When I was a kid we would drive 30 miles to the nearest Cracker Barrel and wait around an hour before getting a table. Why did my parents do that?

markie_farkie: OK CSB time.. I was driving the in-laws and other assorted family to Tennessee a few years ago, and came across this in Cracker Barrel (had to stop there cuz that's the law with that side of the family):

[homepage.mac.com image 640x480]

Flipped it over, and sure enough....

[homepage.mac.com image 640x480]

MADE IN CHINA??? REALLY?

It's the retail version of politicians cynically and ironically appealing to cheap patriotism. There's ALWAYS a quick buck to be made milking your FOX-watching grandfather. Shortly after 9/11 I made a habit of checking all the then-ubiquitous flags and pins and hats and sh*t to see if any were actually made here. Nope. Bonus fun: Many were made in motherfarking Pakistan.

As for Cracker barrel itself, it is a place where all hope and dreams go to die. Its like a black hole whose pull can't be overcome. If other Farkers like it, fine, and I'm sorry to offend you. But if you ever see me at one again you know I've farked up real bad, man.

Mugato: I've been to Cracker Barrel a lot of times with people on the way to Orlando and I swear to Christ they seat black customers in the same left back corner seat. Maybe I'm crazy but after the sixth time we were there, it was early and there were only a few tables taken, I said to my friends, wait till a black group comes in and Goddammit if they didn't seat them in that same left back seat.

They also have a white nativity and a black nativity doll collection. And their dolls in general are farking scary but that's a separate issue.

There's a reason they call it "Cracker Barrel." From what I understand, they have far more than their fair share of discrimination suits. That's not proof of anything, even when they've settled, but typically where there's smoke there's fire.

Good news for him, because dead people eat for free (new window)

Damn I love Cracker Barrel breakfasts... well, as long as they don't seat me in the "black corner." It's very loud in that corner, and I'm unable to hear the "snap" as I break the skin of my gravy.

Mugato: I'm not claiming that it is, I'm just saying it's very strange.

They do make a good breakfast though.


Breakfasts are great and the country fried steaks are pretty good.

screw the barrel

Link (new window)

It was a big day for me when I finally beat that triangle-peg-jumping game.

They stopped firing the gays but still don't like the darks.

RIP

A fun game to play when you're at Cracker Barrel: Count the attractive people.

On second thought, counting to zero isn't that fun.

I make my own gravy

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Will Uncle Herschel be one of the pall-bearers?

He's a favorite. An oldie but a goody, so to speak.

browntimmy: A fun game to play when you're at Cracker Barrel: Count the attractive people.

On second thought, counting to zero isn't that fun.

I go to Cracker Barrel for the same reason I go to Wal Mart: To feel thin and attractive.

My mother-in-law is from Arkansas, and my father-in-law is from Central New York, but did some of his studies and military service in the South. If they come to visit, and me and my son aren't part of the party, they'll take my wife to Cracker Barrel but when I am with them, suddenly if they want to go out, they want to go anywhere but there.

It took me a while to realize they were afraid that the Cracker Barrel people might give us a problem because they might need to quarantine the other patrons from teh ghey or teh librul and rather than risk it suddenly decide they don't want their Cracker Barrel food after all.

Also, I think they think that since some of my family and friends live in Europe and Canada I'm going to have a problem with places with flags all over... I cannot figure them out!

/Never been to Cracker Barrel

*wistful sigh* The only place in New Jersey to get half-decent chicken livers.

/but you need the baked apples too, to make them palatable

Tergiversada: I go to Cracker Barrel for the same reason I go to Wal Mart: To feel thin and attractive.

I go to Wal Mart for cheap handgun ammunition, they are cheaper than Bass Pro Shops and the gun shows.

Went to a Cracker Barrel in VA once. Best place I've ever eaten at. RIP genius.

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Rapmaster2000: When I was a kid we would drive 30 miles to the nearest Cracker Barrel and wait around an hour before getting a table. Why did my parents do that?

Because hashbrown casserole.

Back when it used to be great? In the individual skillets? With just a touch of sour cream and cheese?
I miss that....

I pick up all my women from the WAL-MART sporting goods section!

markie_farkie: Mugato: I'm not claiming that it is, I'm just saying it's very strange.

They do make a good breakfast though.

Look at where most of the stores are located..

They are, with very very very few exceptions, right off the highway on a "Blind Kid Plays Banjo on Porch, 5 miles down the road" exit.

I'd say 90% are right off the interstate.

If I am traveling alone in an area where nobody knows me I'll go to a Cracker Barrel.
I'm not ashamed

sammichtester: I pick up all my women from the WAL-MART sporting goods section!

they let you take a fork lift into the store?

markie_farkie: OK CSB time.. I was driving the in-laws and other assorted family to Tennessee a few years ago, and came across this in Cracker Barrel (had to stop there cuz that's the law with that side of the family):

[homepage.mac.com image 640x480]

Flipped it over, and sure enough....

[homepage.mac.com image 640x480]

MADE IN CHINA??? REALLY?

An $8 paper weight? I found that more offensive.

Cracker Barrel has flavorless food. Has always tasted like what I imagine the synthetic meal bars of dystopian futures to taste like, only prepared in some form resembling real food in order to trick the senses.

LeroyBourne: markie_farkie: OK CSB time.. I was driving the in-laws and other assorted family to Tennessee a few years ago, and came across this in Cracker Barrel (had to stop there cuz that's the law with that side of the family):

[homepage.mac.com image 640x480]

Flipped it over, and sure enough....

[homepage.mac.com image 640x480]

MADE IN CHINA??? REALLY?

An $8 paper weight? I found that more offensive.

I can't believe they still make paperweights. It's not like the 1920s when your office didn't have AC and you had to keep the windows open. When was the last desk job you had where your papers blowing away was an actual risk?

Mugato: I've been to Cracker Barrel a lot of times with people on the way to Orlando and I swear to Christ they seat black customers in the same left back corner seat. Maybe I'm crazy but after the sixth time we were there, it was early and there were only a few tables taken, I said to my friends, wait till a black group comes in and Goddammit if they didn't seat them in that same left back seat.

Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackernated

For those of us that actually like Cracker Barrel, here's a Cracker Barrel tip! CB used to have a 6 side-item platter, but they removed it from menu in favor of a 4 item platter at near the old 6 side-item price.
However, the 6 item platter is still on the server's register and is only slightly more than the 4 item platter.

Your six items should be:
1. Hash brown casserole
2. Chicken & Dumplins
3. Fried okra
4.Turnip Grins
5. Mac & Cheese/Green Beans/Steak fries/smothered cabbage/mashed taters & gravy _{(there is no wrong answer for #5}
6. Fried apples

Sweet tea and tell the waitress you want BOTH the corn bread AND the biscuits (don't forget to ask for apple butter AND syrup for the biscuits because they won't bring these two FREE items unless you know to ask)

Now tell me you don't like the Cracker Barrel!

Yeah, yeah, I sound fat. I'm crying in my Goo Goo Clusters on the way out the door! DISCLAIMER: Did not say you have to eat like this everyday

WTF is turnip grins?

Never been to one but after reading this thread it's on my list