FARK.com: (6882768) Two guys I work with were arguing over the last doughut in the breakroom. One stuck his finger in it and then to celebrate or rub it in gave the other guy a crotch chop. These are supposedly adults. What amused you this morning so far?

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(Some Guy)		Two guys I work with were arguing over the last doughut in the breakroom. One stuck his finger in it and then to celebrate or rub it in gave the other guy a crotch chop. These are supposedly adults. What amused you this morning so far? (google.com)		266
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Timanous

2012-01-17 09:17:35 AM

But did the crotch-chopper tell the crotch-choppee to "Suck it"?

KingoftheCheese

2012-01-17 09:18:45 AM

It snowed last night and my daughter is at that stage where she is simply fascinated by the stuff. The entire car ride to tje babysitter was her looking out the window and saying "Ooooo. Oooooooo. Daddy, was dat??? Oooooo." It was pretty damn cute.

logophile

2012-01-17 09:19:33 AM

my dog. he's just so freaking cute!!!!!

we walked in the rain and then back in i went to go get a towel to wipe him down and i come back and he's trying to dry himself off on the rug and making all these growly noises. then i rubbed him down and just his little nose was peeking out and he's looking at me with all this love and smiling this goofy doggie smile and i JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

professorkowalski

2012-01-17 09:19:44 AM

Nothing in the world is amusing anymore.

oldfarthenry

2012-01-17 09:20:11 AM

Didn't the 'merikun civil war start over such an argument?

myschief

2012-01-17 09:20:13 AM

logophile: my dog. he's just so freaking cute!!!!!

we walked in the rain and then back in i went to go get a towel to wipe him down and i come back and he's trying to dry himself off on the rug and making all these growly noises. then i rubbed him down and just his little nose was peeking out and he's looking at me with all this love and smiling this goofy doggie smile and i JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

It makes me smile just reading about it.

Timanous

2012-01-17 09:20:45 AM

professorkowalski: Nothing in the world is amusing anymore.

Spoken like a true newlywed.

Aarontology

2012-01-17 09:20:46 AM

Please tell me that when he crotch chopped he got jelly all of his pants.

res_nihil

2012-01-17 09:20:51 AM

mcsiegs

2012-01-17 09:21:56 AM

professorkowalski: Nothing in the world is amusing anymore.

Have a toddler running around your house. They are a constant source of laughter

professorkowalski

2012-01-17 09:22:50 AM

Timanous: Spoken like a true newlywed.

I'm trying out a new schtick.

Serious Kowalski isn't going as well as planned. Not easy to pull this off.

Crudbucket

2012-01-17 09:23:08 AM

mcsiegs: professorkowalski: Nothing in the world is amusing anymore.

Have a toddler running around your house. They are a constant source of ~~laughter~~ poop

Kasira

2012-01-17 09:24:25 AM

My dogs. They've taken to "talking" when they want me to hurry up. This funny whiny barky growly noise. "Hurry up, it's walk time! Hey why are you going in the bathroom? It's walk time!"

Brandyelf

2012-01-17 09:26:16 AM

Nothing has amused me so far today. My dog is very excited that it's almost 40 degrees warmer today than yesterday (it was 30 this morning), so he ran around a lot and didn't want to come in (at 6am!) but he did that yesterday, too. He won't let me dry him off with a towel, because he tries to eat the towel. He is fully into the teenager stage and it sucks 50% of the time (it is awesome the other 50% though)

I got to work and realized I have on two different socks because my 11 year-old folded them and "they're both black Mom, sheesh".

I am tired and crabby because of the above-mentioned dog and 11 year-old child all decided my bed was the best bed last night. While that's sweet, I get no sleep.

My skin looks freakin' awesome though, so there's that.

dickkead

2012-01-17 09:41:31 AM

Adults are just kids with tons of experience.

bigpete53

2012-01-17 09:50:35 AM

My daughter woke up in the middle of the night, got out of her bed, and slept on the floor next to the bed with her little stuffed gorilla. Made me smile.

KingKauff

2012-01-17 09:52:04 AM

Kasira: My dogs. They've taken to "talking" when they want me to hurry up. This funny whiny barky growly noise. "Hurry up, it's walk time! Hey why are you going in the bathroom? It's walk time!"

One of my dogs starts running in circles (more of a jump/circle kind of thing) whenever he deems we're taking too long to let him out.

k2rider

2012-01-17 09:53:38 AM

I'll be amused when I get home from work. My (vegan) wife is making me a cheeseburger for dinner.

