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(USA Today)   Despite gays in the military, cussing on television, violent video games, and declining church attendance, smitings are at record low levels   (usatoday.com) divider line 54
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5729 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2012 at 9:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-13 08:22:45 PM  
That's only because God's DSL is down.
 
2012-01-13 08:31:42 PM  
He's busy making sure Tebow passes exactly the right number of yards. He'll be back on form after the playoffs.
 
2012-01-13 09:30:21 PM  
God is, was, and will be dead/.\

Welcome to the universe.

Your god is WAY larger than you.

He gives little shiat to you.

You wag about.

Grow-the-fark-up, seriously.

Ugh.
 
2012-01-13 09:32:02 PM  
So people have finally figured out that they should stay indoors during lightning storms?
 
2012-01-13 09:34:08 PM  
Catholicism is too mainstream these days, apparently.

Greek Gods are the new rave, yet again

/statistically speaking, how relevant is the "lighting to lottery winnings" ratio that people use all the time, based on this article
/I was just at OLG today with a friend who won $10k in the 649 lotto last week
/lightning > dollars
 
2012-01-13 09:34:28 PM  
images.wikia.com

You just wait, he's a cooking up something really big......
 
2012-01-13 09:34:37 PM  
must have finally leveled enough to cast magic hammer.

/obscure? more old than anything
 
2012-01-13 09:35:37 PM  
Niiiiice subby. :)
 
2012-01-13 09:35:44 PM  
Why bother with individual smitings? The rapture is coming soon enough.
 
2012-01-13 09:35:48 PM  

rynthetyn: So people have finally figured out that they should stay indoors during lightning storms?


No, they haven't.

And it was good...

Connotation vs. Denotation.
 
2012-01-13 09:36:24 PM  
Nice to see USA Today is trying to foil my script blockers.

No dice, baby.

Useless drivel anyway.
 
2012-01-13 09:36:49 PM  
the multi-smite 2000 is still in beta testing
 
2012-01-13 09:39:19 PM  
No, He's still firing, He's just been aiming at Gadh-Osama-Jong-il.
 
2012-01-13 09:39:49 PM  

Kanemano: the multi-smite 2000 is still in beta testing was not Y2K compliant.


FTFY
 
2012-01-13 09:42:48 PM  
But...but... climate warming! Global change!
 
2012-01-13 09:44:51 PM  

runcible spork: But...but... climate warming! Global change!


Oh, look, an idiot. I feel suddenly compelled to waste the precious minutes of my life pointlessly trying to change the mind of an obstinate asshole.
 
2012-01-13 09:46:00 PM  
James F. Campbell: runcible spork: But...but... climate warming! Global change!

Oh, look, an idiot. I feel suddenly compelled to waste the precious minutes of my life pointlessly trying to change the mind of an obstinate asshole.


Don't assume, silly.
 
2012-01-13 09:46:03 PM  
CSB time:

Last summer, I went to a Catholic wedding for a couple of my friends. During the ceremony, my GF was sitting to the right of me. To the left of me was a friend I had a one night stand with, who is also good friends with my Ex-wife who sat next to her in the same pew. Sitting right behind me was another Ex GF of mine, as well as ANOTHER one of my friends who I had a one-night stand with. The wedding went on with nothing happening to me. To me, that proves that God either doesn't give a shiat, or doesn't exist.

/We went to the bar afterwards and they all made fun of me.
//It was a rather awkward experience.
 
2012-01-13 09:46:26 PM  
God is farming it all out to military contractors.
 
2012-01-13 09:49:28 PM  

TsuZi: Why bother with individual smitings? The rapture is coming soon enough.


I'll take that bet, what kind of odds are you offering....?

/for cereal
 
2012-01-13 09:50:05 PM  
xanadian: That's only because God's DSL is down.

I think the ISW aka god was using Time Warner Cable because I just switched to DSL and my modem has yet to drop out for unknown reasons.
 
2012-01-13 09:51:58 PM  

Dnalrag: No, He's still firing, He's just been aiming at Gadh-Osama-Jong-il.


Meta-commentary.

;)
 
2012-01-13 09:53:34 PM  
James F. Campbell: runcible spork: But...but... climate warming! Global change!

Oh, look, an idiot. I feel suddenly compelled to waste the precious minutes of my life pointlessly trying to change the mind of an obstinate asshole.



But I have to say, you seem a little jumpy and prickly for a libertarian. "Idiot" and "asshole" right off the bat? Overfarked?


