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(The Citizen)   A small cut on a child's forehead results in the doctor gluing the kid's eye shut. Bet he didn't see that coming   (thelocal.se) divider line 45
    More: Dumbass, quality of lives, Dagens Nyheter, Expressen, National Board of Health  
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8075 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2012 at 3:58 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-16 12:35:30 AM
The parents of those kids should be happy. They just received the perfect tool to ensure their children behave. Anytime junior gets out of line, all the parents have to say is "You want us to take you to the doctor so he can glue your eyes shut again?".

They're guaranteed 100% compliance from the little house ape.
 
2012-01-16 12:41:45 AM
The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue

Just straight up super glue. Works better than a butterfly if you've dinged yourself badly enough. I use edge tools all the time so this comes up semi-frequently. Clean wound, alcohol, hold it together, super glue, wipe hands on pants. Way cheaper than going to the doc.
 
2012-01-16 01:21:01 AM

vossiewulf: The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue

Just straight up super glue. Works better than a butterfly if you've dinged yourself badly enough. I use edge tools all the time so this comes up semi-frequently. Clean wound, alcohol, hold it together, super glue, wipe hands on pants. Way cheaper than going to the doc.


Not straight up, I think. Superglue is methyl-, ethyl-, or butyl-cyanoacrylate. Medical grade glue is octyl-. There are also medical glues not made from cyanoacrylate at all, but are rather naturally derived from barnacles.
 
2012-01-16 01:48:52 AM

ArkAngel: vossiewulf: The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue

Just straight up super glue. Works better than a butterfly if you've dinged yourself badly enough. I use edge tools all the time so this comes up semi-frequently. Clean wound, alcohol, hold it together, super glue, wipe hands on pants. Way cheaper than going to the doc.

Not straight up, I think. Superglue is methyl-, ethyl-, or butyl-cyanoacrylate. Medical grade glue is octyl-. There are also medical glues not made from cyanoacrylate at all, but are rather naturally derived from barnacles.


I think the only difference is the octyl is less likely to irritate the skin. I just use whatever I have on hand, have never had an issue.
 
2012-01-16 02:29:24 AM
FTA: "The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue, some of which proceeded to trickle down from the injury."

Reganomics goes to Sweden?
 
2012-01-16 04:04:58 AM
Let the free market decide whether his eye should be glued shut or not.

/just hoping his mouth was too.
//kids, amirite?
 
2012-01-16 04:21:17 AM
Note to self: Do not visit this doctor in the event of belly button injury.
 
2012-01-16 04:22:13 AM
Is there any way I could get my hands on this stuff? I can see how this stuff could be used for practical jokes. My friends roofied me 3 days in a row on spring break and them followed me around taking pictures. I can't remember a thing but apparently I pulled my dick out a lot in Key West.
 
2012-01-16 04:31:37 AM

digitalpirate: Is there any way I could get my hands on this stuff? I can see how this stuff could be used for practical jokes. My friends roofied me 3 days in a row on spring break and them followed me around taking pictures. I can't remember a thing but apparently I pulled my dick out a lot in Key West.


It's just high-quality super glue.

Also, spring break and they wasted the roofies to take pictures of your dick? How much do want to bet there's some photos you haven't seen?
 
2012-01-16 04:42:56 AM
They need to chill on this.
The doc made a mistake, recognized it immediately, and then took proper action to remedy the situation resulting in the kid having no long term damage. SOOOooooo many other doctors would have just tried to sweep this under the rug and pretend that it wasn't their fault and avoid any kind of accountability. I'll be glued to my seat waiting to see if he suffers disciplinary measures, but IMHO there's no way they could make it stick. He adhered very strongly to professional conduct, and attached to any punitive measures.
 
2012-01-16 04:44:17 AM
I would've thought that common sense would dictate you tape a gauze pad over the eye if you're working above it with chemicals.
 
2012-01-16 04:44:41 AM
cassanovascotian: They need to chill on this.
..., and shouldn't be attached to any punitive measures.

/appended that FM
 
2012-01-16 04:45:34 AM

Crudbucket: How much do want to bet there's some photos you haven't seen?


It being Key West, they might be more unusual than he planned on. NTTAWWT.
 
2012-01-16 04:56:05 AM

Porous Horace: Note to self: Do not visit this doctor in the event of belly button injury.


A new keyboard. You owe me one.
 
2012-01-16 05:06:29 AM

digitalpirate: Is there any way I could get my hands on this stuff? I can see how this stuff could be used for practical jokes. My friends roofied me 3 days in a row on spring break and them followed me around taking pictures. I can't remember a thing but apparently I pulled my dick out a lot in Key West.


butthurt?
 
2012-01-16 05:10:03 AM
Surgery to open the eye?

Did *anyone* read the goddamned MSDS sheet for cyanoacrylates? Surgery is the absolute *last* resort because the likelihood of farking things up more is increased.

Step 1. DO NOTHING
Step 2. Put a patch over the affected eye
Step 3. CONTINUE TO DO NOTHING.

