Oops!

I would have demanded all the free booze I could drink.

Lawsuit because you can't un-skidmark your undies.

Nuclear Pancake: I would have demanded all the free booze I could drink.

Ya know, after that I think that a good stiff drink is in order for anyone who wants one.

Well, did he come, or what?

Been there, done that.

CSB time....

In 2001, while on a Qantas flight from LA to Sydney, I had a similar experience. According to the in-flight map, we were about halfway between Hawaii and Australia- you know the part of the pacific where there's pretty much NOTHING but open water. All of a sudden, an alarm started going off and an electronic voice announced that we'd lost cabin pressure and that oxygen masks would soon deploy.

There were a few screams, but people generally kept calm. Flight attendants hustled people into their seats and made sure everyone was buckled in. I cursed American Airlines for making me late enough the day before to miss the flight I was supposed to be on, with my school group. Instead of being with people I knew, I sat next to a newlywed couple who quietly began making their peace with each other. It was actually quite touching.

What felt like an eternity later, but was probably less than 2 minutes, the captain came on and said, in an amused Aussie voice "Sorry mates, I hit the alarm with my elbow by mistake. All's fair and there are no problems, so please relax and enjoy the flight."

At the time, I wondered if it was some joke that airline crews played on trans-oceanic flights just to keep everyone on their toes. Seems I might not have been mistaken....

plane flew out of Miami = US lawyers can be involved. sucks to be BA.

The pre-recorded announcements are necessary because you need to have a British voice make the announcement rather than the drone pilot in India.

juvandy: an amused Aussie voice "Sorry mates, I hit the alarm with my elbow by mistake. All's fair and there are no problems

Seems like maybe they shouldn't put the "Oh god; we're all going to die a horrible watery flaming death!" button on the arm rest...

"Passengers have since complained the apology they received from cabin staff did not adequately measure up to the gravitas of the situation."

The world would be an infinitesimally better place if those people were lined up and shot.

I've been trying to imagine myself in that situation. All I can think of is how I'd be laughing my ass off as soon as I figured out it was a mistake. I can't imagine most people would like that, so I'd just have to hope I laughed so hard I cried so I could say I was upset.

LoneVVolf: juvandy: an amused Aussie voice "Sorry mates, I hit the alarm with my elbow by mistake. All's fair and there are no problems

Seems like maybe they shouldn't put the "Oh god; we're all going to die a horrible watery flaming death!" button on the arm rest...

"Passengers have since complained the apology they received from cabin staff did not adequately measure up to the gravitas of the situation."

The world would be an infinitesimally better place if those people were lined up and shot.

Infinitesimal means exceedingly small. Infinitely means beyond measure.

Ha, just kidding. That's not an incinerator.

It's a sarlac.

juvandy: According to the in-flight map, we were about halfway between Hawaii and Australia- you know the part of the pacific where there's pretty much NOTHING but open water.

So there are parts of the Pacific ocean that aren't open water? Who knew?

/kidding

Teknowaffle: juvandy: I sat next to a newlywed couple who quietly began making their peace with each other. It was actually quite touching.


So, did they finish?



"I don't mean to sound forward. I mean, I know I hardly know you. But I don't think we're gonna live through this. And... I've never been with a man before."

So, did they finish?


There's just some things you don't talk about in public!!

LoneVVolf: juvandy: an amused Aussie voice "Sorry mates, I hit the alarm with my elbow by mistake. All's fair and there are no problems

Seems like maybe they shouldn't put the "Oh god; we're all going to die a horrible watery flaming death!" button on the arm rest...

I take it you've never screwed a stewardess on the console before. There's a perfect spot with no switches, but don't do it with a flailer...

Obligatory.

''Is it me or does the phrase 'water landing' sound suspiciously close to 'crashing into the ocean'?'' - George Carlin

1lastcall: The world would be an infinitesimally better place if those people were lined up and shot.

Infinitesimal means exceedingly small

Yes. That's exactly the point he was subtly putting out there. Thanks for railroad-spiking it through our face.

1lastcall: LoneVVolf: juvandy: an amused Aussie voice "Sorry mates, I hit the alarm with my elbow by mistake. All's fair and there are no problems

Seems like maybe they shouldn't put the "Oh god; we're all going to die a horrible watery flaming death!" button on the arm rest...

"Passengers have since complained the apology they received from cabin staff did not adequately measure up to the gravitas of the situation."

The world would be an infinitesimally better place if those people were lined up and shot.

Infinitesimal means exceedingly small. Infinitely means beyond measure.

Let me help you. "The world would be a little bit better if.."

Infinitely small would mean that however small you believe it to be, it's smaller than that.

Chinchillazilla: 1lastcall: LoneVVolf: juvandy: an amused Aussie voice "Sorry mates, I hit the alarm with my elbow by mistake. All's fair and there are no problems

Seems like maybe they shouldn't put the "Oh god; we're all going to die a horrible watery flaming death!" button on the arm rest...

"Passengers have since complained the apology they received from cabin staff did not adequately measure up to the gravitas of the situation."

