Remember, driving is a privilege for teenagers but a god given right for AARP members.

Seamus's wife is listening to the radio. Seamus is on his way home from work. She hears a news report saying there's a car driving the wrong way down the road that Seamus takes on his way home. Quickly, she phones him and warns him that there's a car in the wrong lane on his road.

"One?" he says. "There's hundreds of them!"

You're all drunk! How do you know where she was going?

Okay that's damn hilarious and I'm incredibly grateful no one was hurt.

BUT... BAILED HERSELF OUT? DOESN'T REMEMBER A THING?

Jesus, I gotta go commit some crimes. As a white woman, apparently I can do anything I farking want and not worry about real punishment!

Thank you, Ron, for that update.

Was she playing burnout?

Everyone knows women can't drive, this isn't news

lipitor is a hellva drug...

Sounds like marriage material. is she hot?

As long as the other drivers pay attention, it's a piece of cake.


/more impressed with the other drivers. Anyone can go 100, not everyone can dodge something approaching you at a 155-180MPH.

Aidan: Okay that's damn hilarious and I'm incredibly grateful no one was hurt.

BUT... BAILED HERSELF OUT? DOESN'T REMEMBER A THING?

Jesus, I gotta go commit some crimes. As a white woman, apparently I can do anything I farking want and not worry about real punishment!

She was able to bail herself out of jail. White privilege!

Mom?

/or make Olympia less depressing so people aren't driven to drink

IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Aidan: Okay that's damn hilarious and I'm incredibly grateful no one was hurt.

BUT... BAILED HERSELF OUT? DOESN'T REMEMBER A THING?

Jesus, I gotta go commit some crimes. As a white woman, apparently I can do anything I farking want and not worry about real punishment!

Bail resolves one of all crimes now?

Aidan

BUT... BAILED HERSELF OUT? DOESN'T REMEMBER A THING?
Jesus, I gotta go commit some crimes. As a white woman, apparently I can do anything I farking want and not worry about real punishment!

Pretty much anyone can bail themselves out of jail. A lot of bail bonding companies take credit cards and you are generally allowed to use the phone when you're arrested. She probably sobered up and was allowed to call one or she might be rich as was able to post her own bond, she was 60. Additionally, I'm sure she was charges with DUI, reckless driving, reckless endangerment, public intox. etc. So no, she's about to have to cough up a ton of dough, probably lose her license, and may even do so jail time

When I was in college a 15-passenger van filled with students was struck by a drunk woman going the wrong way on the interstate.

There was a convoy of several 15 passenger vans coming home from a mission trip. The first and second van saw her and swerved out of the way, the third didn't react in time and was struck and overturned, the fourth swerved and overturned in the grassy median.

The result was about 30 badly injured individuals (no fatalities, thank goodness), a whole lot of broken bones and glass lacerations. One of my friends broke both his legs and had to have pins put in, in addition to having to get around on crutches for about a year. Another one distinctly remembers the asphalt scraping long outside his window after the van turned over and was skidding along its side. He had a fair bit of glass get ground into his scalp and he had to be careful combing his hair for months afterward because occasionally a little shard of glass would pop out.

Oh yeah, the drunk woman walked away from the accident.

scottydoesntknow: eddyatwork: Remember, driving is a privilege for teenagers but a god given right for AARP members.

So I previously wrote on FARK about how I told my girlfriend that I thought people over 80 should be required to take a driving test at least every couple years. She responded by saying "well you should tell my grandfather that." He's an 85 year old war vet from 3 branches. I told her that's ok.

Well on the way to her apartment to move her stuff out, I spotted a red minivan in the distance. This old bat was just driving along the wrong side of the road without a care in the world. She had to be 90 and just goin along. I swerved out of the way and laid on the horn. She finally realized it and just stopped her car in the MIDDLE of the street (2 lane road). The other people who she cut off by stopping got out to help. I looked at my girlfriend and she said "...ok, they should have to take driving tests"

My 85 year old grandfather still has his drivers' license. He's blind with macular degeneration, but insists he can still drive. He took my dad for a ride once to prove it. My dad said he was never so glad to be alive as he was after that ride. We were hoping like mad that he would fail his driving test a few years ago, but the person at the DMV just gave him a rubber stamp. He's in a nursing home now and he had to sell his car, so we're all at least that much safer.

/Illinois DMV

Cybernetic: I read that article and my first thought was "I bet she takes Ambien."

My ex likes to wash that shiat down with 750ml of Pinot Grigio, while also on Cymbalta. Of course the courts don't see that as making her a bad mother.

Teaser: Sounds like marriage material. is she hot?

That depends, are you into GILFs?

Washington State is the only place I've lived where I've seen people stop at the end of a freeway on-ramp waiting to merge "until it's safe".

The only worse place for drivers in my anecdotal experience is NC, where people get lost and stop in the middle of the road. But at least it's not a ramp where people are coming behind you expecting to be around 60 mph by the time they're ramming their car up your bajorkers.

