Menstruating women attract bears so it makes sense.

TsarTom: Pedobear, Purity Bear and Snuggle walk into a bar

Bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"

Oh, so they only want you pure for 1 day. Day of Purity. Phew.

nicoffeine: TsarTom: Pedobear, Purity Bear and Snuggle walk into a bar

Bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"

Is it a gay bar? Because I heard that Snuggle was dating the Charmin cub.

I honestly expected the next scene to be that guy and Teddy Ruxpin getting busy.

Never say no to Panda. (new window)

Things might get weird if he's talking to a stuffed bear while he's plugging her for the first time on their wedding night. But hey? Maybe he should have laid out his kink cards out before getting married.

That was painful to watch. It actually made me feel embarrassed for how bad it was.

One day of purity, 364 days of unbridled hedonism and plumbing the dark depths of depravity...365 in a leap year. Sounds OK to me.

When the bear talks to me he usually says, "KILL HER AND WEAR HER TITS ON YOUR ASS."

Rhames: Oh, so they only want you pure for 1 day. Day of Purity. Phew.

I don't think I can hold out that long.

Anyone else notice the sign on the door that says 'please use front entrance'?

/Be funnier if it said please use rear entrance

I think I found a picture of that kid in a few years.

That made me want to throw up.

Those kids were totally doin it. I bet they were doin it.

So the moral of the story is to get married while you are still in high school?

I can handle a day of purity. I usually call that day "recover from massive hangover day".

/WOMAN! Bring me MAH BUCKET!!!....to vomit in.

It's not always best to listing what bears tell you to do.

Seems a little presumptuous, all she did was invite him in. Granted she mentioned her parents weren't home, but really.

"Hey Is that Abstinence Bear"

NOPE, CHUCK TESTA!

Red Sovine approves.

I know she's cuddly. Look at me, I'm cuddly!

Teddy, you are getting really farkin' needy. I stopped humping you when I discovered porn at 14. It's time for you to move on.

I don't know why he didn't go inside.

She looked like the type that might let him stick it in her pooper.

madgonad: She looked like the type that might let him stick it in her pooper.

We also know that BJ's and hotdogging are still Jesus-approved.

I like how they depict the girl making the first move. "Look out Jimmy! All women are whores but with Jesus' love and the moral fortitude of your male-ness you can marry the whore right out of 'em!"

I wish I knew how to crash a website. Just to annoy them as much as they annoy me..sigh

abstinence only is really not seeing reality

Teenagers are going to fark. The boys want to, the girls want to, yes there are a small % that don't. But biologically we are designed to want to fark at 16,17,18. Earlier for some.

religion says sex after marriage. Sooo, if she's horrible in bed, your stuck with her and your to live out your years in misery? Perhaps even encourage the guy to cheat and commit a worse sin?

Religion, it never makes sense

You know, I'm not opposed to encouraging kids to wait on sex a bit.

But what really chafes my balls is when they use "purity" to describe the wait. That taints sex as something bad, brings back the stupid idea of virgins somehow being better (or at least more "pure") than other people, and in general throws a giant overlay of moral superiority on what should just be an educated life choice.

And, of course, it's stupid and counterproductive. Somehow religious nuts are the only people who haven't figured out that teenagers go out of their way to do things that are "wrong," just to piss off their parents and everyone else.

seriously that could have been a farking hungry grizzly bear trying to protect its cubs inside that house and I would still have tapped that

Treygreen13: This bear teaches this young man an important lesson, one that we all should follow.

If he's going to truly be with her in a christian relationship, he has to start ignoring her personal and sexual desires on a regular basis, eschewing her interests and desires in favor of the social morays of the people in his church based on the ancient scribblings of religious zealots regarding the fever dreams they had about a sky wizard and his zombie child.

Holy Shiat you knocked this one out of the park! You my friend are a genius

That bear can go fark itself.

Tim Tebow: Approves!

/Her, not so much

Gosh I wish they had videos like that when I was in HS. I could have avoided all that nasty body on body, touchy, feely stuff...

Then he went home and farked the shiat out of that bear.

That video is about as cheesy as it gets. But I do have a serious question. If abstinence only education is a bad idea, then what is a good idea? What should be done to get kids to not make hormone fueled decisions that will have an impact on the rest of their lives? Isn't there anything that has a decent chance of working?

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: That video is about as cheesy as it gets. But I do have a serious question. If abstinence only education is a bad idea, then what is a good idea? What should be done to get kids to not make hormone fueled decisions that will have an impact on the rest of their lives? Isn't there anything that has a decent chance of working?

The truth?

"Look, I don't want you to, but you're going to anyways, so use a goddamn condom. If she gets pregnant, you're either stuck with her for 19 years*, or are going to have to give her 40% of your check for 19 years."

/* I'm including the gestation period

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: That video is about as cheesy as it gets. But I do have a serious question. If abstinence only education is a bad idea, then what is a good idea? What should be done to get kids to not make hormone fueled decisions that will have an impact on the rest of their lives? Isn't there anything that has a decent chance of working?

Watching COPS gave me a damn good idea about where my life would be headed if I went raw on the first girl I could get in high school.

"Jimmy thought that the pull-out method was a good idea. Jimmy now has more alimony than he will ever make in his entire life and ran out on it. Jimmy is now licking the concrete underneath the taint of three overweight policemen."

Jesus Sodomizing Christ. "You're worth the wait." Really!? No one who's dating in high school should be thinking of marriage. If you keep dating afterwards and it works, great, go ahead. But 16-year-olds thinking "Oh god I gotta fark something but I have to marry anything I fark OOHHH I'LL MARRY THAT SO I CAN fark IT!!!" is not a good plan. Instead, expect that they'll fark and make sure they know what they need to know so this decision doesn't affect the rest of their lives instead of pretending teenagers aren't going to fark! Fark!

/bitter cuz I bought into their bullshiat for too long

I_Hate_Iowa: Jesus Sodomizing Christ. "You're worth the wait." Really!? No one who's dating in high school should be thinking of marriage. If you keep dating afterwards and it works, great, go ahead. But 16-year-olds thinking "Oh god I gotta fark something but I have to marry anything I fark OOHHH I'LL MARRY THAT SO I CAN fark IT!!!" is not a good plan. Instead, expect that they'll fark and make sure they know what they need to know so this decision doesn't affect the rest of their lives instead of pretending teenagers aren't going to fark! Fark!

/bitter cuz I bought into their bullshiat for too long

All together now!

♫ So now I'm prayin' for the end of time
to hurry up and arrive... ♫