and one woman, who landed in the arms of a man wearing boxer shorts."


I guess it's hos before bros at BU?


Well, he can't very well have sex with a passed out chick, can he?

Oh, wait, this IS a fraternity we're talking about...
 
2012-01-24 01:41:17 AM  
" Sigma Alpha Mu president Jake Magid (CAS'13) says the Linden Street apartment was not officially associated with the fraternity, but was occupied by several Sigma Alpha Mu brothers. Magid says he has no idea what caused the fire. "I can guarantee there was no one awake at seven in the morning," he says."

Wow
 
2012-01-24 01:41:22 AM  
Man, I can see the people in the apartment not calling the right number, they're dying of smoke inhalation and that subtracts a lot of IQ points. But how did the loopy call through the parent get through before a neighbor or, hell, random passer-by called it in? I mean, come on, I've heard of neighborhoods so shiatty no one will call the COPS, but no one calling the FIRE DEPARTMENT?
 
2012-01-24 01:43:43 AM  
Uhh someone is in "critical" condition from jumping from the second floor? Did they swan dive onto concrete? I could understand maybe an injury, but critical from jumping from the second floor?
 
2012-01-24 01:47:41 AM  

ericbo84: Uhh someone is in "critical" condition from jumping from the second floor? Did they swan dive onto concrete? I could understand maybe an injury, but critical from jumping from the second floor?


To be fair, he did hit the blades of his mommy's helicopter on the way down, poor little thing.
 
2012-01-24 01:55:47 AM  

GranoblasticMan: I'd have to say... That's actually not too terrible. Someone in that situation might panic and call mom and dad. Hopefully that conversations takes all of 5 seconds, though, til they say, "Yeah call 911."

IDK, I can't feel too outraged about this.


Yeah, the "HOLY FARK MY BUILDING IS ON FIRE" reaction can override rational thought sometimes.

/at least I was already outside by then
 
2012-01-24 01:57:17 AM  
Does not surprise me in the least. About 5 or so years ago I remember reading an article in the Chicago Tribune about how freshmen living in dorms were more and more likely to call their parents whenever there were any problems instead of first going to the RA or a school official. I know that this story did not involve a dorm but I am not surprised that with all the helicopter parents out there that there are more and more kids who have no clue what to do when they have problems or there is an emergency. I mean, really, what type of an idiot calls their parents when their house is on fire?!?!?!?!
 
2012-01-24 02:02:32 AM  
Ah. Linden Street.

LET IT BURN.
 
2012-01-24 02:04:54 AM  

cowgirl toffee: 9-1-1 is such a hard number to remember.


I have my parents' numbers (cell and home) on my contact list. 911 isn't on my contact list.

/doesn't need speed dial for 911
//Not a BU student.
///Did get a masters degree at Tufts, so go elephants.
 
2012-01-24 02:07:58 AM  
I think this picture is begging for a photoshop contest:

www.bu.edu

It also reminds me of the Fire SUV comedian.

/There's the fire.
//Let's put some water over there... on the fire.
 
2012-01-24 02:12:40 AM  
Honestly, I can picture my sister-in-law doing something like this. She's sweet, and a little (ok, a lot) quirky, but damnit if she just doesn't have the common sense gene.

She went to Spain last summer for an archaeology dig and the ferry terminal that she was supposed to go to had been moved due to some construction. Instead of attempting to find somebody that spoke English or Spanish (as she doesn't speak Catalan), she called her mom and asked her where it was. Like someone 5,000 miles from you with no sight line of the city is really going to be able to help you.

There has been so much facepalming in the 6+ years I've known her.
 
2012-01-24 02:17:33 AM  
I was college student once. My apartment got robbed. Did I got the police? Nope. Because I didn't have any insurance plan or anything like that, and there is literally nothing the police could do for me. My experience with the police? They berate you and try to force you to confess for crimes committed against you, and failing that, try to get you to make statements that implicate your roommates or friends. On the flip side: I've seen way more police brutality than I'll ever see police helping, which is non existent.

That type of atmosphere.. should i call the police? Or my parents who are actual authority figures here? Yeah... I'll choose my parents.

Now I'm in my 30s, and I'm still conditioned to not call the police unless I need something specific out of them. Like a police report number to file for insurance reasons. I kind of wish there was a system to opt out of the "police system", and they could just send a civilian engineering grad out or something that could just collect the relevent information for insurance purposes. .

Oh, and I see the same cop every day at the dunkin donuts next to my office. He says "hi" to me, I look away. They're going to act like animals, I'll treat them animals.
 
