Wanted for questioning.

I_Am_Weasel: A simple misunderstanding.

John, on the way home, could you grab me some of those Ruffles hot wings...?

[media.onsugar.com image 240x320]

Mmm, love that shiat. It's like they dusted crack on a chip, but it's not crack. It's MSG.

ORLANDO --
A man is accused of choking one of the swans at Orlando's Lake Eola.

Police said John Wynne grabbed a swan by the neck and carried it.

Nearby police officers say Wynne dropped the swan after he saw them.

No word yet on why police think Wynne grabbed the swan named Ruffles.

An animal expert says Ruffles appears to be OK.

That's the entire article, by the way. Which is sad. Because with a couple of strategic misspellings, this could have been a story about John Wayne choking a swan by Lake Ebola.

Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

Oh give the guy a break who has not chocked a Swan at least once in their life? Oh fine I guess it is just me and this guy, but I'm sure you all have punched or kicked a goose at least once right?

Swans usually are dicks, who can blame him.

Was he trying to steal the swan?

Weird?

He tried to give Ruffles ridges.

Anyone else think it would be fun to grab a swan by the neck and swing it around like a flail?

Did a quick search on Photobucket for a cover photo of a Jack Taylor novel. When I couldn't find one I wondered who besides me might've read them

gopher321: Was his name Peter Ian Staker?

/somewhat obscure
//"Swan!!!"

You beat me to it! Argh!

mr pity: Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

Came here to say this.

fark swans.

Tornado of Zoo Animals: Anyone else think it would be fun to grab a swan by the neck and swing it around like a flail?

Wringing? the neck is the best, and fastest way to dispatch a fowl foul. Grab them by the neck and just twist the body through the air. or Maybe some hedge clippers or something.

mr pity: Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

Headso: Swans usually are dicks, who can blame him.

came in here to mention this, Swans are assholes and are known killers, very territorial, and far more powerful then they appear.

And they're not even that tasty from what I hear.

So, what law is he accused of breaking exactly?

vpb: Slaves2Darkness: Oh give the guy a break who has not chocked a Swan at least once in their life? Oh fine I guess it is just me and this guy, but I'm sure you all have punched or kicked a goose at least once right?

Everyone should chock their swan. If you don't chock them they roll downhill.

Now I am all chocked up about my cock up.

Sarah Palin's Conscience: mr pity: Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

Came here to say this.

fark swans.

Swans are vicious, aggressive beasts.

I know someone who had to jump into a lake to fight off a swan who was trying to kill her dog. Dog was swimming around and the swan pounced on him and was trying to push him down and drown him.

Guess it almost became a



Cygnus ex swan




YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

atomic-age: Was he trying to steal the swan?

Weird?

Maybe he just got mad when it continued to stare at him despite his repeated pleas to stop?

Man accused of choking swan at lake. This is not a euphemism

It is now, subby.

mr pity: Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

THIS!

Swans are bastards.

I've noticed a lot of FARKers actually advocating cruelty to animals this week. It's a little goddamned creepy and disturbing.

Sarah Palin's Conscience: mr pity: Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

Came here to say this.

fark swans.

I hear they don't think much of you, either. But really, they are just territorial in regard to their nesting area. They aren't any worse than Canada Geese. Give them a wide berth during their nesting season and they are no trouble.

Why would the man do this? I think it has something to do with the old joke:

Q: Why'd the pervert cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

Being well-endowed I call it choking the ostrich.
/Sadly not true

it's just the one swan actually

We live on a small lake. About once a summer one of those nasty farkers shows up on the lake and everyone around the lake comes out of their houses and starts throwing rocks at it to chase it off.

/They clash with the hot babes floating around on air mattresses in the summer.
//note to self.... clean lens on telescope this winter.

Oznog: Sarah Palin's Conscience: mr pity: Swans are Nature's perfect hating machine. Nasty, nasty animals.

Came here to say this.

fark swans.

Swans are vicious, aggressive beasts.

I know someone who had to jump into a lake to fight off a swan who was trying to kill her dog. Dog was swimming around and the swan pounced on him and was trying to push him down and drown him.

I've always heard that. BTW, how hard is it to just grab the swan and snap its neck like a Slim Jim?

/Ohhhhh Yeeaaaahhh!

gopher321: Was his name Peter Ian Staker?

/somewhat obscure
//"Swan!!!"

Sandford's Most Wanted!

Probably got sick of his constant drinking.

Headso: Swans usually are dicks, who can blame him.

Native Swans are not dicks. It's only those eurotrash "Mute Swans" that are aggressive.

They're invasive species: choke them all.

but had he wanted a double entendre would you have given him one?

/dnrtfa

You'd be a nasty mean ass too if you grew up being called an ugly fooker all your life.

Dude shoulda yelled to the cop for help and played it off like a tiger by the tail situation. Hold this sumonabiatch down so I can run!

I'm confused, what is slang for Lake?

A little while back someone was stealing swans from this lake. To sell them on Craigslist. Oh, Florida.

gopher321: Was his name Peter Ian Staker?

/somewhat obscure
//"Swan!!!"

No, his name was William Henry Devereaux, Jr.

/even more obscure
//actually I think it was a goose

HE DID IT CAUSE A PRETTY WOMAN BROKE HIS HEART> AND HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GAY TO TREAT ALL SWANS THE SAME. AND STRANGLE A RANDOM ONE. BECAUSE THIS IS THE NATURAL EFFECTS OF WEED. PARANOIA.