It's Not News It's Fark.com
Real news. Real funny
Log In
|
Sign Up »
Login
Password
Forgot password?
X
Fark
TotalFark
my
Fark
About/FArQ
Contests
Store
Contact Us
Mobile
Search:
Password
Login
Turn on javascript (or enable it for Fark) for a better user experience.
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Main
Sports
Business
Geek
Entertainment
Politics
Video
Random Question of the Day: You've just been crowned Supreme Dictator-for-Life of the Entire World. What is your first official act, your Excellency?
(
fark.com
)
474
More:
Survey
• • •
posted to
Main »
on
21 Jan 2012
at
8:56 AM
|
Favorite
| share:
more»
Share this link:
URL:
http://fk.cm/go/6893610
Bookmark:
URL:
http://fk.cm/6893610
Bookmark:
Article
Comments
close
474 Comments
(
+0 »
)
Paginated (50/page)
Single page
Single page, reversed
Normal view
Change images to links
Show raw HTML
Show posts from ignored users
View Voting Results:
Smartest
and
Funniest
First
|
«
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
»
|
Last
|
Show all
No_47
2012-01-21 07:24:00 AM
Doing your wife
Aarontology
2012-01-21 07:25:32 AM
People who don't scrape all the snow off their cars get put on an ice floe..
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 07:26:47 AM
No_47
:
Doing your wife
Well, at least you have good taste in women.
CoolBeans
2012-01-21 07:28:33 AM
First, I want some quiet around here - damn world's too f*cking noisy.
Mr. Fuzzypaws
2012-01-21 07:30:55 AM
Tiny Earthican flags for some, abortions for others!
spcMike
2012-01-21 07:31:19 AM
Orgy with Scarlet Johansson, Marisa Miller, Christina Hendricks, Mila Kunis, Kiera Knightley, and Kate Beckinsale.
Aarontology
2012-01-21 07:31:38 AM
Second: A servant to find out where this blasted chirping sound is coming from.
rostit
2012-01-21 07:34:26 AM
Aarontology
:
Second: A servant to find out where this blasted chirping sound is coming from.
the servant suggests a smoke detector with a low battery.
Earguy
2012-01-21 07:34:48 AM
1. Declare myself rich.
2. Resign
doglover
2012-01-21 07:34:51 AM
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 07:35:41 AM
rostit
:
Aarontology: Second: A servant to find out where this blasted chirping sound is coming from.
the servant suggests a smoke detector with a low battery.
Or a cricket with a low battery.
shivashakti
2012-01-21 07:36:06 AM
Use the wealth of the rich countries to solve the problems of famine and malnutrition in the poor countries.
Aarontology
2012-01-21 07:37:13 AM
rostit
:
Aarontology: Second: A servant to find out where this blasted chirping sound is coming from.
the servant suggests a smoke detector with a low battery.
It's not that. It sounds like it's coming from the computer or that general area.
I would have thought all the crickets were dead by now. hm.
likes838
2012-01-21 07:37:54 AM
Seeing as how I've been up for way too long now, for all to leave me alone and let me get some sleep. The New Age of War can come later on.
gopher321
2012-01-21 07:44:52 AM
Nuke Texas.
Jenthelibrarian
2012-01-21 07:47:41 AM
Total nuclear disarmament, end to charitable status for religions and Benedict Cumberbatch to be sent to my boudoir.
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 07:48:30 AM
Aarontology
:
rostit: Aarontology: Second: A servant to find out where this blasted chirping sound is coming from.
the servant suggests a smoke detector with a low battery.
It's not that. It sounds like it's coming from the computer or that general area.
I would have thought all the crickets were dead by now. hm.
They've been surviving on stale pizza leftovers and half-empty beers.
Aarontology
2012-01-21 07:50:03 AM
Rafterman2
:
They've been surviving on stale pizza leftovers and half-empty beers.
The hell? That's MY beer!
Crudbucket
2012-01-21 07:51:14 AM
I'd retire.
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 07:55:10 AM
Aarontology
:
Rafterman2: They've been surviving on stale pizza leftovers and half-empty beers.
The hell? That's MY beer!
Until they gang up and start raiding your fridge at night.
sarahthustra
2012-01-21 07:59:31 AM
i'd lock the cat out of my bedroom at night.
officially.
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 08:01:15 AM
sarahthustra
:
i'd lock the cat out of my bedroom at night.
officially.
Snerk.
rostit
2012-01-21 08:06:43 AM
sarahthustra
:
i'd lock the cat out of my bedroom at night.
officially.
silly sarahthustrarustarasta...
You mean locking youself IN your bedroom.
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 08:11:06 AM
rostit
:
sarahthustra: i'd lock the cat out of my bedroom at night.
officially.
silly sarahthustrarustarasta...
You mean locking youself IN your bedroom.
Officially?
a_bilge_monkey
2012-01-21 08:21:20 AM
Green a cafe thread... oh wait.
Aarontology
2012-01-21 08:21:20 AM
Rafterman2
:
Until they gang up and start raiding your fridge at night.
I'm going ot teach the milk to use a shotgun.
dimoko
2012-01-21 08:21:27 AM
i would make this thread green.
gunsmack
2012-01-21 08:25:12 AM
I'd institute the death penalty for Jersey Shore.
