If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph) Followup Captain of stricken cruise ship says he "Tripped and fell into life boat" - Giglio   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 86
More: Followup, Italy's La Repubblica, Isola del Giglio, rescue craft, Costa Cruises  
•       •       •

4250 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2012 at 8:38 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
Scaryduck
2012-01-18 08:41:51 AM
I, myself, have used the "I was naked, tripped, and landed face down on a squirrel" excuse. Completely water-tight, as was the squirrel.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-18 08:42:34 AM
This story gets more twisted and stupid as it develops. This clown should not be captaining a rowboat, let alone a massive liner.
 
styckx [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 08:42:45 AM
$10 bucks says this guy doesn't live another year..
 
SlothB77 [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 08:44:25 AM
It was dark and he didn't have his nightlight.
 
Spoon over Marin [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 08:44:59 AM
Italians: They takes ridiculousness to a whole new level.
 
Father_Jack
2012-01-18 08:46:42 AM
Spoon over Marin: Italians: They takes ridiculousness to a whole new level.

yep. thats why i loved berlusconi. he made sarah palin somehow easier to bear.
 
nopokerface
2012-01-18 08:48:02 AM
"That's how I found myself there."

This sentence has never followed a true statement.
 
Tyrone Slothrop
2012-01-18 08:48:45 AM
What a cooincidence, yesterday I tripped and my penis fell into a girl's vagina.
 
spentmiles
2012-01-18 08:50:42 AM
I'm surprised people are so enraged over this. All though the cruise industry does its best to depict sea travel as a panacea of luxury and safety, there are still terrible risks involved in traversing the open water, no matter how large the ship. I'm sorry that the boat wrecked, but the passengers should've understood through common sense alone that what they were doing was a dangerous activity. And really, only eleven people died -- .002% of all passengers and crew. To say that the evacuation wasn't handled appropriately defies the fact that almost everyone survived. Compare that to the Titanic in which almost 70% of the passengers perished. I'd say that we're looking at a success here, not the abject failure that the media is trying to make it out to be.
 
ominousinc
2012-01-18 08:52:11 AM
comedyassistant.com
 
rdu_voyager
2012-01-18 08:52:29 AM
spentmiles: I'm surprised people are so enraged over this. All though the cruise industry does its best to depict sea travel as a panacea of luxury and safety, there are still terrible risks involved in traversing the open water, no matter how large the ship. I'm sorry that the boat wrecked, but the passengers should've understood through common sense alone that what they were doing was a dangerous activity. And really, only eleven people died -- .002% of all passengers and crew. To say that the evacuation wasn't handled appropriately defies the fact that almost everyone survived. Compare that to the Titanic in which almost 70% of the passengers perished. I'd say that we're looking at a success here, not the abject failure that the media is trying to make it out to be.

8/10
 
kronicfeld [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 08:53:01 AM
It's just a Giglio and everytime we go
People know the boat is sinking

/got nothin
 
SlothB77 [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 08:53:37 AM
spentmiles: I'm surprised people are so enraged over this. All though the cruise industry does its best to depict sea travel as a panacea of luxury and safety, there are still terrible risks involved in traversing the open water, no matter how large the ship. I'm sorry that the boat wrecked, but the passengers should've understood through common sense alone that what they were doing was a dangerous activity. And really, only eleven people died -- .002% of all passengers and crew. To say that the evacuation wasn't handled appropriately defies the fact that almost everyone survived. Compare that to the Titanic in which almost 70% of the passengers perished. I'd say that we're looking at a success here, not the abject failure that the media is trying to make it out to be.

planh.files.wordpress.com
 
Freakin Rican
2012-01-18 08:53:56 AM
oh man, i thought you were making up a funny line subby. but he actually said it.

wow just wow
 
KrispyKritter
2012-01-18 08:55:15 AM
Jake Havechek: This story gets more twisted and stupid as it develops. This clown should not be captaining a rowboat, let alone a massive liner.

what's on the telly?

ehh, it's an indie film. kind of the peter principle meets gilligan's island.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-18 08:56:55 AM
"Gilligan, drop those coconuts!"

"OWWWW!"
 
FuryOfFirestorm
2012-01-18 08:57:44 AM
Lay off him guys! He was just waiting for Celine Dion to sing and Kate Winslet to expose her tits before he could spring into action!
 
almejita
2012-01-18 08:59:07 AM
not an Italian, not an anything, just a dude who made a HUGE mistake in judgement, killed 11 (or more) people, ran away, called his mom, and wanted new socks
who among us hasn't done those things (I mean, minus the killing of 11+ people)??
 
