I had this hot little slut show up at my door and make her pitch. Trip to Italy, want to win, "do you read a lot" etc. I remember slipping her little ad list back in her brassier and saying something along the lines of "I only read books".

I'm a farking book dealer. If something interests me I'll have a relevant book come in front of me at some point. The only magazines I read these days are the ancient Popular Mechanics or PopSci on google books. Mostly because it's amazing what was once thought innovative and new. And the scams that are still in circulation.

/In before the oh so witty person posting a picture from Office Spa.....

Done some door -to-door sales, can be pretty fun and well paying if you've got it. One guy in my team was weird, had bandages on his fingers all the time. It was physical stuff so you'd cut yourself sometimes, but not like that. Turns out he was knocking on doors like he should, but then, if no one answered, he'd go in unlocked doors and pocket small, expensive stuff (cash, jewellery) he saw lying around. Guess the bandages were to cover fingerprints, though I really doubt cops dust for prints on a "we think there might be something missing, and we left the door unlocked" investigation.

"Wanna suck on this and smoke some rock or buy Vibe?"

"I'll take the magazine please."

It'd work on me.

Krootons: "Wanna suck on this and smoke some rock or buy Vibe?"

"I'll take the magazine please."

It'd work on me.

It's a pretty damn foolproof selling technique, except for the getting arrested part.

clearly another Bain company

Done in one.

redhook: [thumbnails.hulu.com image 512x288]

Came here for this; satisfied.

"Oh, so you want to barge in my house and try to make me buy some stupid ghetto magazine and threaten me with rape? O.K., hold on, let me just get my......HANDGUN motherfarker!!!!!!"

What am I going to do with forty subscriptions to Vibe?

So one fine spring afternoon back in the day in Columbus (Grandview, specifically) my housemate and I were sitting around getting stoned and watching TV. Shocking, I know. Anyway, it was nice out and we just had the screen door closed, but with the middle section of screen missing... cause that is just how we rolled. So this black kid comes up on the porch and casually steps right through the big hole in the door and smiles. He is selling some kind of spray cleaner stuff and wants to demonstrate... because we look like the dudes who are into spray cleaning apparently. Anyway... he cleaned the glass part of the door, and then the TV, and the table, and the counter, even the window in the oven. He just really wanted to prove that the cleaner worked. Mind you, neither me or my housemate had really said a word at this point and were just mesmerized watching this stranger clean our house. Even after he left we were pretty sure it was all just some kind of hallucination... until someone came over in the evening and commented how clean parts of the house were.

According to Fark, it's a clip, moron.

the dude looks like the lead singer of the red hot chilli peppers.

Meh.

/Used the same tactic selling Grit, when I was a kid.

I wouldn't touch this story with a 45 foot pole.

/I'm more interested in the crime report: Man Indicted For Alleged 45-Foot-Pole Theft.

wildcardjack: I had this hot little slut show up at my door and make her pitch. Trip to Italy, want to win, "do you read a lot" etc. I remember slipping her little ad list back in her brassier and saying something along the lines of "I only read books".

I'm a farking book dealer. If something interests me I'll have a relevant book come in front of me at some point. The only magazines I read these days are the ancient Popular Mechanics or PopSci on google books. Mostly because it's amazing what was once thought innovative and new. And the scams that are still in circulation.

I think you would like the Science Digest. Especially the older ones that still had the little factoids spread throughout the pages. Being the geek that I am, I remember going through the entire past periodicals that the library had of them going back to "who knows when it was" (Late 50' maybe?) when I was in HS.

/little factoids like if a certain bacterium was allowed to reproduce unlimited that it would cover the Earth in a layer 1 cm thick in 12 days or some such
//ya geek

The perp has meth mouth.

wildcardjack: I had this hot little slut show up at my door and make her pitch. Trip to Italy, want to win, "do you read a lot" etc. I remember slipping her little ad list back in her brassier and saying something along the lines of "I only read books".

I'm a farking book dealer. If something interests me I'll have a relevant book come in front of me at some point. The only magazines I read these days are the ancient Popular Mechanics or PopSci on google books. Mostly because it's amazing what was once thought innovative and new. And the scams that are still in circulation.

I so read that as "I'm farking a book dealer."

Gyrfalcon: Lars The Canadian Viking: Done some door -to-door sales, can be pretty fun and well paying if you've got it. One guy in my team was weird, had bandages on his fingers all the time. It was physical stuff so you'd cut yourself sometimes, but not like that. Turns out he was knocking on doors like he should, but then, if no one answered, he'd go in unlocked doors and pocket small, expensive stuff (cash, jewellery) he saw lying around. Guess the bandages were to cover fingerprints, though I really doubt cops dust for prints on a "we think there might be something missing, and we left the door unlocked" investigation.

