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Iowa GOP: Santorum won Iowa and we're going declare it a tie. BTW, we accidentally lost eight precincts worth of ballots so vote Republican
(
talkingpointsmemo.com
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what_now
2012-01-19 08:45:50 AM
I hate it when there's an unexpected Santorum surge a few weeks later.
SilentStrider
2012-01-19 08:45:58 AM
Well I feel better about the democratic procss.
Foreground My Ass
2012-01-19 08:46:06 AM
LeoffDaGrate
2012-01-19 08:46:19 AM
Maff is hard.
DaddyRat
2012-01-19 08:46:58 AM
Dear GOP (Iowa and otherwise) -
You're not helping.
/You stupid farks.
CPennypacker
2012-01-19 08:50:04 AM
Republicans are bad at math
This is not news.
Philip Francis Queeg
2012-01-19 08:51:03 AM
CPennypacker
:
Republicans are bad
at math
This is not news.
FTFY
deeproy
2012-01-19 08:53:32 AM
RON PAUL!
PanicMan
2012-01-19 08:55:39 AM
SilentStrider
:
Well I feel better about the democratic procss.
Good news! There's nothing remotely democratic about primaries.
Alphax
2012-01-19 08:56:46 AM
Since there's one one person in the primary that deserves to win, eh.
IgG4
2012-01-19 08:56:47 AM
Republicans seem to be their own worst enemy, so they are going on the list:
List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):
Liberals
Democrats
Socialists
Community Organizers
Geologists
Biologists
Meteorologists
Climatologists
Atheists
Muslims
Jews
Satan
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable news except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions
Colleges
Teachers
Professors
ACORN
National Endowment for the Arts
Gays
Judges
NPR
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires
The Honolulu Advertiser
The Star Bulletin
Teletubbies
Sponge Bob and Patrick
Nobel Prize Committee
US Census Bureau
NOAA
Sesame Street
Comic Books
Little Green Footballs
Video Games
The Bible
CBO
Bruce Springsteen
Pennies
The Theory of Relativity
Comedy Central
Young People
whatever the hell a Justin Beiber is
Small Business Owners
Math
CPAC
Navy SEALs
The Economist
Reality
Snopes
Republicans
Lost Thought 00
2012-01-19 08:57:12 AM
Considering that the whole affair is non-binding and actual delegate allocation doesn't happen for a few months, I'd say it doesn't rightly matter who won
Alphax
2012-01-19 08:57:21 AM
Er, NOT one person.
markfara
2012-01-19 08:57:21 AM
Anyone who thinks the first count was a mistake is certainly free to think that.
imontheinternet
2012-01-19 08:57:39 AM
Ron Paul supporters: Something was off with the returns in Iowa. There was a strange, unexplained delay at one point, then...
Fark liberals: STFU! You're all crazy idiots. Don't question the process. Nothing ever goes wrong.
/vindicated
JAYoung
2012-01-19 09:01:12 AM
And thank you national news media for universally ignoring the facts and awarding a win to Romney when in fact he lost. That fail was worth millions to Romney.
It's right up there with "Bush Elected" and "Coal Miners Rescued."
EyeballKid
2012-01-19 09:01:22 AM
Iowa got Jeb'd!
keylock71
2012-01-19 09:02:48 AM
...and the GOP will still be stuck with the Republican John Kerry this time around.
thismomentinblackhistory
2012-01-19 09:03:04 AM
imontheinternet
:
Ron Paul supporters: Something was off with the returns in Iowa. There was a strange, unexplained delay at one point, then...
Fark liberals: STFU! You're all crazy idiots. Don't question the process. Nothing ever goes wrong.
/vindicated
He still didn't win. He's from the party that has their panty's in a bunch about voting fraud and ensuring accurate elections, right?
what_now
2012-01-19 09:03:15 AM
imontheinternet
:
Ron Paul supporters: Something was off with the returns in Iowa. There was a strange, unexplained delay at one point, then...
Fark liberals: STFU! You're all crazy idiots. Don't question the process. Nothing ever goes wrong.
/vindicated
Um. Fark liberals were watching the returns with laughter and popcorn, because the GOP is tearing apart the only person who had even an outside shot of winning the election.
But go ahead. Nominate RON PAUL. That will be fun.
This text is now purple
2012-01-19 09:03:40 AM
SilentStrider
:
Well I feel better about the democratic procss.
Party primaries aren't part of the democratic process. They're even less binding than Electoral College votes, which themselves typically aren't binding at all.
