This just in: Heidi Klum got glasses.

Umm, is that zombie James Brown kissing Bo Derek?

I really thought those two crazy kids were going to make it.

The couple or their management are yet to comment on the reports.

I wonder if better management could have saved my first marriage.

U8D1EyedSnake: I really thought those two crazy kids were going to make it.

I'm pretty sure they made it

Crazy

Heidi raked in $20 million last year. It's unclear how much Seal made.

or he's probably tired of her shiot

U8D1EyedSnake: I really thought those two crazy kids were going to make it.

I don't think they were even a little crazy.

I don't think you're ever gonna survive marriage unless... you get a little crazy.

LewDux: U8D1EyedSnake: I really thought those two crazy kids were going to make it.

I'm pretty sure they made it

They left each other on the way to another love?

I heard harsh words were spoken and lives were broken

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

So she wants to be free?

whatshisname: So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Would have been a HOTY

She's probably clubbing it with someone else.

A celebrity marriage that lasted 6 years??? I'm impressed.

DIBS ON HEIDI!

They always acted so affectionate with each other, and she just had another kid not too long ago. There were pictures of them taken on vacation just a few months ago, and they were all over each other, it looked like they were perfectly happy.

This seems kind of sudden. It's going to come out that one or both of them was cheating.

So, someone beat Seal in the pants x bank account content department? Is Liam Neeson on the prowl?

Psykorgasm: She's probably clubbing it with someone else.

+1 internets means you don't owe me a keyboard. that made my morning

/easily amused
//that was bloody funny

Hi, i'm Seal. And you know me from the two songs i've been milking for the past 15 years. Link (new window)

Seal looks like an African guerrilla.

Guidette Frankentits: Seal looks like an African guerrilla.

ahhh the racists found fark...

Apos: Guidette Frankentits: Seal looks like an African guerrilla.

There are several on the continent,so specificity is key. Janjaweed? Lord's Resistance Army?

Seal's mom is Nigerian (Brazilian father). If we assume Seal's guerrilla's activities are likely to be in Nigeria, then I'm guessing Guidette was referring to the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND).

/insert "Niger, please" joke here.

I hope this doesn't scar him for future relationships

Not enough Heidi pics.

texdent: So much for kisses from that rose.

I'd kiss her rose, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

scottydoesntknow: Heidi Klum single?

[files.sharenator.com image 475x315]

*slow clap*

Big surprise. Heidi was divorced already and couldn't land her baby-daddy. Beauty is usually inversely proportionate to sanity.

And the above poster mentioned "guerilla", as in African rebel/freedom fighter. I think "James Scameron" is projecting his own race issues.

FTFA:

December 2004: Seal proposes

May 2005: The couple marry

September 2005: Heidi gives birth to the couple's first son

Math. Just sayin.

Boondock3806: FTFA:

December 2004: Seal proposes

May 2005: The couple marry

September 2005: Heidi gives birth to the couple's first son

Math. Just sayin.

Yeah. Youre absolutely right. Nobody has sex before marriage. This blog stinks or whatever that new craze these fark kids are using this day.

Really? Divorcing with four minor children?

Why are so many of our celebrities randomly terrible people?

JOHN MCENROE MY CHILDHOOD NEMESIS: Boondock3806: FTFA:

December 2004: Seal proposes

May 2005: The couple marry

September 2005: Heidi gives birth to the couple's first son

Math. Just sayin.

Yeah. Youre absolutely right. Nobody has sex before marriage. This blog stinks or whatever that new craze these fark kids are using this day.

You're on the right track, but that's not where I was headed. Keep digging, you can get there!

James Scameron: Heidi raked in $20 million last year. It's unclear how much Seal made.

or he's probably tired of her shiot

Cymbal: Umm, is that zombie James Brown kissing Bo Derek?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x448]

I thought it was Black Bon Jovi.

quoinguy: Big surprise. Heidi was divorced already and couldn't land her baby-daddy. Beauty is usually inversely proportionate to sanity.

And the above poster mentioned "guerilla", as in African rebel/freedom fighter. I think "James Scameron" is projecting his own race issues.

sarcasm...it's in the dictionary. that's a book with a whole buncha words in it. beside the words are the meanings...

guerrilla as opposed to gorilla is the where the sarcasm is at play there.
see, most people on Fark are much like you. NTB.

Boondock3806: James Scameron: Heidi raked in $20 million last year. It's unclear how much Seal made.

or he's probably tired of her shiot

[lh6.ggpht.com image 503x362]

the bold text implies he makes about $19,999,999 less than her a year...

so, to explain the obvs, she either turfed him because he's broke, or he got tired of living with a lunatic.

glad i could overstate the obvious for you. now go look at more cats on tumblr with your bffs and shush.

James Scameron: Boondock3806: James Scameron: Heidi raked in $20 million last year. It's unclear how much Seal made.

or he's probably tired of her shiot

[lh6.ggpht.com image 503x362]

the bold text implies he makes about $19,999,999 less than her a year...

so, to explain the obvs, she either turfed him because he's broke, or he got tired of living with a lunatic.

glad i could overstate the obvious for you. now go look at more cats on tumblr with your bffs and shush.

Obvious? The connection between the quoted statement and your comment was nowhere near obvious.

It's true that, no matter how hot the woman, there is a man somewhere who is tired of her shiat. Or shiot. What is absolutely NOT true, however, is that no man will ever be tired of a woman's shiat if she's hot AND she's bringing home $20 mil in a year.

You can go back to your brooding and woman-hating now.

PizzaJedi81: I'd kiss her rose, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

I don't. Care to elaborate?

Jim_Callahan: Really? Divorcing with four minor children?

Why are so many of our celebrities randomly terrible people?

Not to mention the crop in the field.

You picked a fine time to leave me, you Seal.