The eye continues to make proteins under the glue and it will clean itself up on its own. Nature is cool like that.

This makes me mad.
 
2012-01-16 05:25:26 AM
WHAT?
 
2012-01-16 05:25:56 AM
Follow up from the brochure for Liquiband, the adhesive in question:

Facial wounds - When closing wounds near the
eye, position the patient such that if adhesive is
over applied any excess will run away from the eye.
The eye should be closed and protected with gauze.
Petroleum jelly placed around the eye to act as a
barrier is recommended to prevent any excess adhesive
from running into and bonding the eye closed. If
LiquiBand® Optima gets into the eye, immediately
rinse with water to lessen the chance of adhesion.

Both of these doctors are idiots that didn't RTFM until after it was too late.
 
2012-01-16 05:29:16 AM

cassanovascotian: They need to chill on this.
The doc made a mistake, recognized it immediately, and then took proper action to remedy the situation resulting in the kid having no long term damage. SOOOooooo many other doctors would have just tried to sweep this under the rug and pretend that it wasn't their fault and avoid any kind of accountability. I'll be glued to my seat waiting to see if he suffers disciplinary measures, but IMHO there's no way they could make it stick. He adhered very strongly to professional conduct, and attached to any punitive measures.


I see what you did there.
 
2012-01-16 05:37:38 AM
A strange growth, indeed.
Oh, "cut". Nevermind.
 
2012-01-16 05:39:13 AM
I've glued some womens eyes shut, if you know what I mean.
 
2012-01-16 05:43:03 AM

Porous Horace: Note to self: Do not visit this doctor in the event of belly button injury.


Don't want your asshole glued shut or your pecker glued to your leg?
 
2012-01-16 05:52:49 AM

AndreMA: I would've thought that common sense would dictate you tape a gauze pad over the eye if you're working above it with chemicals.


Yeah, or that you put swim goggles on the patient for the 15 minutes it takes the glue to set.
 
2012-01-16 05:54:49 AM

Gelatinous: AndreMA: I would've thought that common sense would dictate you tape a gauze pad over the eye if you're working above it with chemicals.

Yeah, or that you put swim goggles on the patient for the 15 minutes it takes the glue to set.


Actually, they could end up with swim goggles glued to their face... I think I'll go with the brochure's instructions (thanks, bubo_sibiricus).
 
2012-01-16 06:15:43 AM

Jynxed: Porous Horace: Note to self: Do not visit this doctor in the event of belly button injury.

Don't want your asshole glued shut or your pecker glued to your leg?


Either?
 
2012-01-16 06:24:02 AM

Porous Horace: Jynxed: Porous Horace: Note to self: Do not visit this doctor in the event of belly button injury.

Don't want your asshole glued shut or your pecker glued to your leg?

Either?


If anyone's asshole is going to be glued shut, I'd prefer it if it was one of the current Republicans currently running for President. Although it might be difficult to determine which end is the asshole. Glue both ends shut.
 
2012-01-16 06:25:33 AM
That last comment was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
 
2012-01-16 06:42:53 AM

bubo_sibiricus: That last comment was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.


Huh. Weird. My mind ignored it the first time and when I went to see what the mistake was I had to read the post like eight times before I found it.
 
2012-01-16 07:11:33 AM

ArkAngel: vossiewulf: The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue

Just straight up super glue. Works better than a butterfly if you've dinged yourself badly enough. I use edge tools all the time so this comes up semi-frequently. Clean wound, alcohol, hold it together, super glue, wipe hands on pants. Way cheaper than going to the doc.

Not straight up, I think. Superglue is methyl-, ethyl-, or butyl-cyanoacrylate. Medical grade glue is octyl-. There are also medical glues not made from cyanoacrylate at all, but are rather naturally derived from barnacles.


media.giantbomb.com

Give me the cyanoacrylate based superglue instead please.
 
2012-01-16 07:31:09 AM

AndreMA: I would've thought that common sense would dictate you tape a gauze pad over the eye if you're working above it with chemicals.


You would think, amirite?
But, nooooo.
I got whacked in the eyebrow with a dirt rake and split my skin open when I was 15 or so. Mom, being an RN, figured we'd go to the ER, just so they could put a stitch or two in it to keep it from scarring.
So, the tech is shooting lidocaine around it, and for whatever reason needs to leave the room. So, he tells me he'll be right back, leaves the needle stuck in my skin, props the syringe on my forehead, and leaves the room. Pretty soon, I can feel cold around my eye, but most of the area is already numb, so cold is all I can feel. Then, I feel a cold drip hit my ear, and I realize that shnit is dripping out! I figure he must be on his way back, considering there's medical apparatus in my face- but nope, takes him another good 5 minutes before he's back. Meanwhile, I manage to tilt my head so it stops running next to my nose and just goes directly down my temple- holding the syringe in place the best I can, because I'm 15 and what the hell do I know- maybe it should have been there!
Well, the needle comes out, and here I am holding the injection when he comes back. Cue verbal admonishment- until I defend myself by telling him why I've got ahold of the thing- and he goes dead quiet. Stiches my head without another word and tells me I can go.
Lido in your eye is weird. You can't make your eyeball move right, and light hurts like hell. My mom was furious, but this was before everything was viewed as an opportunity for litigation, so dumbass got off scot-free.

