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(ABC) Unlikely Iran claims that after the murder of their scientist, 1,000 students switched their majors to nuclear science. Of course since most used to be "comparative medieval poetry" majors, this isn't expected to help much   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 55
More: Unlikely, Iran, Iranians, atomic nuclei, Natanz, nuclear powers, uranium enrichment, Islamic Republic News Agency  
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2895 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2012 at 1:13 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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The Stealth Hippopotamus [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 09:07:42 AM
The kids just heard there was a job opening.
 
Magorn [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 09:18:39 AM
The Stealth Hippopotamus: The kids just heard there was a job opening.

That's a MUCH better headline than mine, you should submit it.
 
2wolves [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 09:36:01 AM
Originally read as "competitive medieval poetry."
 
sno man [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:36:36 AM
In best Iran you don't switch majors, Majors switch you.
 
The Stealth Hippopotamus [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:41:28 AM
Magorn: That's a MUCH better headline than mine, you should submit it.

Go for it. I dont want to spend the time to find a good link
 
Snarfangel
2012-01-19 12:49:46 PM
On second thought, I don't want the President to encourage people to take math and science.
 
spentmiles
2012-01-19 01:14:04 PM
Bomb their universities, problem solved.
 
wildcardjack
2012-01-19 01:18:22 PM
spentmiles: Bomb their universities, problem solved.

That was also recommended as a way to end the Occupy protests.
 
phaseolus
2012-01-19 01:20:14 PM
"comparative medieval poetry" majors

In Iran this could be an awesome thing to major in, provided the mullahs don't get all medieval in the worst sense of the word and ruin it.
 
georgeyporgey
2012-01-19 01:21:11 PM
Occupy Wall Street students ?
 
dittybopper
2012-01-19 01:22:11 PM
But do they love their classes?
 
BarbadoSlim
2012-01-19 01:22:23 PM
Add 1,000 targets to "FIND HIM AND KILL HIM" list.

And now, to important matters...
 
MorePeasPlease
2012-01-19 01:25:34 PM
dittybopper: But do they love their classes?

I tip my shades to you.
 
fappomatic
2012-01-19 01:29:28 PM
I hear the remedial entry level mathematics program is being based on Minister Louis Farrakhan's "Million Man Math Made Easy" scrolls.
 
Harry Freakstorm [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 01:30:12 PM
Hello and welcome to Iranian Nuclear Physics 101. If you are looking for the Advanced Jihadist class, it is down the hall.

Let's get right in to the subject, shall we? Lesson One: Do not get in to any automobile. Lesson Two: If someone asks you what you do, you are a rug manufacturer.

Let's review: Ahmed, would you like to go for a ride in my automobile? It is a brand new car with many amenities and especially cooled air.

Ahmed: Oh, sounds nice. Sure.

Wrong. Back of the class. Review your notes.

Mister Ali. I am a very attractive young lady and I decide to talk to you at a local refreshment center. I say "You look like a handsome nuclear fission expert." Your reply is?

Ali: I am not a nuclear fission expert. I am a maker of rugs. Do you still consider me handsome?

No. I, as an attractive young lady, only finds the handsomeness if the person knows how to split an atom or create sustained chain reactions.

Ali: Then I say to her. I may be a maker of rugs but I know these things as well.

Sorry. Wrong answer. Join Mister Ahmed in the back of the class.

This is basic Iranian Nuclear knowledge people. Do not get in cars. Do not acknowledge that you are a nuclear professional. You will live much much longer this way.

Class is dismissed. You with the vest. Weren't you supposed to be in the advanced Jihadist class? Get your hand off the detonator and report to the class down the hall.
 
foo monkey
2012-01-19 01:32:17 PM
Iranian Nuclear Science 101: Clone Stamp Tool
 
netcentric
2012-01-19 01:34:58 PM
img27.imageshack.us

No, not a poem..... a bomb.
 