/she wears latex gloves when she handles meat
//cracks me up every time

scarmig

2012-01-17 09:53:49 AM

What amused me so far this morning? They plugged my car into the computer to check the codes. Computer says the transmission software has been recalled and needs to be updated. They update the software, which subsequently wipes the remaining codes from the system and thus they do not know if there is anything else wrong with the car.

I know, it's not very funny, but it's the best I got this morning.

Mr. Murder

2012-01-17 10:10:05 AM

Why the fark is this green?

kwame

2012-01-17 10:10:49 AM

There was a story on ESPN about how the Packers are still shocked by the loss Sunday. Heh.

dolphkhan

2012-01-17 10:11:34 AM

Mr. Murder: Why the fark is this green?

I thought it would amuse you.

homeschooled

2012-01-17 10:11:59 AM

My dog, Tank, does the "Tank dance" when I'm feeding him in the morning. He kind of bucks all his legs up and just hops over and over again, slowly scooting himself with me as I walk to where I put his bowl down, the entire time looking at my like I'm holding a 20 oz filet.

I loves him.

fragMasterFlash

2012-01-17 10:12:57 AM

Mr. Murder: Why the fark is this green?

img338.imageshack.us

kwame

2012-01-17 10:13:26 AM

homeschooled: I loves him.

My cat did nothing to amuse me this morning. He's developed a habit of whining if I don't walk with him to his bowl so he can make sure there are plenty of triangles, then he sits on the arm of the couch as I'm drinking my coffee and begs for head pats. It's.

Well, OK that's actually kind of cute I guess. Dammit.

Go Fast Turn Left

2012-01-17 10:14:10 AM

Amusing: One of my doctors not understanding why I won't give him unconditional access to our webserver to set up a Wordpress site (yes, he wants full DB access and everything).

More amusing: This thread went green.

Shaggydum80

2012-01-17 10:18:05 AM

kwame: homeschooled: I loves him.

My cat did nothing to amuse me this morning. He's developed a habit of whining if I don't walk with him to his bowl so he can make sure there are plenty of triangles, then he sits on the arm of the couch as I'm drinking my coffee and begs for head pats. It's.

Well, OK that's actually kind of cute I guess. Dammit.

My cat taught herself to fetch over the last couple of weeks and she loves the little rings off of milk jugs. She now brings one to me when me alarm goes off so I can throw it before I even fully wake up. She drops it on my laptop (other side of bed) so it makes noise. That way I can find it and throw it without having to open my eyes. It's annoying and adorable at the same time.

PFRboy

2012-01-17 10:18:08 AM

Nothing amuses me today. I got roughly 3 hours of sleep last night.

rostit

2012-01-17 10:19:20 AM

kwame: homeschooled: I loves him.

My cat did nothing to amuse me this morning. He's developed a habit of whining if I don't walk with him to his bowl so he can make sure there are plenty of triangles, then he sits on the arm of the couch as I'm drinking my coffee and begs for head pats. It's.

Well, OK that's actually kind of cute I guess. Dammit.

My cat wakes me up in the middle of the night if the wood stove needs fuel. He walks on my face until I wake up then he paws at me until I get up and check it. Once he hears me put a log in, he calms down and lets me go back to sleep. Now I stuff it with wood before bed.

Aphoticamy

2012-01-17 10:20:25 AM

My 9yo daughter told me this morning that she had a dream about a giant tree full of thousands of copies of our very dumb ginger cat--all singing, in harmony, an "evil" version of The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

bigpete53

2012-01-17 10:20:40 AM

Green, eh?

Well, this is the riveting conversation of TFD on a Tuesday morning, liters.

Enjoy.

rostit

2012-01-17 10:21:09 AM

bigpete53: Green, eh?

Well, this is the riveting conversation of TFD on a Tuesday morning, liters.

Enjoy.

It will turn into a BIE thread I am pretty sure.

kwame

2012-01-17 10:22:09 AM

Shaggydum80: It's annoying and adorable at the same time.

Mine did that too. I loved that moment of realization after throwing a milk ring all evening that my cat had just taught me to play fetch.

rostit: Now I stuff it with wood before bed.

That's a terrible way to treat your pet.

rostit

2012-01-17 10:23:13 AM

Hey Liters.

If you drop $5 you can read about my struggles to decide what to get for lunch today!

Also, I am sure that someone will be asking which TFer they would like to join forces with as underwear clad super heros.

bigpete53

2012-01-17 10:23:27 AM

rostit: It will turn into a BIE thread I am pretty sure.

Hmmmm.

How about I give a sponsorship for one month to the first two women to send me verified BIE?

professorkowalski

2012-01-17 10:23:35 AM

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOP

_thread

rostit

2012-01-17 10:23:50 AM

kwame: That's a terrible way to treat your pet.

I do need to trim his claws.

bigpete53

2012-01-17 10:24:39 AM

rostit: Also, I am sure that someone will be asking which TFer they would like to join forces with as underwear clad super heros.

No, that isn't until Wednesday.

It's Taco Tuesday on TFD, so we'll be talking about all things taco related for most of the afternoon.

syrynxx

2012-01-17 10:25:26 AM

I got an email referring to me as the 'Llama Whisperer'.

Shaggydum80

2012-01-17 10:25:48 AM

kwame: Shaggydum80: It's annoying and adorable at the same time.

Mine did that too. I loved that moment of realization after throwing a milk ring all evening that my cat had just taught me to play fetch.

rostit: Now I stuff it with wood before bed.

That's a terrible way to treat your pet.

The frustrating thing for me was all of the toys I bought her that she never played with. Then one day she got hold of a milk ring and started carrying it around the house so she could play with it in different rooms. I was like "So this whole time, all I had to do to entertain you was drink some damn milk".

RexTalionis

2012-01-17 10:28:33 AM

Nothing amused me today. But then again, nothing ever has.

Theeng

2012-01-17 10:28:43 AM

syrynxx: I got an email referring to me as the 'Llama Whisperer'.

I require your services in that manner then, farking llamas won't leave.

jadeblue

2012-01-17 10:30:21 AM

The leaflet frenchcheesemuseum posted in a TFD thread this morning. I am still giggling.

homeschooled

2012-01-17 10:30:51 AM

rostit: kwame: homeschooled: I loves him.

My cat did nothing to amuse me this morning. He's developed a habit of whining if I don't walk with him to his bowl so he can make sure there are plenty of triangles, then he sits on the arm of the couch as I'm drinking my coffee and begs for head pats. It's.

Well, OK that's actually kind of cute I guess. Dammit.

My cat wakes me up in the middle of the night if the wood stove needs fuel. He walks on my face until I wake up then he paws at me until I get up and check it. Once he hears me put a log in, he calms down and lets me go back to sleep. Now I stuff it with wood before bed.

If I was guaranteed that my cat would be a nice friendly cat that love lots of triangles, or the rings off a milk carton, I would totally buy one. But... I have a feeling the kitten I would pick out would turn out to be an asshole. I'm just not willing to risk it. You don't have that kind of risk with a dog if you get a lab or a golden retriever. Have you EVER met an asshole golden retriever? Yeah, didn't think so.

syrynxx

2012-01-17 10:31:07 AM

The llama was extremely friendly. Apparently it came from a petting zoo. Very soft, too.

Fondle My Sweaters

2012-01-17 10:31:40 AM

I dunno...there was a drag queen "drag race" on WGN morning news. But for the most part I'm just disgruntled this morning because the weather is ass and people on my commute were being assholes.

KingKauff

2012-01-17 10:32:01 AM

What will amuse me is the people biatching about this going green.

RexTalionis

2012-01-17 10:32:21 AM

homeschooled: Have you EVER met an asshole golden retriever? Yeah, didn't think so.

I once knew a golden retriever that enjoyed gnawing on your fingers. Okay, it was more like gumming your fingers with lots of slobber..

homeschooled

2012-01-17 10:34:32 AM

RexTalionis: homeschooled: Have you EVER met an asshole golden retriever? Yeah, didn't think so.

I once knew a golden retriever that enjoyed gnawing on your fingers. Okay, it was more like gumming your fingers with lots of slobber..

d'awwwww, I'm disgusting because that sounds cute. One of my dogs, Winnie, is an OCD neurotic freak and doesn't lick anything or anyone, so I kinda of miss doggy kisses and nomz. When I get home she just stares up at me all super excited, and I come down really close to her face and she wags her tail and sticks her cold nose on my nose and just sits there as long as I'll let her, and she also expects me to give her belly and head rubs while doing this. It's our routine. She's a cutie.

kwame

2012-01-17 10:35:21 AM

homeschooled: If I was guaranteed that my cat would be a nice friendly cat that love lots of triangles, or the rings off a milk carton, I would totally buy one. But... I have a feeling the kitten I would pick out would turn out to be an asshole. I'm just not willing to risk it. You don't have that kind of risk with a dog if you get a lab or a golden retriever. Have you EVER met an asshole golden retriever? Yeah, didn't think so.

I haven't met an asshole retriever, but I have met one that was kind of like that disabled kid who wants to be your friend so bad that he runs into you and knocks you down and drools on you all the time.

When my wife asked about getting a cat, I said I wanted approval, so we went to the shelter until I met one I liked. We made 12 visits over 6 months before finding the right one. He's aight.

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