Mr Hands might still be alive today if he had known.

Those are some happy birds.

Holy crap how did Spector get out of prison?

Funnier if the image came through. Bah.

"Hey, baby...wanna play Joust in my bedroom...?"

I'd hit it.

I'll just leave this here.

I just spent way too much time looking for a pic of something from when Brendan Fraser was on Conan and they threw an ostrich humping him (Brendan Fraser, not Conan) into a clip of one of those mummy movies... I couldn't find one... Obscure? Anyway, I found this, so I guess it wasn't a complete waste of time.

Animal intelligence is one of these really weird areas of study that keeps me up at night.

I'm a meat-eater. My general attitude towards other living things is that they don't really give a fark about me and my only obligation is to keep myself alive, so in turn, I don't really give a fark about them.

But it's incredibly weird to me that other animals that are supposedly less intelligent basically, for all intents and purposes, do things that are a little too "intelligent" and a little too human. They learn. They adapt to their surroundings in ways that are so extremely strange and yet impressive. A little too human for comfort.

The ostrich isn't even a standout animal in terms of "intellect." But when I read about stuff like this I think, whoa, why exactly is the animal taking on these behaviors? Reproduction (and subsequently the idea of attraction) is something so fundamental to biology that I can't but help but be amazed when scientists learn about something that farks with it.

I apologize if this post makes no sense but what I'm trying to say is: Huh, how 'bout them apples?

Still not as disturbing as dolphins actually trying to fark humans (or at least come on to them).

/I'll swim with the sharks and rays, thanks

Dude...that llama is totally checking you out!

Kuoxasar: The ostrich isn't even a standout animal in terms of "intellect." But when I read about stuff like this I think, whoa, why exactly is the animal taking on these behaviors? Reproduction (and subsequently the idea of attraction) is something so fundamental to biology that I can't but help but be amazed when scientists learn about something that farks with it.

Doesn't the fact that they want to bone a completely different species kind of emphasize the fact that these birds are pretty stupid?

Why are there so many?

miss diminutive: [cheezpictureisunrelated.files.wordpress.com image 500x325]

Those are some happy birds.

Well they're riding bareback

I live in Tucson. I have been to Rooster Cogburn's ostrich ranch. It is actually REALLY cool. Kinda like a petting zoo, only it's not bunnies and ducks, it's large animals and exotics.

The ostriches are impressive, but the best part is the lorikeet forest. These little rainbow parrots come and perch all the hell over you, but not in a painful "OW, talons!" sort of way... more like a Disney enchanted forest sort of way. They do tricks if you know what to ask for; try saying "alley-oop" if you're ever there with one perched on your finger. Also, at least one of them is fond of going down shirts and cuddling in brassiers.

The deer and super-fuzzy Italian miniature donkeys are also a blast. If you have a baby who will giggly madly when unexpected things pop their heads out of holes in walls, the goat exhibit is a solid 10 minutes of fun.

/ostrich omelets; you can get one here

milkyshirt: Kuoxasar: The ostrich isn't even a standout animal in terms of "intellect." But when I read about stuff like this I think, whoa, why exactly is the animal taking on these behaviors? Reproduction (and subsequently the idea of attraction) is something so fundamental to biology that I can't but help but be amazed when scientists learn about something that farks with it.

Doesn't the fact that they want to bone a completely different species kind of emphasize the fact that these birds are pretty stupid?

I see what you're saying. It's just weird to me that their learning process leads them to this conclusion. It's like they're smart but they're smart in a defective way and results in them saying "How YOU doin'?" to a species they can't even reproduce with.

Unless this was a SciFi original in which case this article is just a foreshadowing of the oncoming human-bird wars.

/Fall 2012
//Starring Debbie Gibson as "girl who probably ends up getting eaten"

I've known this for many years. This is why I am not allowed with in 100 yards of any ostrich. Court Orders .... :(

Kuoxasar: //Starring Debbie Gibson as "girl who probably ends up getting eaten"

So this is a porno then?

/please say yes

Ringshadow: Still not as disturbing as dolphins actually trying to fark humans (or at least come on to them).

/I'll swim with the sharks and rays, thanks

At least dolphins and humans are both mammals...

Lucky they were able to conduct this type of research without problems. The last time I tried to spend this kind of time studying ostriches hot lava burned the bridges around me and then a damned pterodactyl starting chasing me around. shiat happens every time.

Oh lord, here comes an entirely new line of Japanese pornos...

"HOT OSTRICH ON GIRL ACTION!!!"

trappedspirit: Kuoxasar: //Starring Debbie Gibson as "girl who probably ends up getting eaten"

So this is a porno then?

/please say yes

Lol. Well I doubt many of you have seen these movies, but SciFi has these original movies produced by "The Asylum" that involve ridiculous plots, dialogue, and casting.

For example, to combat an infestation of giant snakes, Debbie Gibson ends up feeding chickens filled with steroids to a bunch of giant alligators/crocodiles. And she wears a short skirt for the entire movie.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this but if you're drunk at 11 PM and want to watch something absurd, there you go.

