*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*oh please*

/I'm aware there is almost no chance of this being true.

Back when the web was young and all the action was still on USENET, I was on a newsgroup with Elon Musk and some other folks interested in space exploration.

There was one troll on that newgroup who would not shut the fark up about Venus and there being life there. No matter what your conversation was, he was like some kind of chatbot that would insinuate himself into your thread and immediately try to threadjack it into a Venus discussion. He had all manner of elaborate theories and lived to debate anybody who paid attention to him. I think I did get him to shut up for a week one time, when I published his home address and phone. But he just came back. One of the reasons I left USENET was to get away from that guy.

The Russian who sees things in these old photos reminded me of that troll and how if he's read the same posting, he's probably drenched himself by now.

Not true but it DID get the guys name in the papers.

Man, I want to be a Russian Scientist when I grow up. They got all the crazy whack theories.

Let's suppose that this scientist is full of crap.

/Does that count as a theory? Or just a hypothesis?

But in his article, published in the magazine Solar System Research, Ksanfomaliti says the Russian photographs depict objects resembling a "disk," a "black flap" and a "scorpion."

Venutian Scorpions? That's it, we're farked.

So life there consists of wearing pajama pants and flip flops when out in public?

Any Pie Left: Back when the web was young and all the action was still on USENET, I was on a newsgroup with Elon Musk and some other folks interested in space exploration.

There was one troll on that newgroup who would not shut the fark up about Venus and there being life there. No matter what your conversation was, he was like some kind of chatbot that would insinuate himself into your thread and immediately try to threadjack it into a Venus discussion. He had all manner of elaborate theories and lived to debate anybody who paid attention to him. I think I did get him to shut up for a week one time, when I published his home address and phone. But he just came back. One of the reasons I left USENET was to get away from that guy.

The Russian who sees things in these old photos reminded me of that troll and how if he's read the same posting, he's probably drenched himself by now.

So he was like Bevets?

The only place in the solar system more hazardous to life than Venus is the surface of the Sun. That Russian probe, despite being made of titanium with a diamond lens on the camera, lasted about 5-10 minutes in the Venusian atmosphere before dying. The 'scientition' is just looking at clouds and seeing what he wants to see. Like seeing Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich.

That was just an exhaust port from the underground city of Burlatia. I know some "folks" from there and they rock!

Heat and scorpions?

How can this article not include the pictures he is referring to?

A few thoughts on this..

* It is pretty amazing even now that this was attempted and actually worked.

* The modern re-working of the original image data is SO much better than the images that were released at the time. It is almost like entirely new images were made and so very cool.

* A lot has been made in the vs. forums, nutter and serious, of the funny taco shaped thing on the ground; that is actually the lens cover from the lander, not the "life" that they are talking about.

* In addition one of the landers had a weird accident where the lens cover landed on the ground, then the "penetrator" experiment whammed down on it smashing it. Later landers had a tether on the cap to prevent this.

Slu: How can this article not include the pictures he is referring to?

Because I knew someone would be incapable of googling up 30 year old photos, here ya go:

Was that so hard? (new window)

Goddess on a Mountaintop?

tankjr: Slu: How can this article not include the pictures he is referring to?

Because I knew someone would be incapable of googling up 30 year old photos, here ya go:

Was that so hard? (new window)

I don't even care that much about the pics. And I did google them myself.

My comment is more of a critique of the article than anything else. It would seem like a no brainer to include pics in an article like this. Who writes an article referring explicitly to pics and then fails to include them?

But thanks anyway for your douchy response. Unless you wrote the article. In which case you should have included the pics, or a link to the pics, in the first place.

Whut?

bigmoneygrip: Was this the probe they sent to Venus?

[i683.photobucket.com image 400x263]

/Obscure?

Steve Austin stopped it. But it cost him six million dollars.

tankjr: bigmoneygrip: Was this the probe they sent to Venus?

[i683.photobucket.com image 400x263]

/Obscure?

Steve Austin stopped it. But it cost him six million dollars.

It only tore part of his hand off, I'm sure it was under warranty.

