FARK.com: (6884327) Man dumps girls for a living. The Sun is there

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		Man dumps girls for a living. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)		61
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15569 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2012 at 6:18 AM | Favorite | share:

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jaylectricity

2012-01-18 12:23:59 AM

So he has a lot of space in his cistern?

Relatively Obscure

2012-01-18 12:53:31 AM

Thought it was going to be idump4u.com. Leaving disappointed.

Uakronkid

2012-01-18 01:10:17 AM

I'm glad that I was wrong about what I thought the headline was about.

cheap_thoughts

2012-01-18 01:48:02 AM

I bet they'll make a movie out of this, and the guy who does the break ups will be a bachelor, and he meets one girl that blows him over and he'll date her. The end.

Slaxl

2012-01-18 04:30:43 AM

I wanted to make a Simpsons reference, but instead I can't refrain from saying how useless he is if he does it by text. Everyone knows breaking up by text is bad form, so is asking someone else to do it for you. Having someone else break up for you by text... that's just lazy. If I hire someone to break up for me they better be swinging from aeroplanes and doing pyrotechnics. I can send a text.

AbbeySomeone

2012-01-18 05:53:05 AM

What an asshole.

StrikitRich

2012-01-18 06:33:54 AM

And your day will be even extra ruined if either of these 2 show up.

rastilin

2012-01-18 06:36:23 AM

He's doing a public service, being dumped by this guy is a sign your boyfriend was totally worthless from the start.

Hawnkee

2012-01-18 06:37:12 AM

I dump for women for a living. $50 a pop.

Space Cadet Netty

2012-01-18 06:37:23 AM

Maybe if he were an actual therapist or counselor I could probably see the merit in such a profession... kind of like the company that my ex-company hired once they laid me off to help with the "transition". That way the dumpee can get some counseling. The whole thing still seems cold though.

Although anybody who uses a third party to dump someone is a douchebag... especially when they are too cheap to spring for the "in person" option so they dump over text instead. WTF?

PsiChi

2012-01-18 06:39:47 AM

cheap_thoughts: I bet they'll make a movie out of this, and the guy who does the break ups will be a bachelor, and he meets one girl that bowls him over and he'll ~~date~~ marry her. The end.

At least subby will never need Kiekbusch' services.

Opeth1429

2012-01-18 06:43:29 AM

Who does this tool call when he wants to break up with someone? Better yet, what happens if his own girlfriend calls his business line?

JohnnyShotMe

2012-01-18 06:45:19 AM

Hero?

thamike

2012-01-18 06:56:47 AM

Ugh. Smarmy.

img.thesun.co.uk

I TEX U A PIC OF ME SHULDERZ LOL.. NOW U CRYZ CUZ BOBBY HATEZ U FAT SLAG!!!!11

offmymeds

2012-01-18 06:57:41 AM

So he's like Cyrano de Bergerac in reverse?

HaywoodJablonski

2012-01-18 06:58:15 AM

It would b one thing if he were able to deftly leave both parties happy with the result and almost no pain, but it sounds like he sucks at his job.

BenJammin

2012-01-18 07:01:06 AM

I'm sorry old chap but I think you have Marfan syndrome.

offmymeds

2012-01-18 07:07:01 AM

thamike: Ugh. Smarmy.

[img.thesun.co.uk image 640x425]

I TEX U A PIC OF ME SHULDERZ LOL.. NOW U CRYZ CUZ BOBBY HATEZ U FAT SLAG!!!!11

Goddamit! Donuts and Pepsi all over my monitor!

thesloppy

2012-01-18 07:14:32 AM

I hesitate to dump on this dude (pun intended)....well wait, I take that back, he personally probably does get some kind of rise out of this, which is weird, but I don't think his service is inherently wrong, or evil. Lots of people DO need their stupid, dysfunctional relationships ended, but won't/can't do it themselves for whatever reasons, and they will be better off for it, even though it seems like a relatively crappy and heartless way to get broken up with. The heartless, cold, and impersonal nature might so denigrate the person who hired the break-up artist, that it actually make it easier to recover from, rather than having someone you thought was 'the one' drag you through a painful, protracted and highly personal break-up.

Roadogs

2012-01-18 07:15:18 AM

"But I'm happy to be the messenger and, so far, I've come away unscathed."

i43.tinypic.com

stebain

2012-01-18 07:15:20 AM

Something something Jimmy Fallon something.

Faddy

2012-01-18 07:15:31 AM

Man develops plan to meet newly single girls at a time of emotional flux. I'm sure he has never gotten laid because of this.

AbbeySomeone

2012-01-18 07:19:53 AM

Faddy: Man develops plan to meet newly single girls at a time of emotional flux. I'm sure he has never gotten laid because of this.