Whatthefark
2012-01-19 01:35:48 PM
As long as they aren't writing Vogon poetry? It's the third worst poetry in the Universe.

Ahmadinejad could step the the podium mic and unleash that on the world. We'd be defenseless (unless you grabbed a towel beforehand).
 
DontMakeMeComeBackThere
2012-01-19 01:42:20 PM
Guess Israel is going to have to buy more bicycles.
 
LeroyBourne
2012-01-19 01:44:24 PM
I like to think of myself as an above intelligent person, but I found organic chem flipping hard in college and worked my arse off. I would never go into nuclear physics, but hey I know my boundaries.
 
Pribar [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 01:45:29 PM
Ya know that would suck, you spend all night reviewing your notes on iambic pentameter in early Persian poetry and come in the next morning to find your test was nothing but analyzing Cherenkov radiation and Klien bottle theory.

/hey if Star Trek can pull sciency terms out of their ass so can I
 
rudemix
2012-01-19 01:45:39 PM
They will not stop them if they truly are that focused on having them. I fear Iran with a bomb just a tiny bit more than I fear living in a world where the US/Israel think they can set policy on what any other country can do.
 
netcentric
2012-01-19 01:49:39 PM
We're going to need more motorcycles....
 
signaljammer
2012-01-19 01:50:44 PM
Persian scholarship is nothing to sneeze at. This was the crap that people were saying of the Russians fifty years ago. Guess no one in the USA had read a Russian novel.
 
MindStalker
2012-01-19 01:50:52 PM
From what I understand, the smart people in Iran who can actually do the work, aren't enthralled at helping, and may be sabotaging their own work. Who's to say making more smart people in Iran, would be a bad thing.
If it was possible to teach an idiot how to build an one we would be in a much more difficult situation.
 
Leeds
2012-01-19 01:52:18 PM
So the game warden has restocked the proverbial pond?

Time to go fission again!
 
BarbadoSlim
2012-01-19 01:54:31 PM
signaljammer: Persian scholarship is nothing to sneeze at. This was the crap that people were saying of the Russians fifty years ago. Guess no one in the USA had read a Russian novel.

See: Russian Space program
 
dervish16108
2012-01-19 01:55:38 PM
In Iran, it's not as easy to switch majors as it is in the USA. Their college entrance exam serves to determine which majors a prospective student is eligible for.
 
netcentric
2012-01-19 01:59:28 PM
dervish16108: In Iran, it's not as easy to switch majors as it is in the USA. Their college entrance exam serves to determine which majors a prospective student is eligible for.

Makes you wonder how many actually get picked on entrance exams for the "Make Nuclear Bombs" major.....
 
OscarTamerz
2012-01-19 02:00:55 PM
"So how long is it going to take to glue NIB magnets and 20 second timers to 1300 of theses babies?"

i476.photobucket.com

"You'll have them ready by this afternoon, perfect."
 
Tharsis
2012-01-19 02:07:34 PM
Gee, I wonder if Israel has 1300 bombs...
 
snocone [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 02:07:56 PM
Learning curve being what it is,,, Those students should be a threat in, what, 25-30 years?
/plan cunningly
 
Evil Mackerel
2012-01-19 02:16:39 PM
The first student to reach critical mass with a table top experiment wipes out the class.
/ah, the joys of hard radiation.
 
Loud_Mouth_Soup
2012-01-19 02:21:58 PM
"Do you like school?"

"Yes".

"Do you like nuclear science?"

"No."

"You do now."


download.agefotostock.com
 
Strobeguy
2012-01-19 02:30:10 PM
So you like poetry?, pretty yes? Now you like atom, smash it!
 
MBooda
2012-01-19 02:32:23 PM
Hey, subby, whatchoo dissin' Iranian comparative medieval poetry fo'?
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
Louisiana_Sitar_Club
2012-01-19 02:33:21 PM
So, Iranian nuclear scientists are kinda like hydras?
 