Back in '87 when I was stationed at Ft. Riley, one of the guys in the motorpool drove from Topeka back to base on I-90 on the wrong side. That's 67 miles. He would have gotten away with it if he hadn't been spotted getting off on the on-ramp over by the airfield by an MP. He didn't remember a thing.

He had to be on Antabuse after that and the reason I know is because we would be hanging around in the hall or something and he would walk by and say it's time for his antabuse pill. He would go into the latrine and drop the pill into the toilet and flush.

He drove an old 60's or 70's white IH Scout with a giant rope coiled on top that had to be 3" in diameter. A real redneck from I think AL.

eddyatwork: Remember, driving is a privilege for teenagers but a god given right for AARP members.

A few months ago a "senior citizen" in Buffalo stepped on the gas instead of the brake outside of a restaurant. Her car crashed through the wall and hit a family of three. The 14-year-old son got to watch both of his parents die.

The woman's punishment: no jail time and a ONE-YEAR suspension of her license. You know if that was a teenager there would have been significant jail time (and if the teenager had been a minority, probably in the double-digits of years) and they never would have be let near a car again.

libranoelrose: Why the hell was the truck driver in the fast lane?

Asshole.

This. Truck drivers in the fast lane deserve to be killed by boozed up dope addicts...

Captain_Ballbeard: Cybernetic: I read that article and my first thought was "I bet she takes Ambien."

My ex likes to wash that shiat down with 750ml of Pinot Grigio, while also on Cymbalta. Of course the courts don't see that as making her a bad mother.

she sounds fun...

hotter than the ads: Washington State is the only place I've lived where I've seen people stop at the end of a freeway on-ramp waiting to merge "until it's safe".

URGE TO KILL RISING...

hotter than the ads: Washington State is the only place I've lived where I've seen people stop at the end of a freeway on-ramp waiting to merge "until it's safe".

The only worse place for drivers in my anecdotal experience is NC, where people get lost and stop in the middle of the road. But at least it's not a ramp where people are coming behind you expecting to be around 60 mph by the time they're ramming their car up your bajorkers.

So, you'd rather them force their way into traffic? If you can't get onto the highway that's what you're supposed to do.

Side rant:

I've got a real problem with people who think everyone should drive exactly the way they drive. The rule of the road is to take it slow and give deference to all other drivers, regardless. You can't possibly know what's going on in the cars around you, and when you make assumptions or get pissy at people for not driving like you drive then you're being irresponsible.

I've got an old truck that I use for a lot of things. It runs great and has been maintained well, but that sucker doesn't like getting above 55mph on a good day. I love it when assholes ride up on my bumper and flash their lights at me when I'm not going to do 80 on the freeway even if I wanted to.

One of my co-workers acts like it's his right to drive however fast he wants, and if someone makes him slow down then suddenly that person is at fault for causing him to go slowly. Makes me sick. I don't drive with him anymore.

Sounds like 11pm around the Ocean City, NJ "Yacht Club".

Fubini: Side rant:

I've got a real problem with people who think everyone should drive exactly the way they drive. The rule of the road is to take it slow and give deference to all other drivers, regardless. You can't possibly know what's going on in the cars around you, and when you make assumptions or get pissy at people for not driving like you drive then you're being irresponsible.

I've got an old truck that I use for a lot of things. It runs great and has been maintained well, but that sucker doesn't like getting above 55mph on a good day. I love it when assholes ride up on my bumper and flash their lights at me when I'm not going to do 80 on the freeway even if I wanted to.

One of my co-workers acts like it's his right to drive however fast he wants, and if someone makes him slow down then suddenly that person is at fault for causing him to go slowly. Makes me sick. I don't drive with him anymore.

I don't get road ragey anymore, and I don't speed as much either. Chilling out makes travel so much nicer.
That said, being considerate of other drivers does include staying out of the fast lane when you're not passing and somebody needs to come through. Drivers who are oblivious to this are so frustrating.

hotter than the ads: Washington State is the only place I've lived where I've seen people stop at the end of a freeway on-ramp waiting to merge "until it's safe".

The only worse place for drivers in my anecdotal experience is NC, where people get lost and stop in the middle of the road. But at least it's not a ramp where people are coming behind you expecting to be around 60 mph by the time they're ramming their car up your bajorkers.

Ok, never been to Maryland, huh?
Merge. Not stop.

Fubini: So, you'd rather them force their way into traffic? If you can't get onto the highway that's what you're supposed to do.

95% of the time, they have all the space and time one could possibly need to merge into the right lane with a Boeing 747, let alone a Honda Civic. The other 5% of the time is a mixture of "jam packed freeway you have to wait to get into", or "oops I dropped my coffee, this here seems like a reasonable place to come to a stop and address this situation".

WA drivers are dangerously passive.

Fubini: hotter than the ads: Washington State is the only place I've lived where I've seen people stop at the end of a freeway on-ramp waiting to merge "until it's safe".