The world would be an infinitesimally better place if those people were lined up and shot.

Infinitesimal means exceedingly small. Infinitely means beyond measure.

Thanks, Webster, but I think we got it.

algrant33: Chinchillazilla:Mr Guy:

Let me clear this up: infinitesimally means immeasurable. So small as to not be calculable.

So, there was no subtle point being made, no, you didn't get it, and you didn't clear anything up except that you don't know the definition of the word either.

Never use a dollar word when a nickel word will do.

Nuclear Pancake: Oops!

I would have demanded all the free booze I could drink.

Would need SOMETHING to relax the 12-hour pucker your butthole would be suffering from...

/gimme 12 Jim Beams and a Coke... then keep`em coming!

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

/oblig

1lastcall: algrant33: Chinchillazilla:Mr Guy:

Let me clear this up: infinitesimally means immeasurable. So small as to not be calculable.

So, there was no subtle point being made, no, you didn't get it, and you didn't clear anything up except that you don't know the definition of the word either.

Never use a dollar word when a nickel word will do.

Are you saying that the loss of three assholes in a world of seven billion assholes makes a MEASURABLE difference in the level of global asshattery? Are you ACTUALLY suggesting that those three assholes matter?

No matter that the change may be incalculable and therefore infinitesimal, no matter that those three assholes are unlikely to be missed by the world at large, the literally incalculably small reduction in assholishness is nevertheless a reduction, and therefore preferable to the status quo.

It IS infinitesimal, and you can go with 'em.

algrant33: 1lastcall: algrant33: Chinchillazilla:Mr Guy:

Let me clear this up: infinitesimally means immeasurable. So small as to not be calculable.

So, there was no subtle point being made, no, you didn't get it, and you didn't clear anything up except that you don't know the definition of the word either.

Never use a dollar word when a nickel word will do.

Are you saying that the loss of three assholes in a world of seven billion assholes makes a MEASURABLE difference in the level of global asshattery? Are you ACTUALLY suggesting that those three assholes matter?

No matter that the change may be incalculable and therefore infinitesimal, no matter that those three assholes are unlikely to be missed by the world at large, the literally incalculably small reduction in assholishness is nevertheless a reduction, and therefore preferable to the status quo.

It IS infinitesimal, and you can go with 'em.

7,000,000,000 - 3 = 6,999,999,997 = measurable.

Also, maybe a bit more bran in your diet, sir.

1lastcall: algrant33: 1lastcall: algrant33: Chinchillazilla:Mr Guy:

Let me clear this up: infinitesimally means immeasurable. So small as to not be calculable.

So, there was no subtle point being made, no, you didn't get it, and you didn't clear anything up except that you don't know the definition of the word either.

Never use a dollar word when a nickel word will do.

Are you saying that the loss of three assholes in a world of seven billion assholes makes a MEASURABLE difference in the level of global asshattery? Are you ACTUALLY suggesting that those three assholes matter?

No matter that the change may be incalculable and therefore infinitesimal, no matter that those three assholes are unlikely to be missed by the world at large, the literally incalculably small reduction in assholishness is nevertheless a reduction, and therefore preferable to the status quo.

It IS infinitesimal, and you can go with 'em.

7,000,000,000 - 3 = 6,999,999,997 = measurable.

Also, maybe a bit more bran in your diet, sir.

It is not the number of people which is unmeasurable (btw, have you ever TRIED counting them? They don't like standing in lines, and they do annoying shiat like die, and then you have to start all over. The best info we have is computer modeling and 12-year-old census data, and 3 is well below the statistical limit of each.)

It's the amount of assholishness each one is capable of producing. What's the unit for that, anyway? Microbungs?

There's a little bit less, we don't know how much less, but a little bit less is good. Jesus farking Christ on a weathervane, stop being such a goddamn pedant. Just because you can't take the derivative of assholishness doesn't mean it doesn't farking exist.

And just so you don't have to do it.

Radak: Obligatory.

Came for this. Thanks.

//Also this is my sons favorite Far Side.
//Mine is the "school for the gifted kid"

algrant33: 1lastcall: algrant33: Chinchillazilla:Mr Guy:

Let me clear this up: infinitesimally means immeasurable. So small as to not be calculable.

So, there was no subtle point being made, no, you didn't get it, and you didn't clear anything up except that you don't know the definition of the word either.

Never use a dollar word when a nickel word will do.

Are you saying that the loss of three assholes in a world of seven billion assholes makes a MEASURABLE difference in the level of global asshattery? Are you ACTUALLY suggesting that those three assholes matter?

No matter that the change may be incalculable and therefore infinitesimal, no matter that those three assholes are unlikely to be missed by the world at large, the literally incalculably small reduction in assholishness is nevertheless a reduction, and therefore preferable to the status quo.

It IS infinitesimal, and you can go with 'em.

caaaaalm

dowwwwwwn

Golly!

In Mall Rats, Jason Lee's character told a good story for this. You should check it out.

/don't know how to link
//the language might not be sfw
///watched when I was young

Looks like I picked a bad time to quit sniffing glue

Assume crash positions!