Spindle
2012-01-19 02:42:54 PM
They'd be fools not to switch with all of the new openings in the market recently. That field is blowing up!
 
Tiiba
2012-01-19 03:12:21 PM
Is it really so miserable to live in Iran that people jump at the chance to get blown up?
 
Satanic_Hamster
2012-01-19 03:14:53 PM
Some how I doubt they can employ that many extra/new students.
 
Vorpal
2012-01-19 03:26:46 PM
Wait until their first lab with the TA nobody can understand
 
kbronsito [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 03:50:46 PM
Satanic_Hamster: Some how I doubt they can employ that many extra/new students.

they are not all going to make it. i'd be willing to bet some of them are decoys.
 
Satanic_Hamster
2012-01-19 04:16:26 PM
kbronsito: Satanic_Hamster: Some how I doubt they can employ that many extra/new students.

they are not all going to make it. i'd be willing to bet some of them are decoys.

Heh. Seriously though, I really don't understand why they make claims like that. They're just not that credible. Nuclear science is typically a TIGHT field. Small classes, not a lot of professors, and with tough requirements to join (ie, you can't just be any dumbass).

Even if they had that many students wanting to switch, even if they had that many QUALIFIED students wanting to switch, there's no way those departments could handle an increase in class size that quickly.

Why can't these people make more credible lies?
 
Bondith
2012-01-19 04:36:27 PM
Satanic_Hamster
Why can't these people make more credible lies?
They're doing it for the lulz?

If international politics were a forum thread, Iran and North Korea would have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
Satanic_Hamster
2012-01-19 04:45:53 PM
Bondith: Satanic_Hamster
Why can't these people make more credible lies?
They're doing it for the lulz?

If international politics were a forum thread, Iran and North Korea would have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

That would be the simple explanation. Honestly, I think they just don't understand us at all. They don't understand how we think and what type of propaganda actually works with us. Sure, this type of bullshiat claim might work internally, but externally it just looks retarded.
 
snocone [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 05:57:48 PM
Who writes this stuff for Iran?

I mean, Vince McMahon is creative, but this stuff is nutz.
 
mikefinch
2012-01-19 06:56:46 PM
Satanic_Hamster: Bondith: Satanic_Hamster
Why can't these people make more credible lies?
They're doing it for the lulz?

If international politics were a forum thread, Iran and North Korea would have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

That would be the simple explanation. Honestly, I think they just don't understand us at all. They don't understand how we think and what type of propaganda actually works with us. Sure, this type of bullshiat claim might work internally, but externally it just looks retarded.

See... i just see it as a culture of hyperbole. They talk about trampling the west, and their 1000 new students in nuclear science.. But its all hyperbole. I dont think they believe this crap either. They may agree with the base argument but its like the Iran high command assumes everything it declares is going to be taken with a grain of salt by the west. So they take it to the next level so it still sounds serious...

I dont think anyone buys that propaganda any more than they belive the american army is an army of one -- or that uncle sam wants them. Bullshiat is bullshiat.

I have know idea why so many people take conflict with Iran so lightly. They aren't anything to be feared or but an altercation with iran would be expensive, bloody, and politically untenable for the west.
 
Bondith
2012-01-19 07:04:33 PM
michaelkristopeit
nuclear physics is much more simplistic than organic chemistry...

No isomers, mesomers, enantiomers, anomers or conformers, for one thing.

I'm also pretty sure it doesn't involve any 29-step-4%-yield syntheses either.
 
SN1987a goes boom
2012-01-19 10:48:32 PM
Bondith: michaelkristopeit
nuclear physics is much more simplistic than organic chemistry...

No isomers, mesomers, enantiomers, anomers or conformers, for one thing.

I'm also pretty sure it doesn't involve any 29-step-4%-yield syntheses either.

I take it you've never done anything with Gamow levels or radiation damage modeling...
 
HBK
2012-01-20 12:03:59 AM
Are these real students or photoshop students?
 
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