/ liberal
// biologist
/// natural-born atheist
 
2012-01-13 09:53:55 PM  

Indubitably: Dnalrag: No, He's still firing, He's just been aiming at Gadh-Osama-Jong-il.

Meta-commentary.

;)


P.S. I love reading y'all when I do. Thank you. Ya'll rock.
 
2012-01-13 09:59:25 PM  

oroku_saki: The wedding went on with nothing happening to me. To me, that proves that God either doesn't give a shiat, or doesn't exist.


Ummmm what? Why?

I'm an atheist, so forgive me, but why would God smite you for this?
 
2012-01-13 10:03:22 PM  
To be fair, Yahweh, while a jealous god, who really doesn't like competition, apparently, he at least respects that others might have dominion over the smiting of folks under their charge.

And if folks have no god, then really, he has no jurisdiction...
 
2012-01-13 10:06:51 PM  

runcible spork: James F. Campbell: runcible spork: But...but... climate warming! Global change!

Oh, look, an idiot. I feel suddenly compelled to waste the precious minutes of my life pointlessly trying to change the mind of an obstinate asshole.


But I have to say, you seem a little jumpy and prickly for a libertarian. "Idiot" and "asshole" right off the bat? Overfarked?


/ liberal
// biologist
/// natural-born atheist


This. Dig your handle, BTW. I always want to fark with the employees at KFC by asking for a runcible.
 
2012-01-13 10:10:36 PM  

Dangl1ng: oroku_saki: The wedding went on with nothing happening to me. To me, that proves that God either doesn't give a shiat, or doesn't exist.

Ummmm what? Why?

I'm an atheist, so forgive me, but why would God smite you for this?


I think my being a recovering Catholic (and a few lingerings of old Catholic Guilt) might have something to do with that. In the Catholic church, pre-marital sex is considered adultery and a mortal sin. None of the sex I have would be considered sanctioned by that religion since I had a Justice of the Peace do my wedding (which ended two years later). Between that and the douchebaggery that goes on over there at the bishop level and above, I left the church when I was 16.
 
2012-01-13 10:13:08 PM  

Indubitably: God is, was, and will be dead/.\

Welcome to the universe.

Your god is WAY larger than you.

He gives little shiat to you.

You wag about.

Grow-the-fark-up, seriously.

Ugh.


I appreciate atheism as a valid philosophy, but that was every bit as stupid and incoherent as anything Kirk Cameron has ever said about produce.
 
2012-01-13 10:19:49 PM  
"Despite" subby? Perhaps you could have used "because" instead.
 
2012-01-13 10:20:59 PM  
He's tired after the big earthquake, the big tidal wave, the big hurricane, and the big tornado swarm he used to try to convince us to mend our sinful ways.
 
2012-01-13 10:23:47 PM  

Gyrfalcon: He's tired after the big earthquake, the big tidal wave, the big hurricane, and the big tornado swarm he used to try to convince us to mend our sinful ways.


And isn't it interesting that he tends to target areas where a lot of his self-professed devout followers live?
 
2012-01-13 10:24:23 PM  
ALL HEIL ZEUS
 
2012-01-13 10:32:03 PM  

runcible spork: But I have to say, you seem a little jumpy and prickly for a libertarian. "Idiot" and "asshole" right off the bat? Overfarked?


So, not only are you an idiot, you're illiterate. Nice to know.
 
2012-01-13 10:33:30 PM  

xanadian: That's only because God's DSL Cable is down.

 
2012-01-13 10:33:50 PM  
It is still a terrible time to have a family. Everyone is against you.
 
2012-01-13 10:36:03 PM  
James F. Campbell: runcible spork: But I have to say, you seem a little jumpy and prickly for a libertarian. "Idiot" and "asshole" right off the bat? Overfarked?

So, not only are you an idiot, you're illiterate. Nice to know.


Now who's an obstinate asshole? Grow up.

fusillade762: Dig your handle, BTW.

Thanks!
 
2012-01-13 10:36:35 PM  
The reason: I won't go to church in Seattle when it is cloudy.
 
2012-01-13 10:37:48 PM  
God's been heavily involved in High Frequency Smiting. It lagely consists of quick, small smitings, and it'll lead to the ruin of the pox market.
 
2012-01-13 10:49:00 PM  

Hickory-smoked: Indubitably: God is, was, and will be dead/.\

Welcome to the universe.