HotWingConspiracy
2012-01-19 09:04:25 AM
imontheinternet
:
Ron Paul supporters: Something was off with the returns in Iowa. There was a strange, unexplained delay at one point, then...
Fark liberals: STFU! You're all crazy idiots. Don't question the process. Nothing ever goes wrong.
/vindicated
Liberals would have loved to see Paul win, you're not making any sense. You understand that it was a republican primary, right?
heinrich66
2012-01-19 09:05:44 AM
Ron Paul?
what_now
2012-01-19 09:06:01 AM
This text is now purple
:
When even Philly's city council is curious why the Justice Department refused to investigate, there's something rotten in Denmark.
Maybe because there wasn't a single complaint from any VOTERS. And when the cops asked the guy to leave...he left.
But still. Keep trying to make this happen. It doesn't make the GOP seem racist AT ALL when they equate "being black" with "election tampering".
eraser8
2012-01-19 09:07:47 AM
This text is now purple
:
They're even less binding than Electoral College votes, which themselves typically aren't binding at all.
Interestingly, most states have laws that bind electors to the candidates they've pledged to support.
Of course, it isn't entirely clear whether such laws are actually enforceable. And, I'm unaware of any case in which a prosecution has been attempted against a faithless elector.
Jake Havechek
2012-01-19 09:08:51 AM
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Not like it matters, Romney will be the nominee.
heavymetal
2012-01-19 09:09:51 AM
Surprise surprise, the Republicans run the Iowa caucuses as effectively as they govern.
cc_rider
2012-01-19 09:11:13 AM
Okay, I'll be the first:
I
diots
O
ut
W
andering
A
round.
But seriously, how in the frothy fark do you "lose" 8 precincts worth of votes?
Grand_Moff_Joseph
2012-01-19 09:12:01 AM
Did they hire the election official from Wisconsin to run the vote tabulation database?
enry
2012-01-19 09:12:32 AM
cc_rider
:
Okay, I'll be the first: Idiots Out Wandering Around.
But seriously, how in the frothy fark do you "lose" 8 precincts worth of votes?
Election
Voter fraud!
Tigger
2012-01-19 09:13:08 AM
imontheinternet
Not only did that just not happen, can you even explain why it would happen?
The liberals want the worst of your closed head injury victim candidates to win partly for the lulz and partly because they want the republican party to get thoroughly crushed in the election.
Unless you actually think that liberals don't want Paul to win because they are afraid he would win the General Election. If that is the case I'm afraid you're beyond help.
Mr. Coffee Nerves
2012-01-19 09:15:13 AM
"See! Voter Fraud is rampant! Just look at the voter fraud we do ourselves!"
cc_rider
2012-01-19 09:17:58 AM
enry
:
cc_rider: Okay, I'll be the first: Idiots Out Wandering Around.
But seriously, how in the frothy fark do you "lose" 8 precincts worth of votes?
ElectionVoter fraud!
Sweet mother of God, is there nothing ACORN and SOROS can't destroy?!1!!!!
(just anticipating the Fox Nation headline)
SilentStrider
2012-01-19 09:19:20 AM
I really need to make my sarcasm more obvious.
Ivo Shandor
2012-01-19 09:19:34 AM
Once again, Santorum comes from behind.
Lsherm
2012-01-19 09:22:04 AM
They didn't lose the eight precincts, subby,
those results were apparently never filed in the first place.
(new window)
Actually, if you read through the whole mess it sounds like they could have de-certified another 50 or so precincts just because they couldn't fill out paperwork correctly, but they didn't.
And it still doesn't matter - Santorum would not have won the nomination, regardless of how Iowa turned out. Neither would RON farkING PAUL!
heinrich66
2012-01-19 09:22:52 AM
First, Ron Paul is in the lead in the polls.
Second, ballot counting is moved to an undisclosed location because of fears of "OCCUPY WALL STREET". (In Iowa.)
Third, Romney wins.
Fourth, the big reveal that eight precincts' votes are lost.
/cue tin-foil-hat jokes from savvy Fark politics thread trolls!
1derful
2012-01-19 09:22:55 AM
Jake Havechek
:
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Not like it matters, Romney will be the nominee.
I thought that he would too. But all Mitt's Cayman island job creation is going to play hard against him, especially since his best defense to that is that he's blind to his investments, which really undermines his business acumen.
Bob16
2012-01-19 09:23:03 AM
Sock Ruh Tease
:
karnal: Yes - Vote Republican or less
[cdn1.newsone.com image 366x344]
Oh god, ACORN sent black people - probably Taxbongo's closest friends - to stand near a building. Now I can't go in and vote for some reason.
