Ooo^ooooooo sa_aaaa^aaay ca^aaaa^aaaaa_aaaan you^uuu_uuuuuu s^eeeeee^eeee_eeeee^eee

*sigh*

Kelly Clarkson? Have they gone mad? She is way too young to sing at the Super Bowl.

She'll say yes to anything with "bowl" in the name.

I've said it before and I'll say it again....

I'd hit that like the Fist of an Angry God so hard whoever pulled me out would be named King of all England.

I'd be sealed in a vat of my own filth for 3 days for a chance to play hide the sausage with her.

Jake Havechek: I'd be sealed in a vat of my own filth for 3 days for a chance to play hide the sausage with her.

So a typical weekend for a Farker?

My husband flipped out over the Camry commercial with her and Chris Berman. he's like "look at her, she's huge! Chris Berman is a big guy and she's almost the same size"
Sometimes he's such an ass.

Jake Havechek: I'd be sealed in a vat of my own filth for 3 days for a chance to play hide the sausage with her.

Aw hell son , a bucket of J.T.M. and a bottle of Boones and shes yours.

She was doing interviews on cable recently...looks like she lost a little bit of weight.

Mind you, she's not at the slender-post-AI-ghetto-booty-cuteness, but she put the chicken wings down for a couple of weeks.

/yeah, I'd hit that pretty hard, and buy her a steak dinner afterward.

I don't get the hate, I find her to be an attractive woman. I don't think I've ever heard her sing though

Best In The World: "Children say that people are hung sometimes for speaking the truth." - Joan of Ark

See, I think this is a great thang fo young women to see cuz Kelly Clarkson is a large motherfarking woman. That girl is eating Big Macs and drinking canola oil while the rest of them popstars are playing double dutch. But, for real, she's a positive role model for females out there. Who they have last year? Christy Aguilera? Her hat is old. She's a drunk too. And not that people can't remedy they're demons, at the time she was blotto during the damn song. When I was AAA last year I learned about my higher power. Be4 that I didn't have no real relationships with gods but when they said that God could be anything, a door, a blanket, your favorite cloud, I said, I'll take Christ, bro. I hope Aguilera finds that, if not Christ maybe a cloud or a door.

As for Clarkson. I look forward to it, and I hope young woman think that it's ok to eat sometimes as long as it's a sensible meal. And if ya wanna be fat? Be happy, and go holla at a brother who likes em with some plump. Ain't no shortage of bros who will shout at a chun-kay lady.

That's too long to have been a Twit. Where did you find that gem?

I'm torn.

On one hand, I think the music industry is incredibly superficial, favoring the vapid and the self-obsessed over those artists and performers who have actual talent, but fall short of physical perfection.

On the other hand, I like to mock/ridicule fatty celebrities.

Ive met her and I would fark her til she called me daddy. She is one of the nicest famous people I ever met. Even at her biggest Id sic little Groppet on her.

I'm gonna engage Maximum Trolling here and say that Kelly Clarkson looks better than Christina Aguilera.

There, I said it.

JusticeandIndependence: Real woman does not equal model you see on TV fellas.

You're right, so lets hit the Bikini-cam:



Yup, would tear that ass up like a Pitbull with a tire.

Rwa2play: I'm gonna engage Maximum Trolling here and say that Kelly Clarkson looks better than Christina Aguilera.

There, I said it.

That's not trolling. That's fact. Especially the clown-whore blimp Christina's turned into lately. Kelly's always been a little thicker but she's still curvy. Christina got a little thicker and turned into, I hesitate to say this, but all those Latina women in their 40's that look like a lumpy potato with legs.

/we call them potato-people

I love the fact that she was on the cover of Shape magazine with the headline "I love my body" or something like that, but her picture was airbrushed to hell and back to make her "skinny enough" for the general populace.

Raug the Dwarf: Rwa2play: I'm gonna engage Maximum Trolling here and say that Kelly Clarkson looks better than Christina Aguilera.

There, I said it.

That's not trolling. That's fact. Especially the clown-whore blimp Christina's turned into lately. Kelly's always been a little thicker but she's still curvy. Christina got a little thicker and turned into, I hesitate to say this, but all those Latina women in their 40's that look like a lumpy potato with legs.

/we call them potato-people

Exhibit A proving that you're looking at the wrong Latinas:



'nuff said.

/DOSE CANS!

I would start farking her between her toes and work my way up to her ears.

JusticeandIndependence: Der Poopflinger: I don't get the hate, I find her to be an attractive woman. I don't think I've ever heard her sing though

This (new window) is a great example of her range

She can sing like THAT, but instead she sings tripe like "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"?! I would BUY HER CD if she sang tracks like that one.

Rwa2play: Raug the Dwarf: Rwa2play: I'm gonna engage Maximum Trolling here and say that Kelly Clarkson looks better than Christina Aguilera.

There, I said it.

