FTFA:Amish splinter sect

No doubt, brother.

Also:

Sam Mullet

heh.

The Amish Mullet: Business on the grin, party on the chin.

I wouldn't call what I do "intimacy".

The FBI said in an affidavit that Mullet, 66, forced wayward followers to sleep in chicken coops for days at a time on his 800-acre farm in Bergholz in rural Jefferson County.

Well, if this Amish thing doesn't pan out he could always become a landlord in Hong Kong.

are they saying that the magic penis is illegal?

also, i'm pretty sure they feds are more upset with him ordering his crazy amish to attack other amish. to me the best part of the whole thing is that the rouge amish attackers used electric clippers in the beard and hair cutting attacks. electric clippers...isn't that, you know, not amish?

A Fark Handle

are they saying that the magic penis is illegal?


If you call it Your Holy Staff of Life, you can claim in as a deduction.

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Rev. Skarekroe: NOW how am I supposed to get any action?

You can use my favorite line: "Have you ever smelled chloroform? Here." It's a pretty effective icebreaker. I'm here to help.

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Rev. Skarekroe: NOW how am I supposed to get any action?

You can use my favorite line: "Have you ever smelled chloroform? Here." It's a pretty effective icebreaker. I'm here to help.

I thought the line is, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

I had a devil cleaning woman. She cleaned my pipes

After the laying on of hands. She cast a demon out the end of my penis. She cleaned that up too.

Amish folks: rapin' and beard-growin' and not-a-fark-givin'.

I like making fun of the Amish on the internet. What are they gonna do? Kick my ass?

I'm am tired of this Amish on Amish crime.

Now I wish I'm an Amish sect leader.

He also took married women in his community into his home "to cleanse them of the devil with acts of sexual intimacy, the FBI said.

I've tried this several times, but it never works. They do tend to shower for long periods afterwards though, so there's that.

Beard cutters!

I used to cleanse the devil out of women, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

/ dumbest farking internet joke/theme ever
// I feel dirty for even writing this.

So... I need to leave the devil in them?
TFA isn't exactly clear.

When will this environment of religious oppression end? If cleansing a woman of the devil through acts of sexual intimacy is illegal, then the terrorists have won.

I've seen this porn.

Slaves2Darkness: I used to cleanse the devil out of women, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

/ dumbest farking internet joke/theme ever
// I feel dirty for even writing this.

I hate that one too, but I chuckled at your post.

You guys know how doctors treated women for hysteria in the 19th century?

If you've ever seen Amish women you will understand why the men like to bugger sheep... or pigs... or horses. You get the idea.

Great, I guess I can throw away this half-written AmishHealing.com start-up proposal. Typical intrusive government legislation killing the entrepreneurial spirit.

Short guy: It's true you don't see many Amish women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for Amish men.
Tall guy: [whispering] It's the beards.
Short guy: And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no Amish women, and that Amish just spring out of holes in the ground!
[Other guy: laughs]
Short guy: Which is, of course, ridiculous.

The Holy Cock of Antioch

Get the poison out of your system!

Buttsects?

I'll just put the devil back in them with similar acts of intimacy.

Slaves2Darkness: I used to cleanse the devil out of women, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

I don't know how you do it, but I don't require the use of my knee.

/I know the meme

I wonder how this goes down verbally?

Abe: "Thou must submitteth thine womanhood unto me."

Mary: "Nay, Abe. Your covetedness of mine bosoms is not of purity or of The Divine."

Abe: "Verily verily I say unto you, yay, your bosoms are Divine. And thy must submitteth thyself to my physical ministrations lest the devil of thine womanness not be cast out."

envirovore: I've seen this porn.

You know when you don't know if something is right or not, but it just sounds wrong? This is how I feel when I see the word "porn" referred to as singular. I always thought a porn movie was called "a porno", not "a porn". So, saying "let's go watch some porn" or "let's go watch a porno" would be correct, but "this is a great porn" would be incorrect. I dunno...am I alone in this?

Mayor Bee: envirovore: I've seen this porn.

You know when you don't know if something is right or not, but it just sounds wrong? This is how I feel when I see the word "porn" referred to as singular. I always thought a porn movie was called "a porno", not "a porn". So, saying "let's go watch some porn" or "let's go watch a porno" would be correct, but "this is a great porn" would be incorrect. I dunno...am I alone in this?

I would just watch more pr0ns and not worry about it.

Well its not like they could use a washing machine! They're Amish!

envirovore: I've seen this porn.

Barn Raisers?

Well, women ARE evil...so there's that. ;)

Bruxellensis: Mayor Bee: envirovore: I've seen this porn.

You know when you don't know if something is right or not, but it just sounds wrong? This is how I feel when I see the word "porn" referred to as singular. I always thought a porn movie was called "a porno", not "a porn". So, saying "let's go watch some porn" or "let's go watch a porno" would be correct, but "this is a great porn" would be incorrect. I dunno...am I alone in this?

I would just watch more pr0ns and not worry about it.

Prawns? You want the 'is a crayfish a lobster' thread down-page.

nobody's posted the topless shot of Kelly McGillis shot from Witness yet? Fark disappoints.

Mullet should start an Amish death metal band. Hell, he already has the name ready to go. Full-contact butter churning in a mosh pit would be a site to behold.

shiate. There goes my weekend.

Do the cops still frown upon rolling bums?

@Mayor Bee: No, you are not incorrect... Wait, What? I mean you are correct. I look at it the same way.

what if your wife is the devil?

Slaves2Darkness: // I feel dirty for even writing this

Therefore you need to be... cleansed?