Hagbardr
2012-01-18 09:00:35 AM
img259.imageshack.us
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-18 09:02:45 AM
When you're captain of a ship,
and the hull, it gets ripped,
that's a moron!
 
Rufus Lee King
2012-01-18 09:06:25 AM
02varvara.files.wordpress.com
 
joness0154
2012-01-18 09:06:31 AM
I suppose it was just a coincidence that his 2nd and 3rd officers tripped and fell in with him?

I'm picturing a synchronized trip & dive by the 3 of them into the boat.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-18 09:06:41 AM
Schettino, who may be charged with manslaughter, shipwreck and abandoning ship, was transferred to house arrest overnight, his lawyer Bruno Leporatti said early Wednesday.

House arrest?

Too bad the Italian justice system is about as efficient as an engine filled with runny dogshiat.

This guy will probably end up in court in about a decade.
 
bighairyguy [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:08:29 AM
He needs a lawyer, if only to tell him to just STFU.
 
carrion_luggage [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:09:27 AM
So to sum up:

Tripping, no balls.
 
WTFDYW [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:11:15 AM
He accidentallied the whole thing huh?
 
Spoon over Marin [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:14:02 AM
Maybe this is a set up for a counter-suit.
 
nekom [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:16:11 AM
Tell it to the judge.
 
MythDragon
2012-01-18 09:19:31 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk
This needs an 'Om nom nom"

Hey the captian is just naturaly clumsy. I am sure he will be tripping and falling on all sorts of dicks in prison.
 
WTFDYW [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:22:29 AM
"GET THE FARK BACK ON BOARD"

Gotta get one of those T-shirts
 
Fodder_Jack
2012-01-18 09:24:09 AM
Waiting for the Captain Schettino picture with the caption... 'why can't I hold all these life jackets'.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-01-18 09:27:23 AM
Now he's the captain of Jack and shiat, and Jack left town.
 
numbone
2012-01-18 09:31:43 AM
Another pic of a chicken mullet

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
Dead for Tax Reasons [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:36:16 AM
The guy sounds like such a prick he won't have the common decency to commit suicide
 
libranoelrose [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:37:28 AM
Freakin Rican: oh man, i thought you were making up a funny line subby. but he actually said it.

wow just wow

So much this.

Wow, just wow.
 
thismomentinblackhistory [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 09:37:45 AM
He's the Rod Blagojevich of seamen.
 
Rufus Lee King
2012-01-18 09:43:37 AM
It's a lard brain gonna fall.
 
maddermaxx
2012-01-18 09:45:19 AM
"It's true that the salute was for Commodore Mario Palombo, with whom I was on the telephone. The route was decided as we left Civitavecchia but I made a mistake on the approach. I was navigating by sight because I knew the depths well and I had done this manoeuvre three or four times. But this time I ordered the turn too late and I ended up in water that was too shallow.

"I don't know why it happened, I was a victim of my instincts."

You took a massive cruise liner deliberately close to a coast with known hazards, by sight alone, without checking your forward sonar or checking SATNAV depths where you were going, and then "fell" into a life boat when things went bad?

i632.photobucket.com

This has to be an insurance job, because no one could be this stupid and actually be made captain of anything larger than a gondola.
 
amd1433
2012-01-18 09:50:06 AM
MythDragon: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x287]
This needs an 'Om nom nom"

Hey the captian is just naturaly clumsy. I am sure he will be tripping and falling on all sorts of dicks in prison.

Or fall on a knife fourteen or fifteen times. The guy's just that unlucky.
 
MsStatement
2012-01-18 09:52:36 AM
spentmiles: I'm surprised people are so enraged over this. All though the cruise industry does its best to depict sea travel as a panacea of luxury and safety, there are still terrible risks involved in traversing the open water, no matter how large the ship. I'm sorry that the boat wrecked, but the passengers should've understood through common sense alone that what they were doing was a dangerous activity. And really, only eleven people died -- .002% of all passengers and crew. To say that the evacuation wasn't handled appropriately defies the fact that almost everyone survived. Compare that to the Titanic in which almost 70% of the passengers perished. I'd say that we're looking at a success here, not the abject failure that the media is trying to make it out to be.

This is why your posts show up in pretty light green.

They bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash!
 
cc_rider
2012-01-18 09:55:13 AM
Has the "unlikely" tag been blacked whited out in protest of SOPA?
 
oldweasel
2012-01-18 09:57:19 AM
spentmiles: I'm surprised people are so enraged over this. All though the cruise industry does its best to depict sea travel as a panacea of luxury and safety, there are still terrible risks involved in traversing the open water, no matter how large the ship. I'm sorry that the boat wrecked, but the passengers should've understood through common sense alone that what they were doing was a dangerous activity. And really, only eleven people died -- .002% of all passengers and crew. To say that the evacuation wasn't handled appropriately defies the fact that almost everyone survived. Compare that to the Titanic in which almost 70% of the passengers perished. I'd say that we're looking at a success here, not the abject failure that the media is trying to make it out to be.