That's not trolling. That's fact. Especially the clown-whore blimp Christina's turned into lately. Kelly's always been a little thicker but she's still curvy. Christina got a little thicker and turned into, I hesitate to say this, but all those Latina women in their 40's that look like a lumpy potato with legs.

/we call them potato-people

Exhibit A proving that you're looking at the wrong Latinas:

[www.babble.com image 400x532]

'nuff said.

/DOSE CANS!

Unfortunately, the ever-delicious model of God's perfection that is Salma Hayek is an exception to the rule. She's half Lebanese anyway.

MaxxLarge: Ha! Spot on, Subby! Just LOOK at how horrendously fat and hideous she is!

[26.media.tumblr.com image 295x445]

I'd eat her up...

Raug the Dwarf: Rwa2play: Raug the Dwarf: Rwa2play: I'm gonna engage Maximum Trolling here and say that Kelly Clarkson looks better than Christina Aguilera.

There, I said it.

That's not trolling. That's fact. Especially the clown-whore blimp Christina's turned into lately. Kelly's always been a little thicker but she's still curvy. Christina got a little thicker and turned into, I hesitate to say this, but all those Latina women in their 40's that look like a lumpy potato with legs.

/we call them potato-people

Exhibit A proving that you're looking at the wrong Latinas:

[www.babble.com image 400x532]

'nuff said.

/DOSE CANS!

Unfortunately, the ever-delicious model of God's perfection that is Salma Hayek is an exception to the rule. She's half Lebanese anyway.

Technicality. I'm guessing she still also has DAT ASS~!

What the fark is wrong with you? She is a fat moose



But with a name like MAxx large, I would expect you to be fat as well...farking gross

/where are the tits?
//I don't even...

Amurica...Fark Ya!: /where are the tits?
//I don't even...

I believe the clinical term is being a "flatso".

MaxxLarge: Ha! Spot on, Subby! Just LOOK at how horrendously fat and hideous she is!

[26.media.tumblr.com image 295x445]

While I do defend her for no apparent reason, she was wearing a particularly unflattering outfit on SNL last week.

I baked her a cake for the occasion:

Kelly is a beautiful sexy woman with great talent! Kelly is a big boned woman and still very sexy. Plus she has loads of money and she can sing, so yes I would fark her if she ever gave me the chance.

Anyone have any Kelly Clarkson Cameltoe photos?

See, to me, she's like "the girl next door". I happen to like that.

Lots of bacon, no eggs.

/would hit it hard

steklo: Anyone have any Kelly Clarkson Cameltoe photos?

See, to me, she's like "the girl next door". I happen to like that.

Jewel Staite yes , her no.

Amurica...Fark Ya!: What the fark is wrong with you? She is a fat moose

Yeah, she's kinda porked up in that pic. But she carries it fairly well IMO.

/I said "pork", heh heh.

I don't find her attractive, and it's mostly the face. I like women in all shapes, but her face just kills it for me. I don't know what it is.

Oh, and A Screaming Man with Two-Toned Shoes--I see what you did there. And I like it.

Mmmm...that gut and sunken tits make fat guys go nuts...



/double chin is a bonus

Evil Mackerel: steklo: Anyone have any Kelly Clarkson Cameltoe photos?

See, to me, she's like "the girl next door". I happen to like that.

Jewel Staite yes , her no.



Shiny!

/let's be bad guys.
//OK, I'l be the bad guy. You be a bad, BAD girl.

apeiron242: Best In The World: "Children say that people are hung sometimes for speaking the truth." - Joan of Ark

See, I think this is a great thang fo young women to see cuz Kelly Clarkson is a large motherfarking woman. That girl is eating Big Macs and drinking canola oil while the rest of them popstars are playing double dutch. But, for real, she's a positive role model for females out there. Who they have last year? Christy Aguilera? Her hat is old. She's a drunk too. And not that people can't remedy they're demons, at the time she was blotto during the damn song. When I was AAA last year I learned about my higher power. Be4 that I didn't have no real relationships with gods but when they said that God could be anything, a door, a blanket, your favorite cloud, I said, I'll take Christ, bro. I hope Aguilera finds that, if not Christ maybe a cloud or a door.

As for Clarkson. I look forward to it, and I hope young woman think that it's ok to eat sometimes as long as it's a sensible meal. And if ya wanna be fat? Be happy, and go holla at a brother who likes em with some plump. Ain't no shortage of bros who will shout at a chun-kay lady.

That's too long to have been a Twit. Where did you find that gem?

I don't know where he got it, but after his showing in the How I met Your Mother thread, he is quickly becoming one of my fav Farkers.

/for the lulz anyway

I used to want to hit that, then I saw her on SNL the other week.

No thanks, she looks like a bell now. And there's not even anything up top to balance things out.

....heel it down the drain.

Vcook: ....heel it down the drain.

This. This is why I clicked into the thread.

Maechyll: Oh, and A Screaming Man with Two-Toned Shoes--I see what you did there. And I like it.