/what teabaggers believe
Don't you know that blacks are opressing whites when they stand near a building
thismomentinblackhistory
2012-01-19 09:23:48 AM
heinrich66
:
First, Ron Paul is in the lead in the polls.
Second, ballot counting is moved to an undisclosed location because of fears of "OCCUPY WALL STREET". (In Iowa.)
Third, Romney wins.
Fourth, the big reveal that eight precincts' votes are lost.
/cue tin-foil-hat jokes from savvy Fark politics thread trolls!
Scary. Maybe you should switch parties.
phyrkrakr
2012-01-19 09:24:21 AM
Mr. Coffee Nerves
:
"See! Voter Fraud is rampant! Just look at the voter fraud we do ourselves!"
No, this is ELECTION fraud. Big difference. Voter fraud is like keeping your beater of a car registered at your aunt's house across the river because they don't pay personal property tax in the next state over.
Election fraud is like sheltering all of your income in your highly profitable vulture capital company, which hides it in places like the Caymans, Switzerland, Asia, etc so that you only pay a marginal tax rate of 15%, and only on what income you choose to report.
Obviously, you can tell which one is a Republican problem.
Lsherm
2012-01-19 09:24:23 AM
cc_rider
:
Okay, I'll be the first: Idiots Out Wandering Around.
But seriously, how in the frothy fark do you "lose" 8 precincts worth of votes?
They didn't lose them, the results weren't filed in the first place. Because parts of Iowa are so rural, it's possible some precincts grouped together and sent in their results under one name and neglected to fill it out on the paperwork. Read the article I linked above, it has the whole story.
BitwiseShift
2012-01-19 09:28:18 AM
GWLush
2012-01-19 09:31:56 AM
heinrich66
:
First, Ron Paul is in the lead in the polls.
Second, ballot counting is moved to an undisclosed location because of fears of "OCCUPY WALL STREET". (In Iowa.)
Third, Romney wins.
Fourth, the big reveal that eight precincts' votes are lost.
/cue tin-foil-hat jokes from savvy Fark politics thread trolls!
So this was all a conspiracy because RON PAUL actually won? You think every vote in those 8 districts went to Ron Paul? They did a recount and Paul wasn't even close.
You are helping the stereotype that most Ron Paul supporters are conspiracy theory types.
You can't bring up a conspiracy and then preempltively call everyone trolls for noticing.
KrispyKritter
2012-01-19 09:33:00 AM
it's all dog and pony b.s. to begin with you know it i know it. arseclowns we'll never see in real life already have the next queen picked out. all this pageantry is a put-on to sell the rest of the world on the great american dream, a/k/a the great american lie.
qorkfiend
2012-01-19 09:33:29 AM
Lsherm
:
They didn't lose the eight precincts, subby, those results were apparently never filed in the first place. (new window)
Actually, if you read through the whole mess it sounds like they could have de-certified another 50 or so precincts just because they couldn't fill out paperwork correctly, but they didn't.
And it still doesn't matter - Santorum would not have won the nomination, regardless of how Iowa turned out. Neither would RON farkING PAUL!
And it
really
doesn't matter, because Iowa caucus isn't binding.
enry
2012-01-19 09:34:42 AM
thismomentinblackhistory
:
heinrich66: First, Ron Paul is in the lead in the polls.
Second, ballot counting is moved to an undisclosed location because of fears of "OCCUPY WALL STREET". (In Iowa.)
Third, Romney wins.
Fourth, the big reveal that eight precincts' votes are lost.
/cue tin-foil-hat jokes from savvy Fark politics thread trolls!
Scary. Maybe you should switch parties.
Get on the Cain train!
Jake Havechek
2012-01-19 09:34:43 AM
1derful
:
Jake Havechek: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Not like it matters, Romney will be the nominee.
I thought that he would too. But all Mitt's Cayman island job creation is going to play hard against him, especially since his best defense to that is that he's blind to his investments, which really undermines his business acumen.
It's gonna be real horror-show. Establishment GOP still remembers what a backstabbing opportunist Gingrich is, let alone his lack of credibility in terms of social conservatism, so they are forced to go with Romney.
Guys with brains like Huntsman and Gary Johnson never had a chance.
Howie Spankowitz
2012-01-19 09:34:45 AM
All right...we'll call it a draw.
Running away, eh?!
Come back here! I'll bite your legs off!
special20
2012-01-19 09:37:29 AM
I laugh at the GOP.
Grand Old Penii.
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