PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Tourette's rarely involves coherent cursing. For a long time I thought my neighbor had a dog, but it turned out it was random noise that he involuntarily made because of his Tourette's.

Pee po belly bum drawers!

"What do we want?"

"A CURE FOR TOURETTE'S!!"

"When do we want it?"

"biatch!!"

Because teenagers would never, ever fake a nuerological disorder where the sufferer shouts out profanities...

Lucky LaRue: It's obvious they're possessed. It's time to start burning witches, again.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Time to get out the weights....and the duck.

Sounds like a sparkly vampire outbreak to me. They need to check all the really dreamy, good-looking, sparkly male students at that school.

fake a disease where you get to yell and cuss at people...get to get home schooled AKA sleep all day...sounds like a win!

Throw them in the duck pond. We only burn the ones who float.

HIPPA? Really?

Well, apparently there was an instantaneous 100% infection rate.

/next item, please

AlwaysRightBoy


This is an easy fix: Just use a bar of soap.

sh*t, that doesn't f*ckin' work, at least it didn't for me.

lunchinlewis: rebelyell2006: Tourette's rarely involves coherent cursing. For a long time I thought my neighbor had a dog, but it turned out it was random noise that he involuntarily made because of his Tourette's.

Sometimes they go "whoooooooop!!!" At least that's what I learned from LA Law.

I thought it was a dog, and not a guy, because his noises are more of an "aaagh" or "aaach" like a bark. But he apparently was a decent basketball player in college.

Wild-arsed guess totally without more information?

PANDAS

I'm going with some side effect of using synthetic marijuana

When my sister went to middle school, 2 of the more popular kids had to get reading glasses. I about a month, over half of her class HAD to get glasses as well.

/Not hatin'. Just sayin'.

SO HOT!!!

"They are not releasing causes due to HIPPA laws."

Writer, You're being CARELESS!

What do we want? A cure for tourettes!!!!!
When do we want it? F&#K YOU!!!

Why didn't subby use 'motherfarking' on Fark?

There was so much derp in the comments section I starting shouting cursewords at my monitor

I used to work at a truck stop with someone who had not only Tourette's, but epilepsy as well. It was somewhat controlled with medication. His usual utterances were "Oh boy!", "I don't care!", and "biatch!". Unfortunately, he also had some other mental disorders because someone slipped him some LSD when he was five years old.

The weird thing was that his family asked us not to sell him Mountain Dew, because it conflicted with his meds. He, however, liked the "high" that it would give him. We couldn't, however, stop him from bringing his own in. (He was capable of driving and had his own car.) One morning I was having a smoke back in the shop before my shift began. This guy came from his car with a paper back, turned a shop pail upside down and sat on it. Out of the bag he pulled a six-pack of Dew and two Hostess fruit pies. He finished all six cans and both pies and three cigarettes in fifteen minutes' time. He moved around like a pinball that day (not bouncing off of things but rapidly and randomly changing direction), and had a lot to say.

And the scariest thing I ever heard him say? "Oh, I think I might do some coke this weekend. Heh heh."

I blame smart phones

Wow, i bet that news station makes sure to say their call letters one by one.

There's a law that prevents them from releasing the cause of an epidemic?

//I mean information about it, I know they can't actually release the cause.

rebelyell2006: lunchinlewis: rebelyell2006: Tourette's rarely involves coherent cursing. For a long time I thought my neighbor had a dog, but it turned out it was random noise that he involuntarily made because of his Tourette's.

Sometimes they go "whoooooooop!!!" At least that's what I learned from LA Law.

I thought it was a dog, and not a guy, because his noises are more of an "aaagh" or "aaach" like a bark. But he apparently was a decent basketball player in college.

What your neighbor might look like:

Genju: Wow, i bet that news station makes sure to say their call letters one by one.

Ha! Good catch.

True CSB worth reading:

When I was about 19/20, I went out to California to "make it" as a musician. I somehow met these two guys, living on the beach in a converted big, blue 1974 school, who were in a band called "Rebel Cause". And by band, I mean it was two guys from Terre Haute Indiana, one of which was an Axl Rose clone (idolized him because apparently they came from the same home town) and a big fat (crappy) guitar player, who had just graduated college with a degree in psychology, and decided to sell everything, buy a bus, and drive to California to become famous.

Well, these guys were hanging out, smoking weed outside their bus in the beach parking lot in Santa Monica/Venice, jamming out, with their guitar and a PA connected to a generator on the bus. I had just gotten off work at Perry's Pizza and More - a pizza, bike, and skate rental shop - and heard them, but more importantly, smelled the weed they were smoking.

I went up and introduced myself, and explained I was a guitar player - they were very cool, and invited me to jam with them. I am a bit of a shredder, and they immediately asked me to join their band. If I did, I could live on their bus. Which seemed great to me - I was living in Hollywood in a cockroach hotel, and had to take the bus an hour to work every day.