/cast and audience
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 08:26:37 AM
Sweet. We're green.
PC LOAD LETTER
2012-01-21 08:27:51 AM
Make Fark TV the official news outlet. I will go down in INFAMY.
Ceteris Paribus says
2012-01-21 08:28:28 AM
I'd swap the rosters of the NYY and the Jets.
calbert
2012-01-21 08:28:56 AM
find Dr. Sam Beckett and bring him home.
Ceteris Paribus says
2012-01-21 08:29:11 AM
PC LOAD LETTER
:
Make Fark TV the official news outlet. I will go down in
INFAMY
A TRUCK STOP MENS ROOM.
Englebert Slaptyback
2012-01-21 08:29:33 AM
Any politician who ignores issues, ignores critical thinking, and uses religion as a guide will forfeit all assets and will be placed in solitary confinement for 180 days.
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 08:29:33 AM
Ceteris Paribus says
:
I'd swap the rosters of the NYY and the Jets.
Yeah, but what would that do to Mark Sanchez' ERA?
gspazg
2012-01-21 08:30:28 AM
Englebert Slaptyback
:
Any politician who ignores issues, ignores critical thinking, and uses religion as a guide will forfeit all assets and will be placed in solitary confinement for 180 days.
So, all of them?
Ceteris Paribus says
2012-01-21 08:30:43 AM
Rafterman2
:
Ceteris Paribus says: I'd swap the rosters of the NYY and the Jets.
Yeah, but what would that do to Mark Sanchez' ERA?
Let's see Santonio hit some high heat. We could get Susan Waldman to play nose gaurd.
Ceteris Paribus says
2012-01-21 08:32:04 AM
I would change the national anthem to this:
Link
(new window)
monty666
2012-01-21 08:33:14 AM
Anal Fiesta!!
Aarontology
2012-01-21 08:34:07 AM
monty666
:
Anal Fiesta!!
Con Shostie.
ZAZ
2012-01-21 08:35:05 AM
Remember that story about the African leader (Swaziland?) and the pageant of topless teenage girls to pick his wives from? He had a good idea, but not ambituous enough.
sarahthustra
2012-01-21 08:35:43 AM
oh no.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT, RUFUS
Englebert Slaptyback
2012-01-21 08:36:40 AM
gspazg
So, all of them?
At first, yes. I'd like to think that any remaining who were prone to pandering would begin to see the error of their ways.
Besides, whether they screw up now or five years from now, they would get thrown into the hole. It would keep them rational indefinitely or they would pay for their folly.
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 08:36:46 AM
Ceteris Paribus says
:
I would change the national anthem to this: Link (new window)
Or
this
(new window). Just to watch people's heads assplode.
Kyro
2012-01-21 08:36:59 AM
Broccoli is to be napalmed off the planet.
monty666
2012-01-21 08:37:33 AM
Aarontology
:
monty666: Anal Fiesta!!
Con Shostie.
Ayieeeieee!!!
Nina Haagen Dazs
2012-01-21 08:39:12 AM
Religion can only be discussed in church.
Kyro
2012-01-21 08:40:08 AM
By royal decree, Cornbread is to be renamed Corncake
Rafterman2
2012-01-21 08:40:10 AM
sarahthustra
:
oh no.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT, RUFUS
Is Rufus the cat? Doesn't he know you officially locked him out of the bedroom?
Ceteris Paribus says
2012-01-21 08:41:14 AM
Rafterman2
:
Ceteris Paribus says: I would change the national anthem to this: Link (new window)
Or this (new window). Just to watch people's heads assplode.
You're a bad man. Bad man.
Displayed
50
of
474
comments
First
|
«
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
»
|
Last
|
Show all
View Voting Results:
Smartest
and
Funniest
Redisplay/refresh comments
This thread is closed to new comments.
Submit a Link »
Like Fark!
+1 Fark!
Follow @fark on Twitter
Fark via RSS
Top Links
Top Comments
Top Submitters
Press/Publicity
Headlines of the Week
All Latest
Fark Forum
Link Voting
Sports Forum
Fark Blogs
Geek Forum
Fark Book
Entertainment Forum
Fark Travel Guide
Politics Forum
Fark Parties
Fark Party Forum
Fark Chat
Photoshop Forum
PS/Photo Browser
Farktography Forum
Fark Quiz
From the
Fark Shop
:
Not So Great Outdoors Moments
Ladies Wallet - Woven Stainless Steel
R2-D2 Nutcracker
Legendary Partying Pint Glass
More from the
Fark Shop
»
Stories from our partner sites:
5 Movie Roles Will Smith (Probably) N...
Katy Perry Seems Surprisingly Cool Ab...
The GIFs That Keep on Giving
This Baby Elephant is Almost Too Cute...
More news at Scribol »
Justin Bieber -- Training with MIKE T...
Mark Zuckerberg Romes During Honeymoon
Justin Bieber -- Battery Suspect
Donna Summer Lithographs -- Art Galle...
More news at TMZ »
Vintage Vegas: Rare Photos of a Deser...
Hell on Wheels: In Praise of Mutant B...
World War II: Pictures We Remember
Behind the Picture: The Liberation of...
More news at Life »
Timberlake and Biel celebrate engagement
Watercooler Stories
Jockstrip: The world as we know it.
Your Daily Horoscope
More news at UPI »