I hit the ball first time, and there it was in the back of the net.

/I'm opening a boutique

And now he's dead.

Not exactly a repeat, but I've seen something similar out of a Russian keeper on these hallowed pages.

Why was he using his hands?

FUTbol!

FUT!

FLMountainMan: And why the hell wasn't his team screaming at him to look out for the guy behind him?

Because this is soccer and the players were too busy taking dives when not even contacted? You know, the "manliest" sport that is called football because your foot hits the ball and that means they are geniuses and not morons that need to be reminded how the game works in the name.

Well that's embarrassing.

Now THIS is why we have a tag on this site.

Hahaha he plays futbol. Epic fail.

America needs more announcers like this.

/Tebowowowowowowowowowowow

I think he was beyond the backline when he scooped the ball before the "fail." One foot was clearly over the line.

Nah the guy bet big on/against the goal differential and secured his retirement fund. At least I hope so because to be that dumb should be painful.

FLMountainMan: I don't really get what he was trying to do. Was he getting ready to just kick it? Why not throw or punt it? And why the hell wasn't his team screaming at him to look out for the guy behind him?

/Goalkeeper

You're a goalie and have no idea what he was doing, really? Never seen a goalie kick the ball from the ground? He obviously wasn't paying attention and forgot that there was a player behind him. He wasn't warned by anybody because they were all running down field which is also the reason for him waiting to make the kick.

That Spanish was strangely not obnoxious. Where's the announcer from?

About the only worse thing would have been if he had made an own goal out of it.

How is he not offside? It appears the last defender was already up field.

The other team needed to hug each other more.

/Soccer's gay.
//NTTAWWT--mostly

As a goalie, I've had those days, and they are painful. I'm not even gonna watch the video actually. Don't wish that kind of stuff on any keeper.

Oh, my. No way to put a good face on that one. No, sir.

Farkers: he made more saves than we did that day
Footies: Mallorca is getting better, they played great match vs Valencia sunday.

I am legally blind and I can see what he did wrong!

FLMountainMan: I don't really get what he was trying to do. Was he getting ready to just kick it? Why not throw or punt it? And why the hell wasn't his team screaming at him to look out for the guy behind him?

/Goalkeeper
//For most of the whopping twelve months I've played soccer for so far
///Wish I'd taken it up a lot earlier.

because he was waiting for his team to get down field, but also being mindful of the rule about how long a keeper can hold the ball after making a save.

I'd be curious to see a wider angle on the play to see if that attacker was just playing possum down on the touch line, or if he was tying his shoe or something. That was a relatively long time for a guy to just be hanging out behind the play.

FLMountainMan: Was he getting ready to just kick it? Why not throw or punt it? And why the hell wasn't his team screaming at him to look out for the guy behind him?

He had just given up three goals in as many minutes. He was trying to slow the pace of the game and give his teammates a moment to get upfield.

As for why his teammates weren't yelling to him: Giving up that many goals that quickly takes the wind out of your sails, so I'm guessing the players an the bench were eerily quiet. Also, he's a professional athlete; his teammates should have a reasonable expectation that he isn't going to hand the ball to the other team - that's usually one of the first things they teach you in youth ball.

I've been there and done that. But I'm also not getting paid to play.

I have never seen a 6 second called in recent years. I do not remember the last one.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: CygnusDarius: That guy's contract is dead.

I expect there will be an inquisition at least.

No one's expecting that.

I think this guy is a hero. He was trying to make soccer interesting. He had two choices: let that guy score or kick the ball 10 feet to another guy who runs 50 feet and then kicks it to another guy who runs another fifty feet but a guy on the opposing team gets in his face and kicks the ball to a teammate who runs another 50 feet before kicking the ball out of bounds. Then some guy throws the ball 20 feet and his teammate runs 50 feet and kicks the ball to a teammate who runs another 50 feet....

Repeat for 2 hours. Wash hands.

gimmegimme:
(useless blather)

Repeat for 2 hours. Wash hands.

I attended my first American football game in person for the first time in about 8 years, and good God was it boring. Watching on TV with all those damned commercial breaks actually gives you something to do. At the game, aside from the typical 30-40 seconds between plays that last about 3-7 seconds, the game clock stops when there's incomplete passes or the player with the ball goes out of bounds. Then there's timeouts taken by the teams, and extended TV breaks after changes in possession. Occasionally they'll trot out the cheerleaders, but that's only worthwhile if you're an overweight, balding, middle-aged male who can't get it up anymore with front-row seats. Then there's a break each time after they run 15 minutes off the game clock (which takes about 45 minutes in real time). So, while with soccer, you get roughly 90 minutes of game spread out over 2 hours, football takes 60 minutes and stretches it over 3 hours. And soccer's the more boring sport...

What soccer really needs to do is award arbitrary point values. Say, 7 points for every goal scored. And for every time the team possesses the ball in their opponent's half but is unable to score a goal, we'll just award them 3 points for an unsuccessful shot in the general direction of the end line. Because I couldn't find any statistics regarding shots, Mallorca's 6-1 win in this game becomes 42-7, which suddenly looks far more exciting (if not completely lopsided) to people in this country.

madden101: gimmegimme:
(useless blather)

Repeat for 2 hours. Wash hands.