Look, the Lizard People want you to believe that Venus is not inhabitable. They run NASA the ESA, what do you expect Western scientists to say? How else can they continue to enslave us on this planet? They will continue to tell us the Solar System is not viable for life, or try to pawn off Mars has some kind of inhabitable space after a monstrous terraforming effort, whilst keeping the planet of Venus their own.

The Soviets were on to the Venusian conspiracy, and look what happened to them. This scientist knows the truth, but he'll end up being polonized.

So, shiat lives in crushing pressure at the bottom of the ocean in sulfer vents. Why can't bacteria/protists maybe a fungi live on Venus?

#dnrtfa yet.

Somebody better call Billy Batson.

dababler: So, shiat lives in crushing pressure at the bottom of the ocean in sulfer vents. Why can't bacteria/protists maybe a fungi live on Venus?

Don't be silly. The fungi live on Yuggoth Pluto.

dababler: So, shiat lives in crushing pressure at the bottom of the ocean in sulfer vents. Why can't bacteria/protists maybe a fungi live on Venus?

#dnrtfa yet.

Don't bother. There is really nothing to see in the pictures I've found online and this guy is basing his theory on a gut feeling. There still is no hard evidence.

Russian scientist claims signs of life spotted on Venus. Wal-Mart immediately plans opening of store #8403 broke and out of vodka.

bigmoneygrip: Was this the probe they sent to Venus?

[i683.photobucket.com image 400x263]

/Obscure?


WUT?

egg_mcmuffin: I see nothing in the pics. Anyone know which of them he is referring to?

If you zoom in REALLY tight you can see the scorpion (new window) he's talking about.

FTFA: photographs depict objects resembling a "disk," a "black flap" and a "scorpion."

Seriously: He sees blurry shapes in the fog that could best be described as "somewhat circular", "somewhat rectangular" and "a squiggle", and from there he gets to "life on Venus!!11@!"? I had to double-check I wasn't reading Pravda...

/Disappointed nobody posted the "not saying it's aliens" guy yet

dababler: So, shiat lives in crushing pressure at the bottom of the ocean in sulfer vents. Why can't bacteria/protists maybe a fungi live on Venus?

#dnrtfa yet.

Been wondering this for a couple years now, too. But I think the lack of liquid water is the main reason. Then again, for all we know, maybe life can develop without it. It seems unlikely, but if somebody is serious about finding a completely different kind of life than what we know on Earth, Venus is probably a good starting point. Once you get past the whole 'our instruments can't survive for more than 10 minutes on the surface' thing.

czetie: /Disappointed nobody posted the "not saying it's aliens" guy yet

Given Venus' insanely crushing atmospheric density, 900 degree surface temperature, thick clouds of sulfuric acid which actually rain sulfuric acid and the possibility that the planetary surface regularly liquifies into molten lava, I think any form of like on Venus would be...pretty tough.

And if it's bigger than a microbe, it will probably kick out asses in a second.

czetie: I had to double-check I wasn't reading Pravda...

^^^THIS^^^. I have often wondered how the Russians ever got anything off the ground, technologically speaking, considering that even their best science journals are filled with this kind of crap. Then it occurred to me...

Their rocketry used captured German scientists and engineers...

Their jet engines were based on plans given to them by the Brits...

Their jet fighters were based on WW2 German planes (same as our F-86)...

Their nukes were based on plans stolen from the US...

And so on and so forth...

They DO have very good theoretical mathematics, though. And their cold-rolled titanium SSB hulls are bleeding edge. But they can't design a cell phone that looks more modern than this:



/American, so feeling smugly superior

madgonad: The only place in the solar system more hazardous to life than Venus is the surface of the Sun. That Russian probe, despite being made of titanium with a diamond lens on the camera, lasted about 5-10 minutes in the Venusian atmosphere before dying. The 'scientition' is just looking at clouds and seeing what he wants to see. Like seeing Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich.

To what type of life? To us? Yes.

It's a pretty close-minded thing to think that just because we can't survive there, nothing else can.
There are organisms on earth who live their entire lives in noxious gases that would kill us in an instant. But that's not possible right, because those conditions are "hazardous to life".

Dr. Whoof: egg_mcmuffin: I see nothing in the pics. Anyone know which of them he is referring to?