2012-01-24 02:36:44 AM  

ChuDogg: I was college student once. My apartment got robbed. Did I got the police? Nope. Because I didn't have any insurance plan or anything like that, and there is literally nothing the police could do for me. My experience with the police? They berate you and try to force you to confess for crimes committed against you, and failing that, try to get you to make statements that implicate your roommates or friends. On the flip side: I've seen way more police brutality than I'll ever see police helping, which is non existent.

That type of atmosphere.. should i call the police? Or my parents who are actual authority figures here? Yeah... I'll choose my parents.

Now I'm in my 30s, and I'm still conditioned to not call the police unless I need something specific out of them. Like a police report number to file for insurance reasons. I kind of wish there was a system to opt out of the "police system", and they could just send a civilian engineering grad out or something that could just collect the relevent information for insurance purposes. .

Oh, and I see the same cop every day at the dunkin donuts next to my office. He says "hi" to me, I look away. They're going to act like animals, I'll treat them animals.


When you are a criminal, you get treated like one.
Apparently, you are one and have reason to fear.
Call mommy and daddy next time the mean old olceman says hi, I'm sure they hurry over to straighten him out.
 
2012-01-24 02:40:06 AM  
Mike McQueary would be so proud.
 
2012-01-24 02:43:10 AM  

Murnau Priebenhoffer: Is anyone under the age of 30 capable of wiping his/her own ass these days?


No kidding. A while back I was wondering if kids today were really more clueless than my generation was. I thought about it and then thought, "Yup." What was a more frightening thought was that more than likely these dumbassses were the offspring of people around my age which depressed me even more.

I have these friends and I occasionally "babysit" for their 8 year old. They pamper that kid like nobody's business. He once asked me to get him a glass of water and i just looked him and said, "What, you got a hook in your ass? Get it yourself." He responded by saying , "Well my mom..." I explained that he was old enough to do stuff on his own; that he was longer a baby, but an 8-year old boy. They do everything for that kid.

When I'm there he plays his parents like a fiddle. When we're alone he knows he can't pull that crap with me. And he doesn't. In fact, I must have had some influence because he just does things now when I "hang out" with him. ( I told his parents to not use the term babysit). He likes the fact that he can do stuff on his own when I'm there. So, maybe there's hope for that kid thanks to my subversive, albeit, occasional ways.
 
2012-01-24 02:52:27 AM  
we dont need no water let the m-fer burn
 
2012-01-24 03:01:52 AM  

Murnau Priebenhoffer: Is anyone under the age of 30 capable of wiping his/her own ass these days?


30 is the new 19....
 
2012-01-24 03:04:27 AM  
This is the product of a quarter-century of helicopter parenting: people who are theoretically adults but who are incapable of making decisions for themselves or taking action on their own.
 
2012-01-24 03:11:37 AM  
I remember calling my parents when I was having severe back and groin pain when I was in college, because I knew that they'd be the people I would ask to help me out with the bills for a hospital trip. Their response was quick "Can you drive? Then drive yourself to the hospital." (they were also 60 miles away) That was my first kidney stone.

And that's when you call your parents. If someone goes unresponsively unconscious or stops breathing, or IF THERE'S A FIRE, call 911.
 
2012-01-24 03:28:51 AM  

The_Sponge: Yeeeeeah.....considering that my college was 1,000 miles away from "Mommy and Daddy", I'm going to say that calling them would not have been the best tactic.


A little under 6500 for me.
 
2012-01-24 03:39:21 AM  
I believe this is known here as a CSB:

I moved to another town to college on a Monday and went home to get some more stuff Friday night. The apartment building burned down Saturday morning. Nobody called me. I came back Sunday night and appeared to be homeless. I definitely called my dad first.

It turns out because I had been gone less than 30 days I still technically lived with my parents, which meant all the stuff I lost was covered by their homeowner's insurance. It was sad to lose my stuff, but that money came at a great time.

/CSB
 
2012-01-24 03:52:50 AM  

Koodz: I believe this is known here as a CSB:

I moved to another town to college on a Monday and went home to get some more stuff Friday night. The apartment building burned down Saturday morning. Nobody called me. I came back Sunday night and appeared to be homeless. I definitely called my dad first.

It turns out because I had been gone less than 30 days I still technically lived with my parents, which meant all the stuff I lost was covered by their homeowner's insurance. It was sad to lose my stuff, but that money came at a great time.

/CSB


There's a difference between calling your parents first when you find out about your house burning down yesterday. That's a bit different between calling them first when your house is actually on fire.