So, I moved onto the bus, we jammed out for tips on the weekends, and smoked enough weed to choke a buffalo for the next three months - until I lost my job and we had to move the bus when the cops told us we had been there too long.

So, we moved the bus in front of some guy's house we had met, who lived in Culver City. Who had a roommate with tourette's. (See, there is a point)

The guy used to say "n__er" and "child molester" repeatedly. It was worse when he was stressed out. Nice guy though, we became friends.

Anyhow, the guy whose house it was had a girlfriend, and she was 9 months pregnant. He was off to work one night (he worked nights), and I'm lying in the bus, playing my guitar at about 2AM, and I hear this screaming and yelling coming from the house "NI__ER, MOLESTER, MOTHERF__ING NI__ER NI__ER NI__ER MOLESTER CHILD MOTHERF__ MOLESTER". I'm wondering, what the f__?

My "bandmates" were out somewhere, I forget where, maybe at a bar or something, and I hear the "NI__ER, MOLESTER, MOTHERF__ING NI__ER" getting closer, and then someone starts banging nm the bus door like it was the end of the world. ffffuuuuuu.....so I get up, throw on some pants, and open the door.

It's my tourette's buddy of course, and it looks like he was about to blow a fuse. He's trying to tell me something, but the poor bastard can't get it out. He just keeps saying "NI__ER, MOLESTER, MOTHERF__ING NI__ER NI__ER NI__ER MOLESTER CHILD MOTHERF__ CHILD MOLESTER". So he starts pointing at the house, grabbing my by the shirt. OK, I have to go in the house.

He runs to the house, I start running behind him, we get in the door...and there's the pregnant chick, on the sofa, legs up in the air, and a baby's head poking out of a vajayjay that looked like it had been run through a meat grinder. She's screaming "OH fark IT HURTS HELP ME HELP MY BABY", he's screaming NI__ER, MOLESTER, MOTHERF__ING NI__ER NI__ER NI__ER MOLESTER CHILD MOTHERF__ MOLESTER"...oh holy hell.

I told tourette's guy to call 911, he runs out to find the phone, ni__ering and molesting the whole time, and I crough down in front of this gawd awful vaginal mess, tell the chick to push, the baby's almost out, she's screaming, ni__er molester is screaming, then the baby is howling, it makes it out, I took off a shoelace and tied off the umbilical cord (to this day, I have NO idea how I knew to do that), I give her the baby, grab some towels and fill up a pot with water, start trying to clean her and the baby up...she's crying, ni__er molester is crying and ni__er molesting, I'm shaking like a leaf...

Then the ambulance arrives..pretty quickly actually...and they come running in the house, and the EMT is a black guy....the first thing he is greeted by is my tourette's buddy...you can guess what he started saying, over and over...

The EMT dropped his bag and reared back, about to crack my buddy in the mouth, while I'm screaming "he has tourette's! he has tourette's!", the mama is screaming "help me, help my baby!", my buddy is backing away, scared to death....

The other EMT comes in, tells everyone to STFU, we all STFU, and they come over to take care of mama and baby.

Finally, the adrenaline dying down, I looked at the couch and the floor and the bloody, ketchuppy mess that was all over the place, and threw up all over myself.

The End

Back in my day it was called puberty.

Quadruple Entendre: True CSB worth reading:
.

all your csb is missing is a dog to clean up the mess.

Quadruple Entendre: her EMT comes in, tells everyone to STFU, we all STFU, and they come over to take care of mama and baby.

Finally, the adrenaline dying down, I looked at the couch and the floor and the bloody, ketchuppy mess that was all over the place, and threw up all over myself.

The End

Best read on Fark all day. Great stuff!

Another innocent victim of Samuel Jackson's disease.

Quadruple Entendre: Finally, the adrenaline dying down, I looked at the couch and the floor and the bloody, ketchuppy mess that was all over the place, and threw up all over myself.

That was a true CSB. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

AlwaysRightBoy: busy chillin': AlwaysRightBoy


This is an easy fix: Just use a bar of soap.

sh*t, that doesn't f*ckin' work, at least it didn't for me.

My mother did that to me once. Motherf**king ONCE!!!

My mom did it to me for the word "boobies." Did not work.

/boobies boobies boobies

hoo_hoo_fred: Quadruple Entendre: True CSB worth reading:
.

all your csb is missing is a dog to clean up the mess.

I have no idea how it got cleaned up, but it sure as fark wasn't me doing it.

I met someone with Tourette's once. I pulled up to this place with my partner in our ambulance, went inside to see this chick giving birth and this white motherfarker keeps calling me a "Ni__er child molester!"

I just about cracked him in the mouth.

jst3p: I met someone with Tourette's once. I pulled up to this place with my partner in our ambulance, went inside to see this chick giving birth and this white motherfarker keeps calling me a "Ni__er child molester!"

I just about cracked him in the mouth.

BWAHAHAHA

(but homie was Mexican, lol)