The only worse place for drivers in my anecdotal experience is NC, where people get lost and stop in the middle of the road. But at least it's not a ramp where people are coming behind you expecting to be around 60 mph by the time they're ramming their car up your bajorkers.

So, you'd rather them force their way into traffic? If you can't get onto the highway that's what you're supposed to do.

Side rant:

I've got a real problem with people who think everyone should drive exactly the way they drive. The rule of the road is to take it slow and give deference to all other drivers, regardless. You can't possibly know what's going on in the cars around you, and when you make assumptions or get pissy at people for not driving like you drive then you're being irresponsible.

I've got an old truck that I use for a lot of things. It runs great and has been maintained well, but that sucker doesn't like getting above 55mph on a good day. I love it when assholes ride up on my bumper and flash their lights at me when I'm not going to do 80 on the freeway even if I wanted to.

it's called merging. it works. even in heavy seattle traffic one can merge onto 5 without coming to a complete stop. if you're stopping on the ramp you're the problem. if you're in the passing lane doing 55, you're the problem.

scottydoesntknow: Fubini: It runs great and has been maintained well, but that sucker doesn't like getting above 55mph on a good day.

So it "runs great" and has been "maintained well", but you can't even get it up to the minimum speed on a freeway?

Yeah, it comes from a time when the maximum speed on the freeway was 55-60. It wasn't a sporty car then, either, so compared to modern vehicles it's a slowpoke. Even as late as 1987 the maximum speed limit of anywhere in the country was only 55mph.

Your attitude is exactly what I'm talking about. For some reason the people who want to do 70-80 on the freeway cannot help but see themselves as normal and everyone else as going too slow. In reality, they're the outliers. There's absolutely no consideration that someone might not want to go as fast as they possibly can. In my state (MIssouri) the minimum speed limit on Federal Interstate Highways is 40mph, though I've never seen that posted. In Illinois the minimum is 45mph.

For the record, my truck can do 60 -70 miles per hour, but I don't like to. The reason is that at 55mph on a level highway the engine runs just over 2000rpm, while at 60mph it runs at almost 3000rpm, between 60 and 70 it goes up to 3500rpm. Clearly, the engine wasn't designed to go fast on highways. The speed limit on most of the roads I use is 60mph or less, so I just don't go above 55mph because that extra %5 time off my drive isn't worth running the engine 50% harder (and getting that much worse fuel efficiency, etc.)

Inchoate: That said, being considerate of other drivers does include staying out of the fast lane when you're not passing and somebody needs to come through. Drivers who are oblivious to this are so frustrating.

Chilling out makes driving downright pleasurable.

I make a point not to go slow in the passing lane (or in the merge lane if it's 3 lanes or wider), so my only problem is when I'm doing 55 and want to pass someone going slower on a 2-lane road. I'm not going to zoom up to 70 just because the people behind me don't understand how to take it easy.

So farkers now decide the laws of which lanes trucks drive in? Get off the cell phone, pay attention to your speed and stop chasing trucks like a dog. he will stay in the travel lane.

mc_madness: libranoelrose: Why the hell was the truck driver in the fast lane?

Asshole.

This. Truck drivers in the fast lane deserve to be killed by boozed up dope addicts...

It was fairly late at night. If there are not any cops around, truckers open it up at night. Nothing quite like moving over for rapidly approaching lights and getting passed by a convoy of trucks going 90 mph.

A Fark Handle: it's called merging. it works. even in heavy seattle traffic one can merge onto 5 without coming to a complete stop. if you're stopping on the ramp you're the problem. if you're in the passing lane doing 55, you're the problem.

ZIP MERGE MOTHERFARKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?

I don't have a problem merging, but I do have a problem merging in tight traffic situations. I'm a driver that really does like to leave three or more car-lengths between me and the person I'm following for safety, so I'd rather stop for an opening at the end of an on-ramp rather than try to fit into a space I don't feel comfortable getting into. I consider a gap of two to three car-lengths as the minimum space I will merge to (leaving a gap of one car-length ahead or behind me), but I'd really rather not.

Three car lengths is OK for highway driving, but merging is a dynamic situation so ideally you'd leave more room then. The problem is that so many people don't know (or were never properly taught) how to merge, and I'd rather not assume that someone is just going to make an opening for me.

scottydoesntknow: I will only judge based on the answer to the next question: Do you drive primarily in the right lane? If so, then that's cool. I can't stand people that decide the left lane (for passing only) is their personal driving lane forcing people to find ways around them.

Yes, I don't make any apologies for going under the speed limit in my old truck, but I am very aware of the stress that it causes other drivers. That said, I'm not going to get stuck behind a wide-load going 45mph just because I'm going to make someone in the passing lane slow down.

Gordian Cipher: Freeways have a minimum speed for a reason. Maybe you should stick to the back roads in your obviously not-up-to-standards truck.

/if I see you in the left lane you better believe I'm honking and flashing my lights

The standard in my area is 40-45mph at a minimum, preferably at the speed of traffic (though not exceeding the speed limit). 55mph isn't at the speed limit, but it's close enough to not be a huge difference.