FARK.com: (6873977) Fisherman plays 'mack the knife'. Shark trumps with 'when the shark bites' (language Not safe for work)

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		Fisherman plays 'mack the knife'. Shark trumps with 'when the shark bites' (language Not safe for work) (liveleak.com)		32
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6323 clicks; posted to Video » on 12 Jan 2012 at 1:09 PM | Favorite | share:

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Beerguy

2012-01-12 12:51:18 PM

How does a fisherman not use a pair of pliers to extract a hook from a freaking shark?

I wish I could have seen how bad his fingers got torn up.

Happy Hours

2012-01-12 01:16:18 PM

I hate videos like this. Well, usually I do, but this one was good. I knew things wouldn't end well for fisherman dude.

Marshall Willenholly

2012-01-12 01:17:35 PM

Wow, I've never seen a guy have so much trouble getting a hook out. Just grab a pair of pliers and it'll come out easily. And if not, at least your fingers won't be in the damn things mouth. Survival of the fittest.

And by the way, I was once on a boat near an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico and I was horribly seasick and passed out, but that damn "BOOOOOP" proximity alarm thing the rigs blast every 20 seconds almost made me lose my mind.

Pants full of macaroni!!

2012-01-12 01:18:01 PM

Look out, Miss Lotte Lenya.

MaxxLarge

2012-01-12 01:21:20 PM

This guy got what was coming to him, really. How stupid do you have to be to let this happen to yourself?

I kinda wanna make his screams my ringtone.

Arn_Dee

2012-01-12 01:35:07 PM

Cocky moron got what he deserved.

"Aaaagh! Aaaagh! AAAAAAAAGH! AUUGGGGH!"

/proud of the shark
//no, it's for your benefit.

INeedAName

2012-01-12 01:39:54 PM

I used to work with kids in a wilderness setting and I would chuckle every time I'd see them sawing, with their gloved hand holding the saw and their bare hand on the log.

I get the use of the glove on the back of the shark and all, but seriously dude, bare hand right in front of the shark's mouth?!

liverpoolumd

2012-01-12 01:45:09 PM

that was so goddamn painful to watch.

Juc

2012-01-12 01:46:26 PM

Man, that guy screamed lie a female Tuscan raider

MagSeven

2012-01-12 01:50:24 PM

There's nothing funnier than a dude screaming like a little biatch.

Loomy

2012-01-12 01:52:28 PM

liverpoolumd: that was so goddamn painful to watch.

I had to stop when I saw him put his bare hand inches from the shark's jaws! I mean, you were just holding it, you know how hard it can thrash. Why are you doing that?!

At least that mexicanesque dude in a previous video was just posing for a photo, and the shark, which looked as though it had given up on life, suddenly curled up and bit him on the arm. He didn't put his arm in its face...

deadsanta

2012-01-12 02:24:46 PM

Tonight, you dine on man-flesh!

GoodyearPimp

2012-01-12 02:33:45 PM

He screamed a ton for what appears to be a minor flesh wound at best.

Expectation: Missing fingers.

Actual: A little blood around his fingernails.

rudemix

2012-01-12 02:36:10 PM

INeedAName: I used to work with kids in a wilderness setting and I would chuckle every time I'd see them sawing, with their gloved hand holding the saw and their bare hand on the log.

I get the use of the glove on the back of the shark and all, but seriously dude, bare hand right in front of the shark's mouth?!

I was thinking that too. Though it looked like a rubber dishwashing glove so I don't know how much protection that glove would have given anyway.

thisisyourbrainonFark

2012-01-12 02:44:08 PM

Awesome. Guy went from tough guy to screaming biatch in a millisecond.

Thanks for the laugh, subby.

Tony_Pepperoni

2012-01-12 03:47:16 PM

IDIOT!

MaxxLarge

2012-01-12 04:41:50 PM

GoodyearPimp: He screamed a ton for what appears to be a minor flesh wound at best.

True, but think about it: Sharks have a few rows of serrated, razor-sharp teeth, and it clamped down on his fingers.

So that means that in order to free himself, he had to take his other hand, brace it on the TOP jaw, and then try to pull down on the bottom jaw with the hand that was already in the shark's mouth. And that means you're taking what's already an incredibly painful bite, and then making it worse, because you have to drive the teeth deeper into your flesh as you pull down to get the jaws open. Not to mention that once you get it open, you still have to pull your hand up and off the rows of bottom teeth somehow without A) Slicing them any further, or B) Giving the shark enough slack to chomp down again. Add to this the fact that the shark itself is a salt-water animal, so he probably had a nice briny sting working its way into the fresh wound the whole time.

I mean, don't get me wrong. He still totally deserved it for being a colossal dumbass. But even so, I'll bet that hurt like a mad bastard.

Gemcee

2012-01-12 04:56:09 PM

I love it when idiots screw with sharks and aligators. Boneheads deserve what they get!

jackbooty

2012-01-12 05:15:49 PM

GoodyearPimp: He screamed a ton for what appears to be a minor flesh wound at best.

Expectation: Missing fingers.

Actual: A little blood around his fingernails.

Step 1: Get a pair of vice grips

Steps 2: Clamp your finger tips in them as hard as you can.

You won't loose your finger, but I'd wager you scream like a girl.

Now imagine that with shark teeth.

Langston

2012-01-12 05:15:56 PM

MaxxLarge: I kinda wanna make his screams my ringtone.

YESSS! That would be awesome

RoyBatty

2012-01-12 06:09:54 PM

I came here expecting a cute little baby shark being hand fed by a guy holding a banana cutting off slices of it with a butter knife, when cute little shark baby gives him a playful nip.