I had the displeasure of having my car broken into one night while studying late at school. I had the extra displesure of walking up on my car while the guy was sitting in my front seat going through my center console. I did the really stupid thing of standing outside my door screaming, "WTF are you doing in my car" and then chasing the guy down the stairs of the parking structure at half past midnight (thank god I'm not a woman, and the SUV on the level above me was owned by a female classmate). Since it just happened, I called 911, but they couldn't find the thief. My parents didn't get a call until the next day since I figured they didn't need to know about this at 1am.

/CSB
//Not all of us 20 somethings are complete idiots who need our parents to hold our hands
 
2012-01-24 03:57:12 AM  

ChuDogg: I was college student once. My apartment got robbed. Did I got the police? Nope. Because I didn't have any insurance plan or anything like that, and there is literally nothing the police could do for me.


Okay, how about if your house is on fire, where there literally is something they can do?

Do you call 911 then?
 
2012-01-24 05:29:29 AM  
Well if Pedo State has taught college students anything is always call your parents first in an emergency. Atleast this time it was a fire and not 10 year old boy rape.
 
2012-01-24 07:07:18 AM  

GranoblasticMan: I'd have to say... That's actually not too terrible. Someone in that situation might panic and call mom and dad. Hopefully that conversations takes all of 5 seconds, though, til they say, "Yeah call 911."

IDK, I can't feel too outraged about this.


Really? I'm pretty sure my six year old would call 911 before calling me about a fire.
 
2012-01-24 07:31:34 AM  

NobleHam: Murnau Priebenhoffer: Is anyone under the age of 30 capable of wiping his/her own ass these days?

Hey, I'm 23 and I've been wiping my own ass for like a year now.


OK, that was damn funny. I can't stop giggling. I mean, seriously, I din't start wiping my own ass until 28. I bow to your magnificence.
 
2012-01-24 07:32:33 AM  
Maybe his parents are firefighters?
 
2012-01-24 07:43:52 AM  

Teen Wolf Blitzer: " Sigma Alpha Mu president Jake Magid (CAS'13) says the Linden Street apartment was not officially associated with the fraternity, but was occupied by several Sigma Alpha Mu brothers. Magid says he has no idea what caused the fire. "I can guarantee there was no one awake at seven in the morning," he says."


Woah. My day used to start at 7a, classes until noon, work until 5, study until 8, drink until 1 if I was done with my studying.

Rinse. Repeat.
 
2012-01-24 07:45:20 AM  
It's refreshing to see just how many dipshiats on fark were always perfect. No, you never panicked or over reacted to anything, always maintaining a 170 IQ, a sense of superiority, and always maintaining a calm demeanor in the face of any adversity. Unless it involved talking to a member of the opposite sex right? Stupid farks.
 
2012-01-24 07:46:42 AM  

cybernia:
When I'm there he plays his parents like a fiddle. When we're alone he knows he can't pull that crap with me. And he doesn't. In fact, I must have had some influence because he just does things now when I "hang out" with him. ( I told his parents to not use the term babysit). He likes the fact that he can do stuff on his own when I'm there. So, maybe there's hope for that kid thanks to my subversive, albeit, occasional ways.


There's a difference between not needing to be self-reliant and being able to be self-reliant. The people who I would imagine get into trouble are those who simply do not know how to think through real-world problems for themselves.
 
2012-01-24 08:04:11 AM  

bel4sucks: It's refreshing to see just how many dipshiats on fark were always perfect. No, you never panicked or over reacted to anything, always maintaining a 170 IQ, a sense of superiority, and always maintaining a calm demeanor in the face of any adversity. Unless it involved talking to a member of the opposite sex right? Stupid farks.


I work at a University, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Seriously. We are seeing helicopter parents in numbers we never have before. The umbilical cord is simply not cut for a lot of these kids.

The two highlight (just highlights, I was dealing with at least one a day) was the Father who called to create his son's class schedule five days before the semester started because his son could not be arsed to do it when his registration slot opened up in October and was, at the time the father called, "out with his girlfriend."

Then there was the student who walked into my office the day classes started trying to get into a closed class. There was no more physical room in the class. She called her mommy, who called the Department Chair and the Registrar who had to explain the concept of fire codes to her. Upon looking at the student's case more closely (ie. pulling up her transcript), we found she had failed the prerequisite course anyway.

But neither of those beats the case of the kid who's mom called my office because her son could not be arsed to walk into our office or call the department. He had to call mommy because he...He *sniff* *sniff* He couldn't find his classroom!