Here's a tip I got from a real crime scene investigator: Cops don't dust for prints anyway.

I got burglarized by some neighborhood kids (13-15) back in 2004. Anyways, the little turds apparently had plenty of time, as they had sprawled out some playboys I had on my bed. So the cop showed up. Dumbest cop in the world.
I asked "why don't you dust these playboys for prints?"
And he said "That's impossible."
I replied "That was the evidence they used in the Michael Jackson trial."

And he just glared at me for a while. That's when I realized most cops were worthless pieces of garbage.

Door to door salesmen need to be made illegal. I had a guy try to fight me because I didn't want him to seal my driveway. He stood down when he saw my concealed carry permit... And weapon.

karmaceutical: So one fine spring afternoon back in the day in Columbus (Grandview, specifically) my housemate and I were sitting around getting stoned and watching TV. Shocking, I know. Anyway, it was nice out and we just had the screen door closed, but with the middle section of screen missing... cause that is just how we rolled. So this black kid comes up on the porch and casually steps right through the big hole in the door and smiles. He is selling some kind of spray cleaner stuff and wants to demonstrate... because we look like the dudes who are into spray cleaning apparently. Anyway... he cleaned the glass part of the door, and then the TV, and the table, and the counter, even the window in the oven. He just really wanted to prove that the cleaner worked. Mind you, neither me or my housemate had really said a word at this point and were just mesmerized watching this stranger clean our house. Even after he left we were pretty sure it was all just some kind of hallucination... until someone came over in the evening and commented how clean parts of the house were.

same thing happened when here when i was a tender pale young schoolboy. a brother cleaned a spot on our carpet in the middle of the rug. which then stood out like a sore thumb.

i explained my parents would be home later. sure enough, the fellow came back to give them the pitch. arseholes they were, they refused to buy his excellent cleaning product, and that lighter brighter spot in the carpet was there for many years to come. Idiots.

complaints from citizens about overly-aggressive salesmen

Sounds like those damn Southwestern book salesmen that swarm every summer.

After thinking about this story, I can say that it was one of the worst pick up lines ever.

With that being said, a better pick up line is:

"Hey, you must work at Subway, cause you're giving me a 12 incher!"

calbert: [farm8.staticflickr.com image 640x349]

/done in one

So I've always suspected there's something more than magazine sales going on with these people, but can't figure out the motive.

Around here it's usually a girl knocking on the door and they frequently hit on me pretty aggressively. The first time it happened I just chalked it up to my 18+2 charisma, took her phone number and promised to call. But each subsequent time just makes me more convinced that there's something else going on and once I let them inside all my base would belong to them.

So help me out here. What's the scam?

I do everything Alton Brown tells me to do: So I've always suspected there's something more than magazine sales going on with these people, but can't figure out the motive.

Around here it's usually a girl knocking on the door and they frequently hit on me pretty aggressively. The first time it happened I just chalked it up to my 18+2 charisma, took her phone number and promised to call. But each subsequent time just makes me more convinced that there's something else going on and once I let them inside all my base would belong to them.

So help me out here. What's the scam?

It's not necessarily a scam. I have been in outside sales for a long time. unfortunately yes there are some shiaty people who take advantage of others.

/Kirby distributor
//Yes I employ pretty ladies to set appointments.
///You're damn straight they will flirt with you to get an appointment.

I do everything Alton Brown tells me to do: So I've always suspected there's something more than magazine sales going on with these people, but can't figure out the motive.

Around here it's usually a girl knocking on the door and they frequently hit on me pretty aggressively. The first time it happened I just chalked it up to my 18+2 charisma, took her phone number and promised to call. But each subsequent time just makes me more convinced that there's something else going on and once I let them inside all my base would belong to them.

So help me out here. What's the scam?

It's rigged. They are middlemen with no brand reputation to bother upholding. The young salespeople are recruited with high promises, but end up getting paid peanuts. The ones who stick with the job are losers and junkies. If you actually paid for some magazines, you'd be lucky to actually receive them.

Door to door sales in general isn't a legit activity anyway, like telemarketing, relying on high-pressure tactics and often delving into outright scams.

Google "magazine sales scam" or "magazine sales crew"

I can only pray that the Girl Scout sales are this pushy this year.

/will have a seat over there