Also it had the worst CGI I had ever seen.

But most importantly I laughed until I cried.

belhade: At least dolphins and humans are both mammals...

Yes, but the sharks and rays won't, you know, hump my leg.

Kuoxasar: Lol. Well I doubt many of you have seen these movies, but SciFi has these original movies produced by "The Asylum" that involve ridiculous plots, dialogue, and casting.

For example, to combat an infestation of giant snakes, Debbie Gibson ends up feeding chickens filled with steroids to a bunch of giant alligators/crocodiles. And she wears a short skirt for the entire movie.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this but if you're drunk at 11 PM and want to watch something absurd, there you go.

Also it had the worst CGI I had ever seen.

But most importantly I laughed until I cried.

My favorite kind of movie! Have you seen the Megasharks, or Vipers? Vipers has this truly amazing phenomenon of snakes taking bites out of people and chewing. Just.. amazing.

/first Megashark's effects weren't bad
//especially the "Jump from water, eat plane" scene
///second was laughable

AnubisMan: Lucky they were able to conduct this type of research without problems. The last time I tried to spend this kind of time studying ostriches hot lava burned the bridges around me and then a damned pterodactyl starting chasing me around. shiat happens every time.

She was just not that into you

Ringshadow: belhade: At least dolphins and humans are both mammals...

Yes, but the sharks and rays won't, you know, hump my leg.

Kuoxasar: Lol. Well I doubt many of you have seen these movies, but SciFi has these original movies produced by "The Asylum" that involve ridiculous plots, dialogue, and casting.

For example, to combat an infestation of giant snakes, Debbie Gibson ends up feeding chickens filled with steroids to a bunch of giant alligators/crocodiles. And she wears a short skirt for the entire movie.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this but if you're drunk at 11 PM and want to watch something absurd, there you go.

Also it had the worst CGI I had ever seen.

But most importantly I laughed until I cried.

My favorite kind of movie! Have you seen the Megasharks, or Vipers? Vipers has this truly amazing phenomenon of snakes taking bites out of people and chewing. Just.. amazing.

/first Megashark's effects weren't bad
//especially the "Jump from water, eat plane" scene
///second was laughable

You're the kind of person I hang out with.

My favorite part was when Diego Cortez (read: the movie's Cesar Milan i.e. the only one left in town who wasn't a moron) decided shiat was farked but Officer Debby Gibson suddenly decided the Giant Dog Whisperer didn't know what he was talking about. And then a giant party got attacked by giant er animals.

Seriously if you guys like so-bad-it's-good stuff... The Asylum. On Demand. Megasharks, mega vipers, mega whatever-the-fark. We're talking about weapons-grade camp here. If you don't laugh I will refund your money.

Which is good because this was in the free on demand section.

Kuoxasar: milkyshirt: Kuoxasar:
Unless this was a SciFi original in which case this article is just a foreshadowing of the oncoming human-bird wars.

/Fall 2012
//Starring Debbie Gibson as "girl who probably ends up getting eaten"

Ostravatar - a futuristic earth where man has mated with ostrich to create a new consciousness for world ecology. Naturally, the most hybrids inherit the brain of the birds and the brawn of the men.

I just had this sort of mental image avalanche, from ostriches turned on by people to 'the Chicken Lady' from "Kids in the Hall" to Newt Gingrich's wife to the fact that Gingrich and Ostrich look and sound alike. I think it's time to wrap it up and hopefully not have nightmares about Newt and his feathered harem.

So bad it's good movie lovers should also check out The Night the Earth Froze.
(And then there's just fabulously bad, like Stallone's Hercules.)

If you think you wouldn't fark an ostrich, you're only lying to yourself.

Kuoxasar:
Seriously if you guys like so-bad-it's-good stuff... The Asylum. On Demand. Megasharks, mega vipers, mega whatever-the-fark. We're talking about weapons-grade camp here. If you don't laugh I will refund your money.

Which is good because this was in the free on demand section.

Sharktopus? In 3D?

belhade: Kuoxasar:
Seriously if you guys like so-bad-it's-good stuff... The Asylum. On Demand. Megasharks, mega vipers, mega whatever-the-fark. We're talking about weapons-grade camp here. If you don't laugh I will refund your money.

Which is good because this was in the free on demand section.

Sharktopus? In 3D?

3D, 4D, double D. Find four similarly-minded friends and prepare to laugh for 90 minutes.

/"Excuse me Miss Law Enforcement Lady, I think those giant, mutated, human-eating snakes/crocodiles/bearsharks are still alive"
//"HAHA SILLY GENERIC LATIN AMERICAN, YOU KNOW NOTHING. I FED EXPERIMENTAL STEROIDS TO ANIMALS, OBVIOUSLY THE PROBLEM IS SOLVED."

milkyshirt:
Doesn't the fact that they want to bone a completely different species kind of emphasize the fact that these birds are pretty stupid?

I just finished having sex with an ostrich, so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.

Laughs at all of your puny movies.

They are not right in the head.