Wow. That was a lot of blahblahblah, but it took a while to type on this phone keyboard, so I'm posting it anyway.
Neener-neener.

/css?
 
2012-01-16 08:10:54 AM

digitalpirate: Is there any way I could get my hands on this stuff? I can see how this stuff could be used for practical jokes. My friends roofied me 3 days in a row on spring break and them followed me around taking pictures. I can't remember a thing but apparently I pulled my dick out a lot in Key West.


So you roofied yourself? Or was it your cat?

/Cats are devious little farkers
 
2012-01-16 08:37:14 AM

TheMysticS: /css?


Most of the area is already numb, so cool is all I can feel.
 
2012-01-16 08:49:16 AM
You can superglue your eye shut and give it a day or so and it will come open on its' own.
 
2012-01-16 08:57:57 AM
Dermabond makes doctors lazy. There I'll say it.
 
2012-01-16 09:20:54 AM
Several years ago, I repaired a fossil slab using Krazy glue. Not happy with the fix, I wanted to redo it, but had run out of acetone.
I wondered if putting the slab in the microwave would undo the job. In it went, I waited 30 seconds or so, then opened the microwave door.
A mist of vapourized Krazy glue whaffed out into my face. I blinked, but too late, and my eyelids were glued to my eyeballs.

/true story.
 
2012-01-16 10:17:37 AM

vossiewulf: The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue

Just straight up super glue. Works better than a butterfly if you've dinged yourself badly enough. I use edge tools all the time so this comes up semi-frequently. Clean wound, alcohol, hold it together, super glue, wipe hands on pants. Way cheaper than going to the doc.


As a Blade Smith I approve of this comment. I keep a bottle of crazy glue in every first aid kit. It would have come off the eye in a few days without surgery.
 
2012-01-16 10:41:26 AM

vossiewulf: The attending physician treated the wound using a medical glue

Just straight up super glue. Works better than a butterfly if you've dinged yourself badly enough. I use edge tools all the time so this comes up semi-frequently. Clean wound, alcohol, hold it together, super glue, wipe hands on pants. Way cheaper than going to the doc.


This. I was cutting vegetables last night w/a mandolin and sliced my thumb pretty good. A nice 1/4" deep cut. Clean up the blood, alcohol, and Krazy Glue. All better.

/Still hurts like the dickens, though
//Note to self: That little plastic guard is NOT optional.
 
2012-01-16 11:08:20 AM

digitalpirate: Is there any way I could get my hands on this stuff? I can see how this stuff could be used for practical jokes. My friends roofied me 3 days in a row on spring break and them followed me around taking pictures. I can't remember a thing but apparently I pulled my dick out a lot in Key West.


He's not your friend, friend.
 
2012-01-16 12:39:43 PM

Coffee Snob: I've glued some womens eyes shut, if you know what I mean.


Sewd is what you meant, right?
 
2012-01-16 05:54:26 PM
Eight years of college and these 'doctors' can't figure out to tilt the head back when applying liquid near the eye?
 
2012-01-16 09:07:43 PM
Just don't keep superglue anywhere a pissed off girlfriend can find it. Might wake up with your naughty bits glued to something.

Yeah, vets aren't any smarter applying this stuff either. We took a friend's dog in to the emergency vet for a minor cut on the head, and after the vet squirted an overdose of glue on the wound and the hair / skin started smoking, it was all I could do to keep my buddy from committing murder. They had to sedate the dog, clean up the mess, then suture the wound.
 
2012-01-16 09:26:05 PM
Thanks!
I've never been quoted like that before, even when I say stupid things (read almost all the time)!

It's weird, but I feel like I've actually arrived! You like me! You really like me!
Because I'm smart, and doggone it...

Fark quotation! Which means somebody read my post. It's like popping a cherry, or having a seat over there, or getting my nutsack stuck in a chair slat... I've arrived!
Farkgasm!
Do you hafta be a TF'er to attend the drunken orgies?

/I don't know what got into me. Except my Meds obviously are kicking in.
 
2012-01-16 10:17:19 PM

Coffee Snob: I've glued some womens eyes shut, if you know what I mean.


I, too, have been know to cause a few cases of pink-eye.
 
2012-01-16 10:47:00 PM

TheMysticS: Fark quotation! Which means somebody read my post. It's like popping a cherry, or having a seat over there, or getting my nutsack stuck in a chair slat... I've arrived!
Farkgasm!


I'm guessing the reaction when you get a story greenlighted is going to be pretty epic.

/Sally Field? Is that you?
 
2012-01-16 11:05:16 PM
Yeah, as if that's ever gonna happen.

/you can't win unless you're in
 
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