Your god is WAY larger than you.

He gives little shiat to you.

You wag about.

Grow-the-fark-up, seriously.

Ugh.

I appreciate atheism as a valid philosophy, but that was every bit as stupid and incoherent as anything Kirk Cameron has ever said about produce.


Label me and fall short, friend.

I am not an atheist in a labelist-sense.

I am a planetist, if I am anything.

I want what's best for the biosphere/solarsphere, yo.

I want what's best for us, and that is peace across our sphere.

Read that twice.
 
2012-01-13 10:54:47 PM  

The Asshole Guy: xanadian: That's only because God's DSL is down.

I think the ISW aka god was using Time Warner Cable because I just switched to DSL and my modem has yet to drop out for unknown reasons.


Or He's using Fair Point. Fair Point sucks ass. With a straw.
 
2012-01-13 10:56:31 PM  

Hickory-smoked: Indubitably: God is, was, and will be dead/.\

Welcome to the universe.

Your god is WAY larger than you.

He gives little shiat to you.

You wag about.

Grow-the-fark-up, seriously.

Ugh.

I appreciate atheism as a valid philosophy, but that was every bit as stupid and incoherent as anything Kirk Cameron has ever said about produce.


Hey, we can't let you have _all_ the idiots. Especially not on friday night, that's a drinkin' night.
 
2012-01-13 10:57:36 PM  
It does not rain in the desert.
 
2012-01-13 10:58:10 PM  

oroku_saki: Gyrfalcon: He's tired after the big earthquake, the big tidal wave, the big hurricane, and the big tornado swarm he used to try to convince us to mend our sinful ways.

And isn't it interesting that he tends to target areas where a lot of his self-professed devout followers live?


As I said, he's tired. And also peeved that nobody's been noticing his efforts to get their attention.
 
2012-01-13 10:58:46 PM  

xanadian: That's only because God's DSL is down.



God has his own OC-768. I installed it for him.

Smitings are down because he still does that through analog television signals...mysterious ways I guess.
 
2012-01-13 11:00:56 PM  
boourns.cjb.net
 
2012-01-13 11:03:38 PM  

Gyrfalcon: oroku_saki: Gyrfalcon: He's tired after the big earthquake, the big tidal wave, the big hurricane, and the big tornado swarm he used to try to convince us to mend our sinful ways.

And isn't it interesting that he tends to target areas where a lot of his self-professed devout followers live?

As I said, he's tired. And also peeved that nobody's been noticing his efforts to get their attention.


Who's he, Gyr?

Dying man?

World dies, and the hollow man laughs awhile until silent.

Silent world laughs and dies.

Alive.
 
2012-01-13 11:53:58 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org


Would like to disagree.
 
2012-01-14 12:31:41 AM  

Indubitably: Gyrfalcon: oroku_saki: Gyrfalcon: He's tired after the big earthquake, the big tidal wave, the big hurricane, and the big tornado swarm he used to try to convince us to mend our sinful ways.

And isn't it interesting that he tends to target areas where a lot of his self-professed devout followers live?

As I said, he's tired. And also peeved that nobody's been noticing his efforts to get their attention.

Who's he, Gyr?

Dying man?

World dies, and the hollow man laughs awhile until silent.

Silent world laughs and dies.

Alive.


Well, to pander to your atheistic conceit (? is that even right?), IF there was a god--or if I was a god--if I was GOD--I would not be smiting poor starving people. I'd be sending huge ravaging tornado swarms right through the heart of Bible Belt America, ideally crushing their churches and flinging pews all over their congregations. And if their dumbass preachers went about afterward saying "See? It's all because of those homoatheistvideogaming freaks!" then I'd do it again next week.

And why are you so poetic already? When did you start drinking for gods' sake? It's not the season for mad mead yet.
 
2012-01-14 01:36:10 AM  

xanadian: The Asshole Guy: xanadian: That's only because God's DSL is down.

I think the ISW aka god was using Time Warner Cable because I just switched to DSL and my modem has yet to drop out for unknown reasons.

Or He's using Fair Point. Fair Point sucks ass. With a straw.


Fail Point. Get it right.

On topic, I think God's give a shiat button got broken by the fundies. I mean, the guy's son got the human fly treatment and the bible thumpers are going on moral crusades and missing the entire point of it all.

/neo-pagan
//"mass" involves a beer for each of Them and one for me.
 
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