So after years of fighting logic, one Republican brain fights back.

/I kid
//Get well soon sir.

Never trust a puppet.

Out yourself Subby, so we may toast your glorious bastardry!

Sparky The Wonder Ferret: Crap, he's younger than me...I guess I've got maybe a few good years left

I usually deduct whatever age I am from 70. Those are my "guaranteed" years left. Every day after 70 is a crapshoot.

/though I could still contract Lupus before then

He took entertainment industry money and is against SOPA/PIPA (new window)

lol! great headline!

Kirk had a stroke? Who's in charge of the Enterprise then?

KAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

Winning: God Bless him...I pray that he does not die without Christ! I pray that he survives and is able to live to invite Jesus into his heart, re evaluate his stance on killing God`s unborn children, gay marriage etc.

God Be merciful to us sinners! God Bless and save Mark

This thread just been Tebowed

hbk72777: I usually deduct whatever age I am from 70. Those are my "guaranteed" years left. Every day after 70 is a crapshoot.

You have a Fark login, so your life expectancy stands to be a couple of decades short of seventy. You will also find yourself ineligible for liver transplants.

At first I was like

Lando Lincoln: As my Senator, I really don't think I'm going to see a difference in what services he's provided me.

I write Durbin letters a lot, and he always responds, usually with a standard form letter, but sometimes I can tell he personally wrote something to me.

Whenever I wrote Obama, not only did I get a response, but sometimes I got a follow up letter to the response. Obama was a great Senator.

Kirk? He sucks.

So yeah...get better soon, and then get the hell out of office, because you suck at your job.

Don't be so sure on that, I remember friends from 2004 who volunteered for Bush on the presidential campaign and received "hand written letters" from him. I had to point out that they were also form letters, designed to look like hand written stationary.

In an announcement today, Senator Kirk said, "Consed dolortin henibh er summy nim zzrit lut erostrud eugiat numsan venit augait nim nullam."

Magorn: Not to get too political or jump the gun here, and I do hope that he makes a full and speedy recovery becaue I wouldn't wish a stroke on my worst enemy, but what does Illinois's sucession law look like in the wake of Gov. "Farking Golden" 's little felony conviction that arose out of his attempt to replace the last IL senator who ended his term prematurely?

It still goes to the highest bidder, but it's now a secret auction.

Dang, he does seem pretty youthful.

Get well soon Mark! Also please take Gabby's lead and resign to aid the healing, so you can live long and prosper.

/ He's remarkably non-assholish for a Republican

USCLaw2010: Lando Lincoln: As my Senator, I really don't think I'm going to see a difference in what services he's provided me.

I write Durbin letters a lot, and he always responds, usually with a standard form letter, but sometimes I can tell he personally wrote something to me.

Whenever I wrote Obama, not only did I get a response, but sometimes I got a follow up letter to the response. Obama was a great Senator.

Kirk? He sucks.

So yeah...get better soon, and then get the hell out of office, because you suck at your job.

Don't be so sure on that, I remember friends from 2004 who volunteered for Bush on the presidential campaign and received "hand written letters" from him. I had to point out that they were also form letters, designed to look like hand written stationary.

Durbin hasn't written a letter himself since the ice age. He doesn't even know what the internet *is*. And someone's going to believe this?

Let me provide a hint: if the letter itself is not hand written and reads like a form letter, it wasn't written by the political figure who replied. 100% of the time unless you're already providing them financial backing. Votes don't count.

He's doing the ol' Bruschi, I see,

Oh well, I can't wait for his first day back on the job, when ESPN televises his committee meetings, and when he goes to make an open field tackle, he will get completely juked out of his shoes by the offensive player, who is then tackled 5 yards downfield by a second linebacker trailing the play. Mike Patrick will then give all credit for the tackle to Kirk.

Krymson Tyde: 3 old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a younger man whipped open his trench coat to expose his penis.
The 1st old lady had a stroke then the 2nd old lady had a stroke.
The 3rd old lady's arms were to short to reach.

Posted on Facebook

Imperfect biological unit.

Guidette Frankentits: He took entertainment industry money and is against SOPA/PIPA (new window)

So... stroke, just a coincidence?

olddeegee: Wow. Don't like the guy but I hope he recovers soon and then realizes that politics is an evil way to spend your life so he resigns and gives his seat to a Democrat.

Yeah, I don't want Kirk to be in office representing my state but I don't want the dude to die or live the rest of his life a vegetable.

Also, now that he's gone who's gonna supply the candy to the Republicans? Link (new window)

jaytkay: Dang, he does seem pretty youthful.

Get well soon Mark! Also please take Gabby's lead and resign to aid the healing, so you can live long and prosper.

/ He's remarkably non-assholish for a Republican

How come everyone is being so civil in this thread? Did I come to the wrong place?

Lando Lincoln: As my Senator, I really don't think I'm going to see a difference in what services he's provided me.

I write Durbin letters a lot, and he always responds, usually with a standard form letter, but sometimes I can tell he personally wrote something to me.

Whenever I wrote Obama, not only did I get a response, but sometimes I got a follow up letter to the response. Obama was a great Senator.

Kirk? He sucks.

So yeah...get better soon, and then get the hell out of office, because you suck at your job.

So his job performance is based on the services he provides you, which are responding to your many letters and not forgetting to send you a follow up letter? Sheesh.

dericwater: Guidette Frankentits: He took entertainment industry money and is against SOPA/PIPA (new window)

So... stroke, just a coincidence?

I wonder if any of that was from the adult entertainment industry

Republicans gave him the stroke to draw attention off of them running Giffords out of office after shooting her and all the angry rhetoric.

Goddam nazi republicans.

Jello!

peasants_are_revolting: jaytkay: Dang, he does seem pretty youthful.

Get well soon Mark! Also please take Gabby's lead and resign to aid the healing, so you can live long and prosper.

/ He's remarkably non-assholish for a Republican

How come everyone is being so civil in this thread? Did I come to the wrong place?

Give it time, peasants_are_revolting. Give it time.

R.A.Danny: 52 years old? I am not a fan of his, but that seems young, and he has always seemed to be quite fit.

A politician in Illinois having a stroke at an unusually young age?

Yeah, that's a stumper...

Lando Lincoln: As my Senator, I really don't think I'm going to see a difference in what services he's provided me.

I write Durbin letters a lot, and he always responds, usually with a standard form letter, but sometimes I can tell he personally wrote something to me.

Are you shiatting me? I write Durbin all the time, he never writes back personally. Hell, it's clear his staffer didn't even bother reading what I wrote. It's always some generic response on his current position regarding that specific issue.

His response always starts with (essentially) the exact same two sentences:

Thank you for contacting me to express your concern about the Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property (PROTECT IP) Act of 2011 and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). I appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you for your email. I appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you for contacting me regarding the budget deal that will fund the federal government for the remainder of fiscal year (FY) 2011. I appreciate hearing from you on this issue.

Thank you for contacting me about the Tax Relief, Unemployment Insurance Reauthorization, and Job Creation Act. I appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you for contacting me about mandatory term limits for Members of the House of Representatives and the United States Senate. I appreciate knowing your views on this issue.

Lando Lincoln: Whenever I wrote Obama, not only did I get a response, but sometimes I got a follow up letter to the response. Obama was a great Senator.

Are you shiatting me? Do you remember what came of Obama's idea to contact the White House and whatever got voted on high enough he would respond? You remember the canned shiat responses we got back?

I mean, lots of reasons to hate Kirk and love Durbin/Obama. But this is definitely not one of them.

Strokes! HA!

/the hell is wrong with you people?
//no. I'm not new here. Why?