Sounds like:
img811.imageshack.us
 
Commissioner for Oaths
2012-01-18 10:14:16 AM
I wonder if this Captain ever played the footie. He'd have been the Italian guy taking a blatant dive.

i26.photobucket.com
 
NationalHero
2012-01-18 10:17:57 AM
Keelhaul that sonufubiatch STAT
 
FormlessOne
2012-01-18 10:20:35 AM
Where's thistime to tell us all that we're just Carnival shills, besmirching the good name of this fine, upstanding individual to inflate the price of a stock none of us owns?
 
Ebenator
2012-01-18 10:22:45 AM
This guy is hilarious. He should host SNL.
 
booger42
2012-01-18 10:26:11 AM
OK, so how do you explain your inability refusal to get back on the boat and help, Skipper?

/somebody hit him with a hat, pls
 
ruta
2012-01-18 10:35:06 AM
"It's true that the salute was for Commodore Mario Palombo, with whom I was on the telephone..."

Whoo boy, I hope that's recorded somewhere.

"Hello, Commodore! We are passing you now! Go to your window and look! See she is beautiful! She is big as a bus but I handle her like a Ferrari going to the gym in 26 minutes! That is me! Yes! Waving to you from the bridge, ha ha haaAAAAH SHIAT!"

And congratulations to whoever guessed in the other thread that he had done this manoeuvre before. Up until now it was gross negligence on the part of the captain, but I wonder why no one else piped up about him doing this "three or four times" before. This is going to be a fascinating inquiry.
 
jspenguin [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 10:37:34 AM
"Vada a bordo, cazzo!"

Costa Concordia disaster: Transcript of exchange between Coast Guard chief commandant and ship captain (new window)

De Falco: "This is De Falco from Livorno. Am I speaking with the captain?"

Schettino: "Yes. Good evening, Cmdr. De Falco."

De Falco: "Please tell me your name."

Schettino: "I'm Capt. Schettino, commander."

De Falco: "Schettino? Listen, Schettino. There are people trapped on board. Now, you go with your lifeboat under the prow on the starboard side. There's a rope ladder. You climb that ladder and go aboard. Go aboard and tell me how many people there are. Is that clear? I'm recording this conversation, Capt. Schettino."

Schettino: "So, I'll tell you something..."

De Falco: "Speak up!"

Schettino: "So, at this moment, the boat is tipping..."

De Falco: "I got it. Listen, there are people coming down the rope ladder from the prow. You go up that ladder, get on that ship and tell me how many people are still on board and what they have on board. Is that clear? You need to tell me if there are children, women or people in need of assistance. And tell me the exact number of each of these categories. Is that clear? Schettino, you may have saved yourself from the sea, but I'm going to make you pay, I'm going to make your life miserable. Get the fark on board!

Schettino: "I'm here with the rescue boats, I'm here, I haven't gone anywhere, I'm here.

De Falco: "What are you doing there, captain?"

Schettino: "I am here to coordinate the rescue..."

De Falco: "What are you coordinating there? Go aboard! Coordinate the rescue from aboard the ship. Are you refusing?"

Schettino: "No, no, no, I am not refusing."

De Falco: "YOU GO ABOARD: That's an order. Don't make any more excuses. You declared abandon ship, now I'm in charge. YOU GO ABOARD. Is that clear?"

Schettino: "Commander, I'm going aboard."

De Falco: "Go, and call me when you are aboard. My air rescue is on the prow. Go. There are already bodies, Schettino."

Schettino: "How many bodies are there?"

De Falco: "I don't know! One for sure! I've heard of one. You're the one who has to tell me how many there are. Christ!"

Schettino: "You realize it's dark and here we can't see anything..."

De Falco: "And what? You want go home, Schettino? It's dark and you want to go home? Get on that prow of the boat using the rope ladder and tell me what can be done, how many people there are and what they need. Now!"


Also in Italian
 
nekom [TotalFark]
2012-01-18 10:40:06 AM
jspenguin: De Falco: "And what? You want go home, Schettino? It's dark and you want to go home? Get on that prow of the boat using the rope ladder and tell me what can be done, how many people there are and what they need. Now!"

That whole transcript is just incredible. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a man getting his ass absolutely handed to him. And rightfully so.
 
Displayed 50 of 86 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »