Wow. And here I was, thinking I was good at saying, "the dog did it."

"Who's a good boy? Who's a goo woofy boy? Je ju kiew mommy? Yes you did! Who's a good boy?"

those aren't two pillows

How long did it take to train the dog?

I dunno, ask the ghost that trained the dog?

I don't believe this (below) at all. I think it's another one of those inexplicable shieldings of guilty parents, as was done with Jon Benet's mother and father, but the daily fail had a story about dogs strangling a six year old boy - wild speculation, as you'll see:

Her nightmare is over: Mother who spent 25 years as prime suspect in murder of son, 6, is finally cleared as police reveal he was killed by pack of dogs
Lawyer: 'She's extremely relieved and grateful to be exonerated and cleared of suspicion'
Dogs pulled on hoodie he was wearing, tightening it around his neck and choking off his air supply

Link (new window)

/Spentmiles, what the hell is going on with you lately?

PsiChi: Spentmiles, what the hell is going on with you lately?

What does that mean?

Ed Finnerty: When called for comment, dog had this to say:

[www.ragetrolling.com image 500x409]

I'm on the phone? (new window)

Should have RTFA'd. I missed a wonderful opportunity to say:

Nice job, DüsselDORKe!

spentmiles: PsiChi: Spentmiles, what the hell is going on with you lately?

What does that mean?

Well, you normally have interesting comments, but I noticed they seem to be a little weirder than usual in the last couple I've read.

Domestic abuse blame shift trifecta in play?

Should we start a pool on what gets blamed next?

My money is on a cat (on Caturday, no less).

Clint_Torres: Should we start a pool on what gets blamed next?

midi-chlorians

PsiChi: Well, you normally have interesting comments

News to me.

It took him six months to train the dog to strangle...but it took him eight months to teach the dog to say "die biatch"

$1000 to rent the dog, and please get in line behind the other customers.

Clint_Torres: Domestic abuse blame shift trifecta in play?

Should we start a pool on what gets blamed next?

My money is on a cat (on Caturday, no less).

Next on to-do list: get dog.

Tom was on the side of the road and noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by another long black hearse about 50 feet back. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a Bernese Mountain Dog on a leash. Behind that were 200 men walking single file.
Tom couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said "Sir, I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
Tom asked, "What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog bit her and she died."
Tom inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned and bit her and she died."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Tom asks, "Sir, could I borrow that dog?"
He replied, "Get in line!"

simplicimus: Chinchillazilla: Their 35-kilo dog must have smothered her, the lawyer argued, saying it was well-known that they sometimes kill their own puppies this way by accident.

Okay, but a puppy is like yea big, and a woman is like yea big.

35 kilos is over 70 something pounds.

And a puppy is typically only a few ounces.

Can you imagine how awesome dogs would be if they had opposible thumbs??

police should be checking receipts and credit card charges for the obvious. no dog food? no treats? forget the snausages?

rover puts up with crap for just so long.

35 kilos is over 70 something pounds.

My dog is about 70 lbs. That isn't that big. I don't think my 70 lb dog could smother my 20 lb cat, much less a human sized target. The thing with smothering is that the victim struggles, even if they start out asleep - it isn't like freezing to death where they just go to sleep. A tiny puppy's struggles are weak enough that they don't dislodge a 70 lb dog, but a human's struggles would.

My gf snapped her mini-dachshunds spine by getting stoned and accidentally sitting on it (cue Sopranos reference.) I could see the mini trying to smother her now...

NotARocketScientist: 35 kilos is over 70 something pounds.

My dog is about 70 lbs. That isn't that big. I don't think my 70 lb dog could smother my 20 lb cat, much less a human sized target. The thing with smothering is that the victim struggles, even if they start out asleep - it isn't like freezing to death where they just go to sleep. A tiny puppy's struggles are weak enough that they don't dislodge a 70 lb dog, but a human's struggles would.

Well, just to play Devil's Advocate...

The woman's age isn't mentioned, but her husband was 50. The husband had "3.4 parts per thousand" blood alcohol, which (I think) translates to a .34 BAC, which affects breathing and heart rate, in addition to unconsciousness and possible death, plus the stupor and impaired sensations she had before she passed out.

So we have a around-50-year old woman (who is likely to have already had alcohol-related health problems) who drank enough that there was a chance of death just from the alcohol, as well as breathing/heart rate problems and a general lack of senses & understanding.

35 kilos is a little over 77 pounds. That's a decent-sized dog. If the dog laid in such a way that her head and/or neck was pinned beneath the bulk of the dog's weight (and I've seen dogs do this when they want attention), would she really have been able to push it off her, considering:

1.) she was far beyond legally drunk
2.) her breathing was already labored (making it much easier to smother her)
3.) she was experiencing dulled sensations (possibly not even feeling the weight until it was too late)
4.) she was dealing with a lack of judgement and understanding (once she felt the weight, it probably took her a bit to react)

It's quite possible that the dog just accidentally helped her along the way to death.