(That was a couple semesters ago.)

So yeah, parents and kids need to cut the damn umbilical chord when they go to college. You spent all your teen years biatching about how you parents run your life? Well, here's you chance to prove you can do it on your own!

I wasn't perfect, but I didn't come to college still sucking on momma's teat either.
 
2012-01-24 08:10:57 AM  

JPINFV: Koodz: I believe this is known here as a CSB:

I moved to another town to college on a Monday and went home to get some more stuff Friday night. The apartment building burned down Saturday morning. Nobody called me. I came back Sunday night and appeared to be homeless. I definitely called my dad first.

It turns out because I had been gone less than 30 days I still technically lived with my parents, which meant all the stuff I lost was covered by their homeowner's insurance. It was sad to lose my stuff, but that money came at a great time.

/CSB

There's a difference between calling your parents first when you find out about your house burning down yesterday. That's a bit different between calling them first when your house is actually on fire.


I had the displeasure of having my car broken into one night while studying late at school. I had the extra displesure of walking up on my car while the guy was sitting in my front seat going through my center console. I did the really stupid thing of standing outside my door screaming, "WTF are you doing in my car" and then chasing the guy down the stairs of the parking structure at half past midnight (thank god I'm not a woman, and the SUV on the level above me was owned by a female classmate). Since it just happened, I called 911, but they couldn't find the thief. My parents didn't get a call until the next day since I figured they didn't need to know about this at 1am.

/CSB
//Not all of us 20 somethings are complete idiots who need our parents to hold our hands


I did something similarly idiotic when I got thrown to the ground, kicked and mugged...and I'm a female. Once they had my stuff and I realized they didn't have weapons I took off my sandals and ran after them barefoot through brooklyn---- which in retrospect is totally farking crazy. As a sane, non-adrenaline filled person this is something I would never do. After chasing them for like three blocks, I realized I'm a moron and tracked down the police. My parents never found out about it because my mom is an overbearing italian woman, and I'd never hear the end of it. I was 23 at the time I believe...so probably around these kids age. Doing dumb things in panic situations is pretty common.
 
2012-01-24 08:18:16 AM  

bel4sucks: It's refreshing to see just how many dipshiats on fark were always perfect. No, you never panicked or over reacted to anything, always maintaining a 170 IQ, a sense of superiority, and always maintaining a calm demeanor in the face of any adversity. Unless it involved talking to a member of the opposite sex right? Stupid farks.


The guy was rational enough to grab his phone and call his parents. Seems to me that he was that rational that he was clearly not panicking, and if he was not panicking then he should have known to call 911.
 
2012-01-24 08:39:32 AM  

KiplingKat872: bel4sucks: It's refreshing to see just how many dipshiats on fark were always perfect. No, you never panicked or over reacted to anything, always maintaining a 170 IQ, a sense of superiority, and always maintaining a calm demeanor in the face of any adversity. Unless it involved talking to a member of the opposite sex right? Stupid farks.

I work at a University, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Seriously. We are seeing helicopter parents in numbers we never have before. The umbilical cord is simply not cut for a lot of these kids.

The two highlight (just highlights, I was dealing with at least one a day) was the Father who called to create his son's class schedule five days before the semester started because his son could not be arsed to do it when his registration slot opened up in October and was, at the time the father called, "out with his girlfriend."

Then there was the student who walked into my office the day classes started trying to get into a closed class. There was no more physical room in the class. She called her mommy, who called the Department Chair and the Registrar who had to explain the concept of fire codes to her. Upon looking at the student's case more closely (ie. pulling up her transcript), we found she had failed the prerequisite course anyway.

But neither of those beats the case of the kid who's mom called my office because her son could not be arsed to walk into our office or call the department. He had to call mommy because he...He *sniff* *sniff* He couldn't find his classroom!

(That was a couple semesters ago.)

So yeah, parents and kids need to cut the damn umbilical chord when they go to college. You spent all your teen years biatching about how you parents run your life? Well, here's you chance to prove you can do it on your own!

I wasn't perfect, but I didn't come to college still sucking on momma's teat either.


I've had to spend the last week changing my schedule since the registrar merged two of the english classes so they overlapped with my biology lab so I'm getting a kick out of this.
/Did it myself. It's not that hard people. I talked to the registrar and eventually managed to do so. It was a pain. It also helps that while I'll I could be more independent from my parents they are anything but helicopter parents.
 
2012-01-24 08:55:42 AM  
I'm just glad that the fire didn't spread all the way over to Sunset, that's a great bar.
 
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