If you zoom in REALLY tight you can see the scorpion (new window) he's talking about.

You glorious bastard...

bigmoneygrip: Was this the probe they sent to Venus?

[i683.photobucket.com image 400x263]

/Obscure?

Six Million DOllar Man?

Dr. Whoof: egg_mcmuffin: I see nothing in the pics. Anyone know which of them he is referring to?

If you zoom in REALLY tight you can see the scorpion (new window) he's talking about.

"What if we forget about the fact that this isn't an actual pictures from Venus?" he wrote. "Let's boldly suggest that this is the actual picture and proves Scorpion is living there."

That picture in the article had me doing a serious double-take. Why? Because of this picture...




...which I took. They're much closer together in the article but I think Venus looks better in my pic.

/full size (new window)

Slu: tankjr: Slu: How can this article not include the pictures he is referring to?

Because I knew someone would be incapable of googling up 30 year old photos, here ya go:

Was that so hard? (new window)

I don't even care that much about the pics. And I did google them myself.

My comment is more of a critique of the article than anything else. It would seem like a no brainer to include pics in an article like this. Who writes an article referring explicitly to pics and then fails to include them?

But thanks anyway for your douchy response. Unless you wrote the article. In which case you should have included the pics, or a link to the pics, in the first place.

Your post is useless without pics of your dripping vag.

tankjr: Slu: tankjr: Slu: How can this article not include the pictures he is referring to?

Because I knew someone would be incapable of googling up 30 year old photos, here ya go:

Was that so hard? (new window)

I don't even care that much about the pics. And I did google them myself.

My comment is more of a critique of the article than anything else. It would seem like a no brainer to include pics in an article like this. Who writes an article referring explicitly to pics and then fails to include them?

But thanks anyway for your douchy response. Unless you wrote the article. In which case you should have included the pics, or a link to the pics, in the first place.

Your post is useless without pics of your dripping vag.

My vag is way more sandy than dripping.

dababler: So, shiat lives in crushing pressure at the bottom of the ocean in sulfer vents. Why can't bacteria/protists maybe a fungi live on Venus?

#dnrtfa yet.

Pressure's hardly an issue.

People who study such things say that carbon-based life seems to have the greatest range of chemical possibilities (tools in the evolutionary toolbox), though there have been thought experiments about silicon based life, and other interesting stuff. So who knows, maybe Venusian CO2 and sulfur wouldn't preclude life.

Regardless, I don't think anybody imagines life without some kind of wide assortment of large complex molecules. And the problem with Venus is that, at 900F, it's thermodynamically too improbable for large molecules to exist, at least for long. No large molecules with complex interactions... no life, at least no chemically-based life.

machoprogrammer: Any Pie Left: Back when the web was young and all the action was still on USENET, I was on a newsgroup with Elon Musk and some other folks interested in space exploration.

There was one troll on that newgroup who would not shut the fark up about Venus and there being life there. No matter what your conversation was, he was like some kind of chatbot that would insinuate himself into your thread and immediately try to threadjack it into a Venus discussion. He had all manner of elaborate theories and lived to debate anybody who paid attention to him. I think I did get him to shut up for a week one time, when I published his home address and phone. But he just came back. One of the reasons I left USENET was to get away from that guy.

The Russian who sees things in these old photos reminded me of that troll and how if he's read the same posting, he's probably drenched himself by now.

So he was like Bevetshe who must not be named?

Dude is like a fark version of a Harry Potter villain, once you type his name you alert him to your presence....

There was a young lady from Venus whose body was shaped like a

Mixolydian Master: tankjr: Slu: How can this article not include the pictures he is referring to?

Because I knew someone would be incapable of googling up 30 year old photos, here ya go:

Was that so hard? (new window)

Dude, you're kind of a dick. This whole article revolves around some farking pictures with some pretty ridiculous claims. Why is it the readers that are too lazy to go look them up, and not the farking author being to lazy to include them. He brought the farking story up, not us.

I'm tired of the whining, fellah. We all hate it when lazy authors neglect to include photos. It's gotten to the point that most of us just accept it. I find those of you that don't to be insufferable.