1) Immediately send Justin Bieber, the Kardashians, and the cast of Jersey Shore to Guantanamo Bay for indefinite detention, to be followed by other inexcusable attention whores at my discretion.

2) Clive Owen, John Cusack, and Matthew Lewis are appointed my official Gentlemen of the Bedchamber.

rostit: so you want to put their shows on that Oprah channel, OWN?

... it'd bring in ratings, right?

Hey, wait a minute! I'm a Supreme Dictator for Life, ain't I? Isn't having my own channel one of the perks of the position?

I would announce on global television all religions are hereby banned from killing in the name of their brand of magic, and give them 6 months to self police their fringers or be permanently banned as a religion.

I would ban all dictators.

And I'd go last.

(Stop arguing, Drew. I'M Supreme Dictator now.)

JohnCarter: 3) Have a three way with these 2 after the lawn party

I thought you were having a Rick Perry moment because I read that as "with these three" but there were only two women there. Then I realized that I was the one having a Rick Perry moment.

But then I thought, any common person can have a menage a trois, even I've done it and I'm about as common as it gets. For a Supreme Dictator-for-life the trifecta of blonde-brunette-redhead is merely Saturday morning.

Brutally punish the TSA.

Dana Vespol, Chole Nicole

/further Deponet sayeth not

The SECOND thing I would do is put someone in charge who knows more about high finance than I do to root out those weird nuances that don't create any jobs and just line the pockets of a few mega-wealthy money changers. Like heavily trading in currency exchanges just to grab loophole overnight profits.

No Religion
No Lawyers

Then the world will be bathed in bliss.

Ensure fealty of heads of state from various countries and economic regions by convening world union assembly in Antarctica.

You must be at least

IQ 120
smart to reproduce.

/Six generations of imbeciles are enough.

rev. dave: I would tell people to stop having children. Then come up with some way to "fix" people so that only a 5% random few of the people would be able to have children and then only 1 successful pregnancy, afterwards that parent gets "fixed" too.

Well Humanity should be wiped out in just a couple of generations then.

Thanks a lot rev. dave! Sheesh!

If I were supreme ruler, I would end war, murder would mean life in prison with no parole, no one would be hungry and there would be an asshole tax. If 5 different people agree that you are an asshole and can present evidence, then you are taxed at a much higher rate.

Oh - and I'd do two chicks at the same time.

Well the FIRST thing I'd do is make unintended consequences illegal. Then I'd make a bunch of petty,vindictive laws up on the spot without having to worry about how they'll never work. Then I'd force some hot women to do me in really pervy ways 'cause I'm a rapist.

I'd like to teach the world to sing. In perfect harmony.

Private companies cannot be very big.

Workers receive a percentage of company profits.

Global health care and education.

Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann stripped naked and spanked hard in front of me by a thin lipped dominatrix every evening.

maq0r: No Religion
No Lawyers

Then the world will be bathed in bliss.

Yes Comrade!
/just kidding

Enact simple litmus test for all over 21. Evolution is a fact. True or False.

True = Welcome, citizen.
Any other response = Bullet to brain, bill for round sent to remaining family (if any).

Seriously not trolling. I don't even want responses. It is the 21st century. We need to kill superstition and march forward with science.

/Thinking of Mr. Sagan

whizbang: rev. dave: I would tell people to stop having children. Then come up with some way to "fix" people so that only a 5% random smartest few of the people would be able to have children and then only 1 successful pregnancy, afterwards that parent gets "fixed" too.

fixed

You're going to run out of ditch diggers and janitors real quick.

1 .No more wars. If you start something you die
2. make scientists find a cure for all diseases
3. release all classified information of every former government
4. no income tax
5. free healthcare
6. free speech
7. free college education
8. legalize all drugs

Mimes and street artists

Scorpion pit

shivashakti: Use the wealth of the rich countries to solve the problems of famine and malnutrition in the poor countries.



fark the poor!

hitlersbrain:

Came here for this.

Watch the 3rd season of In Treatment and split a bottle of Malbec with Zooey Deschanel. Because I'm gay.

Sorry, late, but ...

I decree no vegetarian food can be named after real food. So no veggie bacon, to tofurky or whatever the fark you want to call it.

Secondly, you must have a winning record to make the NBA playoffs.

Then I do your wife.

Naked Fridays.

Free beer for everyone!!!

Steve Zodiac: Parthenogenetic: I would change America's national anthem from "The Star Spangled Banner" to "America the Beautiful". Seriously, a song about a flag? And it's too hard to sing (O'er the laaaaa-nd of the FREEEEEE-*choke*), and who can remember all those words?

Oh wait, dictator of the WORLD? Hm.

I would declare the global anthem to be the "Batman" song. The old school, Adam West version. Imagine standing up before every ball game and singing that instead of "The Star Spangled Banner". That, or maybe the Scooby Doo theme song.

Maybe I'm not qualified for this job.

If the sight of tens of thousands of people patriotically singing

"Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!"

doesn't send chills down your spine..... The I will have you taken out and shot.

The national anthem would need to be something I can sing, by which I mean shout at the top of my lungs while wasted. Jeremiah was a Bullfrog, L.A. Woman and anything by LMFAO comes to mind.

Set up myself a nice nest egg and a house and then quit. When you are supreme ruler everyone is going to be gunning for your head...with guns. Not worth the hassle.

Monorails

I would have Rupert Murdoch and the entire News Corp administrative hierarchy ( all companies, vice president and up ) declared traitors to humanity and sentence them to a lifetime of prison labor.

I would outlaw Canada, then change it's name to North North Dakota

Pay Peter Gabriel all the royalties he would've gotten from having "In Your Eyes" and "Solsbury Hill" played on the radio and in movie trailers for the next, say, 30 years, then ban them from any public performance whatsoever until I am dead.

/nothing wrong with the songs, they're just wayyyy too overplayed.

After making myself immune to prosecution or any form of financial liability in any jurisdiction for any reason: nothing. Use that power, don't use that power - everything's gonna be your fault anyway. Timmy falls down the well: your fault. Pretty white girl goes missing: your fault. You find a drug that cures AIDS, cancer, and herpes: your fault for not curing them sooner. Nope, I'll take the path that might learn you all some sense in the long run and, through my complete abdication of responsibility, remind you this whole shooting match is your problem to figure out. Each and every day that I do bugger all.

Some people might get the harem thing going but, as when John Lennon bought himself a roomful of jaffa cakes from his first Beatles payment, you could sicken yourself to what was once a delicacy. Can you imagine that? Guys sick of the sight of pussy, gay guys sick of the sight of muscular buttocks, and gay girls back to being sick of the sight of pussy. The bisexuals would have it worst: they'd be sick of the sight of everyone! Nah, I'll take my chances with the residual attention my (fleeting) brush with global fame would generate.

One completely self-serving act and I'm outta the big picture forever. Bon chance, suckers!

dervish16108: Single payer health care.

And this! (: