He defeated evolution.

Mm, his blueberry "fertility smoothie" is sweet, but a little hard to swallow.

All I did was read the title, shake my head and chuckle lightly, and suddenly I knew every fact about the story. That's how all news should be.

What a dumbarsenault.

"you jackin' it?"

-- Mark Foley

He looks like a Carradine.

/sounds like one too

Pribar: good laugh atm

ATM is serious business.

There's got to be a virgin birth joke in there somewhere.

What women would want his DNA? So much wrong!

does he supply the applicator to the recipients as well or do they furnish it.

"we would like some of your best sperm and a turkey baster shaped like jodie foster's fist"

Evidence that Fark needs a "gross" or "ewww" tag, as I wouldn't classify this as "sick."

A balding, gap-toothed dork named Trent who has made ridiculous choices?

Are we sure this isn't Paul Scheer doing a bit for season 2 of NTSF:SD:SUV::?

Mr. Parker: What women would want his DNA? So much wrong!

At first I though he provided the money shot in porn films because I was having a bit of trouble rapping my head around the idea that women would use porn sites to find sperm donors. I can only imagine the water cooler conversations:

Jane: So I was surfing the web last night...
Coworker: Stop I don't want to know.
Jane:... all he had was a sample cup and a bottle of lube...
Coworker: Stop, please just stop!
Jane: ...long story short I'm going to be a mom.

Here is what is really messed up:

Having unprotected sex with multiple willing women who want to get pregnant, and successfully fathering a child with many women:
Perfectly legal, no questions asked

Finding women who want to have a baby, masturbating into a cup, and giving your semen to these women:
The FDA will try and shut you down

The ends are the same. How does changing the means affect the legality of it all?

dave_dfwm: Here is what is really messed up:

Having unprotected sex with multiple willing women who want to get pregnant, and successfully fathering a child with many women:
Perfectly legal, no questions asked

Finding women who want to have a baby, masturbating into a cup, and giving your semen to these women:
The FDA will try and shut you down

The ends are the same. How does changing the means affect the legality of it all?

Shhhhh - you'll give the government a morality/logic inversion headache.

Good for him.

Waiting for the right woman to come along and show him true love. Until then, he's making money whacking it and giving women his babies.

I'd say he's doing it very right.

/Sex is overrated.
//Most women can't do it better then I can anyway.

Uncle_Sam's_Titties: All I did was read the title, shake my head and chuckle lightly, and suddenly I knew every fact about the story. That's how all news should be.

They all can be. Just don't read the article.

/like a true farker

Mr. Parker: What women would want his DNA? So much wrong!

A fat chick that's so ugly she can't even get Spicy McHaggis to give her a shove

Is there a market for jack off porn?

Women pleasuring themselves is very sensual, but some guy yanking his wang and grunting just doesn't sound sexy.

jaylectricity: All the responsibility without the burden of enjoyment.

Bull milking and other cowboy pastimes.

Jake Havechek: Is there a market for jack off porn?

Women pleasuring themselves is very sensual, but some guy yanking his wang and grunting just doesn't sound sexy.

I'm inclined to agree but everyone's got their own weird kink I guess.

Hey, who'd like to see my weener?

Ladies?

/some of you gentlemen?

Jake Havechek: Is there a market for jack off porn?

Women pleasuring themselves is very sensual, but some guy yanking his wang and grunting just doesn't sound sexy.

Flip women and guy around, and you've got the perspective of gay guys, and probably some women too.

This is farked up on so many levels. This guy is just gay and, I'm guessing, not very good at it.

Every one of these women is doing it to up their gubmint bennies.

Dirk: Well, if you just wanna see me jack off, it's ten. But if you just wanna look at it, it's only five.

What a wanker.

dave_dfwm: The ends are the same. How does changing the means affect the legality of it all?

It's the same problem as:

Buying a girl a movie ticket and dinner then having sex is fine.

Skipping the movie and food and just giving her that money then having sex is illegal in most states.

Sock Ruh Tease: Mm, his blueberry "fertility smoothie" is sweet, but a little hard to swallow.

No good can come from that.

Is he not worried about future child support payments?

Pro Tip for the MSM:

jerking off in front off your webcam does not make you a "porn star".


If that's the case, then my crazy uncles truther/RON PAUL! rants on you tube make him a "Nationally Known Political Pundit"

GaidinCanuck: Good for him.

Waiting for the right woman to come along and show him true love. Until then, he's making money whacking it and giving women his babies.

I'd say he's doing it very right.

/Sex is overrated.
//Most women can't do it better then I can anyway.

What happens when all of his kids grow up and want to date each other not realizing they are related?

Is he not worried about future child support payments?

Yeah, I'm gonna be laughing my ass off when he finds out you can't sign away that responsibility.

Biatches gonna be going all "Goodfellas" on him. "Oh, we signed a paper saying you didn't have to support the kids? Fark you, pay me" "But, your honor, please!" "Fark you, pay her"

That really was too much information, Subby.

What an enterprising individual.

GRCooper: Is he not worried about future child support payments?

Yeah, I'm gonna be laughing my ass off when he finds out you can't sign away that responsibility.

Biatches gonna be going all "Goodfellas" on him. "Oh, we signed a paper saying you didn't have to support the kids? Fark you, pay me" "But, your honor, please!" "Fark you, pay her"

How do they do it at fertility clinics where they use donated sperm then? Just curios.

Jake Havechek: Is there a market for jack off porn?

Uhhh, yea. Lots of it, in fact.

/porn store clerk

lokisbong: How do they do it at fertility clinics where they use donated sperm then? Just curios.

Lots, and lots of layers of lawyers between the donor and the baby. That's a good chunk of the reason why they are so fanatical about identity protection in the first place. I also feel like I've seen at least once on Fark when it didn't work and the guy STILL got nailed for child support.

khyberkitsune: Jake Havechek: Is there a market for jack off porn?

Uhhh, yea. Lots of it, in fact.

/porn store clerk

The breadth of your talents and interests never ceases to amaze me, Kyber. ;)

/yep, it's me...of indoor lighting interests :^)