I attended my first American football game in person for the first time in about 8 years, and good God was it boring. Watching on TV with all those damned commercial breaks actually gives you something to do. At the game, aside from the typical 30-40 seconds between plays that last about 3-7 seconds, the game clock stops when there's incomplete passes or the player with the ball goes out of bounds. Then there's timeouts taken by the teams, and extended TV breaks after changes in possession. Occasionally they'll trot out the cheerleaders, but that's only worthwhile if you're an overweight, balding, middle-aged male who can't get it up anymore with front-row seats. Then there's a break each time after they run 15 minutes off the game clock (which takes about 45 minutes in real time). So, while with soccer, you get roughly 90 minutes of game spread out over 2 hours, football takes 60 minutes and stretches it over 3 hours. And soccer's the more boring sport...

What soccer really needs to do is award arbitrary point values. Say, 7 points for every goal scored. And for every time the team possesses the ball in their opponent's half but is unable to score a goal, we'll just award them 3 points for an unsuccessful shot in the general direction of the end line. Because I couldn't find any statistics regarding shots, Mallorca's 6-1 win in this game becomes 42-7, which suddenly looks far more exciting (if not completely lopsided) to people in this country.

The big problem with soccer, in my view, is that there are such LONG periods during which no scoring (or action) can occur. In baseball, there is conflict on EACH PITCH. A constant battle between pitcher and catcher. In football, each play is a definitive battle between offense and defense. No matter what, SOMETHING is going to happen.

In soccer, there's an interminable interregnum between stuff happening. I'm guessing it is kinda fun to go to a non-American football match; you can have a few beers, sing your team's song, yell at the other team's supporters. Great. Just watching the game, however, it's like watching a busy intersection waiting for the 6-car pileup that never happens.

Umm, Subby, there was only one of the four goals on that video. Can you repost so we can see the "Epic Failure?" You promised epic and by God, I would like to see epic..

gimmegimme: A constant battle between pitcher and catcher.

Sounds like a dysfunctional team.

Theaetetus: gimmegimme: A constant battle between pitcher and catcher.

Sounds like a dysfunctional team.

Oops. You're right. I meant "pitcher and batter." I've been watching a lot of Glee lately.

Seems a lot like this Hidden ball trick (new window)

//background music is necessary

gimmegimme: The big problem with soccer, in my view, is that there are such LONG periods during which no scoring (or action) can occur.

If you think that no scoring equals no action, I bet your wife isn't happy with sex.

madden101:

What soccer really needs to do is award arbitrary point values. Say, 7 points for every goal scored. And for every time the team possesses the ball in their opponent's half but is unable to score a goal, we'll just award them 3 points for an unsuccessful shot in the general direction of the end line. Because I couldn't find any statistics regarding shots, Mallorca's 6-1 win in this game becomes 42-7, which suddenly looks far more exciting (if not completely lopsided) to people in this country.


I've often said exactly the same thing. And your example doesn't even factor in any "field goals" from that soccer game (i.e., unsuccessful shots toward the goal). Conversely, if football was scored like soccer (one point for a touchdown and no points for driving into the other team's half of the field without actually getting into the end zone), then the two games between college football's (arguably) two best teams this year would have ended regulation 0-0 and 1-0.

/Prefers watching football to soccer, but enjoys both
//Doesn't understand all the biatching about lack of scoring in soccer

muwaryer: then the two games between college football's (arguably) two best teams this year would have ended regulation 0-0 and 1-0.

A low-scoring game in which the teams [almost] solely score by kicking a ball into a net?

LSU and Alabama were playing soccer.

kobrakai: gimmegimme: The big problem with soccer, in my view, is that there are such LONG periods during which no scoring (or action) can occur.

If you think that no scoring equals no action, I bet your wife isn't happy with sex.

And if you think it's exciting to spend all of your time meandering on the turf, never landing one in the net, I bet your wife isn't happy, either. =)

gimmegimme: kobrakai: gimmegimme: The big problem with soccer, in my view, is that there are such LONG periods during which no scoring (or action) can occur.

If you think that no scoring equals no action, I bet your wife isn't happy with sex.

And if you think it's exciting to spend all of your time meandering on the turf, never landing one in the net, I bet your wife isn't happy, either. =)

You are making no sense. You talk about the constant battle of the pitcher and batter on every pitch but don't mention the battle for possession, the changing of formations on the fly to out maneuver the defense or the creativeness of materializing a play to get a shot on goal all on the fly with no stoppage. They don't have some guy on the sidelines with a headset telling them what plays to run and a 30 second break to figure it all out.

jpo2269: Umm, Subby, there was only one of the four goals on that video. Can you repost so we can see the "Epic Failure?" You promised epic and by God, I would like to see epic..


hope that helped
/not subbie

muwaryer: I've often said exactly the same thing. And your example doesn't even factor in any "field goals" from that soccer game (i.e., unsuccessful shots toward the goal). Conversely, if football was scored like soccer (one point for a touchdown and no points for driving into the other team's half of the field without actually getting into the end zone), then the two games between college football's (arguably) two best teams this year would have ended regulation 0-0 and 1-0.

Yeah, I tried several different sites (ESPN's Soccernet, both teams' pages, etc.) but no one had any stats regarding shots or shots on goal. I suspect, if the game was as one-sided as it seems, Mallorca could've easily had 60 by our new standards.