FARK.com: (6890866) Not news: weird old guy dies alone on a park bench. Fark: someone actually gives a shiat

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		Not news: weird old guy dies alone on a park bench. Fark: someone actually gives a shiat (startribune.com)		54
		More: Ironic, park benches

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8477 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2012 at 2:07 AM | Favorite | share:

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54 Comments (+0 »)

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Karmacidal

2012-01-20 12:55:08 AM

If I died on a park bench in Thompson Pass, staring at the mountains like I've spent so many hours doing, I wouldn't complain.
Nice story, thanks Subby.

elffster

2012-01-20 02:08:55 AM

*steals wallet, runs*

brimed03

2012-01-20 02:16:01 AM

Sad... and nice... but why ironic tag subby?

sbutler

2012-01-20 02:16:02 AM

You shouldn't have done that, Toby.

gumpy

2012-01-20 02:19:02 AM

ironic how?

fearmongert

2012-01-20 02:21:09 AM

TFA: Scherer continued to publish letters and essays in academic journals on foreign policy and terrorism. He loved words and puns, and he had a wry sense of humor. If he told a joke in a room of 20 people, three of them might get it, Sande said.

What was his FARK handle?

bingo the psych-o

2012-01-20 02:21:22 AM

sbutler:

You shouldn't have done that, Toby.

encrypted-tbn0.google.com

Kunta! Kunta Kinte!

Mr. Potatoass

2012-01-20 02:23:05 AM

tag comes in; kicking admins, and subby, in the nuts, in a sensible world.

She comes in colors everywhere

2012-01-20 02:24:50 AM

sbutler: [i.imgur.com image 400x300]

You shouldn't have done that, Toby.

first thing I thought of

Sargun

2012-01-20 02:25:20 AM

sbutler: [i.imgur.com image 400x300]

You shouldn't have done that, Toby.

Came for this, leaving satisfied

Harry_Seldon

2012-01-20 02:31:33 AM

I died on a park bench once, damn squirrels ate one of my eyeballs.

Cpl.D

2012-01-20 02:34:03 AM

Not too badly a way to go. I can think of far worse scenes to be your last.

... like a close up view of the gears in a combine, or the teeth of a woodchipper at full tilt.

HoFChaos

2012-01-20 02:36:21 AM

Came for The West Wing reference: leaving satisfied.

Valarius

2012-01-20 02:40:34 AM

Cpl.D: Not too badly a way to go. I can think of far worse scenes to be your last.

... like a close up view of the gears in a combine, or the teeth of a woodchipper at full tilt.

Or being on a battleship as it is hit by an enemy submarine. Or having a heart attack and falling into a frozen stream. Or getting into a car accident. All of which happened to people I knew.

Sleep well, Mr. Scherer. Thanks subby.

cc_rider

2012-01-20 02:41:55 AM

Ironic....because it's not what you'd expect from people?

Hmm...not sure I would have gone with that, but thanks for sharing a good story, subby. Every now and then, it's nice to have my faith in humanity restored.

Oznog

2012-01-20 02:42:52 AM

Cpl.D: Not too badly a way to go. I can think of far worse scenes to be your last.

... like a close up view of the gears in a combine, or the teeth of a woodchipper at full tilt.

Having your nuts bitten off by a Laplander, that's how I'd like to go.

Krieghund

2012-01-20 02:43:14 AM

fearmongert: TFA: Scherer continued to publish letters and essays in academic journals on foreign policy and terrorism. He loved words and puns, and he had a wry sense of humor. If he told a joke in a room of 20 people, three of them might get it, Sande said.

What was his FARK handle?

Farkers 1-17: "How you know he was a Farker?"

SN1987a goes boom

2012-01-20 02:44:37 AM

I close my eyes

Only for a moment and the moment's gone...

Tickle Mittens

2012-01-20 02:46:38 AM

Doktor_Zhivago

2012-01-20 02:54:34 AM

Came for Aqualung. Leaving dissapoint

buckler

2012-01-20 02:59:25 AM

Some years ago, I went to the local grocery store, and passed a guy on a bench who looked pretty sleepy. When I left, the paramedics were there, and he was covered with a sheet. I always felt vaguely ashamed that I didn't do anything that might have helped him.

video man

2012-01-20 03:01:33 AM

IT'S LIKE RAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNN...

itwasabright

2012-01-20 03:13:38 AM

video man: IT'S LIKE RAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNN...

If the rain comes they run and hide their heads. They might as well be dead. If the rain comes, if the rain comes. When the sun shines, they slip into the shade...sdaeh rieht edih dna nur yeht semoc niar eht fI. (Rain) niaR. (Rain) enihsnuS.

TKM

2012-01-20 03:17:19 AM

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2009/nov/01/man-bench/

Lligeret

2012-01-20 03:17:56 AM

"He was one of the few people I know who genuinely started with facts and worked toward conclusions." If only everyone worked that way.

starsrift

2012-01-20 03:26:13 AM

It's always the lurkers.

Hugemeister

2012-01-20 03:31:48 AM

RIP John...

"The man's last view would have been of Lake Nokomis, framed by trees. Farther off on the horizon, the tops of downtown Minneapolis skyscrapers square off against the sky."

Hugemeister

2012-01-20 03:35:05 AM

brimed03: Sad... and nice... but why ironic tag subby?

If you did RTA...it was mused that John would have thought it funny his funeral had been initially set on a day when the funeral home was closed for business...

Ceiling Moran

2012-01-20 04:19:14 AM

GungFu

2012-01-20 04:24:22 AM

Yeah, but did he build anything before he died?

andynz81

2012-01-20 04:40:37 AM

Death is just death. This story by and large was really quite a nice one.

