God works for Bank of America?

New Year's resolutions are tough to keep.

And thank you for reminding me I need to go a Nother(n) Tool store this afternoon.

Why sad/ She's in paradise now. It couldn't be any better.

I'm 38, done every drug I've ever come across and farked everything in front of me, I curse out God and the idiots who'll do anything in his name on twitter, and I'm healthy as a middle-age horse.

Methinks we've been trolled a gain.

Diogenes: This is bad. The Rapture came and only one of us was good enough to move on.

If the rapture happened and 144,000 people world wide were sent up to heaven, would the world even notice?

doubled99: Why sad/ She's in paradise now. It couldn't be any better.

Keep telling yourself that to help you sleep at night.

She's in the cold dark earth. There's nothing after this life except becoming fertilizer.

You know, I was thinking the other day... What if you met some giant demonic Satan looking monster... but it was God. What if God and the devil were both large horned evil looking monsters that wagered on who could accumulate the most souls. God with fear or the devil with temptation.

It would certainly make a lot of the douchebag stuff God does in the bible more understandable...

/Kinda sounds like a Shyamalanmovie...

I don't think the atheist illuminati of Fark can resist being dicks about this.

Let's watch what happens....

Diogenes: This is bad. The Rapture came and only one of us was good enough to move on.




/Lol'd at headline
//Window seat please

Because People in power are Stupid: Walker:

THAT'S A MAN BABY!
Studman69 aka Walker... I was expecting you.

[mlkshk.com image 500x395]

I am unsure of anything in the picture of "her" that denotes femininity. Seriously.

She's trolling in heaven now.

Honest Bender: You know, I was thinking the other day... What if you met some giant demonic Satan looking monster... but it was God. What if God and the devil were both large horned evil looking monsters that wagered on who could accumulate the most souls. God with fear or the devil with temptation.

I would like to become a priest in your new church. Can I pilfer from the collection plate?

One less religious zealot.

Sad, but it had to be said.

Mr Perry? Take notes. YOU can do this!! Yes, you can!!

/wake up America, please.

Sad. Very sad.

God is an iron. -- L. Niven

Slaves2Darkness: Diogenes: This is bad. The Rapture came and only one of us was good enough to move on.

If the rapture happened and 144,000 people world wide were sent up to heaven, would the world even notice?

That's gross (x 1000).

JRoo: I'm 38, done every drug I've ever come across and farked everything in front of me, I curse out God and the idiots who'll do anything in his name on twitter, and I'm healthy as a middle-age horse.

You sound like me, only 8 years older. Assuming God's smite button isn't just set to some random variable function, looks like I got at least a few more gauranteed years ahead.

Whatever you do, DON'T ask to borrow god's Zippo.



"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who borrow and do not return my fire. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!"

// Life: 100% mortality rate

Walker: Actually she tweeted "Thank you God for a nother year of life"
Leave it to a religious school student to think "another" is two words.

images.smh.com.au

Did she also thank God a lot?

Unsung_Hero: Honest Bender: You know, I was thinking the other day... What if you met some giant demonic Satan looking monster... but it was God. What if God and the devil were both large horned evil looking monsters that wagered on who could accumulate the most souls. God with fear or the devil with temptation.

I would like to become a priest in your new church. Can I pilfer from the collection plate?

It's what God would want you to do.

Regardless of the comedic irony surrounding the events prior to her death which are statistically improbable, dying at 21 is tragic. I'm a staunch atheist, and I did laugh at the circumstances (as I would if some atheist got struck by lighting shortly after making a provocatively anti-theist statement), but not the actual reality that a young woman has died. Religious or not, this was a human being who died in the prime of her life for no discernible reason. We truly live in an indifferent universe that this kind of crap happens.

BurnShrike Smartest
Funniest
2012-01-19 01:08:39 PM


doubled99: Why sad/ She's in paradise now. It couldn't be any better.

Keep telling yourself that to help you sleep at night.

She's in the cold dark earth. There's nothing after this life except becoming fertilizer.



reset sarcasm meter please

can i got ahead and get my express train ticket to hell cause i laughed hard at this one. Sorry she died but still the circumstances are +1 internet worthy.

StrangeQ: JRoo: I'm 38, done every drug I've ever come across and farked everything in front of me, I curse out God and the idiots who'll do anything in his name on twitter, and I'm healthy as a middle-age horse.

You sound like me, only 8 years older. Assuming God's smite button isn't just set to some random variable function, looks like I got at least a few more gauranteed years ahead.

I think it's like Buddha said, it's all about moderation.

rocketpants: What does God need with a Twitter account?

I don't know, but she/he tweets teh funny.

Was she hot? This is important

More gods should really develop a sense of humour.

Slaves2Darkness:
If the rapture happened and 144,000 people world wide were sent up to heaven, would the world even notice?

That's what happened to all those "missing persons." It wasn't murder or misadventure--God just took them all to Heaven. He likes to keep a low profile .



In heaven.

rocketpants: What does God need with a Twitter account?

Because prayer doesn't work.

Kome: Regardless of the comedic irony surrounding the events prior to her death which are statistically improbable, dying at 21 is tragic. I'm a staunch atheist, and I did laugh at the circumstances (as I would if some atheist got struck by lighting shortly after making a provocatively anti-theist statement), but not the actual reality that a young woman has died. Religious or not, this was a human being who died in the prime of her life for no discernible reason. We truly live in an indifferent universe that this kind of crap happens.

90% of religions appeal right there.