That would just make him all the more reprehensible.

booger42

2012-01-18 07:20:55 AM

Dear baby;

Welcome to Dumpville, population: You

PS

I am gay

QuinnTheFetus

2012-01-18 07:23:28 AM

booger42: Dear baby;

Welcome to Dumpville, population: You

PS

I am gay

Now there is the Simpsons ref I was thinking

CitizenjaQ

2012-01-18 07:26:23 AM

thesloppy: The heartless, cold, and impersonal nature might so denigrate the person who hired the break-up artist, that it actually make it easier to recover from, rather than having someone you thought was 'the one' drag you through a painful, protracted and highly personal break-up.

There is merit to this. Though I have managed to stay friendly with a good number of my exes, sometimes it's easier to handle if they're obnoxious and insensitive about dumping you so you can write them off as not worth your time.

lumiere

2012-01-18 07:28:53 AM

L'arnacoeur, "The Heartbreaker" with Romain Duris and Vanessa Paradis...

LDM90

2012-01-18 07:39:01 AM

For a living what? A living WHAT? I gotta know!

RobSeace

2012-01-18 07:42:02 AM

FTFA: But Jonathan, who also works in marketing

Ah, that explains it: he has no soul!

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself."

until she showed up on his Facebook page denouncing him as a rat for getting someone else to ditch her by text

Uh, yeah, and she's completely correct... If you use this man's services, you are worthless, spineless, inhuman scum... Worse even than this guy!

Tyrone Slothrop

2012-01-18 07:44:18 AM

Any woman who's dumb enough to go out with a guy who'd hire this guy deserves what she gets.

gmoney101

2012-01-18 07:49:18 AM

RobSeace: FTFA: But Jonathan, who also works in marketing

Ah, that explains it: he has no soul!

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x352]

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself."

until she showed up on his Facebook page denouncing him as a rat for getting someone else to ditch her by text

Uh, yeah, and she's completely correct... If you use this man's services, you are worthless, spineless, inhuman scum... Worse even than this guy!

I bet you're gay

olddinosaur

2012-01-18 08:02:07 AM

If you haven't got any more balls than that between your legs, what are you doing with a woman anyway?

numbone

2012-01-18 08:06:48 AM

SevenizGud

2012-01-18 08:16:33 AM

What a scam. I show up in a bar or some place likely to have more than one hot chick. I go up to her and give her the bad news that her other half wants to dump her. If she asks any questions, I pull the Jonathan Edwards routine and show her some crappy website front that shows the charging for break-up services with my pic on it. If she thinks it's legit, then there is a decent chance that:

she revenge-sexes me

If she's single, then I explain that it's just a farking line, and I still have about a 10% shot at nailing her, since the line itself is unimportant..

If her s.o. is walking back towards her at the moment, and she is looking around waiting for him to come back, I just say, "wait a second, you are Yvette Nunez, aren't you? Oh, my bad", and move on to the next chick.

/except that I am already married to the hottest and most wonderful woman alive.

RobSeace

2012-01-18 08:21:52 AM

gmoney101: I bet you're gay

I'm sorry, you're out of luck; you'll need to find someone else to hit on...

SharkTrager

2012-01-18 08:23:31 AM

Faddy: Man develops plan to meet newly single girls at a time of emotional flux. I'm sure he has never gotten laid because of this.

And the other guy pays for the date under "expenses".

illuminatis

2012-01-18 08:39:28 AM

clever, clever bastard. Imagine the amount of tail this dude can get. Just after being dumped is when a chick is most likely to engage in a spot of casual sex. Firstly as a salve to her bruised ego, to feel attractive again and secondly as a form of revenge against the heartless asswipe who has just dumped her. A few comforting words, a shoulder to cry on, then over to her place for a good romp.......
and he is getting paid for it.
Well played sir, I salute your audacity.

Tyrone Slothrop

2012-01-18 08:41:15 AM

RobSeace: gmoney101: I bet you're gay

I'm sorry, you're out of luck; you'll need to find someone else to hit on...

The best way to determine this is to be put in a room filled with girls between 16 and 18.5 years old who need a good spanking.

KrispyKritter

2012-01-18 08:49:46 AM

AbbeySomeone: Faddy: Man develops plan to meet newly single girls at a time of emotional flux. I'm sure he has never gotten laid because of this.

That would just make him all the more reprehensible.

i thought that's what he was doing too, picking up broken pieces. but he doesn't afford them face time, it's text.

RobSeace

2012-01-18 09:00:57 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: RobSeace: gmoney101: I bet you're gay

I'm sorry, you're out of luck; you'll need to find someone else to hit on...

The best way to determine this is to be put in a room filled with girls between 16 and 18.5 years old who need a good spanking.

Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.

hailin

2012-01-18 09:15:24 AM

Where was this guy when I was trying to break up with my ex-boyfriend?! Man that one was a real piece of work. He decided to quit talking to me for two weeks without warning (no text, email, or phone calls), so I assumed it was over and started looking for someone else. Then out of the blue he calls me up and tells me to be ready for his work BBQ in two hours and that he was coming to get me. What?! When he comes to pick me up I tell him I didn't think it was working out and to enjoy the BBQ. He just assumed I was pissed and continued calling me and trying to date. I finally agree to dinner so I can tell him again that it was over. He said and I quote, "I know you are upset, but I love you and we will make it over this hurdle. I know you want to be with me." to which I replied "No, I don't" got up and left. Nothing was getting through to him, so I finally started dating the guy I wanted to be with and suddenly get all these nasty and horrible texts about how I'm a cheating biatch and then splashed all over social media for a few months. That was lovely.