DVOM

2012-01-20 04:43:56 AM

"Two days later Roger passed the bench, and it was empty. "It was like nothing had ever happened," he said."

"Nothing matters much and few things matter at all"

Ed Finnerty

2012-01-20 04:45:12 AM

FTFA: Death by natural causes occurs every day in Minneapolis

That does it. I'm moving.

Gawdzila

2012-01-20 04:55:38 AM

Nice story. I didn't know John, but I'm a little sad he's gone. I hope he enjoyed his last view of Earth.

phatface

2012-01-20 05:50:28 AM

I've walked those paths and seen that view, many, many, times.

RIP Mr. Sherer

hellolove

2012-01-20 05:57:23 AM

GungFu: Yeah, but did he build anything before he died?

Between this and the West Wing reference, I am leaving very satisfied.

/I'm a sucker for these kinds of stories...

Ow My Balls

2012-01-20 06:04:01 AM

If only he'd have kept working on the building demolition...

KrispyKritter

2012-01-20 06:14:02 AM

DVOM: "Two days later Roger passed the bench, and it was empty. "It was like nothing had ever happened," he said."

"Nothing matters much and few things matter at all"

the older i get the more i agree. when it comes down to brass tacks, very few things really matter a damn.

zekebullseye

2012-01-20 07:01:39 AM

I found a guy having a stroke on a park bench and called 911. Lots of people had just passed him by. When I first saw him he looked weird, like he was drunk or on something so I became a bit alarmed and almost walked by. I took an extra second to look at him and realized he was sick. He couldn't talk and couldn't move one side. I'm so glad I took that extra look. I don't know what happened to the guy.

My husband found a dead guy on a park bench in the same park. It' a good place to "cross the bridge." Beautiful.

GameSprocket

2012-01-20 07:06:53 AM

KrispyKritter: DVOM: "Two days later Roger passed the bench, and it was empty. "It was like nothing had ever happened," he said."

"Nothing matters much and few things matter at all"

the older i get the more i agree. when it comes down to brass tacks, very few things really matter a damn.

I was talking with my kid about space and how far it is between everything. It made me start thinking about the fact that there is nothing I can do that will ever matter on that scale. Unless we someday develop faster-than-light technology, even Einstein will have not made any difference in the Universe.

It was a lot like the "Total Perspective Vortex"™.

Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings

2012-01-20 07:30:33 AM

From the headline and the tag I guessed that someone had actually done a poo on the body and then ran away

UncleStumpy

2012-01-20 07:39:39 AM

Honestly this is silly, and I'm one of the most sentimental guys out there

"Two days later Roger passed the bench, and it was empty. "It was like nothing had ever happened," he said."

WTF are they people supposed to do? have him stuffed and strapped to the bench for eternity?

Apos

2012-01-20 07:39:53 AM

Persnickety

2012-01-20 08:15:14 AM

OldManDownDRoad

2012-01-20 08:30:33 AM

Back in Ye Olde Dayes of USENET I used to run into a guy who participated in alt.folklore.urban as a mythbuster of sorts. Funny guy. Hadn't seen or read anything from him in ages but that's not unusual. Couple days ago a mutual friend sent me the obit from the local paper - he'd been missed around his usual 'net haunts and the cops were called when no one answered knocking on his door. He was dead in bed, apparently dead for a week or so. Computer was running, though.

And late last year a web forum I participated in starting throwing database errors. The guy who ran it didn't answer his phone or email, so someone who was local went over. No answer to the door, so he called 9-1-1 and they broke down the door. Andy was dead on the floor, apparently of a stroke. Computer was up and running but an update had restarted the machine and lost the database.

Yeah, it does give you pause that the only way we knew these guys were dead were error messages out in the ether. Sic transit gloria mundi, and all that.

Cybernetic

2012-01-20 09:21:38 AM

"He was one of the few people I know who genuinely started with facts and worked toward conclusions, but was never critical or petty and never spiteful."

That's not a bad way to be remembered.

Hermione_Granger

2012-01-20 10:39:36 AM

buckler 2012-01-20 02:59:25 AM

Some years ago, I went to the local grocery store, and passed a guy on a bench who looked pretty sleepy. When I left, the paramedics were there, and he was covered with a sheet. I always felt vaguely ashamed that I didn't do anything that might have helped him.

Awwww man. As someone who's taken a nap or two on a park bench, how could you have known? Let your conscience rest easy.

satorivt

2012-01-20 10:56:54 AM

GungFu: [stephenesherman.com image 400x325]

Yeah, but did he build anything before he died?

Well he wasn't a paper pusher his whole life either, so he didn't have to.

That's one of my favorite Kurosawa films.

KierzanDax

2012-01-20 10:58:00 AM

buckler: Some years ago, I went to the local grocery store, and passed a guy on a bench who looked pretty sleepy. When I left, the paramedics were there, and he was covered with a sheet. I always felt vaguely ashamed that I didn't do anything that might have helped him.

During the winter, I walk through the subway concourse instead of topside. There are always homeless people hunkered down doing their best to escape the cold and catch a few winks before be rustled back out into the cold night. And I always have that same feeling of "is that person sleeping or are they dead?"

Crotchrocket Slim

2012-01-20 11:27:35 AM

Karmacidal: If I died on a park bench in Thompson Pass, staring at the mountains like I've spent so many hours doing, I wouldn't complain.
Nice story, thanks Subby.

This, though I hope when I get this age I have the wherewithal to keep ID on me constantly just in case of something like this.
/so I'm dealing with end of life stuff with my father and thinking about this sort of thing a lot lately

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