Egh.

You can't take it with you.

But this PLACEEBO(tm) pill is doing wonders for me!!

I suffer from severe cashiatis, so this is fine with me.

"We've every facility here for dealing with people who are rich. We can deal with a blocked purse, we can drain private accounts and in the worst cases we can perform a total cashectomy, which is total removal of all moneys from the patient."

\wants to work at St Nathan's Hospital For Young, Attractive Girls Who Aren't Particularly Ill

Oh, This guy! (new window)

Burzynski's a real jerk. Glad to see more action taken against him.

Impasse: \wants to work at St Nathan's Hospital For Young, Attractive Girls Who Aren't Particularly Ill

Put me in as an intern at the Drunk & Gullible wing.

Impasse: "We've every facility here for dealing with people who are rich. We can deal with a blocked purse, we can drain private accounts and in the worst cases we can perform a total cashectomy, which is total removal of all moneys from the patient."

\wants to work at St Nathan's Hospital For Young, Attractive Girls Who Aren't Particularly Ill

Approves:

"Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account."

They guarantee me the results in clinical testing are nothing short of shocking. Ellen from Retoxor is an attorney, so she can't lie.

The snake oil industry is alive and well in this country

/we need national guidelines for diagnosis and treatment of common illnesses.
in situations like this doctors should be required to explain how thier actions compare to national standards. it will allow us to separate honest medical care from slimy fraud.

//just assuming doctor knows best in all situations is nuts, why do we do it?

The doctor said I need a backyotomy.

It's sweet when the person you are depending on to save\extend your life is actually killing you for fun and profit.

I wonder what the doctors Fark name is.

AlgaeRancher: The snake oil industry is alive and well in this country

/we need national guidelines for diagnosis and treatment of common illnesses.
in situations like this doctors should be required to explain how thier actions compare to national standards. it will allow us to separate honest medical care from slimy fraud.

//just assuming doctor knows best in all situations is nuts, why do we do it?

In defense of doctors, Burzynski is barely a doctor. He certainly isn't an oncologist. He's a quack who "treats" people with urine precipitates.

AlgaeRancher: The snake oil industry is alive and well in this country

/we need national guidelines for diagnosis and treatment of common illnesses.
in situations like this doctors should be required to explain how thier actions compare to national standards. it will allow us to separate honest medical care from slimy fraud.

//just assuming doctor knows best in all situations is nuts, why do we do it?

Because Americans are medically indoctrinated

Building the surgeon a new summer home:

Sweet I can use my degree from the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College now!!

I will treat sexual disorders in women with my peniscope at 500 a session. They will only last 20 seconds though.

Rufus Lee King: Building the surgeon a new summer home:

[www.cardinalfang.net image 391x332]

"What about the nurses?"

"Well, I don't know about them. They're not allowed to mix with the patients."

groppet: Sweet I can use my degree from the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College now!!

I will treat sexual disorders in women with my peniscope at 500 a session. They will only last 20 seconds though.

Sadly, this was kinda Truefacts at the turn of the century. They called it 'Womb Manipulation.' Helped control 'female hysteria' and what not.

AlgaeRancher: The snake oil industry is alive and well in this country

/we need national guidelines for diagnosis and treatment of common illnesses.
in situations like this doctors should be required to explain how thier actions compare to national standards. it will allow us to separate honest medical care from slimy fraud.

//just assuming doctor knows best in all situations is nuts, why do we do it?

Writing this national standard would be a pretty huge job. Who would you suggest to work on, say, the proper dosages of medicine X for chronic condition Y? People who worked for the drug company and know the drug the best, but have a clear conflict of interest? Doctors who see (at most) 2-3 people a year with condition Y, with little follow-up? Congressmen?

\Currently working on a paper that agrees with some published studies, disagrees with others.

mekkab: But this PLACEEBO(tm) pill is doing wonders for me!!

It is called Obecalp.

Sigh... This is what happens when doctors refused to be honest with their patients and give them false hopes. Generally, stage IV cancer means that the disease has metastasized distally. It's the last stage before a patient is declared terminal. Few of these are ever treatable. If a patient is in stage IV, it's time for him/her to get his/her affairs in order and enter hospice care.

This quack should have his nuts removed with a butter knife.

I think I've heard of this guy before

Burzynski is a quack.

/I've got a triple fracture of the right leg, dislocated collar bone and multiple head injuries, so I do most of the heavy work

Why is there no mention of criminal action against this "doctor"?

/I mean prosecution not assault & battery but that might work better

The doctor said I need a backyotomy.


"He slept with my Mama!"

groppet: Sweet I can use my degree from the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College now!!

I will treat sexual disorders in women with my peniscope at 500 a session. They will only last 20 seconds though.

i film it all; souvenir DVD of your peniscope session merely $75. fully edited and personalized with your choice of background music and lighting effects. most people buy several DVD as they make lovely gifts.

draypresct SmartestFunniest 2012-01-20 03:51:11 PM


AlgaeRancher: The snake oil industry is alive and well in this country

/we need national guidelines for diagnosis and treatment of common illnesses.
in situations like this doctors should be required to explain how thier actions compare to national standards. it will allow us to separate honest medical care from slimy fraud.

//just assuming doctor knows best in all situations is nuts, why do we do it?

Writing this national standard would be a pretty huge job. Who would you suggest to work on, say, the proper dosages of medicine X for chronic condition Y? People who worked for the drug company and know the drug the best, but have a clear conflict of interest? Doctors who see (at most) 2-3 people a year with condition Y, with little follow-up? Congressmen?

\Currently working on a paper that agrees with some published studies, disagrees with others.

Well thanks to the internet it is possible for large groups of doctors to work together and come up with something resembling standards, such guidelines should probably take into account variations in the size, age and allergies of patients. it wouldent work in every case but would be a huge improvement than todays method which is pretty patchwork.

The image of the old west doctor going it alone is outdated and belongs in a museum like the bottle of whisky bonesaw from his medicine bag.

//Good luck with your paper.

AlgaeRancher: //just assuming doctor knows best in all situations is nuts, why do we do it?

Doctors demand it. They really hate the idea of anyone looking up their symptoms online (which everyone does) because people are sometimes crazy hypochondriacs. The internet has made this problem worse because doctors are responding to the backlash of information now available to their patients, but the notion that you-must-exactly-obey-your-doctor-and-don't-you-dare-even-think-about- doing-anything-differently is completely doctor driven and always has been.

One of these days I'm going to start selling m&m's and telling people "it makes you feel good"

And it's not a lie, is it?

Burzynski is the quack and slimeball who exploits desperate parents clutching at any straw that could save their kids dying from inoperable forms of cancer. He enrolls them in a "trial" which has run for decades costs an absolute fortune and has shown absolutely no positive results in all that time.

He has been the subject of a prolonged beatdown in the blogsphere since one of his idiot followers threatened a blog with legal action and managed to escalate things to Streisand proportions. Subsequent hamfisted PR has only fan the flames even longer.

IMO he deserves every legal and medical sanction that comes his way.

I have a relative with some very unorthodox ideas and practices about health (no specifics, in case she stumbles into this, but trust me, they're "Area 51"-level batshiat crazy), who was recently diagnosed with a serious cancer.
A rational person, at this point, would say to themselves, "huh...maybe this isn't working.." Instead, she's doubling-down on the crazy, and rather than opting for treatment based on known mechanisms of action, properly-designed randomized clinical studies, and clearly-defined survival rates, she is dead-set on going to see the good doctor.

Is there anything anyone would like her to ask Steve Jobs when she sees him?