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(KRQE News) Amusing Fark ready headline: Pecan farmers on alert for nut rustlers   (krqe.com) divider line 30
More: Amusing, farmers, Roswell  
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1458 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2012 at 9:45 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
gopher321 [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 04:09:41 AM
Trying to bust a nut, huh?
 
James! [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 08:15:02 AM
Crank that Pecan (new window) may be safe not safe for work language, honestly I can't listen to the whole thing.
 
basemetal [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 08:34:22 AM
I remember a classic line given by a friend of mine's dad when we went to chase off people out picking up his pecans.

Him: Hey, those are my pecans you are stealing
them: Oh, sorry LM, we didn't know they were yours.
Him: Well, you damn sure knew they weren't yours.

/people are idiots
 
cgraves67
2012-01-19 09:47:25 AM
If you hear something strange behind you, it's just me, rustling my nuts.

/What? These pants ride up in the crotch. I can't help it.
 
beta_plus
2012-01-19 09:54:36 AM
NTTAWWT
 
WhackingDay
2012-01-19 09:55:56 AM
Nut Rustlers would be a good name for a band.
 
Cheesus
2012-01-19 09:56:18 AM
What do you get when you fall from grace? You only get cast into perdition...
 
Roughing The Snapper
2012-01-19 10:00:17 AM
larrybrownsports.com

What a nut rustler may look like.
 
Arkanaut
2012-01-19 10:02:31 AM
*closes legs instinctively*
 
BeerBear
2012-01-19 10:03:19 AM
i41.tinypic.com
 
Crewmannumber6
2012-01-19 10:06:36 AM
WhackingDay: Nut Rustlers would be a good name for a band.

Dammit! I was too slow
 
Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher
2012-01-19 10:06:40 AM

I think I'd like business cards with that title:


Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher, Esquire

Nut Rustler
 
brantgoose [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:06:46 AM
WhackingDay: Nut Rustlers would be a good name for a band.

It's taken, as I found when I Googled it and discovered 1,100,000 hits for "nut rustler".

http://www.myspace.com/thenutrustler

Since I've been beat to the punch by Fark and Reality, here's a Brantgoose playlet.

Beavis: Huh, huh, huh. He said "nut rustler".
Butthead: Shut up, you nut rustler.

This has been a Brantgoose playlet. With a tip o' the hat, as they say in the newspaper cartoon business, to Mike Judge, the most adorable round little slaphead this side of Karl Pilkington.
 
CJHardin [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:13:51 AM
I wonder if nut rustlers ever get accosted by turd burglars.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:14:27 AM
i41.tinypic.com
Obese squirrel is phlegmatic about missing her chance
to become a famous Internet meme because her meaningful
look is not that distinctive, and still holds out hope that her
obesity will be her claim to fame when she succeeds in
hitting her target weight of 1.5 pounds


Seriously, that is one over-fed squirrel. This is what happens when you replace a natural diet of pine nuts, twigs and berries with Fritos(TM).

I'd mention Yul Brenner, but 90% of Farkers are not old enough to get the reference.
 
Lucky LaRue [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:14:30 AM
BeerBear: [i41.tinypic.com image 500x750]

Lulz..
 
badhatharry [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:17:39 AM
Two cowboy were sitting in jail. One cowboy had a hat made out of a paper bag. His shirts and pants were also paper bags. The second cowboy asked,"What'cha in for? Vagrancy?". The first cowboy answered,"Nope. Rustlin'".
 
brantgoose [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 10:21:07 AM
The Nut Rustlers(TM) is a trademark of The Nut Farm Inc. and have nothing whatsoever to do with the Turd Burgler(TM) who is the mascot of City Beef Restaurants Ltd. of South Park, Colorado. The Nut Rustlers(TM) have never even met the Turd Burglar(TM) except once at a Corporate Mascot Convention in San Diego in 1996.

Yet another patented Brantgoose mini-mythstory. Truly, this thread is blessed with a plethora of ridiculous fiction this day. Say something stupid, or alternatively, clever, and I may pull off a hat trick.
 
Mr. Shabooboo
2012-01-19 10:43:54 AM
img2.tfd.com
What a nut rustler might look like
 
animalmagnet
2012-01-19 10:58:24 AM
Around these here parts, we harvest pecans in the fall, like God intended.
 
Launch Code
2012-01-19 11:01:48 AM
Check any gathering of 2 or more democrat males. Usually find some nut rustling and butt wrangling going on at those places.
 
nacarter
2012-01-19 11:19:15 AM
Were the fanny bandits busy?
 
Jackal_N
2012-01-19 11:30:53 AM
brantgoose: [i41.tinypic.com image 500x750]
Obese squirrel is phlegmatic about missing her chance
to become a famous Internet meme because her meaningful
look is not that distinctive, and still holds out hope that her
obesity will be her claim to fame when she succeeds in
hitting her target weight of 1.5 pounds

Seriously, that is one over-fed squirrel. This is what happens when you replace a natural diet of pine nuts, twigs and berries with Fritos(TM).

I'd mention Yul Brenner, but 90% of Farkers are not old enough to get the reference.

Yul Brenner? Ouch, you're right don't mention him.

/Came here to see how many times the Fark mascot squirrel would be posted by now.
//Leaving confused. Very confused.
 
kiwimoogle84 [TotalFark]
2012-01-19 11:32:28 AM
Something about nut butter.

/got nothin'
//nutella FTW
 
Crazy Talk Al
2012-01-19 12:29:27 PM
brantgoose: I'd mention Yul Brenner, but 90% of Farkers are not old enough to get the reference.

So, the pharaoh of Egypt was a robot-cowboy nut rustler?

/don't smoke
 
offmymeds
2012-01-19 12:33:44 PM
We hang nut-rustlers here in New Mexico!

24.media.tumblr.com
 
foxtail
2012-01-19 06:05:22 PM
When I was in basic training at Ft Sill OK, there were millions of pecan trees.
We were always hungry, so I figured out how to use a couple sticks to crack open the multitude of nuts from the ground.
About 1 out of 5 was good, the rest were moldy.
One douchebag decided we should not be eating the nuts because we were not given permission to eat them.
He squealed to the drill sergeant. "Drill Sergeant, They're eeeeating those nuuuts."
Drill said "Good. They are adapting and finding food on their own."


"DROP!!!!!"
 
tekmo
2012-01-20 01:10:49 AM
www.didtheydie.com

What?
 
tekmo
2012-01-20 01:11:48 AM
mitchieville.com

Team Nutrustler
 
Sifora
2012-01-20 01:23:35 AM
Cheesus: What do you get when you fall from grace? You only get cast into perdition...

It seems no one else caught it, but thank you for making me not the only person to think of that. Now I need to go not lift some flour and say "zah!" at people.
 
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