SPLAMM

2012-01-12 06:10:15 PM

I'm pissed that they cut the shark loose just because Whiney Mcbiatcherson screamed. Now he has a jacked up eye and a huge hook in his jaw. Probably starved to death.

MaxxLarge

2012-01-12 06:26:24 PM

SPLAMM: I'm pissed that they cut the shark loose just because Whiney Mcbiatcherson screamed. Now he has a jacked up eye and a huge hook in his jaw. Probably starved to death.

No doubt. And the jacked-up dickbag who went out on his $100,000 boat, dangled food in front of it before embedded metal in its guts, yanked it out of the only environment where it can breathe, then spent a little time slowly torture-twisting a sharp hook around inside of it for the sake of saving a couple of bucks on the lure before the poor thing got so scared, hurt and desperate that it had to defend itself the only way it knew how?

Well, he probably threw it back thinking, "Goddamn thing deserves it. It BIT me. How DARE it?"

There is no punishment sufficient for giving that asshole what he deserves, but I suppose I'll settle for what he got: Searing, salty bite-pain that will take a long time to heal, and a lifetime of never living down the fact that he screamed like a little girl all over the internet.

artthehypnotist

2012-01-12 07:56:00 PM

Ouch.

John Buck 41

2012-01-12 09:14:34 PM

I'd've gone with the 'dumbass' tag over 'video'. Since, y'know it's already in the VIDEO links page, Captain Obvious.

But that's just me.

MiamiChef

2012-01-12 09:42:06 PM

I go out fishing a lot. We have caught many sharks. Some smaller and some larger than the one in the video.

We always attempt to remove the hook from the shark.

We ALWAYS do this with a pair of pliers or a de-hooker tool.

Dumbass got what he deserved.

GonzoNihilist

2012-01-12 11:43:26 PM

Pete and repeat get into a boat ...

/finially, FIRST

DeadMouseTails

2012-01-13 01:57:51 PM

MiamiChef: I go out fishing a lot. We have caught many sharks. Some smaller and some larger than the one in the video.

We always attempt to remove the hook from the shark.

We ALWAYS do this with a pair of pliers or a de-hooker tool.

Dumbass got what he deserved.

Barring having those tools, would cutting it in half have helped? I've never been fishing but my first thought was he should have cut the hook in half some how. Shark still would have a hook embedded in it's mouth, but only half or a third not the whole thing. Could he live with it like that? Felt bad for the shark, twisting the hook in it's mouth, the guy hurt his eye and it can't breathe. Plus it was probably scared.

kim jong-un

2012-01-13 05:20:49 PM

jackbooty: GoodyearPimp: He screamed a ton for what appears to be a minor flesh wound at best.

Expectation: Missing fingers.

Actual: A little blood around his fingernails.

Step 1: Get a pair of vice grips

Steps 2: Clamp your finger tips in them as hard as you can.

You won't loose your finger, but I'd wager you scream like a girl.

Now imagine that with shark teeth.

I've cut myself pretty deep at times, and it hurt, but it was done. So I didn't have time to register the 'holy fark, that just sunk 1/4" into my flesh" before it was over. Having my hand STUCK inside the mouth of a shark, knowing that it hurt bad and another 'snap' would result in something even worse... yeah I'd scream.

The scream is also an easy way to communicate to your buddies, "Excuse me shipmates, I have a bit of a predicament here and require your assistance. I also would like to make you aware of the time critical nature of my situation and ensure that it is elevated to the highest priority item on this vessel." Or in the vernacular "DROP YOUR shiat AND PRY THIS THING OFF!"

Yelling "Oh fark" wouldn't work, as you might get a reaction of joking around from your friends.

The scream is an instant communicator straight to the primordial centers of the other human's brain: 'Turn on your adrenaline, caveman needs assistance'.

kim jong-un

2012-01-13 05:22:42 PM

DeadMouseTails: arring having those tools, would cutting it in half have helped?

You generally try not to leave pieces of metal in the things you are releasing. I wouldn't carry a pair of dykes with me if I had my pliers, and you really couldn't cut through that type of hook with your knife. Unless you mean cut the shark in half.

kim jong-un

2012-01-13 05:26:59 PM

MaxxLarge: SPLAMM: I'm pissed that they cut the shark loose just because Whiney Mcbiatcherson screamed. Now he has a jacked up eye and a huge hook in his jaw. Probably starved to death.

No doubt. And the jacked-up dickbag who went out on his $100,000 boat, dangled food in front of it before embedded metal in its guts, yanked it out of the only environment where it can breathe, then spent a little time slowly torture-twisting a sharp hook around inside of it for the sake of saving a couple of bucks on the lure before the poor thing got so scared, hurt and desperate that it had to defend itself the only way it knew how?

Well, he probably threw it back thinking, "Goddamn thing deserves it. It BIT me. How DARE it?"

There is no punishment sufficient for giving that asshole what he deserves, but I suppose I'll settle for what he got: Searing, salty bite-pain that will take a long time to heal, and a lifetime of never living down the fact that he screamed like a little girl all over the internet.

Really?

It's a farking shark. Don't anthropomorphize it. They bite things, it's not out of defense, it's not trying to be nice and wait you out, it wasn't thinking of a way to de-escalate the situation.

It was probably thinking, 'Bite, bite, wiggle bite wiggle swim bite swim.'

and as for the comment "No punishment sufficient for giving that asshole what he deserves". Really? Wow...

Ebbelwoi

2012-01-14 11:06:34 AM

I thought it was bite bite wiggle bite wiggle suuuuck my diiiick bite wiggle swim.

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