Maybe it would have gotten through if I would have hired this guy. For some reason he just wouldn't acknowledge it coming from me and I am a straight forward lady. I literally said "I don't love you anymore and I want to break up" which for some reason he heard as "I'm pissed you ignored me for two weeks so show me you still love me". Annoying as all hell, but at least I don't have to deal with him anymore.

k2rider

2012-01-18 09:16:37 AM

thesloppy: Lots of people DO need their stupid, dysfunctional relationships ended, but won't/can't do it themselves for whatever reasons, and they will be better off for it, even though it seems like a relatively crappy and heartless way to get broken up with.

If you're unable to get yourself out of relationships, then you shouldn't get yourself into them. Dating requires some level of emotional maturity. Aside from that, there seems to be something very douchebaggy (even stingy, I'd say) about enjoying all the good/fun times in a relationship, and then passing the buck to someone else when the hard part comes.

66dude

2012-01-18 09:18:46 AM

Ok, is this about the guy that gives women Cleveland Steamers?

/DNRTFA

factoryconnection

2012-01-18 09:40:34 AM

k2rider: If you're unable to get yourself out of relationships, then you shouldn't get yourself into them. Dating requires some level of emotional maturity. Aside from that, there seems to be something very douchebaggy (even stingy, I'd say) about enjoying all the good/fun times in a relationship, and then passing the buck to someone else when the hard part comes.

True, but how non-douchey can you be if you're practiced and proficient enough to be GOOD at breaking up with your own S/Os? I mean, I've broken up with a few girls and been dumped myself a few times, but that was over the course of years... and I had a bunch of failed breakups among them! Manipulative people can twist a breakup into a challenge to the person trying to break things off... but only with someone that is emotionally involved.

Now, being the type of person that hires someone for a 5-spot to do it via text is just wrong. If the clients actually "cared" about the person, they'd at least go for the in-person appearance fee. Then, this guy scores some rebound sex and the girl is too embarrassed to bother the hiring ex-boyfriend again. A win for everyone.

stonicus

2012-01-18 09:40:45 AM

RobSeace: Uh, yeah, and she's completely correct... If you use this man's services, you are worthless, spineless, inhuman scum... Worse even than this guy!

Why? Cuz you gotta "keep it real" and "be a real man"? Lame. Sometimes it's better to hear it that way, so you don't get all emotional about it. Also, like in the example of the 19 year old femdom wanna-be, her first reaction was "well, he was weak". She's a user who didn't deserve his face-to-face breakup.

Also, would you rather he be on the goverrnment dole? At least he's working. =)

Aidan

2012-01-18 09:44:44 AM

PRO: Look, sometimes women are crazy, scary, and psycho. I don't really blame guys who want to avoid either hurting their feelings or you know, waving a red flag in front of them.

CON: On the other hand, this guy claims it isn't good to break-up by text, and then does it repeatedly in the article. Also, it doesn't sound like he does a very good job of letting anyone down easy. He says he gets a lot of abuse - some unavoidable, but I think he's just not very good at his job.

thesloppy

2012-01-18 09:47:15 AM

k2rider: Dating requires some level of emotional maturity.

Having a good relationship requires some level of maturity, simply getting into a relationship requires just an interested partner. I tried to qualify my statement with "stupid, dysfunctional relationships" assuming that it would be obvious that anybody who needs to use this guy's service is not in a healthy situation in the first place. I stand by the idea that if someone is in the kind of crappy relationship that requires this dude's services, having him break it up quick and cold may very well be doing everybody a favor. Though I certainly didn't mean to give the impression that anybody involved should be commended for such toolbaggery.

IXI Jim IXI

2012-01-18 10:20:32 AM

Looking at the comments on the article, it looks like lynnb37 is a former client or something...

RobSeace

2012-01-18 10:23:48 AM

stonicus: Why? Cuz you gotta "keep it real" and "be a real man"?

It's not about being a "man"; it's about being a non-sociopathic human being with some goddamn empathy and compassion! Hiring someone else to break up for you says, "I don't give enough of a shiat about you to waste my time any further on you, so I'm hiring this jackass to deal with your shiat!"... Having them do it via text message is just salt in the wound! I mean, christ, it's not even an acceptable method of quitting a crappy job that you hate, let alone breaking up with someone you supposedly loved and who theoretically loves you...

ringersol

2012-01-18 10:27:18 AM

Frankly, if this guy shows up to tell you that your relationship is over, it's your own damn fault.

Date spineless douchebags, win douchebag prizes.

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